I’m Mad Again

I wanted to put a Credit Freeze on my account with the 3 Credit Services. Before I was done (took a very long time to jump through all of their hoops) I was not thinking too kindly of one of my Friendly Credit Services...

A Hoop...By clicking "Submit and Continue": I accept and agree to your Terms of Use Agreement, as well as acknowledge receipt of your Privacy Policy. (If I want to get my Credit Freeze set up, I have to agree to their rules.)

Here are their rules...

A Hoop...I authorize FriendlyCreditServices.com, Inc., also referred to as ("FCS"), to obtain my credit report and/or credit score(s), on a recurring basis to:

• Provide my credit report (and/or credit score) to me for review while I have an account with FCS.
• Notify me of other products and services that may be available to me through FCS or through unaffiliated third parties. (I did the underlining.) I DON’T WANT THIS HARRASSMENT BUT HAVE NO CHOICE IF I WANT MY CREDIT FREEZE SET UP!
• Notify me of credit opportunities and advertised credit offers. (I did the underlining.) I DON’T WANT THIS HARRASSMENT BUT HAVE NO CHOICE IF I WANT MY CREDIT FREEZE SET UP!

I’m being shoved around by the Friendly People at FCS but I started to come up with a plan because I still thought they might be my Friends.

I decided to read through their Friendly Terms of Use Agreement. I am sure that somewhere in there there will be a place where they will allow me to state my Friendly Objection to their bombarding me with other products and services that may be available to me through FCS or through unaffiliated third parties and notify me of credit opportunities and advertised credit offers. I DON’T WANT THIS HARRASSMENT BUT HAVE NO CHOICE IF I WANT MY CREDIT FREEZE SET UP!

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It’s time for a Fella In Other Words...In other words they are forcing me to give them permission to harass me with time consuming interruptions to my day that (because of the Internet Interruption Filled World we live in) is already full of time consuming interruptions!

Oh, I almost forgot, (that’s a Fella Lie because I always intended to put this Fella Tirade right here in this Blog Posting)...

FCS’ Terms of Use Agreement is 26,045 words long!

If there is an exception in there somewhere, what do you think are my chances of finding that exception in 26,045 words?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Say It Ain't So, Joe!

 

Uncle Joe is here visiting with me today and when I showed him the stats below he said, "Come on, man!"

Over the last year, Malwarebytes protected our loyal customers like you from the following threats:

Adware 16,917,174 & Trojan 6,637,893 & Cryptojacking 6,632,817 & Ransomware 3,287,326

Uncle Joe did not say he could fix the problem but it lessened my pain when he said he felt my pain.

Would Malwarebytes exaggerate such numbers to get me to renew my subscription? Yea, I guess it’s possible they did because Lying, Cheating, Exaggerating, Fibbing, Bending the Truth a Little and a Lot is how we do things nowadays.

That having been said, think about these numbers. Malwarebytes is claiming that they had to come to its subscriber’s rescue 33,475,210 times in one single year! Malwarebytes Must Be Exhausted!

Is anybody getting caught for doing all of this? Is anyone going on trail? Is anyone going to jail?

If the computer world had come along in the 1940’s we would all be in Iron Lungs because Dr. Jonas Salk would have been offered a lot of money to stop doing Polio Research so he could go work in some bad guy’s garage.

Have you ever wondered why you don’t hear about Bank Robberies any longer? It’s because the would-have-been bank robbers are making a lot more money (than they ever could have made by robbing banks) by pecking at computers while sitting in X-Chairs Drinking Little Fruity Drinks with umbrellas in them as they work on ways to take our money from us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If they (whoever “they” are) are catching any of these bad guys, they ought to publicize it in the news. It seems like the hackers are winning and we are just waiting for Football Season to start and hoping, when it does start, we will have enough money left to pay cable TV bill.

Most of Us Don’t Yet Know About Artificial Intelligence (AI) but In Years to Come Many of Us Are Going To Be Amazed By It and Many of Us Will Be Harmed By It

Below are 3 True Lies...

Ø I just listened to an Audio Recording from Ernest Hemingway in which he praised my Foolishness...Or Is It Blog for its Great Humor, its Hard Hitting Addressing of Important Subject Matter and Magnificent Word Usage and Sentence Construction.

