Lists Lists Lists

Have you been saying to your collective selves, I think I would like to waste the rest of my life on Meaningless Drivel?

If so, I am here to provide you with the perfect vehicle to drive yourself over the cliff down into the Drivel Wasteland.

It should not surprise any of you that the Internet is going to be a key part of your Intellectual Demise.

You have probably already slipped a few times on this Slippery Slope. It happens all the time. You go darn near anywhere on the Internet and you look left or right or up or down and there are a plethora of small article headlines tempting you to waste time looking at a Nonsensical List about Useless Information. How many times have you clicked on one of these and found that, before you realize it, you have wasted more time than you intended to and you are not one bit better off for the lost time spent.

The lists are not simply numbered listings. They are smarter that (and smarter than you are). You have to keep clicking to see the next entry on the list and, of course, you are exposed to more ads every time you click a new click.

Here is a List of Lists that I compiled for you. Please don’t waste time analyzing the List. Just skim it and promise yourself that you are not going to waste any more time on this kind of Foolishness once you have wasted your time reading this Blog Posting…

• The Grossest Food From Every Single US State
• 14 Things You Might Not Know About William Shakespeare
• 15 Fascinating Facts About Bob Fosse
• 7 of the World’s Most Fascinating and Beautiful Catacombs
• 11 Untranslatable Words for Happiness From Around the World
• These Are the World’s 25 Safest Cities
• 15 Things You Can Do to Help Keep Oceans Clean
• 7 Astounding Online Courses You Can Sign Up for in September 2019
• Most Disgusting Fast Food Menu Items
• 11 Common Misconceptions About Beer
• 28 Scottish Slang Words You Should Know
• 10 Wily Facts About Coyotes
• 15 of the World's Most Popular Beaches as Seen From Above
• 11 Things Lost, Then Rediscovered, At Museums
• The Strange Origins of 17 Popular Songs
• 50 Mouthwatering Facts About Pizza
• 8 Things Mark Twain Didn't Really Say
• 8 Surprising Facts About Patrick Swayze
• 9 Lost Words We Should Bring Back
• 10 Excellent Facts About Keanu Reeves On His 55th Birthday
• 10 Facts About The Gap for Its 50th Anniversary
• 11 Movies That Made Less Than $400 at the U.S. Box Office
• Movie Sequels We Had No Idea Were Actually Being ade
• 7 Everyday Phrases That Have Been Rephrased
• 12 Facts About Rear Window On Its 65th Anniversary
• The Best Offbeat Museums to Visit in All 50 States
• 14 Latin Words and Phrases for the Modern World
• Movies That Are Considered To Be Almost Flawless
• All Grown Up: 9 Child Stars Who've Had Dramatic Transformations

I almost feel guilty for having written this Blog Posting. I have wasted my time warning you about the dangers of wasting your time. Is that a good thing?

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

After The Long Epistle Of Yesterday This Is Too Quick To Send Out Another Blog Posting But…

…I am inspired to peck out this one because Strikes are in the news and I’m not talking about Baseball Strikes.

Back when I was still rising to the height of my Mediocre Automotive Career and I was worked for American Motors (Google it) we were going through a Labor Strike as is happening at General Motors at this time.

I was told this story about what had happened at the Negotiating Table by someone who was at the Negotiating Table…

• The Union Negotiators were demanding another paid day off.
• The Company Negotiators were resisting.
• At some point the Union Negotiators modified their demand and said they wanted to have the additional paid day off in honor of Martin Luther King.
• Immediately the Company Negotiators saw the danger.
• The Company Negotiators asked for a break.
• During the break the Company Negotiators discussed the danger that they faced for denying a day to honor the memory of the deceased civil rights leader.
• All of a sudden a minor throw-away negotiating point had turned into a big issue.
• If the company denied the requested day off to honor Martin Luther King, the Union was certain to put out the word that American Motors was dishonoring the memory of Martin Luther King and automobile sales would plummet.
• They decided they had to give in to the additional paid day off.
• Returning from the break, the Company Negotiators said they would grant the additional paid day off and asked which day should be set aside to honor the great man the day he was born or the day he died.
• The Union Negotiator leaned across the table, smiled and said they would like to honor Martin Luther King on Easter Monday (this was at a time when it was not against Federal Law to say the word “Easter”).

