Saturday, April 08, 2023

Someone Out There Is Capable Of Being More Foolish Than Fella

This was posted on the Internet...

BTW, the rotor blades of a helicopter rotate one way in the northern hemisphere and the opposite way in the southern hemisphere due to the Coriolis Effect. This makes flying across the equator in a helicopter a bit tricky.

Some Fella-Like Person picked up on this and posted this comment...

“The usual approach is for northern hemisphere helicopters to fly upside down when they cross the equator into the southern hemisphere, in order to reduce the Coriolis Stress on the pilots (*). The problem is a little simpler for dual rotor craft, e.g. Osprey or Chinook, which merely have to fly backwards.

(*) The pilots have to remember which way they flipped over when they crossed into the Southern Hemisphere, because when they cross back to the Northern Hemisphere it is important to have a net winding number of zero. If that isn’t done properly, then everyone on the aircraft who is right handed will become left handed (and vice versa). There are unsubstantiated rumors about the effects upon sexual preference, but I’m not going to dignify them further.”

Ain’t that beautiful!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Everyone knows that water going down a toilet spins Counter Clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and Clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere. This is because of the Coriolis Effect. Hey, everyone, you are wrong...

There is an urban legend that water in toilets spins in opposite directions in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres because of the Coriolis Effect. But that isn't true—a toilet bowl is too small for the effect to be observed. Instead, other factors like the shape of the toilet bowl and the direction that the water enters are largely responsible for how the flushing water moves.

I Know Nothing!

If you want to be notified when I publish, I can add you to my Notification List (there are now 64 people on the list).
I don’t publish every day. 
I would hate for you to get all excited & go to my blog only to find out I had not published that day.
No problem if you later decide that you have had enough & you don’t want any more notifications. 
Just send me message to remove you & I will. 
Send Request to Be Added or Removed To: zooombuggy-forii@yahoo.com
I can handle rejection. 
You won’t be the first.




Friday, April 07, 2023

New Source of Income for Our Federal Government


The FAA investigates unruly-passenger incidents that airline crews report to the agency. The 2021 and 2022 data below reflects all cases the FAA investigated that cited violations of one or more FAA regulations or federal laws.

Year

2021

2022

Unruly Passenger Reports

5,981

2,456

Investigations Initiated

1,113

831

Enforcement Actions Initiated

350

567

Mask-Related Incidents

4,290

N/A*

FAA Proposed Fines

$5,000,000

$8,449,543

*The dropping of mask mandates during 2022 is responsible for the significant decline in Unruly Passenger Reports.

In 2021, the FAA proposed $5 million in fines against unruly passengers. Even with a lot less Unruly Passenger Reports in 2022, the Fines went up significantly. This is because the FAA saw the pot of gold in Unruliness and jumped the Fine Per Incident from $25,000 to $37,000.

Fella Advice...Hold your tempers in check because one incident can result in multiple violations. If you lose it and call a D**k Head a D**k Head and the D**k Head says, “Your mama wears army boots” and you say, “Your mama is a D**k Head too”, you may just have spent $74,000.

With all this increased income coming in, it looks like our Rulers will now be able to lower our taxes...Or will they be able to?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Did they not used to sing about the Friendly Skies?...

(Fella removed the hyperlink from these 4 stories because he thinks you have better things to do than read about crazy people.)

Ø  Shocked Passenger Kicked Off Flight for Argument in Starbucks Before She Boarded Her Flight

Ø  Passenger Allegedly Assaulted Flight Attendant & Air Marshal on Delta Flight

Ø  Woman Punches Flight Attendants & Pulls Hair Until Passenger Subdues Her

Ø  Delta Air Lines Passengers Fight Over Wearing Mask on Christmas Eve FlightØ   

************

Tired Of Going To Foolishness...Or Is It? Web Site Only To Find Out That A New Blog Posting Has Not Been Published Yet.

If You Will Send Fella Your Email Address, He Will Put You On The Foolishness Notification List.

If Later You Want Off, No Problem. Fella Can Handle Rejection.

Send Request to Be Added or Removed To zooombuggy-forii@yahoo.com


Thursday, April 06, 2023

Not All Notes on Car Windows Are Put There By Wise Guys

OK I admit it I am guilty of trying to mold all drivers around me into my image and likeness.

