As We Learn More About This Dire Pandemic We Get Smarter...Or do we?

Wraparound Germ Transmission Prevention Plexiglas is saving many lives during this dire Pandemic...Or is it still?

However many it has saved it now appears that some of us believe enough lives have been saved and they are moving on to save other important things.

Did you just ask yourself what can be more important than saving Human Lives? I’m not saying I understand what is happening but I do have Photographic evidence of which I am about to speak.

What I speak about is we have saved so many Human Lives we are now relocating our Wraparound Germ Transmission Prevention Plexiglas to Save Inhuman Cash Registers...

Check out the above picture and see for yourself that Costco now has the Wraparound Germ Transmission Prevention Plexiglas protecting the Cash Registers Only. 

The space where the Customer and the Employee are spewing germs at each other is Germ-Spreading Wide Open Unprotected. 

I don’t want to be too hard on Costco. They have probably noticed what Fella has noticed...

Almost every time I see one of these Wraparound Germ Transmission Prevention Plexiglas Installations I see the customer standing to one side or the other talking around the Wraparound Germ Transmission Prevention Plexiglas or his feet are on the 6’ Apart Stand Here Spots on the floor but he is contorting his body and head so that he can poke his head around the side of the Wraparound Germ Transmission Prevention Plexiglas

Costco probably said to itself, “If we can’t keep the customers safe, at least we can keep the Cash Registers Safe”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Our World Getting Too Complicated!!!

Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) are a great way to prevent all those Evils out there from having their way with and doing bad things to us.

I have not had a VPN very long but I have now been confronted with 2 circumstances where I am told to Disable my VPN if I want to be able to connect with what I am trying to connect with.

Strangely enough (when you consider that you use a VPN for Security) is many banks (including mine) will not let you connect if you have a VPN trying to keep you secure.

************

Today I found out that Amazon Prime tells me I can’t see their Informational Link about Amazon Prime Movies if I have my VPN watching over me.

When I look at their link to get information about their Movies, I see this message...

Your device is connected to the Internet using a VPN or proxy service. Please disable it and try again. For more help, go to amazon.com/pv-vpn.

When I go to the URL they suggest (amazon.com/pv-vpn), see this Unbelievably Complicated and Confusing Information...

Issues While Playing Prime Video Titles

What to do when Prime Video titles won't play or if you see error codes such as 1007, 1022, 7003, 7005, 7031, 7135, 7202, 7203, 7204, 7206, 7207, 7230, 7250, 7251, 7301, 7303, 7305, 7306, 8020, 9003, 9074.

Ø Close the Prime Video app on your device (or your web browser, if you're watching on your computer).

Ø Restart your computer or connected device.

Ø Ensure that your device or web browser has the latest updates.

Ø Ensure that you’re not using the same account on multiple devices - you can only stream the same title to two devices at a time.

Ø Ensure that any external device is connected to your TV or display using an HDMI cable that is compatible with HDCP 1.4 (for HD content) or HDCP 2.2 (for UHD and/or HDR content).

Ø Pause other Internet activity – especially if other devices are using the network at the same time.

Ø Check your Internet connection. You may need to restart your connected device and/or router.

Ø If you’re able to connect to the Internet on other devices, update your connect device’s DNS settings. Please check with your device’s manufacturer for further details.

Ø If you’re attempting to control a device using Alexa, try to unpair then re-pair the device in the Alexa app.

Ø Disable any VPN or proxy servers.

For more help, try our Prime Video forum 

************

This is why the wordwas invented!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Want To Be A Pilot? Become The Best Pilot And You Will Be A Pilot...Or Will You Be?

 

Let's Think About This...

ØOnce Upon a Time there was a White Male Human Being (I'll call him Sidney) who had always wanted to be a Commercial Airline Pilot.

ØAll of his education was directed toward gaining the skills required to become a Commercial Airline Pilot.

ØWhen he finished his Check Ride for his Private Pilot’s License his Check Ride Instructor said to him, “From the first day we rode together, I always felt safer when you had the controls instead of when I had the controls. It was an honor to be your instructor.”