That, my dear readers, is how up until American Motors went out of business their Union Workers obtained their Special Day to celebrate the Memory of Martin Luther King.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Of course, I was Non-Union but we also got the same day off to honor Martin Luther King that the Union obtained. Don’t tell anybody but I did not go to church and pray all day Easter Monday for Martin Luther King like the Union Members did.

Vegan As In Nut

A Vegan woman has filed a suit against her neighbors in the Australian Supreme Court after complaining about the smells emanating from her neighbor’s backyard. She is complaining about her neighbor’s Barbecuing, Smoking and Children Playing Basketball.

The Vegan is accusing her neighbors of intentionally setting up these nuisances. She says, “It's deliberate. All I can smell is fish. I can't enjoy my backyard”.

She may be drawing the “inspiration” to file and now press on with her lawsuit from Australia’s present day obsession about fines and penalties. In 2016 Local and State Governments across the country collected $15.3 Billion in fines.

One poor guy (now poorer than he used to be) was fined $28,500 because he was tardy 2 times in cutting his grass.

A Lower Court threw out the Vegan’s case in February and the Supreme Court also rejected her claims in July.

The Vegan had filed nearly 600 pages of documents in her appeal of the case. The Supreme Court Chief Justice was quoted as saying this was, “well in excess of anything that might be thought to be proportionate to the issues”. 

“I’m a good person. I just want peace and quiet”, the Vegan told a newspaper and she also says she intends to continue the legal fight.

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From past experience I know that 12 of my Dear Readers think this story is so preposterous that I must have made it up, however, in today’s crazy world, I do not need to make things up. Here is the link to the Crazy Vegan’s news article… 
https://www.yahoo.com/news/vegan-woman-sued-her-neighbors-140715647.html

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Where are we headed? In the old days we were segregated by Skin Color and life was simpler. In the Fearful Foreseeable Future (It is Fearful because we can Foresee It); we are going to be segregated by an unbelievable array of categories.

Allow me to present to you the confusing world surrounding People Who Don’t Like To Eat Meat.

As we have seen above, Vegans will want to be segregated from those Disgusting Meat Eaters. However, it is not going to be that simple. We are likely entering a never ending era of Segregation by Minuscule Differences where these kinds of lines will be drawn and segregation will run amok as these types of demands go to court…

• Lacto Ovo Vegetarian: A Lacto Ovo Vegetarian diet excludes meat, fish, and poultry but includes dairy products and eggs. Most vegetarians in the U.S., Canada, and Western Europe fall into this category. Lacto Ovo Vegetarians eat such foods as cheese, ice cream, yogurt, milk, and eggs, as well as foods made with these ingredients.>>>Since Lacto Ovo Vegetarians are the predominant Vegetarian Group they feel superior to all Other Vegetarians. It will not be long before there will be little movable signs on public transportation buses and the Other Vegetarians will be required to sit behind the signs.>>>Lacto Ovo Vegetarians eventually will come to realize that the Other Vegetarian’s body odor is making them nauseous and they will demand the Other Vegetarians exit the bus by the back door whenever a Lacto Ovo Vegetarian gets onto the bus by the front door.>>>Lacto Ovo Vegetarians will become heavier than Other Vegetarians because the Other Vegetarians will walk a lot more.

• Semi-Vegetarian: These Vegetarians have selectively cut back on their intake of meats... >>> A Pollo Vegetarian avoids red meat and fish but eats chicken.>>> A Pesco Pollo Vegetarian avoids red meat but eats chicken and fish. >>> Pollo Vegetarians and Pesco Pollo Vegetarians refuse to live next door to each other because they are repulsed by the other’s eating habits and, if they get within 12 feet of each other they feel threatened by the other’s nearness and they can smell the approach of the other’s body because of the other’s offensive body odor emitting from their offensive body. >>> Yes, each accuses the other of Smelling Deliberately.