I appear to be surrounded by drivers of cars that don’t seem to be capable of Parking Their Cars between the Parking Spot Lines in parking lots. This seems to a crusader like me to be Grossly Careless, Exceedingly Stupid and Not Nice.

I am a Noticer of Epic Proportions who can’t help but want to do something about this. Years ago I took the bull by the horns and I started doing this...

Ø I printed up business sized cards on my computer with this message on them...

Ø When I saw a car which had been parked by someone who was not in my image and likeness beyond the lines of his parking spot I stuck one of these cards into the side of the driver’s window.

Ø I walked away confident that when the driver returned he would have thanked me (if I were there) for my efforts to help him be a Better Parking Person.

I know everyone can’t be as considerate as I am but I always try to do what I can to help others improve.

************

Yesterday I got a note stuck in my car window. I know you are dying to know what kind of note I got so I will not keep you waiting...

I have a Car License Plate issued by the State of Georgia that tells the world that I served in the Vietnam War. It appears that a Vietnamese Fellow Citizen saw that plate and went to all the trouble of handwriting a note for me to read when I returned. It was not a Wise Guy note like mine. It was a Nice Note...

Wow! See what I mean about nice!

I sure hope he was not a “victim” of one of my Wise Guy Parking Spot Notes at any time in the past.

I probably should not worry about that because I feel confident that all Nice People certainly know how to fit their cars between the lines. It just not that hard...Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Tuesday, April 04, 2023

Are We “Progressing” To The Point In The Good Ole USofA’s History Where A Person Can Make Us Change Policies, Directions, Laws and Flavors In Baskin and Robbins Ice Cream Parlors?

Yea, I am aware that this is the third Blog Posting in a row about the subject of Banned Books. Yea, I know that Fella has been known to say, “If the horse is dead, get off the horse”. OK, I’ll listen to me but only after posting this one last blog on this sad subject...Or will it be the last one?

************

I thought you might overlook the words “A Person” in the title of this Blog Posting so I tried to underline them but BlogSpot does not underline words in the Subject. That way there would have been no way you could have overlooked them. You are going to have to underline them in your mind's eye. I sure hope your mind's eye is not shut today.

Mark Twain, John Steinbeck, Agatha Christie and Harper Lee might be four of America’s most respected authors, but some of their books have made it onto a list of the country’s 100 most frequently banned and challenged books during the last decade. This is awful but don’t think it is the only times this Literary Crime has happened or will happen now that it has happened.


************

“A” is a Big Word!

To Kill a Mockingbird and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn have been suspended from the curriculum in some Virginia schools, after a parent complained about the use of racial slurs.


There you have it. We are being ruled by the word “a” as in “A Person”, “A Parent” or “A School Board Member”. It’s a takeoff on the term used in Sports “One And Done” or is it “One And Undone”? It’s sort of like...Why do we need more than one if we have one?

Fella sees through all of this and has a way out all of this. If we have “a parent” object to doing it this way before we go to all the trouble to change it to that way what we need do is get another “a parent” to object to doing it that way and we will have an offset to the first parent by the second parent and we can just stay the way we were before the first “a parent” objected.

I am well aware that another “a parent” could object to the second “a parent’s” objection to the first “a parent’s” objection and so on but remember the name of this Blog is Foolishness...Or Is It. I contend that my foolishness is as important as the all of these “a parent’s” foolishness.

If we could get all the clear thinking judges (that may not be many left) to read this Blog Posting and see its “wisdom” and then start saying, “Get out of my courtroom” we would all be better off.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The Bible joined the ranks of the most challenged books for the first time this year. According to the American Library Association the challenges to the Bible centered on the fact that the Bible has a ‘religious viewpoint’.

Lagniappe Another: According to the American Literary Association between January 1 and August 31, 2022, American Literary Alliance (ALA) documented 681 attempts to ban or restrict library resources, and 1,651 unique titles were targeted. Books that caught my eye:

3. 1984

5. Diary of a Young Girl (Anne Frank)

6.  To Kill a Mockingbird

9. Mein Kampf (I was afraid that this one was not on the list.)

11. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

21. The Holy Bible

22. The Quran

45. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (U.S.)