ØAfter years of hard work Sidney is finally officially qualified (for years he has been Fully Qualified but now he has taken all the training and taken all the tests to be Officially Qualified) to become a Commercial Airline Pilot.

ØNot everyone knows that here is an elaborate Pilot Evaluation Computer System that ranks the Country’s Candidates who are vying to become Commercial Airline Pilots.

ØSidney has been ranked as the Most Qualified Candidate for the last 5 year in a row. 

One sad day Sidney gets a letter from the CEO of United Airlines saying, “Even though you are the Country’s Most Qualified Pilot Candidate we will not be hiring you to become one of our new Pilots. I am pleased to tell you that next time you are a passenger on one of our flights we will be sure to offer you your choice of an extra bag of Peanuts or Pretzels”.

Several months later Sidney is working at his job as a Part-Time Busboy at the local Country Club and he sees the CEO of United Airlines in the Member’s Lounge.

Sidney humbly asks the CEO why his application to become a Pilot for his airline was turned down. The CEO is a very straight shooter. He tells the Part-Time Busboy, “We are in the midst of 9 Year Hiring Program where we only hire Women and People of Color. I can see that you do not fall into either category. So there was no chance in hell of your being offered a position with us”.

Sidney then makes the mistake of humbly asking, “Is there any chance that one of the pilots who was hired instead of me was piloting that United Jet that crashed last Wednesday killing 256 people?”

The Very Straight Shooting CEO says, “How do you know about that?” He then calls for the Country Club’s Security Guard and has the Humble Former Qualified Pilot Candidate and Former Part-Time Busboy thrown out of the Country Club on his very qualified head.

Not too long ago the Former #1 Most Qualified Pilot Candidate was closing the Gap on his life-long dream of becoming a Commercial Pilot. Now he is the #1 Stock Boy At The GAP.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

How To Get Those Basketball Players To Come Out In Favor Of Georgia’s Photo ID Voting Requirement

Require that all voting in all future elections be held at Coca-Cola World Headquarters...

If Coca-Cola says Photo ID is OK, you know  

It Is OK!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:  

Half-Mast Is The Position, Roughly Halfway Down A Flagpole, To Which A Flag Is Lowered As A Sign Of Respect When An Important Person Dies...Or Is It?

 

I drove past our Post Office the other day and the flag was at Half-Mast...Again. The city I live in could save a lot of taxpayer money when buying and installing Flagpoles in the future by buying poles that are half as long as they used to buy.

(Maybe the above wise crack does not make a lot of sense but I’m going to forge ahead with this Blog Posting anyway.)

There was a time when we saw a flag on a flagpole at half-mast and we would turn on the radio to hear about which one our Leaders, Explorers, Sports Figures or Rulers had died.

We could also look around and we would usually see a newsboy with a bunch of newspapers under his arm holding one of them up above his head and shouting, ”Read All About It!” and, of course, we would rush up and give a nickel to the shouting boy so we could Read All About It.

Today we are treating our Flagpoles like Participation Trophies. We give out trophies to bewildered children and hoist up flags half-way up flagpoles like they were not important.

Let your mind wander with me for a few moments. Think how much less time we would have to teach our children Reading, Writing and Arithmetic if we began each school day by calling every student up on the stage in the school’s auditorium to receive their Perfect Attendance For Today Certificate.

If Everything Is Special, Nothing Is Special

Before I came to an understanding about how un-special the Flagpole had become I wasted a lot of times trying to find out what momentous happening had happened. I understood how far we had slid down the flagpole went one day I rushed over to City Hall, burst into the Mayor’s Palatial Office and shouted, “What momentous happening has happened?!”

There sat my Mayor with an almost empty box of Kleenex in front of her patting her mascara dripping eyes as she replied, “Cuddles has died!” I shouted back, “What’s a Cuddles?” She moaned back, “My Cat!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

Should I Be Thankful That They Work So Hard To Confuse Me?

 

I have hearing problem. If the person talking to my ears is a Heavily Accented Person, I just can’t understand what the heck they are saying.