• Lacto Vegetarian: A Lacto Vegetarian diet excludes meat, fish, and poultry, as well as eggs and any foods containing eggs. A Lacto Vegetarian would, however, eat dairy products such as milk, yogurt, and cheese. >>> Lacto Vegetarians are at present lying low because they are still confused about what they do and don’t eat. >>> As a group they are becoming more organized and are expected to issue a detailed list what they are Offended By and/or Feel Threatened By after this fall’s Lacto Vegetarian Convention in Lettuce, PA.

• Vegan: Technically, the term Vegan refers to more than just the diet alone. A Vegan is a Vegetarian who avoids eating or using all animal products, including meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products, any foods containing by-products of these ingredients, wool, silk, leather, and any nonfood items made with animal byproducts. >>> They are not sure yet but they may also hate Honey. >>> They are not seen out in public as much as they once were seen in the past because they had been making their clothes out of newspapers until they discovered newspapers were offensive because they usually have the words meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products, wool, silk, leather printed in them somewhere. >>> One Vegan actually had his heart attack him when he realized his newspaper pants had an ad on them announcing a local visit by the San Diego Chicken.

Don’t get mad at me for getting carried away with this Blog Posting. It’s not me that’s out of control. It’s the people who don’t eat meat that are spinning down the Proverbial Slippery Slope.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Since You Have Demonstrated That You Have Had Great Difficulty Paying Your Child Support in the Past, I Am Here to Help You

Does this make sense? ... 

Forty-Four States Have Policies of Suspending Driver’s Licenses Because of Unpaid Fines, Fees Or Court Costs

There are good reasons for Suspending Driver’s Licenses. Driving Infractions are a good reason because a person who Runs Red Lights, Repeatedly Drives in Excess of Speed Limits and Drives Reckless is a danger to other drivers.

However, for years now nearly 40% of license suspensions are the result of unrelated missteps other than on the road danger to others… 

 Unpaid parking tickets

 Court costs

 Child support

 Minor drug offenses like the first time possession of a controlled substance

 Unpaid student loans

Some states suspend licenses automatically without a hearing. The number of suspensions is not insignificant, for example, nearly 1,000 South Dakota residents have lost their driver’s licenses because they owe money to state universities.

Revoking the license of a person who can’t pay off fines or loans exacerbates the underlying problem. Myriad professions—including taxi drivers, cable installers, caregivers, construction workers, HVAC technicians, landscaping crews, maintenance workers and plumbers—require the ability to drive. If people lose their driver’s license, they lose their jobs and their ability to make good on any money they owe.

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Fella is now going to lay out a Perfectly Logical Example as to why people who can’t pay their bills should not be allowed to have a job…

Judge: Please explain why you are delinquent in your Child Support payments to your Starving Children.

Delinquent Person: I have been working as a Dish Washer and I Dish Wash at two different restaurants. I am washing as fast as I can, I have only been able to get two hours sleep a night for the last two years, however, dish washing does not pay enough to allow me to make enough money to keep up with my Child Support obligations.

Judge: I know your kind. Your kind drives big expensive cars, has a 75 inch TV, takes long vacations to the south of France and you own the latest most expensive iPhone.

Delinquent Person: Your Honor, I anticipated you were going to say these things about me so I have an affidavit in my hand that is signed by Pope Francis, Jimmy Carter and your Mother that I drive a 1967 VW Beetle, my TV is a 12 inch 1949 Zenith that only shows Hopalong Cassidy Saturday Westerns from the early 1950’s,

 I have not taken a day off from work in the last 12 years and my Cell Phone is so old it has a crank on the side.

Judge: OK, Mr. I’ve Got All the Answers, how do you propose to catch up on your Child Support Payments?

Delinquent Person: Your Honor, I happen to be the only person trained and qualified to be a Widget Stuffer. Five minutes before I walked into this courtroom I obtained an offer from Widgets R Us to begin work tomorrow in their new Widget Plant 57 miles away in Weehawkee. It will pay me 600% more than I make as a Dish Washer and I should be completely caught up in my Child Support Payment in 6 weeks. I just talked with my ex-wife and pledged to her and her live-in significant other that, once I get caught up, I will double my Child Support Payments.