Ø I just listened to an Audio Recording from General George S. Patton telling me he very much enjoyed my recent presentation about Helicopter Medical Evacuation in Vietnam. He told me how he wished he had had the opportunity to utilize Dustoff Medical Evacuation when he was in command of the 3^rd Army during World War ll.

Ø I just listened to an Audio Recording from Babe Ruth telling me how I could have been a better home run hitter than he was if I only were bigger, had better eye-hand coordination, were not so clumsy fielding ground balls, had better developed muscles, could run faster than I can and did not strike out as often as I do.

All 3 bullets above are completely false but the fact that 3 famous people (Hemingway, Patton and Ruth) are heard to say the words makes them sound very believable. How can it be that these people who never said these things are heard saying these things? The reason they are heard saying what they did not say is because such audio recordings can now we created by AI thanks to something Microsoft has come up with called VALL-E.

Here is an excerpt from a very long and confusing article (article link below) that tries to explain all of it...

On January 5, 2023, Microsoft researchers announced a new text-to-speech AI model called VALL-E that can closely simulate a person's voice when given a three-second audio sample. Once it learns a specific voice, VALL-E can synthesize audio of that person saying anything—and do it in a way that attempts to preserve the speaker's emotional tone.

You can read but probably not understand all about it by clicking below: https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2023/01/microsofts-new-ai-can-simulate-anyones-voice-with-3-seconds-of-audio/

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Here is how we could be harmed by VALL-E...

(Yea, in bullet point format, yea, 3 bullet points and yea, I’m in a rut.)

Ø A Presidential Candidate could be knocked our the race because the day before the election a recording could be broadcasted over the nightly news wherein the candidate says he has always dreamed about bringing about the destruction of the Good Ole USofA and once elected President he plans to do exactly that.

Ø The defendant in a murder trial could hear a recording of himself saying his is guilty as hell and he is glad he killed who he killed but who he did not kill.

Ø God (sounding a lot like Charlton Heston) saying the people who made it to heaven and much happier than he ever thought possible because they have all been given a copy of my Little Read Book (https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/foolishnessor-is-it-alexander-j-ortolano/1115522360) and they are reading it over and over (while they eat their Cannoli). He also said He is certain it is not the eating of the Cannoli that is making them eternally happy (but it sure helps).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Started To Tear Up With Emotion!

 

I was driving my car and I was approaching a Cemetery on the right side of the road. Just inside the fence I saw a sight that started tears of sadness and sympathy welling up into my eyes. Could it be what I thought I was seeing? ...

Ø There were two grief stricken mourners sitting in two canvas chairs next to a new grave which was still covered with flowers.

Ø They were slumped over as if their grief was too much for them to hold themselves upright.

Ø I had the urge to stop my car and climb the fence and give each of them a big hug.

Ø I wanted to tell them that all would be better in time.

Ø I wanted to tell them something like, “Chin Up. Your sorrow shows that your loss was great but it is also proof positive that the person you lost must have been very special!”

Then as I got real close all of my sympathy for these two jerks was gone in an instant.

I realized why they were really slumped over and I found myself saying to myself, “I sure hope their Recently Dearly Beloved Departed was distracted wherever he was and he was not seeing his Not Yet Dearly Departed "Beloved" both Looking At and Pecking at Their Smartphones!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I’m Going To Give You Almonds For Free!

 

Mr. Hershey said to Mrs. Hershey, “Catherine, the Hershey Bar is great but I need to make it better. I’ve decided the best way to do that is to Add Almonds to it. The people around the world have been very loyal to the Hershey Bar all these many years and I mean to reward them by inserting Almonds and not even charging for the Almonds. Yes, my dear, you heard me right, I’m adding Almonds and I am leaving the price at only 5 cents!”

My Dear Readers, this Blog Posting is not an attempt to make Milton Hershey look deceptive. It’s just a Fella Way to bring to you an Interesting Morsel of Chocolate History.

Having written the second paragraph above, I am admitting that the first paragraph above was completely made up by Fella. The next paragraph is completely true but it ties in quite nicely with the untrue first paragraph, don’t ya think?

The Interesting Morsel of Chocolate History...