There is such a large economic benefit to companies I reach out to across the World Wide Web to hire people who I can’t understand it looks like I’m just going to have to live with the confusion.

Here is what actually happened on a call a few days ago. I got a letter from a Credit Card Company concerning my dispute of a $230 charge for a product I never received. The letter so confused me that I called my Credit Card Company’s Customer Service Department.

The letter stated the following...

Ø We have received a $230 credit from this merchant; therefore, the conditional credit of $230 on your account is now permanent.

Ø We previously issued a conditional credit of $230 to your account pending the outcome of our investigation. Now that the investigation is complete, we have again charged your account $230.

I told my Heavily Accented Customer Service Representative that it appears I was charged $230 then had a credit of $230 and now I have a second charge of $230. It looks like I was charged 2 times for $230 and credited 1 time for $230. This means I am paying $230 for the cost of the disputed product I did not get.

Now things really started going downhill...

Ø My Heavily Accented Representative now knows she is talking to an Ignorant Accented Person and tells me that I am confused because my dispute has actually been decided in my favor.

Ø I say how can that be?...
>I go on to say I was charged $230 2 times and credited $230 1 time, therefore, I have paid $230 for a product I did not get.
>I add, “This means the letter is wrong”.

Ø My Heavily Accented Representative contradicts me and says the letter is not wrong...
>She goes on to say it is I who am wrong because I am paying attention to the second paragraph.
>She adds, I should ignore the second paragraph and only pay attention to the first paragraph.
>She finishes up with, “This means the letter is right and you are wrong”.

My dear readers, you are not often proud of me but on this occasion you ought to be proud of me. I kept cool and asked her to repeat that explanation about ignoring and paying attention to this paragraph and that paragraph and, believe it or not, she did it again with all the conviction that she was talking to an Ignorant Accented Person and she must keep her cool when talking to such a Fella.

I let it drop. I plan to wait till the statements come in showing all the debit(s) and all the credit(s) and, if I have more debits than credits, I will call back and hope I get someone who is not a Heavily Accented Representative who I can understand and who can understand me (an Ignorant Accented Person).

The above paragraph may prove that I am an idiot. What do you think are my chances of that happening?

Since I started this Blog Posting another Dispute has been resolved and I have received a letter. Thank heaven the Confusing Second Paragraph was not included.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here is what I think happened right after she hung up the phone. She said to herself, “What an idiot!” I think there is a good chance that she did not take that much pleasure in her after-the-hang-up-parting-shot-at-my-intelligence because she was so Heavily Accented she did not understand what she said to herself.

Stay Out Of Jail

Here is how you can keep from being sent to jail. 

When they come to get you to take you to jail tell them you don’t have a Valid ID because...

Number 63 (of 65) on the “When Valid IDs Are Required” list below is 

“Going to Jail”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Thinking About Going to Singapore This Afternoon?

If you are getting a hankering to hop on over to Singapore today, I would recommend that you think before you hop.

I would be doubly cautious if you have a problem with Forgetfulness.

What Do I Mean? ... Here Is What I Do Mean...

Ø You have just arrived in Singapore.

Ø You just got into your hotel room.

Ø You have always heard that Singapore has the finest Egg Rolls on Planet Earth.

Ø You are hungry for a World Famous Egg Roll.

Ø You forget that you are forgetful.

Ø You decide to go downstairs and visit that Egg Roll Street Vendor you saw as you were entering your hotel.

Ø You go downstairs and exit the hotel all excited about that World Famous Egg Roll you are about to sink your teeth into.

Ø You reach for your wallet knowing that you have $10,000 in your wallet.

Six Months later you are back outside your hotel. You see that Egg Roll Street Vendor. You say to yourself, “I’m going to eat one of those World Famous Egg Rolls!”

You take out your wallet to get the money to pay for your World Famous Egg Roll but your wallet is empty! You say to yourself, “I thought I had $10,000 in my wallet!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: My son just arrived in Singapore. He is now COVID Confined to his hotel room for 14 days. I hope he is not getting forgetful.

Children Have Such Soft Heads Today

 

For those of my Dear Readers who are not young, take a moment and remember when we were young and the kind of world we lived in...