Judge: I am very impressed with what you have told me and I think you have a sound plan of action. It is the ruling of this court that your Driver’s License be suspended for 3 years. Case Dismissed!

If someone in the past did not say Justice is Blind, someone should have said it.

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Did I go overboard with my Perfectly Logical Example?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

What Are They Doing?

Again yesterday I went to the park to exercise and try and keep my heart from attacking me. Starting from the moment I drove into the parking lot I could see that something strange was going on.

Instead of walking, running or being pulled along by their little while dogs as usual, all over the park my fellow health seekers were intently pecking at their phones. It looked like they were in the last row of my church at Sunday Mass...

• When I arrived, 1 of them was actually stopped and pecking in the middle of the parking lot as I drove in and she did not even look up as I swerved around her to get to my parking space.
• 5 were stopped in the middle of the trail pecking their phones.
• 1 was even pecking at 2 different phones she held in her left hand.
• 2 were about 5 feet from each other and were facing each other as they pecked away.
• Later, as I came back around the trail, I saw these 2 Text Talkers again. This time they were off the trail under a tree and they had increased their distance to about 15 feet. I guess they were testing out their Long Distance Communication Skills.

Regarding the comment I made in the second paragraph above about my fellow parishioners pecking at their cell phones in the last row in my church. I believe these peckers are in great danger of going to hell. They are actually threatening to cut their monthly donation to the church if the pastor does not make the last row larger. Personally I think the pastor should accede to their demand. It just does not look right to see all these “worshipers” sitting on each other’s laps.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Border Problem Is No Problem If Only Washington DC Would Listen To Me!

The Border with Mexico is under siege. The President says we got big trouble down there. The Border Patrol agrees with the President. The Border States Governors agree with the Border Patrol and the President. 

The law abiding U.S. Citizens who live near the border are being overrun by The Problem.

They are all perplexed about what to do about this invasion. I’m sitting here with the Perfect Fix for The Problem and none of them will pay me no never mind (whatever that means).

My plan is simple and you will kick yourself for not coming up with it on your own.

Put up a Big Sign at the Border that says…

Ø Anyone crossing this border illegally will instantly become United States Citizens.

Ø Anyone crossing this border illegally will be given Free Health Care.

Ø Anyone crossing this border illegally will be guaranteed their children will be given Free Elementary, Secondary and College Educations.

Ø Any adults crossing this border illegally will be given Free English as a Second Language Training.

Ø Anyone crossing this border illegally will be given more Welfare than they ever dreamed possible.

Ø Anyone crossing this border illegally will be given Food Stamps that will have no limitations regarding what they can be used for.

Ø Anyone crossing this border illegally will be given a Free Lexus.

The only thing that the Good Ole USofA will require from our new citizens to gain permanent access to all of these Goodies is they will be…

Required to Live in Chicago

All those who want to go live in Chicago need only cross the border and get on the Bus.

Every single one of those Undocumented Citizens is certain to cross the border and get on the bus…Or are they certain to?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Come Home When The Street Lights Come On

What are the chances that a baby of today (or into the foreseeable future) will get such Return Home Instructions as laid out in the Subject Above?

If you think the chances are good, you must not be aware of the Baby Tracker App and what it portends for the babies of the future.

I did not make up the Baby Tracker App. It is a real product and it is the Modern Parent’s opportunity to Know Everything about Everything concerning Anything about their darling little baby during the years it will take for the little darling to grown up and become a Teen-Age Know It All.

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You don’t believe me? Check me out…

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.nighp.babytracker_android&hl=en

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The smaller print below comes from the Baby Tracker App Web Page...

Designed by busy parents, for busy parents, Baby Tracker offers a simple, streamlined way to track your baby’s daily habits, health, and exciting “firsts” of those precious early days and months. Log feedings, diaper changes, and sleep patterns with a quick one-handed tap, then feel free to go back later and add details and even photos. 

With Baby Tracker App you will be on top of it all!