The first Hershey’s chocolate bars with almonds were produced in 1908 because they were cheap to make. The nuts took the place of some of the more expensive milk chocolate, which meant Hershey’s could keep the price of the candy at a nickel.

Ain’t that a hoot!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The Second Bunch of Bolded Text above came from Mental Floss... https://www.mentalfloss.com/amazingfactgenerator/553536/first-hersheys-chocolate-bars-almonds-were-produced-1908-because-they-were-cheap-make

Mr. Anonymous Can Get You Fired!

Mr. Anonymous gets people fired often. Below is a Hodgepodge of excerpts from one single article about the Firing of Tucker Carlson. If you are glad he was fired, try your best to not concentrate on your gladness. This Blog Posting asks you to think about the fairness of taking such dramatic and life changing actions against anyone without identifying who the accuser is.

Mr. Anonymous remains Anonymous in this one single article over and over...

Ø ...people familiar with the matter said...

Ø ...one of the people said...

Ø ...the people said...

Ø ...according to a person familiar with the matter...

Ø ...Private messages sent by Mr. Carlson to colleagues...(Be careful what you say “in private”.)

Ø ...In a private text-message exchange about two weeks after Election Day...(Be careful what you say “in private”.)

Ø ...according to one document...

Ø ...Mr. Carlson wrote in another text message to a colleague, according to court documents...(Be careful what you say “in private”.)

Ø ...people familiar with the matter said...

Ø ...they said...

Ø ...people familiar with the matter said...

Ø ...Much of the communications were redacted in court documents but became known internally to senior Fox management, they said...(Fella, wonders if Mr. Anonymous had anything to do with these communications becoming known?)

Ø ...Mr. Carlson also complained to a colleague...(Be careful what you say “in private”.)

Are you still glad he was fired? I’m still going to ask you to think about the fairness of destroying any person’s livelihood based on Hearsay, Rumor, Half Truths or Even Outright Lies.

Think of it this way...How would you feel if the job lost was your job?

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I’m now going to do one of my 3 Bullet Point Examples. What if Dudley Do-Right lost his job because...

Ø  Complete lies about Dudley were left on the computer of Dudley’s boss by an identified someone who had an unbridled hatred of Canadian Cartoon Mounties who ride their horse while sitting backwards?

Ø Lies made up by a computer because someone told their laptop, “Make up believable lies about Dudley Do-Right.

Ø Deep Throat, late at night in that dark garage, handed the final damning goods on Richard Nixon to those 2 Washington Post Reporters. It was 10 years later the 2 Washington Post Reporters found out that Deep Throat was a terrible speller and he had misspelled “Richard Nixon” as “Dudley Do-Right”.

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This is the last excerpt. I held it to last because it is Special. It was one of many transgressions of Mr. Carlson listed. I can’t figure out why this accusation is listed anywhere in any list other than a list of Silly Things That Happened in Washington, D.C.:

“Mr. Carlson also lamented changes made by candy giant Mars Inc. to different M&M mascots, including the decision to switch the green M&M’s footwear from boots to sneakers.”

That does it! How could he? Tucker Carlson had to be stopped!

Fella Final Thought: Do we spend too much time discussing accusations and too little time discussing whether or not the accusations are true?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The sixth amendment, as part of the Bill of Rights, guarantees certain rights in all criminal prosecutions. One of the enumerated rights in the 6th Amendment is the right to be confronted with the witnesses against the accused. This right is known as the Confrontation Clause. The confrontation clause guarantees criminal defendants the opportunity to face the prosecution's witnesses in the case against them and dispute the witnesses' testimony. This guarantee applies to both statements made in court and statements made outside of court that are offered as evidence during trial.

I Did Not Write This Blog...Actually This Is Not A Blog

Below you will find a Not a Blog. Oh well, it may be a Blog but it is certainly not my kind of Blog about Foolishness, on the other hand, it is certainly about Foolishness, sad Foolishness.

I am at a loss for words but that is because I have already read the article below. After you have read the article below, and if you have any words left, you can comment on this Not a Blog or you can start a Blog of your own and see how long it takes you to catch up with my 252,189 Blog Views and my more than 1,800 Blog Postings.

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Here is the blog I did not write (highlighted in yellow)...

Woman Claims She Blinded Herself with Drain Cleaner to Fulfill Her Life-Long Dream of Being Disabled: 'I Should Have Been Blind from Birth'

"I went blind on purpose, but I don't feel it was a choice," Jewel Shuping said of her decision to blind herself

By Char Adams 

Published on October 1, 2015 04:45 PM

PHOTO: RUARIDH CONNELLAN/BARCROFT MEDIA /LANDOV

Ever since she was a little girl, Jewel Shuping dreamed of being blind. The North Carolina resident was born perfectly healthy, but she became so obsessed with losing her sight that at age 21, she took matters into her own hands.

Shuping claims that she had a psychologist pour drain cleaner in her eyes, then waited to seek medical attention. Afterwards, she gradually lost her eyesight and is now almost completely blind, she says.

“I really feel this is the way I was supposed to be born, that I should have been blind from birth,” the 30-year-old says.

Shuping has Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) – a rare condition causing able-bodied people to believe they are supposed to be disabled. She has long fantasized about being blind.

“When I was young, my mother would find me walking in the halls at night. When I was 3 or 4 years old,” Shuping recalls. “By the time I was 6 I remember that thinking about being blind made me feel comfortable.”

Shuping acquired a white cane in her teens and could read Braille fluently by the time she was 20. As the years progressed, so did her desire to be blind.

So, she decided to take matters into her own hands. In 2006, Shuping claims she found a sympathetic psychologist who agreed to pour drain cleaner into her eyes (the two first met for a few weeks to make sure Shuping was ready).

“It hurt, let me tell you. My eyes were screaming and I had some drain cleaner going down my cheek burning my skin,” Shuping says. “All I could think was, ‘I am going blind, it is going to be okay.’ ”

The two waited for 30 minutes before going to a hospital, where doctors worked to save Shuping’s eyesight. But the permanent damage was already done and, over the next six months, Shuping’s eyesight gradually faded.

Shuping has refused to name the psychologist who she says helped her blind herself.

“I was so happy, I felt that this was who I was supposed to be,” Shuping explains.

Shuping’s decision to blind herself put a strain on her relationship with her family. She initially told them she lost her eyesight in an accident, but upon learning the truth, Shuping’s mother and sister cut off contact with the her, she claims.

However, Shuping says she has never been happier and does not regret her decision – although she does not recommend her drastic method to others.

“Don’t go blind the way I did. I know there is a need, but perhaps someday there will be treatment for it,” Shuping said. “People with BIID get trains to run over their legs, freeze dry their legs or fall off cliffs to try to paralyze themselves.

“It’s very dangerous. And they need professional help.”

Now Shuping, who is studying education, wants to both raise public awareness of the condition and help other blind people live independent lives.

She admitted that she understands why some people would be angry about her deliberately blinding herself. But, she says, “the way I became disabled doesn’t really matter.”

“I went blind on purpose, but I don’t feel it was a choice.”

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This is the part of my Blog where I say something Incisive or Brilliant or Stupid but this time I don’t know what to say. Now you may understand why I said at the top of this Not a Blog Posting that I was at a Loss for Words.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Such a Shame!

November 9, 2020

Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim facing lawsuit in fatal crash

SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) — Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim is being sued over a fatal accident he was involved in nearly two years ago.

According to Syracuse.com, the family of Jorge Jimenez, who was struck and killed by an SUV driven by Boeheim in February 2019, alleged the coach’s actions were “negligent, reckless and wanton.” The four-page lawsuit was filed Monday in Onondaga County Supreme Court by attorney Terence O’Connor and seeks an unspecified settlement.

The accident occurred amid icy conditions on the night of Feb. 20, 2019, after a mid-week game in the Carrier Dome. The 51-year-old Jimenez was a passenger in a car that had skidded on the eastbound side of Interstate 690 heading out of the city and came to a stop perpendicular across two of three lanes. The victim had exited the disabled car and was struck and killed near the guardrail when Boeheim approached the scene and swerved to avoid hitting the car.

A police report said Boeheim was not driving “reckless, unreasonable or with gross negligence.” Onondaga County District Attorney William Fitzpatrick concluded that Boeheim was speeding, but the accident investigation by Syracuse police concluded that the crash could still have been deadly even if the Hall of Fame coach had been following the speed limit. There was no evidence that drugs or alcohol played a role and no charges were filed.