47.  The Call of the Wild by Jack London (U.S.)

58. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White (U.S.)

69. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (U.S.).

70. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (U.S.)

95. A Farewell To Arms by Ernest Hemingway

96. A Study In Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (U.S.)

97. Black Beauty by Anna Sewell (South Africa)

98. For Whom The Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway (Spain)

99. Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence (U.K.)

Friday, March 31, 2023

They Changed the “W-Word”. That’s Progress Too...Or is it?

You just read my last Blog Posting about the Changes that were made to Mark Twain’s Literary Masterpieces.

In that Blog Posting I told you that that was not the end of the Changing...

“If you think Mark Twain’s works being changed is the end of the changing and now the change people are satisfied and there will be no more changing, think again...”

Then I gave you a link that showed you, believe it or not, they (whoever “they” are) bowdlerized Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird.

Wikipedia has this to say about Harper Lee’s book...

To Kill a Mockingbird is a novel by the American author Harper Lee. It was published in 1960 and was instantly successful. In the United States, it is widely read in high schools and middle schools. To Kill a Mockingbird has become a classic of modern American literature, winning the Pulitzer Prize.

(Fella did the underlining.)

Hey, Wikipedia, it makes no never mind what you think they (whoever “they” are) messed around with Harper Lee’s carefully chosen words also.

************

There is a lot of craziness going on in our foolish world but you probably just said to yourself, “Well, at least, Agatha Christie is safe from this changing for the sake of changing” craziness but, if you did say that, you were wrong.

Here is a silly change to Agatha Christie’s words that Fella wants to zero in on...

In A Caribbean Mystery, the amateur detective’s appreciation of a West Indian hotel worker’s “lovely white teeth” has been removed.

I give you 3 guesses as to which of the 3 word is the “offensive” word and I’ll give you 2 hints. It ain’t “lovely”. It ain’t “teeth”. You got it! It’s “White”!

What kind of Mental Midgets thinks that every use of the word “white” is racist? I don’t know what kind of Mental Midgets they are but I do know that they are Genuine Certified Grade A Mental Midgets.

Do they really think that the word “white” is intrinsically racist? Yes they do but no they don’t. That’s because “intrinsically” has been replaced by “systemically”. They just love the word “systemically”. Many of them don’t know what it means but they do know they love it.

Allow Fella to comment on this Foolishness. If I make fun of some of this while I am commenting on it, it is systemically intentional. Yea, I know this last use of “systemically” is a stretch...

Ø What color are a Person of Color’s teeth? The answer is White.

Ø Is a Person of Color’s teeth Intrinsically White or are they Systemically White? The answer is Yes They Are.

Ø How many Persons of Color would like their teeth to be a Color Other Than White? The answer is None.

If you are not a Person of Common Sense, stop reading this Blog immediately. You should not have been allowed in here to begin with.

If you are a Person of Common Sense, answer this question: What is wrong with calling a Person of Color’s White Teeth White?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Genesis 11:7 “Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech.”

Thursday, March 30, 2023

They Changed the “N-Word” To “Slave”. That’s Progress...Or is it?

 

NOTE: This article is more than 12 years old...

Benedicte Page

Wed 5 Jan 2011

New Huckleberry Finn Edition Censors 'N-Word'

Alabama publisher says expurgation of more than 200 'hurtful epithets' will counter 'pre-emptive censorship' that has seen 

Mark Twain's classic dropped from curricula

A new US edition of Mark Twain's classic novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is to be published with a notable language alteration: all instances of the offensive racial term "nigger" are to be expunged.

The word occurs more than 200 times in Huckleberry Finn, first published in 1884, and its 1876 precursor, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, which tell the story of the boys' adventures along the Mississippi river in the mid-19th century. In the new edition, the word will be replaced in each instance by "slave". The word "injun" will also be replaced in the text.

************

"The Times They Are a-Changin”...Years ago running a red Light was a rare thing. Now I see red lights being run every day.

Years ago if someone said, “I Object” very likely the response would be, “Get Over It”. Now “I Object”, and it’s even more powerful companion “I’m Offended”, makes everyone who hears these words stop and immediately become uncomfortable and apologetic.