 Feeding (Breastfeeding) Logger

 Diaper Logger

 Sleep Logger

 Diaper Change Tracker

 Sleep Schedule

 Growth Tracker

 Milestone Logger

>Make custom categories for baby’s first smile, first tooth, or first step

>Snap a picture on the spot, or add one from your existing library

>Use photos for a gallery-style album of baby’s goals and achievements

>Create an entry with a quick tap, or include journal notes for more detail

 Health Logger

 Feed (Breastfeeding), Diaper and Sleep Logger Data Interpretation

 Feed (Breastfeeding), Diaper and Sleep Log Data Sync

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Here is one of the Comments on the Baby Tracker App web page...

“I don’t know how people had infants before this thing existed. I use it to track my daughter’s sleep, meals and diaper changes, and since it lets you share data with multiple users, my husband sits at his desk at work and tracks her too—he’ll text me “great nap” the second she’s up.”

The Husband Sits At His Desk And Watches This App! Aghhhhh! This is definitely overkill!

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Fella’s ability to see into the future sees what is coming...

Boss...Sidney, something is amiss with you recent performance. You are missing deadlines. You sales volume has fallen like a rock. You are not returning your clients phone calls, emails, tweets or text messages. Heck, you are not returning my phone calls, emails, tweets or text messages. You can tell me, son, what’s wrong with you?

Sidney...Sarah and I have had a baby (We named him “SaveTheWorld” ... ”Savior” for short) and using our Baby Tracker App we are tracking and recording every breastfeeding, poop, nap, growth spurt, every ounce of weight change, first smile, first step, first fall, every fall, every get up from every fall, every emergence of every tooth and achievement of every established goal we set for our baby.

Boss...This is unacceptable! You are no longer productive in the workplace! I am going to have to Fire You because you are no longer of any benefit to this company.

Sidney...You can’t let me go. Baby Tracker App’s Management foresaw this possibility and has a bevy of lawyers ready to sue your Baby Hating Butt.

Boss...This is awful! I can see the darkness at the end of the tunnel. My only recourse is to shut down this company and let go the 12,567 associates it employs.

Sidney...I am very sorry to hear what you just said. I hate to be the reason why all my co-workers will lose their jobs but I will never give up my Baby Tracker App! I do understand perfectly that you have no choice other than to shut down the company, however, you should not despair completely because SaveTheWorld (Savior for short) will repair the damage when he grows up and Saves the World.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sometimes Some Of You Think I Make Some Things Up In The Cause Of Foolishness. That’s Silly. Why Should I Go To the Trouble to Make Things Up When There Are So Many Silly People All Around Us Being Taken Seriously As They Spout Their Silliness In All Directions?

This Blog Posting will be rather short.

Here is an excerpt from an article in the Wall Street Journal by Peggy Noonan about Gender-Neutral Pronouns…

Offices and schools are being forced to grapple with all the new Gender-Neutral Pronouns.

Here a handy guide from a website purporting to help Human-Resources Departments in midsize businesses. It is headlined…

Gender Neutral Pronouns—What They Are & How to Use Them

He/She—Zie, Sie, Ey, Ve, Tey, E

Him/Her—Zim, Sie, Em, Ver, Ter, Em

His/Her—Zir, Hir, Eir, Vis, Tem, Eir

Himself/Herself—Zieself, Hirself, Eirself, Verself, Terself, Emself

I don’t know what they are talking about.

I hope I will always be smart enough to never be “smart” enough to ever know what they are talking about.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

ReDo...Undeniable Fact … We Need A Law for Everything

There are several reasons why I am repeating this Blog Posting from August 12, 2009. In no particular order the several reasons are:

• My Dear Reader Analytics Tracking System tells me that every one of you who has ever read it has forgotten that you ever read it.
• I contend that my Little-Read Book, Foolishness…Or Is It? is the World’s Greatest Bathroom Book. Since I am a believer in what I contend, I keep a copy in my bathroom. I was just in my bathroom for some reason or other and I read this Posting and I chuckled all over again several time and I wanted to give each of you a chance chuckle several times.
• The Posting is just plain funny.
• The Posting makes fun of our Judicial System and our Judicial System never ceases to Amaze and Confuse me and I wanted to give each of you a chance to be Amazed and Confused.