Ø Remember when we were told by our parents to go out and play and not come home until the street light came on.

Ø Remember when we were told by our parents, “Go climb a tree and try not to fall out of your chosen tree and break an arm. If you do fall and break an arm, cry real loud and, if I hear you, I will come and get you and take you to the doctor.”

Ø Remember when our parents gave us an alternate course of action by telling us... If neither one of them was at home when we fell, we should get up and take ourselves to the doctor. They reminded us that we ought to remember where the doctor’s office was because we went there all the other times we fell and broke something.

Ø Remember when our parents told us we were moping around the house too much and we should go out and do something outside like ride our bike.

Ø Remember when we confused our parents by asking for our Bike Riding Helmet. We knew we had confused them because they asked us, “What do you mean where is your Bike Riding Helmet? What’s a Bike Riding Helmet?”

Ø Remember when our parents said, “Don’t waste our time complaining about your teeth coming in crooked again. Quit complaining. Lots of people have crooked teeth. What do you mean you want braces on your teeth? What are braces anyway? Are braces those new fangled things I saw sticking out of that kid’s mouth the other day on the streetcar? He sure looked funny and he also looked very uncomfortable. Is that what you want? Do you want to look funny and be uncomfortable? Besides I saw in the Saturday Evening Post that those things can cost as high as $50. Do you think we are made out of money?”

Ø Remember when (actually you can’t remember this one because I believe this was a Fella’s Mama Exclusive) I would ask my Mother for a nickel, she would respond, “Fella, if I had a nickel, I would sit up and watch it all night”.

************

I know you are probably wondering what caused me to write this Blog Posting. Ok, since you are wondering, I’ll tell you.

Later this year my wife, one of our daughters and I are going to a Dude Ranch in Wyoming. In reading through the Pre-Departure Dudeing Information I noticed (surely you remember I am a Noticer)...

 Children Under 12 Years of Age Are Required To Wear Helmets While Riding Horses

It was a short jump from that Notice of mine to thinking up the Subject of this Blog Posting and then there followed the actual pecking out of the Blog Posting you have just enjoyed...Or did u?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: You may be wondering why I made you scroll up to the top to see the Subject instead of just repeating the Subject when I brought it up at the bottom of this Blog Posting. It’s because I saved 6 words by making you scroll back up to the Subject. You see my computer is running dangerously low on Words and I am awaiting the arrival of the Computer Word Delivery Man to come give me a refill.

I’m Confused Again

I just read an article about Jim Caviezel who played Jesus Christ in Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of the Christ. Caviezel has been Blackballed by Hollywood because he played the part of Christ. 

The article said this about the movie, “The film received great ridicule for being controversial and being unnecessarily violent”.

• Controversial?...I’m not sure I understand what they are referring to by saying the death of Jesus was controversial unless it is the hysteria I recall before the movie came out which was centered on reports that the film was going to result in mass killings of Jews all over the Earth because the film showed Jews killing Jesus. 
  >I always thought that Jews (a bunch of Jews) killed Jesus (a Jew) was established historical fact. (Unless they are referring to those unconfirmed report from an unnamed source that chose to speak only on the condition of anonymity where he anonymously said that Brazilians killed Jesus.)
  >Also, if anyone has any news articles from after the movie that documents mass killings of Jews anywhere on the Earth, please add them as a comment to this Blog Posting.
• Unnecessarily Violent?...Hollywood makes movie after movie year after year where more bullets are shot at good & bad guys than were expended at the invasion of Normandy and Hollywood thinks the killing of Jesus was “unnecessarily” violent? Wow!
  >Yes it was violent because crucifixion was violent. (Are they saying Mel Gibson should have used a more humane way of killing Jesus than was used to kill Jesus?)
  >Pardon me, Jesus, for this wise-ass comment...I bet Jesus thought often as he was being crucified, “Is this really necessary?”
  >Considering all the Necessary and Unnecessary violence that mankind has perpetrated since Jesus died, one might wonder if his death was necessary but was it worth it or was it worth it but was it necessary? (I told you I was confused in the Subject of this Blog Posting and this last sentence proves it.)

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Hey, Hollywood. Want to avoid any movie that is Controversial? I got an idea. Let’s get Jimma Carter to go take a survey of the entire world. As soon as he comes back with Subject Matter for a movie that everyone on Earth agrees on, you can go into production. Until then, please abstain from making any movies. 

Can Not Coughing Kill You?

Do you remember when Coronavirus or is it? Wuhan Virus or is it? Chinese Flu or is it? Novel Coronavirus or is it? COVID-19 or is it? CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Virus or is it? SARS-CoV-2 Virus or is it? Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus 2 or is it? Coronavirus Disease 2019 Flu Pandemic did not exist?

I think I do remember when The Dire Pandemic did not exist but I’m not sure. I think there is a fairly good chance you think you do remember but you also are not sure.

Be that as it may (whatever that means) I am going to attempt to take you back into my Pre-Pandemic Fuzzy Recollections...

I think I can remember sitting in church and listening to my fellow Catholics Coughing. I had always thought Catholics coughed a lot. I think I remember thinking to myself, “Wow! It never stops! It’s like one continuous cough but it’s not. It is actually a continuous string of separate individual coughs. By golly, it’s a Cacophony of Catholic Coughing!”

************

Sometime around March of 2020 going to Church was declared unlawful. We are now being told that it is not as unlawful as it once was so we have been trickling back and starting to get our knees back in shape. It is strange how your knees will get out of shape if they are not used.

We Catholics are very interested in where we are going to spend eternity. We are fearful that, if we do not go to Mass Every Sunday, we will slide way past the end of God’s Slippery Slope and end up very Unhappy Ever After.

During this Dire Pandemic we have been officially relieved of our Sunday Mass Attendance Requirement. It is amazing how powerful our Rulers are. They remind me of that Italian Security Guard who worked at the Audubon Park Zoo when I was young. At closing time he would walk around shouting over and over, “Everybody get outa!”

He had to shout his instruction many times before we trickled out but our Rulers have such control over us they only had to tell us to Stay Outa Church one time and we obeyed.

************

Let’s get back to the Cacophony of Catholic Coughing...

Upon my recent return to Sunday Mass the thing that struck me about the Cacophony of Catholic Coughing was it was gone. Said another way, the thing that struck my ear was nothing. It was quiet as a Church Mouse in there.

Where did all the coughs go? We all are now afraid to cough. Why are we afraid to cough?

Ø Are we afraid that our fellow worshippers will start Staring at us?

Ø Are we afraid that our fellow worshippers will start Shouting at us?

Ø Are we afraid that our fellow worshippers will start Stoning us?

I don’t think they will start stoning us because I am pretty sure stoning is now against the rules. Just to sure our Pastor had all the stones removed from the parking lot long ago. There are some pebbles laying around out there but even Catholic Pebbles won’t do you much harm.

Fella will now present you with the Fella Question of the Day...

What Happened To All The Coughing?

Ø Were the coughs never necessary in the first place?

Ø Is there still a need to cough but we are stifling them?

Ø Is it even possible to stifle a cough?

Ø Do you just try real hard to think about something else until you forget about the urge/need to cough?

Ø Can you swallow a cough?

Ø If you do swallow a cough, how many can you swallow before you are full up and bad things start to happen to your insides?

Ø At some point will swallowing coughs begin to hurt?

Ø Last but certainly not least, can swallowing coughs kill you?

Some of you already know from a prior communication of mine that I am not only a Practicing Catholic but I continue to struggle with an failing of mine where my mind wanders and have admitted to being a Wandering Catholic because I have trouble paying attention during the Homily.

In the future my Wandering Mind is going to have a really hard time paying attention because by putting together this Blog Posting I committed the above Bullet Points to memory. You can bet I am going to be thinking about these perplexing Bullet Points during future masses.