If the Slavic People object to the change referred to in the Subject of this Blog Posting will there immediately be a desperation search to find a new substitute word?

Origin of word “slave”...

Etymology. From Middle English sclave, from Old French sclave, from Medieval Latin sclāvus (“slave”), from Late Latin Sclāvus (“Slav”), because Slavs were often forced into slavery in the Middle Ages. 

************

Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin have long been referred to as Classics but now they are under attack.

Fella thinks it is a shame some feel they have a right to change what others create, and after they are done changing, they say, “Yes, we changed it but it is still the same”. It’s not. It’s changed.

I may be stumbling over my words here but this Doctor Lady below handles her words a lot better and makes me want to say, “Yea, that’s what I meant”...

But the idea of changing the language in the novel in order to boost its popularity is still viewed with bafflement in many quarters. Dr Sarah Churchwell, senior lecturer in US literature and culture at the University of East Anglia, said the development made her "incandescent" with anger. "The fault lies with the teaching, not the book. You can't say 'I'll change Dickens so it is compatible with my teaching method'. Twain's books are not just literary documents but historical documents, and that word is totemic because it encodes all of the violence of slavery. The point of the book is that Huckleberry Finn starts out racist in a racist society, and stops being racist and leaves that society. These changes mean the book ceases to show the moral development of his character. They have no merit and are misleading to readers. The whole point of literature is to expose us to different ideas and different eras, and they won't always be nice and benign. It's dumbing down."

(Fella did the underlining above.)

************

If you think Mark Twain’s works being changed is the end of the changing because now the Change People are satisfied and there will be no more changing, think again...

NOTE: This article is more than 6 years old...


Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If I knew this word existed, I would have used it...Or would I have?...

bowdlerize

transitive verb

1.   To remove material that is considered offensive or objectionable from (a book, for example); expurgate.

2.   To expurgate, as a book, by omitting or modifying the parts considered offensive; to remove morally objectionable parts; -- said of literary texts.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition.

 


Saturday, March 25, 2023

Unfamiliar Talk Show Guest Are Commontators

 

No, I did not misspell the word “Commentators”. That is an On Purpose Misspelling. I’m not talking about “Commentators”. I’m talking about “Commontators”. I know what I am doing...Or do I?

What do all guests on News Shows that you don’t recognize have in common that makes them Commontators not Commentators? It’s the fact that they have all just written a book.

Even the Commentators who you are familiar with have all written a book at sometime in the past. It can be the distant past but it will still be mentioned in their Thanks for Coming Introduction and again in their Thanks for Coming Dismissal.

I tried to trick one of the major news channels into having me on as a guest. It didn’t go so well. My problem is I am too honest. I may need to hire a publicist to lie for me. Here’s how it did go (in bullet point format)...

Ø Me: Hello, my name is Smartfella and I would love to be a Guest Commontator on one of your Nightly News Shows.

Ø He: Well, Mr. Fella, have you written a book?

Ø Me: Yes, I wrote the Little Read Book.

Ø He: Do you mean you wrote the same book that Mao Zedong wrote?

Ø He: I find that hard to believe.

Ø Me: No, you don’t understand.

Ø Me: I did not write Mao’s Little Red Book.

Ø Me: I wrote Fella’s Little Read Book.

Ø Me: There is a big difference Little Red and Little Read and actually Mao’s book is Red and my book is Green.

Click!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Friday, March 24, 2023

My Plan to Put Starbucks Out of Business

 

My plan to put Starbucks out of business has been in effect for years now but it has been hard for me to tell if it was working or not because of the COVID-19 Pandemic. Starbucks went berserk over COVID...

Ø They shut down their stores.

Ø They depended on their Drive-Through Windows to keep the company going until our Rulers in Washington, D.C. told us the Pandemic was all gone or they told us we were all dead.

Ø They required their Drive-Thru Skeleton Staff to hold their breath in one hour increments.

Ø Any employee who was caught breathing during their Hold Your Breath Hour had their aprons ripped off of their ungrateful bodies and were fired on the spot.

Ø When the OK To Breath Now App on their phones told them it was Ok to breathe, they were allowed to rush outside and suck in as much air as they could for 2 minutes before they were allowed to re-enter the store (their app automatically reset for another hour as they re-entered the store).

