Common Sense Improvements To The Game Of Soccer

 

 

Anonymous Says: I wish I could go to the bathroom more often!

 

 

From the Round of Sixteen onward Spain beat Portugal, Paraguay, Germany and Netherlands all by the exact same score of 1 to 0 ... Whoopie Doo!

Now the The World Cup has come and gone it is time to consider how to ... Liven Up The Game of Soccer.

I’m ready to take on this challenge. I’m sitting here pecking out this posting with the able assistance of Jack Nicholson and he just told me that you should not be too quick to say you are also ready to address this thorny issue unless, You Can Handle The Truth!

Here is what should be done to the game of Soccer...

• The Spoil Sport ... I ask you what is the biggest hindrance to livening up Soccer? I am certain that each and every one of you just said out loud, “The Goalie”. The fix is as simple as saying out loud what the problem is ... Get Rid of the Goalie!
• The Goal Itself ... The other obvious problem. The darn things are too small. We need scoring! Make the Goal twice as long and twice as high as it presently is.
• More Scoring ... How exciting can a final score of 1 to 0 be? Removing the Goalie and enlarging the Goals ought to go a long way towards soccer fans getting to see some 68 to 67 final scores.
• No Time Outs ... Ever wonder where the riots come from? If you combine a large mass of beer drinking males with the inability to go to the rest room, you have the makings of a one heck of a riot. You just know they are not going to leave during the middle of the match. They would never forgive themselves if they missed that day’s goal.
• The Tie ... Jack Nicholson just said, “A tie is like kissing your sister”. Some of these World Cup matches ended in a tie and the fans went crazy because they had “won”. Vince Lombardi, if he were alive, probably turned over in his grave when he saw those fans celebrating their 0 to 0 “victory”.

Picture this. A sweat drenched and exhilarated Soccer Fan on his knees with his hands folded, looking up to heaven and thanking God saying,

All my life I have dreamed that my team would play to a tie in a

World Cup Soccer Match!

Would I kid u?