I am going to be praying for clarification but I am not hopeful God is going to be paying me no never mind because He is going to be busy handling other more worthwhile petitions that are certain to be pouring forth from my Dire Pandemic Plagued Non-Coughing Fellow Parishioners.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: When we were younger the priests would deliver Sermons at us. One day we started hearing the word Homily used and the word Sermon disappeared and we became Confused Practicing Catholics. Eventually we were told that we Catholics did not like to have Sermons deliver at us because we felt when Sermons were being delivered at us we were being talked down to. Some of us still persisted about the word Homily because we still did not know what a Homily was. In Perfect Catholic Clarity we were told that a Homily was a Sermon and, strangely enough, Catholics everywhere felt better. 

This Blog Posting Which Is Way Too Long but It’s Time Well Spent ... Or is it?

This may look like a long Blog Posting but it is really not that long, unless you read...

Ø Fella’s Re-Posted Blog Posting of February 5, 2012 entitled “Earmarks ... Pork by Any Other Name Still Stinks”. (Which I recommend you read.)

Ø And you read Fella’s New Blog Posting entitled, “Congress Gave Pork A New Name But It Stinks Even More Than It Used To Stink When Congress Was Calling It By Its Two Prior Names”. (Which I recommend you read.)

Ø And then you read the link to the Internet Article from February 28, 2021. (Which I recommend you read if you want to get really confused.)

Actually, if I were you, I would not read the Internet Article Link but I’m not you. You may be a seeker of more confusion than I am.

This is the February 5, 2012 Blog Re-Posting promised above...

Earmarks ... Pork by Any Other Name Still Stinks

If I were running for President of the United States, I would be bringing up for discussion Earmarks (a.k.a. Pork Barrel Spending) a heck of a lot more often than they are being talked about during this current campaign.

One of the smokescreens put up by the Porkers is that this may be a lot of money but it may not be a lot of money because it is only a small part of the Overall Total Budget.

Don’t blame me if you can’t understand the prior sentence. You have to be a member of Congress for 6 to 8 years before you can understand such “logic”.

I am going to address the issue of Pork Barrel Spending from two related points of view.

The First Point of View...

It seems to me that those who say the amount of money spent, while big is small, are missing a major point. The real damage of Pork is the fact that Pork allows bad legislation to become law.

If a congressman Dudley Do-Right

sees that a particular piece of legislation sponsored by a congressman Snidely Whiplash

will do great damage to our country but is persuaded to vote for Snidely’s Pork Barrel Project because Dudley is given his own Pork Barrel Project, the end result is Snidely’s bad legislation has been passed.

It is not a fair trade off that Dudley’s Pork is deserving of becoming the law of the land because Snidely’s is not deserving of becoming the law of the land.

Why can’t our Congress pass individual laws based strictly on the merits of each individual law? Instead of a Merit Based Legislation Process we have an entrenched system of Trade-Offs of Bad and Good...

I will give you yours (no matter how good or bad it is) if you give me mine (no matter how good or bad it is).

The Second Point of View...

The Trade-Off of Bad and Good System has been established so long that even the Dudley’s up in congress are defending it as necessary.

I recently heard a member of congress (whom I admire) vehemently defend the Earmark System. To do this he recited a long list of what were to him (and to me) very worthwhile projects. These wonderful laws were undeniably beneficial to our Country. His point was all Pork Does Not Stink As Much As Other Pork Stinks.

Here is what goes through Congressman Snidely’s small mind all the time...

Ø Wow! Congressman Dudley’s legislation is a great piece of legislation!

Ø Dudley will be dying to get his great piece of legislation enacted into law.

Ø My Pork Legislation will never be able to stand on its own merits because it is bad legislation.

Ø I’ll tell Dudley that he can’t have his good legislation unless I get my, bad for the country but good for my re-election, bad legislation.

Ø This is a Win Win for us but not for the Good Ole USofA.

Ø I get re-elected and Dudley gets re-elected.

Ø I don’t want to lose Dudley because it took a long time to train (corrupt) him to think that this Trade-Off of Bad and Good System is the way it has to be.

Ø After all, making laws is like making sausage and everyone knows that the main ingredient in Congressional Sausage is Pork.