My Plan Was Simple. I Decided That, If I Stopped Drinking Their Coffee, They Would Surely Go Out Of Business.

A couple of days ago I came to a full undrstanding of the effectiveness of my Put ‘Em Out Of Business Plan (in bullet point format)...

Ø I brought my wife to a doctor’s office across town.

Ø While driving to the doctor’s office I was amazed to see that there were very few cars on the expressway.

Ø I became baffled and becoming baffled is not something I am prone to becoming.

Ø After the initial consultation with the doctor, I was told they would need to do whatever they needed to do to my wife without my help and I should get out of their way so they could do it.

Ø The doctor said the to do’ing would take about 2 hours and she told me where there was a nearby Starbucks where I could spend my 2 out of the way hours.

Ø I had not been in a Starbucks in several years because, you may remember, I am in the process of putting them out of business.

Ø I decided to make this one time exception to my boycott and go buy a cup.

Ø I went in, bought a cup and sat down against the far wall which happened to be glass and was right next to the Drive Up Line leading up to the Drive Up Window.

Ø As I was sipping I started to notice the line of cars in the Drive Up Line leading to the Drive Up Window.

Ø It was very long.

Ø It never got short.

Ø If it did shorten up by 1 or 2 cars, by my next sip it grew by 3 or 4.

Ø It was amazing!

And before I know what was dawning on me it dawned on me that this is why there were so few cars on the expressway! All the missing cars were in the Drive Up Lines for the Dive Up Windows at all the Starbucks Stores all over the Atlanta Metropolitan Area!

My Plan to Put Starbucks Out of Business Was A Dismal Failure!

I started to formulate a plan of action to give my plan to put Starbucks out of Business a shot in the arm but I quickly realized that it was a waste of time. The looks of desperation, panic and confusion on the faces of the sweating Bucksters as they pulled up to the Clown’s Mouth to plead into the mouth their orders convinced me that there was no stopping them.

Starbucks had won my war against them!

I knew I did not have within me what it took to stop the Bucksters from begging the clown’s mouth to please give them their Morning Venti with a Shot in the Dark.

When I was younger I used to think things like That’s No Hill For A Climber. Now, as soon as I start thinking I ought to climb up a mountain, I quickly shift my gaze to the nearest Mole Hill. Heck, I’m 81 years old and Mole Hills are about all I can handle and Starbucks ain’t a Mole Hill!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Don’t Mess With Starbucks!


Monday, March 20, 2023

More Than You Want To Read (Certainly More Than I Want To Read) About COVID Masks

It may be more that we want to read but that does not mean it is not really important to read. Oh goody, Fella has provided you with the Overview from a Humongous Article entitled, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Masks, and the Deadly Falsehoods Surrounding Them.

Please read the article’s shorter overview that Fella pasted below but the link to the entire article is also provided at the very end of this Blog Posting, if you want to spend much of the rest of this day Reading All About It...

Overview

In a terse essay titled “Science and Dictatorship,” Albert Einstein warned that “Science can flourish only in an atmosphere of free speech.” And on his deathbed, Einstein cautioned, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted in important affairs.”

With reckless disregard for both of those principles, powerful government officials and big tech executives have corrupted or suppressed the central scientific facts about face masks. The impacts of this extend far beyond the issue of masks and have caused widespread harm and countless deaths.

Despite the fog of contradictory claims and changing government guidelines, dozens of scientific journals have published consistent data that establish these facts:

  • Covid-19 is mainly spread by microscopic aerosols generated by breathing, talking, sneezing, and coughing. The vast bulk of these infectious aerosols easily penetrate common masks because 90% of the aerosols are less than 1/17th the size of pores in the finest surgical masks, and less than 1/80th the size of pores in the finest cloth masks.
  • Aerosols are light enough to stay airborne for minutes or hours, and hence, they also travel freely through gaps around the edges of cloth and surgical masks.
  • Governments enacted mask mandates based on the false assumption that C-19 is mainly transmitted by large droplets generated by coughing, sneezing, and spittle. These droplets are bigger than the pore sizes of most masks and only remain airborne for a few seconds after they are emitted.
  • For more than a year, the World Health Organization and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention denied and downplayed the threat of aerosol transmission while issuing guidelines that don’t amply prevent it. This enabled C-19 to decimate the most vulnerable members of society, like those in hospitals and nursing homes.
  • The CDC and WHO quietly admitted in the spring of 2021 that aerosols pose a major threat of transmission but have still not adequately updated their guidelines to reflect this reality. This has allowed countless preventable deaths to continue.
  • The risk of aerosol transmission can be greatly reduced by disinfecting air with ultraviolet (UV) light, which is part of the energy spectrum emitted by the sun. This simple and safe technology neutralizes airborne microbes and has been successfully used to control the spread of contagious respiratory diseases for more than 80 years.
  • Randomized controlled trials—which are the “gold standard” for clinical research—have repeatedly measured the effects of masks on preventing the spread of contagious respiratory diseases. These trials have found inconsistent benefits from N95 masks in healthcare settings and no statistically significant benefits from any type of mask in community settings.
  • The only randomized controlled trial that evaluated cloth masks found that mandating them causes significant disease transmission in high-risk healthcare settings.
  • Observational studies—which are a weaker form of evidence than randomized controlled trials—find that masking schoolchildren provides negligible or no benefits.
  • Lab studies—which are the weakest form of clinical evidence—don’t support the notion that surgical or cloth masks reduce the transmission of Covid-19.
  • Masks of all types have negative impacts on some people, including headaches, difficulty breathing, increased cardio-pulmonary stress during exercise, marked discomfort, and weakened social bonds.
  • Because humans create carbon dioxide as they breathe, the CO2 concentration of the air they exhale is about 100 times higher than in fresh air. Masks restrict airflow and thus cause the wearers to rebreathe some of the air they exhale.
  • The average CO2 concentrations inhaled by people wearing N95 masks range from 2.6 to 7.0 times OSHA’s work shift limit for CO2. These levels cause headaches and chest pains in some people.
  • The average CO2 concentrations inhaled by people wearing cloth and surgical masks range from 2 to 3 times the government CO2 limits for classrooms in many countries. These levels may impair certain high-level brain functions like initiative, strategic thinking, and complex decision-making.

The leaders of big tech corporations like Facebook, Twitter, and Google/YouTube have empowered government officials who misled the public about every matter above and others. Together, they continue to do so by engaging in actions that resemble common disinformation tactics. These include but are not limited to cherry-picking, censorship, muddying the waters, citation bluffs, non-sequiturs, half-truths, and outright falsehoods.

Below is the link to the whole article from www.JustFacts.com...

(Are you thinking about reading the whole article? Are you thinking that you are ready to settle down and read 20,361 words? If not, content yourself with my Overview above. Dat’s enough.)

https://www.justfacts.com/news_face_masks_deadly_falsehoods

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Much of the Overview could be explained (yes, I have blogged this before)...Trying to stop a Covid 19 germ with a cloth mask is like trying to stop a mosquito from flying through the holes in a page fence...



Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Don't Stick Your Neck Out Just Because You Promised To Stick Your Neck Out

 

First let’s go back in Chinese/American History a bit...

Ø American President What’s His Name told the Big Guy in China right after the Chinese Nationalist escaped to Taiwan, “Don’t you dare think about doing anything unkind to Taiwan”.

Ø Many years later American President What Ya Ma Call It warned his opposing What Ya Ma Call It Big Guy in China, “You better not even think about getting into a canoe and start paddling in Taiwan’s general direction”.

Ø Actually every American President, if the subject of Taiwan ever came up during his term in office, let it be known that Taiwan was a No No for Conquest, Vacations or Second Looks.

Now it looks like the time might actually be right for Mainland China to try and take over Taiwan and teach those Disloyal Chinese Escapees how the cow eats the cabbage and Washington D.C. is getting nervous.

My sources tell me that the midnight oils are burning in order to come up with a slate of Preemptive Excuses to justify doing nothing if the Mainland Chinese do something. Here are the 3 leading Preemptive Excuses at the time of this Blog Posting...

Ø We ought not to go out on a limb for the Taiwanese because there is not a lot of there there because there is not a lot of it there. After all Taiwan is just a little bit bigger than Maryland. Heck, the United States is about 273 times bigger than Taiwan. If we are going to live up to our commitments, it ought to be over something bigger than this little pipsqueak of an island.

Ø Let’s not get out on a limb here. There are not that many Disloyal Chinese Defectors on Taiwan. There are only 23.6 Million of them. The Good Ole USofA has already taken in our fair share of Chinese...NYC has 685,000, Los Angeles has 678,000, San Francisco has 582,000 and San Jose has 239,000 of them. Enough is enough!

Ø All these former American Presidents made their rash commitments about Taiwan at a time in our history when more American Citizens were playing Chinese Checkers than are playing Chinese Checkers today.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn said it best... ”Son! I say, son, let’s not lose our marbles over a Board Game!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Monday, March 13, 2023

Wanna See A Bunch Of Disgusting?

 

I remember being told by my Mother, “Fella, don’t stick your tongue out at people! It’s not nice!”

At the time I thought she was trying to make my life difficult because I thought sticking my tongue out at a kid I wanted to stick my tongue out at was a quite effective way to convey to him my true feelings. The kid I stuck it at would often be taken aback. I felt I had made my point and won the argument. Sure the kid I stuck it at would very likely stick his at me but, if I did a real quick Stick and Turn My Back Maneuver, I would never see his Return Tongue Stick.

A couple of years ago I matured and in my new-found maturity I now realize my Mother was not all right about her reason for not sticking (It’s Not Nice). She should have told me it was Disgusting (my mother was at a disadvantage because she never used the word “disgusting”).

How disgusting depends on the tongue being stuck out. If you want to see Disgusting you can start with the picture below and then you can click on the link below that and get even more grossed out.

I don’t recommend you look at a lot of these pictures. Just long enough to get my drift about disgusting...


Tuesday, March 07, 2023

Did They Exaggerate When They Named World War l World War l?

 

Ah come on, man! World War means the World was at War with the World. Fella is here to say, “Let’s get serious”. We need a different more accurate name for World War l. I’m going to research it for you and let you know what I find out and recommend to the World what would be the proper and correct name for World War l instead of World War l.

Here we go...

1914...

Ø July 28 Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia.

Ø August 1 Germany declares war on Russia.

Ø August 3 Germany declares war on France.

Ø August 4 Britain declares war on Germany.

Ø August 5 Austria-Hungary declares war on Russia.

Ø August 6 Serbia declares war on Germany.

Ø August 10 France declares war on Austria-Hungary.

Ø August 12 Britain declares war on Austria-Hungary.

Ø November 1 the Ottoman Empire declares war on the Allies (France, United Kingdom, Russia, Italy and Japan) this saved the Ottoman Empire from having to declare lots of different declarations.

Ø November 1 Russia declares war on the Ottoman Empire.

Ø November 2 Serbia declares war on the Ottoman Empire.

Ø November 5 Britain and France declare war on the Ottoman Empire.

1915...

Ø May 23 Italy declares war on Austria-Hungary.

Ø October 14 Bulgaria and Serbia declare war on each other.

1916...

Ø August 28 Germany declares war on Romania.

Ø August 28 Italy declares war on Germany.

1917...

Ø April 6 the United States declares war on Germany.

Ø July 2 Greece declares war on the Central Powers (Germany, Austria-Hungary, the Ottoman Empire and Bulgaria). Again a country chooses to save the paperwork and the tremendous amount of finger pointing required if it had declared 4 different declarations).

Ø August 14 China declares war on Austria-Hungary and Germany.

Ø October 26 the Brazil declares war on Germany.

Ø December 7 the United States declares war on Austria-Hungary.

1918...

Ø November 10 Romania declares war for the second time. (I typed this one out exactly as it appeared in the big book where I found all of this Deadly Foolishness.) I do not understand this Romanian Declaration. It is at a time when Armistices and Peace Treaties are being signed by everybody and it was on the day before the Armistice was signed that ended the fighting in Europe. It’s sort of like Romania is saying, “Hey, guys, pay attention to me!”

I take it all back and hereby declare that declaring the name of World War l as World War l was absolutely a perfectly logical choice of words and Fella could not have come up with a better name even if he were the Fella-In-Charge of the Committee that was responsible for Naming Wars so that the rest of us would know which war we are talking about.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The soldier in the above picture is Harry Truman.