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Here it is…

For months now in the state of Georgia we have been subjected to an ongoing news story that went as follows…

• In 1989 a “deadbeat dad” was ordered to reimburse the state for public assistance for a son he had been told was his.
• In 2000 DNA tests proved he was not the father.
• In June of 2008 a judge sentenced said “deadbeat dad” to jail because he was ruled to be in arrears for $10,263 in child-support obligations, even though the judge was well aware that he was not the father of the child.
• He stayed in jail till July 2009 (that’s thirteen months) when the judge who originally sentenced him to jail ruled he was, “no longer responsible for paying any amount of child support.”
• The state’s Department of Human Services has said it will propose legislation next year to make sure what happened in this case will not happen again.

This is really interesting … We need legislation to prevent fathers who have been proven not to be fathers from having to pay for the support of children that they did not father.

Since our Legislative System appears to be determined to pass a law for every possible possibility, are we now going to see laws passed like the following? …

• Persons who have not robbed banks will no longer be required to reimburse banks that they did not rob.
• Persons who have not watered their lawns in excess of country watering restrictions will no longer have to pay fines for watering their lawns in excess of country watering restrictions.
• Persons who have not come in repeatedly late for work can no longer be fired for coming in repeatedly late for work.

In a recent interview one of our Federal Judges was quoted as saying, “I had always wanted to be a king, but I decided I really wanted to have unlimited power, so I decided to become a Federal Judge in the United States Judicial System.”

OK, I admit I made up the above quote about the Judge King … Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

You Can’t Be Serious?! You Say You Are Serious. Seriously? Since You Are Serious, We Are In Serious Trouble!

“The bias against black robots is a result of bias against African-Americans,” the lead researcher explained to his interviewer. He added, “It is amazing to see how people who had no prior interaction with robots show racial bias towards them.”

I will not make the assumption that, after you have read the above paragraph, you know where this Blog Posting is headed. I’m posting the Blog Posting and I’m not sure what I am saying or am going to say.

Oh well, here goes…

White Robots Are Racist!

The robots themselves aren’t Racist but rather people who make the robots white are Racist. (Is this Blog Posting making any headway along the road to clarity?)

Did I just hear you say, “Not much”?

Well, prepare to be amazed. Here’s a real headline from a television network that insists its article is Really Real News…

Robot Racism? Yes, says a study showing human’s biases extend to robots.

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Fella has recovered enough to ask a question…

“Is Everything That Is White Racist?”

Did I just hear you say yes? Did I just hear you elaborate on that “yes” by saying that the computer screen I am writing this blog on is white, therefore, it is a Racist Computer Screen? 

Did I just hear you say from the bottom of that hole you are digging yourself into that, if the computer screen wanted to prove that it was not Racist, it would change itself to a Black Computer Screen?

Here comes my follow-up question…Since the letters in this Blog Posting are black, to be seen they would have to change themselves into white lettering, if the screen were changed to black. Once the lettering became white, would the white lettering be Racist because it is White?

I can see that you are shaken in your conviction so I will again ask…

“Is Everything That Is White Racist?”

I say no, for example, there’s a pretty good reason why most home appliances are white and it’s because it’s a neutral color that goes with any decor. By the same token, white robots go with anything. 

(I can see that the above paragraph did not close out this discussion.)

Maybe the people who made the first robots didn’t even pick the color white it was just that the washing machine they cut up to get the project started happened to be a White Washing Machine. It wasn’t a plot. It wasn’t a conspiracy. It was just handy (and white).

***************

OK, since this foolishness is already silly, let’s play What If...

• What if they had made their robots Brown? Would UPS be suing?
• What if they had made their robots Orange? Would the Orange Growers of Florida be throwing rotten tomatoes at them and their robots?
• What if they had made their robots Green? Would people from Ireland be charging through our airports with pitchforks in their outraged hands?

Are we being stirred up by people who just like to stir things up? Here are a few things to think about as I desperately try to extricate myself from this Blog Posting… 

• White People aren’t actually white. They’re a variety of pinks and flesh tones. 
• Black People aren’t actually black. 
• Native Americans aren’t actually red.
• Asians aren’t actually yellow. 
• White Castle serves hamburgers to everybody. 
• A White Sale isn’t an attempt to make slavery right. 
• White Water Rafting is open to all colors of people.
• Slappy White was not arrested for assault.

