Sunday, September 01, 2019

Come Home When The Street Lights Come On


What are the chances that a baby of today (or into the foreseeable future) will get such Return Home Instructions as laid out in the Subject Above?

If you think the chances are good, you must not be aware of the Baby Tracker App and what it portends for the babies of the future.

I did not make up the Baby Tracker App. It is a real product and it is the Modern Parent’s opportunity to Know Everything about Everything concerning Anything about their darling little baby during the years it will take for the little darling to grown up and become a Teen-Age Know It All.
***************
You don’t believe me? Check me out…
***************
The smaller print below comes from the Baby Tracker App Web Page...
Designed by busy parents, for busy parents, Baby Tracker offers a simple, streamlined way to track your baby’s daily habits, health, and exciting “firsts” of those precious early days and months. Log feedings, diaper changes, and sleep patterns with a quick one-handed tap, then feel free to go back later and add details and even photos. 

With Baby Tracker App you will be on top of it all!

Feeding (Breastfeeding) Logger
Diaper Logger
Sleep Logger
Diaper Change Tracker
Sleep Schedule
Growth Tracker
Milestone Logger
>Make custom categories for baby’s first smile, first tooth, or first step
>Snap a picture on the spot, or add one from your existing library
>Use photos for a gallery-style album of baby’s goals and achievements
>Create an entry with a quick tap, or include journal notes for more detail
Health Logger
Feed (Breastfeeding), Diaper and Sleep Logger Data Interpretation
Feed (Breastfeeding), Diaper and Sleep Log Data Sync

***************
Here is one of the Comments on the Baby Tracker App web page...
“I don’t know how people had infants before this thing existed. I use it to track my daughter’s sleep, meals and diaper changes, and since it lets you share data with multiple users, my husband sits at his desk at work and tracks her too—he’ll text me “great nap” the second she’s up.”

The Husband Sits At His Desk And Watches This App! Aghhhhh! This is definitely overkill!
***************
Fella’s ability to see into the future sees what is coming...

Boss...Sidney, something is amiss with you recent performance. You are missing deadlines. You sales volume has fallen like a rock. You are not returning your clients phone calls, emails, tweets or text messages. Heck, you are not returning my phone calls, emails, tweets or text messages. You can tell me, son, what’s wrong with you?

Sidney...Sarah and I have had a baby (We named him “SaveTheWorld” ... ”Savior” for short) and using our Baby Tracker App we are tracking and recording every breastfeeding, poop, nap, growth spurt, every ounce of weight change, first smile, first step, first fall, every fall, every get up from every fall, every emergence of every tooth and achievement of every established goal we set for our baby.

Boss...This is unacceptable! You are no longer productive in the workplace! I am going to have to Fire You because you are no longer of any benefit to this company.

Sidney...You can’t let me go. Baby Tracker App’s Management foresaw this possibility and has a bevy of lawyers ready to sue your Baby Hating Butt.

Boss...This is awful! I can see the darkness at the end of the tunnel. My only recourse is to shut down this company and let go the 12,567 associates it employs.

Sidney...I am very sorry to hear what you just said. I hate to be the reason why all my co-workers will lose their jobs but I will never give up my Baby Tracker App! I do understand perfectly that you have no choice other than to shut down the company, however, you should not despair completely because SaveTheWorld (Savior for short) will repair the damage when he grows up and Saves the World.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella


5 comments:

Bobby Tony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

One of your best.

Pity the poor child.

Mike McMain said...

The Baby App brought us Beto O'Rourke and AOC.

Anonymous said...

You said it, definitely an over kill😄

Anonymous said...

So, what happened to performance evaluations, with warnings ? Improve or you’ll be terminated for cause!

Wait – that happened in our generation. This is now the Millennial Generation.

Or, develop a Boss App where it requires the employee to log in actual work??