According to state law, the family had three years to file a lawsuit. A call from The Associated Press seeking comment from O’Connor was not immediately returned. According to Syracuse.com, Boeheim had not yet responded in court papers.

The 75-year-old coach declined comment through a university spokesman.

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They got the money!

April 26, 2023 the suit has reached an unspecified settlement.

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What was Boeheim guilty of since, “A police report said Boeheim was not driving ‘reckless, unreasonable or with gross negligence.’”?

Since this is the bottom, here is The Bottom Line...

It Looks To Fella That Boeheim Is Guilty Of Being Famous and Having Good Insurance

Such a Shame!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

It’s Me Again Writing About Masks Again

I’m not smart enough to have written this new attack on the wearing of COVID-19 Masks but these smart people are smart enough.

Click below if you want to read all about why wearing a mask is not a smart thing to do but why it can actually be Dangerous to the Wearer...

https://drrichswier.com/2023/04/25/study-wearing-face-masks-increase-risk-of-stillbirths-testicular-dysfunction-cognitive-deterioration-from-carbon-dioxide-buildup/

Some people will never be convinced that COVID-19 Masks give little to absolutely no protection from COVID-19. They probably lie awake at night thinking, “Thank heaven we have ears. If we did not have ears, we would all be dead!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

All Progress Ain’t Progress

The above Subject could have been said differently. It could have been...

How to Write a Term Paper in Three Minutes

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is getting a lot of press coverage recently. It is being praised and it is being panned. There is no stopping AI but believe this...We need to pay attention to the many ways that are being found and will be found to influence and change our world in a negative way.

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GPT Chatbot: Advanced AI Chat

ChatGPT is an AI-powered language model developed by OpenAI. It has been trained on a massive amount of text data from the internet and can generate human-like text responses to a given prompt. It can answer questions, converse on a variety of topics, and generate creative writing pieces.

Fella just wrote a short Term Paper about a Foolish Request that ChatGPT should have said to Fella, “Don’t waste my time on such a Silly Scenario. I have better things to do than comply with your request.”

I may have offended ChatGPT but I did get an A on my Term Paper (which I did not write).

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My Request to ChatGPT...Write a term paper by Aristotle where he explains how his view about bikini togas differs from the views of Plato.

 

My term paper not written by me is...

Introduction:

The Greek philosopher Aristotle was a student of Plato and his work showcases the development of thought from Plato's pure idealism to more practical and empirical approaches. In this term paper, I will explore Aristotle’s views on bikini togas and how they differ from Plato's views.

Background:

Plato, Aristotle's mentor, was known for his idealistic views on politics and society. Plato believed that people should live in perfect harmony with each other, and the society should be a reflection of the perfect world. In his Republic, Plato outlined what he believed to be the ideal society, including the clothing that should be worn.

Plato's Views on Bikini Togas:

In the Republic, Plato had described the ideal society where people would live in perfect harmony with each other. This required that each person should have only what they need, and that included clothing. Plato believed that clothing should be simple and practical, and he proposed for both men and women to wear a togalike garment, which covered the body from the waist down while leaving the upper part of the body exposed. However, this garment has also been termed “a bikini toga” (Jorgenson, 2016).

Aristotle's Views on Bikini Togas:

Unlike Plato, Aristotle took a more pragmatic view of clothing and society. Aristotle believed that clothing was not just for practical purposes but also for aesthetic ones. Unlike Plato, Aristotle believed in dressing for the occasion and that clothing should be comfortable while covering the body appropriately. He did not support the notion of a bikini toga and believed that people should wear clothing that was appropriate for their gender.

In his works, Aristotle argued that gender differences were inherent and clothing should reflect those differences. He believed in the concept of modesty and that clothing should not draw attention to a person's physical appearance. Aristotle believed that clothing should be tailored to complement the person's body types and should not be revealing, as that could be interpreted as immodest.

Comparison of Aristotle and Plato's Views:

Plato and Aristotle had different views on clothing and its role in society. Plato's idealistic views were centered on a perfect world where clothing should be practical and simple, while Aristotle was more pragmatic in his approach and saw clothing as a way of expressing individuality and self-expression.

Unlike Plato's view, Aristotle saw gender differences as inherent, and clothing should reflect those differences in society. While Plato believed that people should have only what they need, Aristotle believed in the concept of appropriate clothing for specific occasions.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, Aristotle and Plato had different views about clothing and the role it plays in society. While Plato believed in dressing for practicality, Aristotle believed in dressing for the occasion and that clothing should reflect gender differences. Aristotle's views on bikini togas differ significantly from Plato's view and show how the two philosophers had different approaches towards clothing and its role in society. Aristotle's views were more pragmatic and a reflection of his real-world approach to life, which contrasts with Plato's idealistic world view.

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There was a time when a student would have said, “I do not want credit for achieving something I did not achieve”.

Today too many students would say, “I got an A! I got an A! I got an A! Now I can go operate on people’s brains!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Fella Opinion: They (Whoever They Are) Are Not Being Fair To The Punching Kid

First, let’s look at The Punching Kid in action...

Click Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMabjgzpQGI

Next, let’s look at an actual sentence out one of the umpteen articles written about one of the most awful incidents in the history of a great sport, High School Wrestling...

“The suspect’s family assisted in the investigation and vowed to remain cooperative, according to police.”

You are not The Noticer, therefore, you did not notice what I noticed. I noticed the word “suspect”. What the heck do they mean by using the word “suspect”? Suspect would mean that there is some doubt about who the Punching Kid was.

There is no doubt about who the Punching Kid was! What?! Did you really just say you are in doubt as to who the Punching Kid was? Wow! Fella is of the opinion that for that indefensible opinion from here on out you ought to be called The UnNoticer.

Let me try and make it as plain as I can make it plain...

The Punching Kid is not the one on the ground holding his busted up nose.

Does that help?

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With reference to the Subject of this Blog Posting, are you wondering why I content that the Punching Kid is not being treated fairly?

I’m in a Make It Plain Mode today so let me Make This Plain...

It’s the Smudge that they (whoever they are) put on the Punching Kid's head. How in the heck is he expected to wrestle with a big smudge on his head? Have you ever had a smudge on your head? It is a pain! It is very hard to see out of a head smudge! It makes you want to lash out. I contend that lash out is pretty much the same as punch out.

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Forget the Foolishness of the above paragraph. Seriously, why did they (whoever they are) put the Smudge there to start with? Do they really think it is unfair to have the video identify him as him?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Computer Knows All But The Computer Often Does Not Share Any Of The All It Knows Until It Has Had Its Way With Us

 

Da Computer Knows All

We’ve all been there…

• We need help from, yourcallisimportanttous.com.
• We make a phone call to yourcallisimportanttous.com knowing we are about to be subjected to Computer Confusion.
• The smart computer we are connected with is really smart and knows all about us.
• We hear things like...
  >Hello, Fella, I see you are calling from a phone in your profile.
  >You called about your Camouflaged Goulashes last Thursday. Is that the same product you are calling about today?
  >How is your dog Ruffles doing since he had to be rushed to the Veterinarian after he swallowed those 11 Legos?
• The smart computer asks us questions in order to direct us to the representative best suited to help us.
• As the smart computer prompts us feed it information like...Our Customer Number, Our Account Number, Our Name, Our Mother’s Maiden Name, What Our Mother’s Maiden Name Would Have Been If She Had Married That Sleazy Guy She Dated In High School, Our Address (If we leave out Our Zip Code, we are reprimanded and told to always include the Zip Code).
• We are then put on hold ignore for an extended period and subjected to the worst music we have ever heard.
• We hold the receiver away from our ear and wait for Mujibar to come on the line eager to prove that Our Call Is Really Important To Them.

Now Mujibar is helping us but the Awful continues…

• He starts talking very quickly in a low tone so you can’t understand anything he is saying.
• He sounds offended if you ask him to speak up.
• He sounds offended if you ask him to repeat anything he says.
• No matter what you tell him your problem is, he says, “I can certainly help you with that today”.
• He then asks you questions which prove he did not understand what you said your problem was even though he just said, “I can certainly help you with that today”.
• Then he starts asking you for all the Identification and Security Information you already fed to the smart computer.
• When asked for your name you say…“My name is Fella”.
• Mujibar asks…“Is that first letter a Q or a Y?”
• You say…“No it’s an F”.
• He says…“Did you say P as in Paul?”
• You respond, “It’s an F as in F”.
• Then you have to go through each letter of your name using the Phonetic Alphabet.
• At some point you begin to wonder if you are Lou Costello and you are being persecuted by Bud Abbott.
• You begin picturing Mujibar sitting at his console laughing at you while he drinks a series of pink refreshments with little umbrellas in them.
• On every call you are certain to be switched to another representatives named Mujibar.
• The new Mujibar makes you repeat all of the above verifications again because none of what you told the smart computer or the first Mujibar is available to the Second Mujibar on his computer screen (It could be that he forgot to switch out of his Solitaire Game).
• My sources tell me that these Mujibars live in constant fear of losing their jobs and/or having their first born taken away from them if the callers are not switched at least twice on each call.
• After you give the Mujibars all of the verification information, you come to realize that all the Mujibars you have been talking to are actually computers and, worst of all, your current Mujibar tells you that yourcallisimportanttous.com is closed at this time and you have to call back during Normal Business Hours.
• You hang up the phone wondering why the Mujibars had not told you at the beginning of the call that yourcallisimportanttous.com was closed before it asked you all those Verification Questions.
• It’s sort of like, in the interest of full disclosure, transparency or just to be mean the computer has been programmed to not tell you yourcallisimportanttous.com is closed unless (for your own protection) it Knows You Know Who You Are.

Don’t you hunger for the old days when you called the Mom and Pop Widgets Company and Mom answered the phone and you asked if they had Camouflaged Widgets in stock and she immediately came back at you saying, "Yes we do. We have 27 but only 5 are in your size"?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Interesting Tidbit Frank Sinatra

The Day Frank Sinatra Died...

May 14, 1998, Sinatra was rushed to the hospital after suffering another heart attack. The ambulance carrying him made it to Los Angeles’ Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in record time because the finale of Seinfeld was airing on television, and millions of people were at home watching it.

Smartfella

 

No Dogs Allowed...Or are they?

A recent Blog Posting of mine made it quite plain that I don’t like Starbucks anymore. Several years ago Starbucks made the news for weeks about the manager of one of their stores who dared to not allow non-customers to use the bathrooms in the store where she was the manager.

She was fired before she could say, “Yea but...”.

Remember I am The Noticer. Within days of the above happening I was walking in a local strip mall and I noticed a sign on a store that read, Restrooms Are For Customer Use Only. Before I could think to myself, This Must Not Be a Starbucks Store, I saw that the very next store had the same sign displayed. My Noticing kicked into high gear and I Noticed that 4 out of five stores in a row had other similar such signs and none of them was a Starbucks Store.

I quickly figured it out. The people who used to make No Dogs Allowed signs had started making Restrooms Are for Customer Use Only signs and they had been selling a whole heck of a lot of those signs.

This is American Ingenuity in action!

************

The Dogs Are People Too Movement has kicked into high gear. Have you been to a Hotel/Motel lately? A few years ago I was staying in a Ritz-Carlton and the dogs were all over that high priced hotel. There was no extra charge (you bet ya the Ritz Carlton knows a lot about Extra Charging) for mistakenly thinking I was about to fall asleep before being awoken by the sound of a dog barking outside my door at 11pm.

I have not stayed in a Motel 6 in decades but I’m wondering if they now have a sign on the wall behind the check in counter that reads...No People Allowed.

Did you just say to yourself, “He can’t be serious”? Yes I am serious and I have researched this National Doggie Take Over. This happening is being funded by Dead People. That’s because so many people have started leaving their money to their pets. These now-wealthy Dogs, Cats, Gold Fish, etc. may not know about how to handle money but they do know that they don’t live that long and they are desperate to solidify their control as quickly as possible for future generations of them.

I’m going to stop now because I think I am out of control. I do plan on going to a Motel 6 and sticking my head inside the front door to see if my suspicions are warranted (provided there is not a sign on the front door that reads, “People Are Not Allowed To Stick Their Heads Inside This Door”).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Remembering the Safety Pin

Safety Pins were a part of my youth. We used to use them a lot. Probably the most often used a lot was fastening cloth baby diapers. Then, as now, it was important that baby diapers not fall off. We don’t use Safety Pins any longer and baby diapers are hanging in there (actually on there). How is it they hang in (actually on) there without a Safety Pin? It’s because of the Magic of Velcro.

Now for a Kennedy Question...

Ø People who are into talking about the Kennedy Assassination will often say, “Do you remember where you were when you heard President Kennedy Had Been Shot?”

Ø I’m talking about Velcro. So I’ll ask you, Do you remember the first time you saw Velcro?

Yes, I know your First Time Velcro Encounter just flashed through your mind’s eye. My mind’s eye is full of such useless information and I’m about to tell you all about my First Time Velcro Encounter. I can just feel your excitement!

My first time was the first time I sat into a helicopter in Vietnam. Because we were all intent on getting back to the Good Ole USofA for the next Football Season we took precautions like keeping our heads down and ducking.

One of those precautions was the Chicken Plate. If you were not fortunate enough to go to Vietnam, the serving line at Piccadilly Cafeteria just flashed into your mind. That’s not the kind of Chicken Plate I’m talking about.

Vietnam Chicken Plate Bullets...

Ø Ducking your head or trying to make yourself small was not a lot of protection.

Ø A Chicken Plate was a large chunk of heavy medal about an inch and a half thick that some of us strapped to the front of our chests.

Ø This prevented getting shot from the front right into the chest.

Ø It did nothing for the rest of the body, but in such circumstances, you took what you could get.

Ø The Chicken Plate was held in place by some Very Heavy Duty Velcro.

Ø I was amazed by my first encounter with Velcro.

Ø I fastened it and unfasten it over and over.

Ø I was captivated by the Magic of Velcro.

The first time I wrapped myself with a Chicken Plate I thought, “Wow! This is great! I am going to get to do this every day for a year. This is going to be great!” The prior sentence is probably an exaggeration. Actually, it is probably an outright lie.

Why was it called a Chicken Plate? That’s because not all pilots wore them. Those of us who did wear them were the “Chickens”.

We were OK with that cuz we Chickens thought we were improving our chances of going Home to Roost.

I don’t know what the Non-Chicken Plate Wearing Guys were thinking.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Someone Out There Is Capable Of Being More Foolish Than Fella

This was posted on the Internet...

BTW, the rotor blades of a helicopter rotate one way in the northern hemisphere and the opposite way in the southern hemisphere due to the Coriolis Effect. This makes flying across the equator in a helicopter a bit tricky.

Some Fella-Like Person picked up on this and posted this comment...

“The usual approach is for northern hemisphere helicopters to fly upside down when they cross the equator into the southern hemisphere, in order to reduce the Coriolis Stress on the pilots (*). The problem is a little simpler for dual rotor craft, e.g. Osprey or Chinook, which merely have to fly backwards.

(*) The pilots have to remember which way they flipped over when they crossed into the Southern Hemisphere, because when they cross back to the Northern Hemisphere it is important to have a net winding number of zero. If that isn’t done properly, then everyone on the aircraft who is right handed will become left handed (and vice versa). There are unsubstantiated rumors about the effects upon sexual preference, but I’m not going to dignify them further.”

Ain’t that beautiful!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Everyone knows that water going down a toilet spins Counter Clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and Clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere. This is because of the Coriolis Effect. Hey, everyone, you are wrong...

There is an urban legend that water in toilets spins in opposite directions in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres because of the Coriolis Effect. But that isn't true—a toilet bowl is too small for the effect to be observed. Instead, other factors like the shape of the toilet bowl and the direction that the water enters are largely responsible for how the flushing water moves.

I Know Nothing!

If you want to be notified when I publish, I can add you to my Notification List (there are now 64 people on the list).

I don’t publish every day. 

I would hate for you to get all excited & go to my blog only to find out I had not published that day.

No problem if you later decide that you have had enough & you don’t want any more notifications. 

Just send me message to remove you & I will. 

Send Request to Be Added or Removed To: zooombuggy-forii@yahoo.com

I can handle rejection. 

You won’t be the first.