Boy, am I glad this one is over.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Feeling A Bit Bored? I’ve Got Something for You to Do. Get Out Your Walking Shoes And Go Protest Something Or Other.

Yes there is a web site on the Internet that allows you to select and plan what you would like to Protest. If you don’t have a burning desire to throw in with this week’s protest, throw in anyway. It is not important that you believe in what you are protesting about. It is only important that you join in and show the world that you care, even if you don’t care.

Here is a list of upcoming protests…

• Oregon … Never Again Rally Portland
• Missouri … Stand Up For Humanity KC – March, Rally, and Community Gathering
• New York … No Raids – Close The Camps – Abolish ICE!
• Washington DC … Rage Against the War Machine
• Utah … Global Climate Strike SLC
• Texas … Protest against Rio Grande LNG! Stop the Pipeline!
• California … SF Rally For Immigrant Rights And Against SB 1070!
• Nevada … Red Rage Sit In Protest at ICE Detainment
• The Official Animal Rights March 2019 / Washington DC
• New Mexico … Reclaiming Sacred Spaces: A March for Pueblo Liberation & Panel
• New York …. The Official Animal Rights March-NYC-2019
• Maryland … Climate Justice Now! Prioritizing Climate Action in 2020 and Beyond
• Colorado … Longmont Climate Crisis Rally!
• Michigan … Progressives in the Park 2019
• Kansas … Never Again is Now: Shut Down Rep. Sharice Davids’ Office
• Ohio … Never Again Action: Cleveland
• Wisconsin … Never Again Is Now: Wisconsin #JewsAgainstICE Protest
• California … March for Freedom: Never Again is Now
• Pennsylvania … 3rd Annual Stop Killing Us (SKU) March to DC!
• South Carolina … Youth Demand Action Summit 2019
• Utah … Rally against SLCPD’s violence!
• Pennsylvania … Protecting Immigrants’ Rights in PA
• California … Global Climate Strike March Los Angeles
• New York … Know Your Rights Training for Friends & Activists (ICE Raids)
• Oregon … The Official Animal Rights March Portland 2019
• Michigan … Vigil to Abolish ICE in Kent County
• Washington … Refuse Fascism Seattle Meeting: The Trump/Pence Regime Must Go!
• Florida … Broward Climate Protest Arizona … U.N. International Day of Peace
• California … Rally: Rep. Scott Peters – support the Green New Deal! San Diego
• Rhode Island … Millions March against M.V. August 31, 2019
• California … Peace Strike for Climate 8-7-19
• New Mexico … Medical Freedom March
• Arkansas … No Iran War/Anti-Imperialism Peace Protests
• New Hampshire … The March for Children and Families
• Florida … It’s Fascism Y’all – Seeds of Unity
• California … The Official Animal Rights March – Los Angeles
• Michigan … 2019 Second Amendment March
• Illinois … The Official Animal Rights March – Chicago 8-24-19

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Try To Learn A New Word Every Day. Some Of Them I Try To Unlearn As Soon As I Learn Them.

Today my New Word is “Fave”. Being Sly, Cunning and Alert I quickly caught on that this was short for “Favorite”.

I wish I had not caught on so quickly. As soon as I realized that I had figured out such a Cool Modern Word I started to fear people were going to start calling me “Dude”.

Actually I knew I was in trouble a long time ago when I figured out that “Celeb” was short for “Celebrity”.

Oh well, at least I’m not famous because then I would be a “Celebrity Dude”.

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We are all well aware that the Internet was invented to…

Ø Not let us relax without being interrupted constantly by a Notification about Useless Information that just popped into our Smartphones.

Ø Allowing you to worry about things that you can’t do anything about but worry about like a Ferry Boat overturning 6,872 miles away from where you are and killing a bunch of people who you would never ever have met in your entire life.

