Negotiating With Iran or Why Bother?

Let your mind's Eye (whatever that is) wander with Fella for a minute. Let's say it's Super Bowl Sunday. The coaches for the 2 teams are on the field in heated negotiations about...

Ø What will the inflation of the ball be.

Ø How many players can be on the field at one time.

Ø How long the game will last.

The fans are sitting in the stands saying to their collective selves, Why are the coaches wasting their time? The Commissioner of the NFL has already...

Ø Flatly & publically stated that they will not be allowed to use a football.

Ø He has forbidden any player from leaving the locker room.

Ø He has personally disconnected the electricity from the game clock & said he will not plug it back in.

There you go again saying there I go again being silly, pecking out foolishness & wasting your time...Or am I?

This is what is happening in our negotiations with Iran. The real power in Iran is the Ayatollah. He is like a bearded Lola. Remember the Broadway Play Damn Yankees?…

Whatever Lola Wants.

Lola Gets.

My newspaper tells me the following...

"But after more than 18 months of direct negotiations, Western officials said there are signs Mr. Khamenei hasn’t empowered his negotiators to give ground on the few remaining sticking points.

These include the pace at which United Nations sanctions on Iran would be removed, the scope of Tehran’s future nuclear work, and the ability of international inspectors to access the country’s nuclear and military sites."

Few Remaining Sticking Points? Huh? These 3 things look to me like they are the reasons why the "negotiations" were ever started in the first place...

Ø Sanctions removed.

Ø Future bomb making activity.

Ø Inspections about bomb making activity.

I just had a visit from one of our crack negotiators. He was looking over my shoulder as I pecked out this Blog Posting. He got really excited & red faced as he shouted at me, "What do you mean we have not made any progress of substance? You don't know what you are talking about! We have made a lot of progress! We agreed what time we would break for lunch! We agreed not to hold meetings while Iran's Soccer Team was playing a match! We agreed that our respective little flags on the negotiating table would be of the same size & height! Fella, you ought to have your blogging license pulled!"

In the Subject of this bit of Foolishness I wrote... "Why Bother?". Now you know why I bothered to say, "Why Bother?". It's because the only guy who can make any decisions did not Bother to attend the negotiation meetings.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(465)

A Cry From The Masses To Lawyers

The above subject uses the term "The Masses". That sort of indicates that there are more of us than them. Does it sometimes seem to you that there are more of them (lawyers) than us (masses)?

We are constantly confused by Lawyer Terminology. They like it that way. It gives them power over us.

In this blog posting I will point out a fine example of their never ending Conspiracy To Confuse...

• Back 1970 to 1972 the Chicago Seven were tried because of all the Consternation & Violence that they orchestrated during the 1968 Democratic Convention.
• They were eventually (here's where the confusion starts) acquitted of Riot Conspiracy Charges but convicted of Inciting A Riot Charges.
• They were also convicted of 175 counts of Contempt of Court & sentenced to between 2 to 4 years in prison & fined $5,000 each.
• Then the other shoe dropped (in Legal World there is always another shoe).
• None of them served any time in prison because in 1972 a Court of Appeals overturned the criminal convictions & eventually most of the contempt charged were dropped.

Once again our crack Judicial System wasted a lot of time & money getting a useless conviction…aka: No Where.

Does this depress you? I'll try & cheer you up by telling you that not a single one of them was given a Letter of Commendation for Orchestrating Consternation & Violence during the 1968 Democratic Convention...Or were they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(333)

Lagniappe: Many say that Shakespeare said… Kill All The Lawyers. I could not verify that he said this using Google but, for the sake of silly, let's say he did. The Fella thinks there is one lawyer that ought not be killed by Shakespeare. All the lawyers that I know that see this are now wondering if they are the one Shakespeare should let be. To each of you I say... Yes, you are the one.

Senator Chuck Schumer Is A Real Person–Part 2

For a while I was not sure Senator Chuck Schumer truly existed.

Originally published February 20, 2009 | 09:13 AM
It seems like every time the Majority Leader of our Senate, Harry Reid, (I'll call him Harry from here on out) steps up to a podium filled with microphones there is Senator Chuck Schumer (I'll call him Chuck from here on out) standing behind ole Harry.
Chuck stands there and smiles, shakes his head, looks around and smiles some more. One day I noticed Chuck's movements seemed to be sort of mechanical and repetitious. Then I noticed that Chuck sometimes smiled at the wrong time. It seemed he was not paying close attention to what Harry was saying. This bothered me and I determined to find out if there really was a Chuck.
I got into my car and started driving to Washington D.C. On the drive up, my mind was spinning with possibilities. About half way to D.C., I was toying with a likely scenario for this quandary of mine…
Ø There really is not a Chuck.
Ø Harry felt a need to have loyal back-there support whenever he spoke to us folks back home.
Ø He thought of when he had gone to a Disneyland and he had seen those mechanical Disney creations standing all over the place directing him to restrooms, exits, rides, etc.
Ø Sometimes they were animals and sometimes they are very realistic looking people things.
Ø Harry had gone to the Imaginers at Disneyland and told them of his dilemma and they created a standup loyal supporter that looked like a Senator and they named him Chuck.
By the time I got to the outskirts of D.C. I felt fairly certain that this is what had happened but I was determined to find out for sure.
I found out when the next time Harry was going to be making a momentous announcement to the media (actually this happens every 53 minutes). I disguised myself as a walking potted plant and snuck around to the side of the podium as Harry was speaking. There it was! I had confirmation of my beliefs! Chuck was behind Harry, as usual, and there was a tether rope that connected Chuck from his belt buckle to the back of Harry belt thru a hole in Harry's suit coat. Chuck was on wheels and every time Harry went anywhere, Chuck was sure to follow.
Right then and there I decided to hold a news conference of my own to tell the folks back home the real truth about the connection between Harry and Chuck. I thought that the best place to hold such a news conference was in the imitation office of the imitation Chuck. I gathered several reporters who were too far back in the gaggle surrounding Harry's ongoing news conference to really hear anything being said. I led them to imitation Chuck's office and, when I opened the door, there was the real Chuck taking a nap on a couch.
The end result of all of this is I was right but I was also wrong. There is a real Chuck (who sleeps a lot) and there is also an imitation Chuck (who follows Harry everywhere he goes).
Later I asked Harry about how this amazing scenario had come about and he was very open about the whole history of the Chuck on Wheels. One very interesting thing he told me was that the Disney people had, at first, offered to sell him a spare Goofy on Wheels but Harry smiled and said, with a twinkle in his eye, "I was too smart to fall for that. No one would believe that Goofy could be elected Senator".
Would I kid u?
Smartfella?
One of my dear readers sent this...

Saving Newsprint

I recently read a news article about Biotech that contained 768 words. A subject like Biotech can be confusing & this article proved to be just that...Very Confusing.

Much of the confusion was caused by the fact that it had lots of numbers/statistics in it. The more we analyze, try to comprehend &/or make comparisons with other numbers the more confusing news articles become.

This particular article had 42 sets of numbers (percentages, dollars, years, multiples of annual revenues) in it. It was awful.

I was worn out & confused when I finished & did not understand most of what I had just read. Being one who always wants to improve the world around me, I decided to come up with a way to make articles of this ilk (just love the word "ilk") better.

I decided humankind would be better served if we would just get rid of the words & keep the numbers.

Here is the Biotech Article without the words...

$21,000,000,000, $6,600,000,000, 2006, 2013, $7,000,000,000, 5.7%, $17,000,000,000, 38%, $8,300,000,000, $5,200,000,000, 51%, 14.5%, 500, 2%, 1991, 2006, B2, $6,600,000, 2008, $6,000,000, 2009, $.57, $261.25, 2011, 60%, 2014, $65.66, 11x, $49.65, 5x, $28.41, 9x, $20.97, 29x, $15.93, 4x, $13.35, 4x, $13.21, 12x, $12.22, 3x.

There it is. You now understand as much of the article as if you had read all the words but you did not have to read all the words...

Think how much time you saved!

You are very welcome. I always like to help out where I can.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(261)

Once Upon A Time We Used To Change The Names To Protect The Innocent. Now We Go To Great Lengths To Protect The Guilty.

Recently an alleged bad guy (I hope I am not jumping to conclusions by calling him a bad guy) tried to abduct a small child. He was caught on camera as he ran away with his alleged victim.

Actually he was not "caught" by the camera after the local news outlet got finished protecting him. Below is a still picture from the actual video...

I know I'm The Noticer & you are not but did you see what this blog is toying around with?

You did not? I am so disappointed in you!…

They blocked out the facial features of the alleged bad guy!

If the news channel's spokesman were asked why they blocked out the alleged facial features of the alleged bad guy, would the spokesman have said something like…

"In the Good Ole USofA we are innocent until we are proven guilty. Besides, if we had shown his face, the police might have apprehended him.

What if his neighbors had seen his face? Would they have told the police it was him? Worse yet, would they have thought ill of him?"

Sometimes I experience brief moments of fear that I will run out of silliness to write about. In the future, when this fear starts to come on me, I'm going to say to myself…

"Relax, fella, it ain't gonna happen. Remember the alleged bad guy running away with his alleged small victim. There's a world of untapped foolishness coming your way."

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(274)

Running Into The Street Screaming

I am spending too much of my life on the phone on hold waiting for online "help".

These people are paid to keep me to be happy, are they not? I know what they are doing instead of picking up their end of the phone & helping me. They are sitting around drinking their Fruity Drinks With Little Umbrellas in them. That's exactly what they are doing!

I think deep down they really do want to help me because they went to all the trouble to make a recording that tells me over & over that my call is important to them.

What I don't understand is, if the above paragraph is true, why do they play such Awful Music Awfully Loud at me while I patiently wait?

I have been persecuted by this assault on my hearing & sanity for a long time now but was not prompted to blog about it until recently because I started noticing a significant number of people running out of their houses screaming things like... "I can't take it any longer" or "Why do they do this to me?!" or "Aghaaaaaaaaa!".

I assigned the responsibility of finding out why these people are acting this way to one of my best Investigative Investigators & it was not long before I had the answer...

"Sir, the reason the Awful Music is played Awfully Loud is that they are hoping you will hang up the phone & run out into the street screaming things like... "I can't take it any longer" or "Why do they do this to me?!" or "Aghaaaaaaaaa!".

If you do hang up, then they can keep sipping their Fruity Umbrella Drinks.

Also, their assigned quota is only 2 calls handled per day &, since a disconnection is counted as a call completion, they have probably already reached their assigned quotas &, therefore, they have no vested interest in taking your call."

I make my Investigative Investigators address me as "Sir" because I pay them well & they are afraid of me because they need the job since the Major News Networks stopped investigating anything & started reporting everything.  

(I've spent hours trying to get the link below to work. If it does not work, Plan B is I am going to send an ordinary old fashioned email to each of you with the mp3 file attached. Plan C is, if Plan B does not work, take my word for it the Awful Music Is Awful!)

Click here to hear the Awful Music Played Awfully Loud for yourself...

..\..\..\..\Music\AwfullyLoudEM.mp3

If you are a masochist & want to experience what I am gripping about, you can call the Social Security Administration (800 772 1213) & experience the Awful Music Played Awfully Loud up close & personal.

After being asked a bunch of questions & threatened a couple of times, you can ask to speak to a Representative & THEN YOU WILL BE PUT ON HOLD. I don't think there is any chance that you will not be put on hold because they always put you on hold because they are sitting around drinking Fruity Umbrella Drinks.

If you really want to make the SSA call, you do so your own peril but, please remember to look both ways before you run out in the street screaming.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(563)  

If You Have A Cluttered Mind, You Will Clutter Your Surroundings & You Will Accomplish Little During Your Lifetime

There are few words for me to peck into this Blog Posting. I need only insert the picture below & let you come to your own realization about just how wrong the above subject really is.

The picture above was Albert Einstein's Office the day he died.

-------------------------

Allow me to try a new Subject...

A Neat, Tidy & Uncluttered Office Reveals A Person Who Accomplished Many Great Things In Life & Ended Up Being Admired By All

The above picture was Adolph Hitler's Office.

Looks Like I'm Wrong Again

Would I kid u?
Smartfella
(115)

If Only We Were This Socially Advanced Back Then, We Could Have Saved The Buggy Whip Manufacturers

The Buggy Whip Manufacturers were swept into the Dustbin Of History.

By the time the same fate was about to befall the Coal Tenders on railroad engines we had advanced to the point where we saved them & they were allowed to stay on the job (doing nothing) after the evil diesel engines tried to sweep them into the Dustbin of History.

We have learned from our past mistakes & this time around we are going to save the many employees of Automotive Body Repair Shops in the Good Ole USofA...

"Widespread embrace of self-driving vehicles could eliminate 90% of all auto accidents in the U.S., prevent up to $190 billion in damages and health-costs annually and save thousands of lives, according to a new report by consulting firm McKinsey & Co."

Mass adoption of these Self-Driving Cars (to be known as "Autonomous Vehicles") will be upon us in 15 years. If we don't act now to become pro-active about this impending disaster, millions of body shop employees will be forced onto the unemployment lines & they & their children will be homeless on the streets of the Good Ole USofA.

Thank heaven our Senate is taking action even as I peck this out...

Ø Senator Foghorn Leghorn has proposed legislation that will require every owner of an Autonomous Vehicle to employ a former body shop employee to sit in each vehicle.

Ø The particulars of their employment are still being worked out by Senator Leghorn & his Save All Jobs No Matter What The Cost Sub-Committee but here is what we know thanks to an anonymous source on the committee who asked not to be identified because he is betraying a sworn oath he gave to Senator Leghorn that he would not become an anonymous source & do what he is doing anonymously.

Ø The non-drivers will be paid double the Minimum Wage, which is expected to be $75 per hour in 15 years because we all know that a family of 4 cannot be raised on a mere $75/hour.

Ø The non-drivers must be furnished with the latest Tablet Computer of their choice by the vehicle owner.

Ø These Tablet Computers will be loaded with a full complement of Premium Computer Games.

During his latest news conference the Honorable Senator was asked what was the reason the non-drivers were to be given access to the Computer Games. The anger was apparent on the Senator's face when he heard this question but he remained composed & responded as if the reporter's question was not as inane as he knew it to be by saying, "Son. Why, son. The games are essential because these non-drivers won't have anything to do. Without these games it is certain that many of them will go insane from boredom. The last thing we need in this country is a bunch of insane non-drivers in these self-driving vehicles. Why, they might start trying to push something or step on something or, heaven forbid, start trying to drive these non-driver vehicles! Then where would we be? I'll tell you where. We would be right back where we were before the advent of the driverless cars. We would start having vehicle collisions. Then we would have need for body shops & there would be no body shop workers to work in these body shops because all the former body shop workers are already gainfully employed in the front of these driverless cars where they have nothing to do!".

Once again Senator Leghorn has displayed his ability to make the obvious obvious.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(617)

What Is It? Is It A Tax? No, It’s A Penalty. Wait It Is A Tax. Oh, I Now See What It Is. It’s As Clear As Can Be. How Could I have Missed It?

Attention, Liberal Leaning Readers of My Blog…

I am going to do something I don’t normally do in my blog. I am going to use the word, “Obamacare”. Do not not read any further because you see that word. I am not attacking your guy. I am attacking the Silly World your guy & you & I live in.

In the beginning we were told that those who did not get Health Insurance were not going to have a Tax levied against them but were going to be charged a Penalty.

Then the case went to our Supreme Court & the Supreme Court said that those of us who did not get Health Insurance were not going to have a Penalty levied against them but were going to be charged a Tax.

Time heals all confusion. Recently I was reading my trusty newspaper & my trusty newspaper straightened it all out for me & now I am going to straighten it all out for you…

The Penalty-Not-A-Tax

Which Became

A Tax-Not-A-Penalty

Is Now Officially Called

A “Tax/Penalty”

Is this a great country or what?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(225)

CNN Is On Top Of The Story! ... Or Are They?

I watched a news piece on CNN yesterday about Jihadi John.
As part of the piece CNN interviewed British people who knew him & in reporting what they said about him CNN used the words... Kind, Gentle, Humble, Grateful, Intelligent, Somewhat Quiet & Respectful.
There must be some other adjectives that CNN could have found to use, if they tried a little harder.
CNN also said, while Jihadi John was still in England, British authorities were keeping tabs on him as a terrorist suspect & he was upset saying he was being harassed.
If a headline to this "being harassed" part of the story were written it might look like this... "Terrorist Upset Because British Authorities Are Treating Him As If He Were A Terrorist".
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
(142)

In The Ole Days Some Of Us Thought It Was The New Days

In the late 1960's I was a traveler with Ford Motor Company. The company gave us $5.50 Food Allowance per day. As meager as such an allowance seems by today's standards I usually did alright.

Some of us tried to stretch the envelope by staying in motel rooms that cost $14 a night instead of our usual $9 per night accommodations but Ford caught on to what we were doing & put a stop to that wasteful spending, in no uncertain terms.

We were called into the District Office on a Monday morning before we headed out to our zones (very unusual meeting time) & told, in no uncertain terms, to get back where we belonged ($9 per night accommodations).

Those were the Ole Days. Today some upper crust hotels are charging $40 just for the use of Wi-Fi in their rooms.

Such hotels are the ones that used to cost $14 per night but now cost $200 per night. Thank heaven the $9 per night hotels are the still out there but now they cost $90 per night.

The strange thing is, if you spend $90 per night, the Wi-Fi is free but, if you spend $200 per night, the Wi-Fi costs $40 per night.

Guess this is what is called New Math... $90 is $90 but $200 is $240.

------------------------

On a related note (whatever that means), recently we stayed at a nice hotel & while checking in I asked the desk clerk if we received a free breakfast in the morning. The very nice young man (& he was very nice) looked me right in my cheap eyes & said, "No, sir. We are a full service hotel".

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(300)

Regarding My Last Blog, Here Is An Entertaining Way Of Saying The Same Thing

If you are one that says, "I never watch Fox News", make an exception this time. This is simply a short but entertaining way of looking at what I looked at in my last blog posting... After You Die, You May Not Be Dead.

Read it or simply click on the 2 minute & 45 second video & sit back and enjoy Common Sense with a Chuckle Staring An Italian Grandmother...

http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/your-world-cavuto/2014/02/25/cavuto-there-ought-be-oops-label-govt

Would I or Neil's Grandmother kid u?

Smartfella

(95)

After You Die, You May Not Be Dead

Did the above catchy title catch your attention because it confused you? I didn't really mean to confuse you...Or did I?

The World Of Nutrition has been telling us that many of the things that were bad for our health for the last 40 years have turned out to be not bad for us after all. It now becoming apparent that many of these bad things are actually needed in a Healthy Diet (formerly known as an Unhealthy Diet).

In other words, those of us who died from eating things in the Unhealthy Diet just might not have died after all because the Unhealthy Diet Foods were actually good for us, therefore, they were probably still alive after they died.

If it were not for me, the above paragraph would be confusing but that's why I have just explained it all in such clear language. That's why I'm called ClearAsMudFella.

------------------------

Some supporting documentation to prove that this bit of Foolishness is based on fact...

Cholesterol May Not Be As Bad As We Once Thought:

http://news.yahoo.com/eat-fat-lose-weight-041634455.html (click & read as much as you can stand).

The U.S. Is About To Drop Its Decades-Old Warning Against Cholesterol:

http://www.theverge.com/2015/2/11/8018253/us-dietary-guidelines-drop-cholesterol-warning (click & read as much as you can stand).

------------------------

Self-proclaimed Food Babe Vani Hari said in The Atlantic (click & read as much as you can stand)... “There is just no acceptable level of any chemical to ingest, ever.”

Commenting on her comment a MattS wrote... "Since all foods, even 100% natural foods are completely made up of chemicals, what does Ms Vani Hari eat, unicorn farts?"

------------------------

On a personal note... A few months back my doctor put this Fella on Lipitor to reduce his cholesterol. The drop in my cholesterol levels has been so dramatic that it has become apparent that, after I die, they are going to have to take my cholesterol out of me & beat it to death with a stick.

If what I read in above link about cholesterol (2nd link) is true, higher levels of cholesterol are good for me. That formerly dangerous cholesterol may have been all that was keeping me alive & blogging. Now that my high cholesterol is gone, my Blog Sharp Mind may fade away. It may actually have started with this posting.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(396)

What The Heck Is She Doing? By Golly She Is Surfing The Internet! But She Can't Be Doing That There...Or Can She?

Look at the picture below...

This is the best quality I could get taking a picture of a pause in CSPAN.

You are looking at a very serious problem in the Good Ole USofA... People not paying attention while at work because they are distracted by Electronic Devices While At Work.

This one is Extra Special Awful…This happened in the Senate of the United States of America!

This Senator is The One In Charge for the Day...

Ø She is in control.

Ø She bangs that gavel when it is appropriate.

Ø She makes rulings that are very important.

Ø All the other Senators look up to her (while she is looking down).

Periodically she would look up for a moment & act like she was paying attention but I watched her for about 15 minutes & she looked down a lot more than she looked up.

I got so agitated about this that I drove to Washington, D.C. & confronted her in person.

Boy did she put me in my place!

She looked me right in my eyes & said, "I was texting my daughter about making herself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich when she got home from school because the Senators out on the floor were taking an extra long time talking about something or other. My daughter could very well be President of the United States someday. Do you have a prejudice against a female president? You are the kind of bigoted person that has been holding back female progress the last 600 years! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

The whole time she was berating me I was backing up. I was completely intimidated. I slithered away & drove back to Georgia. During the whole drive I kept looking in my rear view mirror fearing "they" were coming after me to take me away to put me away.

The whole time she was verbally backing me up, knowing how smart she was, I had fear that she had seen into my true secret inner prejudice against Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches. I really hate those things & I am ashamed of that hate because I know there is no justifiable basis for it.

I'm going to think long & hard before I confront another Senator, much less one who is the Mother of a future President.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(438)

Lagniappe: Above I stated that the attacking Senator was smart. Did you wonder how I knew she was smart, since I had only just met her? The answer is simple, I knew she was smart because she is a U.S. Senator & they are all smart...Or are they?

A Once Proud Industry Is Being Destroyed

A brief listing of some different types of News Dissemination...

Ø Town Criers walked through streets shouting at people.

Ø Native Americans used Smoke Signals.

Ø People used to stand on Tree Stumps (Boxes in England) to get their message out.

Ø Paul Revere got on his horse & galloped through our villages telling us the British Were Coming.

Eventually we migrated to Podiums. When there were dramatic announcements to be made, the announcement maker stood behind a Podium to let us all know what's going on, what's been agreed to, who we are going to war against, the sad news that a famous celebrity couple has split up, etc.

The people who made the Podiums were a proud lot but not anymore. Towns were built up around their factories. They used to have annual conventions and published their own magazine. Now they are being relegated to the Ash Heap of History along with the Buggy Whip Makers. Now we Tweet to a world chock full of Twits.

This was in my newspaper this past week...

"(Reuters) - President Barack Obama and Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif spoke by telephone on Thursday about counterterrorism and other issues, and agreed to meet, the White House National Security Council said on Twitter."

This is pretty important news. Does it not appear to you to be Stump (or Box in England) or Podium Worthy? Sadly this appears not be the case.

In the future those of us who are not Twits will be left in the dark.

Oh well, that's progress... Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(274)

I Feel Like A Failure

I self-published my book & to this day only 98 people have obtained a copy for their bathrooms.

American Sniper was also self-published & has sold hundreds of thousands of copies & the movie has 5 Academy Award Nominations.

As far as I know I do not have a single Academy Award Nomination.

I have too much pride to have ever begged anyone to buy my book but, on more than one occasion, I have cried myself to sleep about my lagging sales numbers.

I have begun to fight back. I have a new plan to boost sales. I am going to change my catchy sales enticer phrase from World's Greatest Bathroom Book to the Best Little Read Book On The Prairie.

That oughta do it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(137)

Let's Go This Way Cuz Harm's Way Is That Way

We now know that back in December the United Arab Emirates suspended participation in coalition air strikes against Isis because of concerns for their pilot's safety.

That's not the way it's supposed to be in war time. You are supposed to go where the enemy is & do you level best to break things. And yes, more often than not, it is not safe.

What if others throughout history had gone as far as the United Arab Emirates have gone to keep their pilots safe?...

Normandy... General Eisenhower's says to his staff on June 1, 1944, "Intelligence reports indicate that invading France might be fraught with difficulties. Let's wait till the Nazi's get tired of occupying France &/or they all get old & die. Our invasion would have a far better chance of success if we just practice a little patience."

Landing On The Moon... In 1969 bunch of those really smart people over in Houston decide to issue a press release. In it they say, "We have decided that there's are a lot of unknowns about trying to land on the moon. It also might be very dangerous. Instead, we are sending our Astronauts over to Death Valley to dig up some rocks over there."

Medical Evacuation By Helicopter In Vietnam... Our job was to go get wounded soldiers wherever they were. Many times this meant going into an active battle, landing & loading the wounded under fire. I don't think we would have retrieved many wounded if we had said to each other, "There's a lot of shooting going on in the landing zone where the wounded are. Let's go to that landing zone about a mile away. There are no wounded there but neither are there any bad guys that would be shooting at us. It will be a lot safer."

Tweet to UAE... No chit, Sherlock. Flying can be dangerous. May we also recommend that you bar your pilots from bouncing around in those Bouncy Blow Up Thingies at their children's birthday parties. Those things are accidents waiting to happen & it has also been reported that they are full of germs.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(372)

We Have A Hall Of Fame For Darn Near Everything

Believe it or not, there is such a thing as the...

United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame

Why there is a United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame I’m not quite sure but that’s not the reason for this Foolishness...Or Is It?. I'm more intrigued by the thinking of the United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame.

To my way of thinking a stick isn't much of anything. Not so with the United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame. They actually inducted The Stick into their Hall in 2008.

The Hall tells us this about The Stick...

Ø It may be the world’s oldest toy.

Ø Even animals play with sticks since we use them to play fetch with our dogs.

Ø Children find sticks an endless source of make-believe fun.

Ø When children pretend with sticks, they cultivate their creativity and develop their imaginations.

Ø Sticks can turn into swords, magic wands, majorette batons, fishing poles, and light sabers.

I would be willing to bet that the above bullets have been Politically Corrected. I say that because I feel certain the word “guns” was removed. This is very likely what the last bullet above originally looked like...

Ø Sticks can turn into swords, guns, magic wands, majorette batons, fishing poles, and light sabers.

The Stick's ability to be used as an imaginary gun is the reason why the United Nations, working hand in hand with our 18% Approval Rated Congress (I just saw where Congress moved up from 11% to 18%), got The Stick outlawed. My sources tell me that it was a unanimous vote because no one had the guts to come to the defense of such a pervasive evil.

I think sticking it to The Stick is the main contributing factor to the dramatic increase in dog suicides worldwide.

Looking past the sad fact that we are losing so many of man's best friends, I think we ought to look on the bright side...

Ø The outlawing of the Stick has had a major effect on bringing down the high unemployment rates that have been dogging our economy for years now.

Ø Millions of formerly unemployed Americans are now gainfully employed walking around the Good Ole USofA picking up sticks in order to get them out of circulation & being paid living wages with money we borrowed from China.

------------------------

I admit there is often Subject Repetition in my Blogging but it has to be that way because Stupid does not go away just because I write a single blog posting exposing it to the world.

On the other hand there is also Subject Variety in my Blog. This Posting proves it. I bet you never would have guessed that you would one day be reading about a United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame.

If you said to me that you did foresee my writing a Blog Posing like this one, I would suspect that you were toying with me.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(544)

Lagniappe: Personally I think Senator Foghorn Leghorn got carried away when he added an Earmark to the Ban the Stick Bill which also banned worldwide use of the phrase, Stick to Your Guns.

The Japanese Ought To Follow Our Lead

My newspaper tells me that Japan is having a Shrinking Population Problem. The crux of the problem is the fact that Japanese women are only having 1.4 children.

Even those of us who are opposed to Abortion are perplexed about what position we should take when a Japanese woman chooses to abort four tenths of a baby.

My news article said, Japan's Shrinking Population Problem is magnified because Out of Wedlock Births are uncommon in Japan.

There where we can be of help in fixing this pressing issue for Japan. We have Out of Wedlock Birthing down to a science.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(113)

What’s The Matter With “A Whole Bunch”?

The forecast for a recent holiday weekend was that 54.7 Million people would be on the highways & byways of the good Ole USofA.

How do they know that it’s going to be such a precise big number?

I heard you try & put me in my rightful place. I heard you say to yourself, "That's easy, Fella, they put a whole bunch of Bureaucrats with clip boards beside every interstate highway, state highway, street & goat path in the Good Ole USofA & counted them as they went by".

Yea, smart guy, I know that's what they (whoever "they" are) do but how do they do it before it is done?

Why did they just not just say, “A Whole Bunch of People Are Going To Be On The Highways & Byways This Coming Weekend”?

I would found that easier to believe.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(156)