It is not uncommon to hear Congressmen Dudley and Snidely make speeches about the need to get rid of Pork. Usually they say that reductions have already taken place but more reductions are necessary. This gives us hope. We take comfort in hope because we have small minds also.

I did some research on my own to find out about recent Total Pork Barrel Spending. It was not easy to find this information but here is what I came up with...

Ø $15,600,000,000 in 2009.

Ø $15,600,000,000 in 2010.

Only a Highly Trained (corrupt) Congressional Thinking Mind would look at the two bullets above and call that a “reduction”. Here’s how they do that....

They look at the 2010 number and say, it could have been more, and therefore, it must be less because it is not more and it would have been more if it had been more.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

This is the New Blog Posting promised above...

Congress Gave Pork a New Name but It Stinks Even More Than It Used To Stink When Congress Was Calling It by Its Two Prior Names

Back in the Bubba Clinton and the Dubya Bush years Congress made a big stink about their Stinking Earmark Program. Somewhere along the way Congress “fixed” it. Attaboy 9% Approval Rated Congress because They Eliminated Earmarks Completely!...Or did they?

Now our highly overrated 9% Approval Rated Congress is flat-dab-out-in-the-open bringing back Pork Barrel Spending f.k.a. Earmarks but they have given it an even Newer New Name! It is now called Community Funding Projects! (If that name was not enough to make you feel the urge to throw up, they also call them Member-Directed Spending.)

It took us years to figure out what Earmarks were. Who among us can be against Communities? Heck Communities R Us! We will never figure this one out.

I hereby declare our 9% Approval Rated Congress the Winner!

I give you one guess who the Losers are.

************

Are you thinking, How Bad Can It Be? Fella is now going to tell you How Bad It Will Be.

Under this new iteration of Pork/Earmarks/Community Funding Projects each member of Congress officially gets the Opportunity to Propose 10 Community Funding Projects!

That’s 10 Official Opportunities to Officially Waste Taxpayer Money!

Do you know how many Representative and Senators we have in our 9% Approval Rated Congress? We have 535 of these Public Servants Serving us.

10 times 535 is...

5,350 Officially Sanctioned Opportunities to Officially Waste Taxpayer Money!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I tried but could not find out if they get 10 per year or 10 every Congress (2 years). Either way it is A Lot! If it is every year, it is A Lot times 2.

I’m done with this Blog Posting but, if you are glutton for confusion, click below and you can read on and on and on...

THE SWAMP, RELOADED: HOUSE APPROPRIATIONS COMMITTEE CHIEF MAKES RETURN OF EARMARKS OFFICIAL; EVERY CONGRESSMAN GETS 10 

Posted by J.D. Rucker | Feb 27, 2021 | The Liberty Daily

https://clarion.causeaction.com/2021/02/27/the-swamp-reloaded-house-appropriations-committee-chief-makes-return-of-earmarks-official-every-congressman-gets-10/

I Just Love That Word!

The above subject words have been repeated over and over ever since Jacob Dewey of the Legendary Law Firm Dewey, Cheatum and Howe first said them in 1826 right after his Congressman Brother-In-Law had succeeded in having the word “reasonable” inserted into a piece of legislation that the Congress of the United States had just passed into Law. 

Did you just say to yourself, “I don’t get your drift, Fella. Why was that word so important to Lawyer Dewey?”

Ok, I’ll explain. The insertion of this word for the first time into law meant that the lawyers of the Good Ole USofA were going to make untold fortunes from 1826 to today and into the foreseeable future arguing about exactly what was meant by “reasonable”.

Here are a few Bullet Points to make my point...

Ø ... will hereby be entitled to “reasonable” compensation

Ø ... the term of service shall be “reasonable”

Ø ... “reasonable” restrictions with regard to its usage are allowed

Ever since that day Members of Congress day have never passed up an opportunity to insert the word “reasonable” at every opportunity into the laws they pass.

Many Members of Congress are lawyers and they are well aware that, after the 30 or 40 years of their Congressional Life, they are going to go back to their home District or State and again take up the practice of law. They know that these Reasonable Word Insertions are going to make them a hell of a lot of money right up until their dying day.

************

For his Herculean effort back in 1826 Jacob Dewey long ago had a Statue erected in his honor in the Lawyer’s Hall of Fame in Ripoffalot, Maryland.

This statue is one of the most secure edifices in the Good Ole USofA. Back when Statues began being Defaced and Torn Down a few years ago, the Jacob Protection Association was formed.

Many Members of Congress are volunteers in the Jacob Protection Association and have an App on their phones to alert them of any potential Statue Tear Down Scuttlebutt on the Internet. These volunteers stand ready to head to Jacob Dewey’s Statue on a moment’s notice to encircle it and stand guard.

Dianne Feinstein is not a lawyer but, because she knows so much about assault weapons, she is the keeper of the key to the armory where the Jacob Protection Association houses their ample supply of AK-47’s.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

In A Flash I Shot Back In Time to My High School Years

This is a screen shot taken today of my Recent Phone Calls in my iPhone.

Yea, I know one of them is not very recent (2020) but I’m hanging onto that one for a very good reason. I just can’t remember what that very good reason is.

In high school we would have taken one look at this picture and said no C***, Sherlock...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Pandemic Update...Things Are Getting Better!

Today’s Really Good News Is The Ruler Of New York State Has Deigned That His Minions Can Start Going To Movie Theatres Again

Since I have known Hiz Honor, the almost permanent ruler of New York, since way back when he was only a Prince-Aspiring-To-Be-King, I gave him a call to find out how he was going to pull off this loosening of the reins of his past dictates without endangering his subjects. He was expecting my call and immediately launched into explaining to me his Minion Movie Attendance Dictate (called by his subjects MMAD).

Below, in Bullet Point Format (aren’t you glad) is how our conversation went...

Ø Sir, is it OK if I call you “Sir”, I am at a loss to understand how you are going to allow your subjects to crowd into Super Spreader Germ-Infested Closed-In Movie Theatres.

Ø Oh my dear Fella, it is easy. I am going to dictate my Minion Seating Policy is to be strictly enforced.

Ø Sir, I am not familiar with your Minion Seating Policy.

Ø Fella, no one is familiar with it because I just invented it. It is simply this: My subjects will have to sit separated by 3 empty seats.

Ø Sir, I’m sure it is brilliant but I still don’t know what the heck you are talking about. ... As an aside, you may be wondering why I telephoned you today instead of visiting you in person. The reason is last time I visited you I said, “I don’t what the heck you are talking about”, and you threw me out of your office window. Had it not been for that Circus Act relocating their 3 Trampolines, I would have been killed. It was amazing. I bounced off of all 3 of them 2 times before I finally rolled safely to the ground. Because of that happening I decided not to take the chance of a visit to you for this discussion because there are not as many Circus acts walking around Albany as there once were. (I heard him chuckle as I proceeded.) ... The way I see it, the flaw in your Minion Seating Policy is that it is dark inside theatres so how are you going to know that your Minion Seating Policy is being adhered to? My understanding is young people still like to neck in dark theatres.

Ø Fella, I’m sorry about that throwing thing but you have to understand that I must have respect and throwing my subjects out that window gets me the next best thing to respect (if they survive)...Fear. Allow me to explain to you the Stroke of Genius part of my Minion Seating Policy that makes it fool proof. The 3 Empty Seats will remain unoccupied because I have mandated that they be covered with Green Jell-o. Who the heck is going to sit on Green Jell-o?

Ø Sir, I apologize from ever doubting you! That is definitely a Stroke of Genius Plan of Action!

I humbly thanked him for his time and, as I was groveling around saying my good bye I could hear he was really pleased with himself because I heard his suspenders snapping back onto his chest.

The last thing he said to me was, “Fella, my good friend, the Jell-o CEO, really likes my Minion Seating Policy!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: You are not sure if I made up all of the above Foolishness, are you? My Dear Readers, you have seen what’s been going on in New York throughout this Dire Pandemic. Think about it for a minute. ... I’ll wait. ... Now that you have thought about it for a minute, do you still think I made up all of the above?