Ø Letting you know that you are terribly out of style because you just bought new jeans and you are ashamed that you could not afford holes in your new jeans so you bought the cheaper ones without holes and you are about to get to work with your scissors, your wire brush and your hammer so you can put holes in them and you are praying to God in heaven that no one will be the wiser that your holes are Cheap Wearer Created Holes and not Cool Store Bought Holes.

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Oh yea, back to how “Fave” jumped out at me…

My phone just showed me an ad that was headlined…

Faves from Ellen DeGeneres!

Right next to the cutest picture of Ellen you ever saw are these words…

Ellen’s Fave List

My back-to-school faves for a cool school year.

Love,

(Ellen’s Cool Signature)

Ellen’s First Fave: Wonder Nation Clear Backpack…Stylish & see-through, so you’ll know if you forgot to pack Timmy’s lunch. (I wonder if it would work just as well if you child was not named Timmy but was named Papoose?)

Ellen’s Second Fave: Boon Bento Lunch Box…Shaped like snail so kids will have the most adorable lunch possible. (Maybe that’s why I turned out the way I did. I can’t ever remember eating even one Adorable Lunch at St. Anthony of Padua Grammar School.)

Ellen’s Third Fave: ZIPIT Wildings Pencil Case…Fun moms get their kids fun pencil cases. That’s all there is to it. (If my Mother were still here, she would be proud that she was not a Fun Mom and I would love her even more for standing her ground.)

It’s hard to imagine how Timmy and Papoose will not get all A’s with all these Cool Ellen Faves.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

How Did We Get To This Point?

The Internet loves Lists. Any day of the week you can spend gobs of time (probably your whole day) reading through Lists.

I just stopped pecking this Blog Posting and went to the Internet to find 3 Lists…
•10 Bizarre Claims That Humans Didn’t Originate on Earth
•10 People Who Vanished Only To Mysteriously Reappear
•10 Animals With Cannibalistic Sex Habits

The list that caught my eye and prompted me to start this Blog Posting was… 

The NFL's Most Hated Players Ever, Ranked

This list struck me as kind of stupid and a waste of time but I wasted my time and read through it.

When I got to # 22 (of 40) I was saddened and shocked by the last 4 words in Tim Tebow’s write up…
“On the surface, Tebow seems like an impossible person to hate, but there was plenty of disdain for him during his time in the NFL. Tebow was mostly hated for the hype surrounding him, but also drew scorn for being a devout Christian.”

How did we get to the point where Being a Devout Christian has become a reason for Scorn in the Good Ole USofA?

Would I kid u? 
Smartfella

Never Trust A Papoose

Friday I lost a Hearing Aid. I have looked in all the places it could possibly be but I have about given up. Change that to I have given up. 😢

One of the places where I could have lost it was Kroger. After I looked at all the places in Kroger where it could have been I went to Customer Service and got in line.

My plan was to ask if it had been turned in to their Lost and Found and, if not turned in, leave a note with their Crack Staff with my Name and Phone Number on it in case it is turned in later.

As I stood in line I started to get an uneasy feeling about just how efficient Kroger’s Crack Customer Service Staff was…

•         The girl behind the counter had a tattoo on her neck. 
•            As I got closer I saw she had several tattoos on her arms.
•         There was no symmetry in her choice of tattoos…a Chicken Head, Chinese Writing, a Hockey Stick, something that looked like it could have been a Frog or a Lizard, etc.

When I got to the head of the line I began to feel reassured. 

She had a very pleasant smile, she seemed interested and sympathetic to my tale of woe and she had nothing hanging from her nose.

She took my piece of paper with my Name and Phone Number on it and pledged to call me if my hearing aid came into Kroger’s Lost and Found.

Then, as I turned away, I noticed her name on her name badge. It was Papoose! I got a sinking feeling. What kind of person has Papoose for a name? With or without tattoos can a Papoose Person be trusted?

I slowly walked back to my car with a growing feeling of apprehension.

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Two day later I went back to Kroger to see if any miracles had occurred while I was away.

The nice untattooed middle aged lady behind the Customer Service Counter left no stone unturned but she not only did not have my hearing aid but she found no traces of my Note with my Name and Phone Number on it.

Never Trust A Papoose.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella