Showing posts sorted by date for query jeans. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query jeans. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Saturday, August 16, 2025

Do You Know What “Banker’s Hours” Means? Do You Know Who Willie the Actor Sutton Was?

As the Professional Blogger that I am I know My Dear Readers (that’s you) fall into two categories on this one…

  • You are so young you don’t know what the heck I am talking about when I peck out “Banker’s Hours”.
  • You are so old (like me) that you once knew what “Banker’s Hours” meant but you have forgotten what “Banker’s Hours” (and a lot of other stuff) means.

Banker’s Hours goes back to a time when banks were housed in Large Stone Block Buildings. This was done to convey to their customers that their money was being kept in a Large Well-Built Secure Building. Almost as importantly, it was done so people who did not have any money in the bank would want to put their money in the bank when they got some money to put in a bank because it was a Large Well-Built Secure Building.

Then things started to change. Banks started popping up in once vacant lots housed in trailers with the wheels removed and offering toasters as a reward for putting your money in their flimsy bank. The wheels had been removed to convey stability to present and future bank customers. Customers looked at the Banking Trailer with the Wheels Removed and said to themselves, “Well, that’s not as confidence building as a Large Stone Block Building but the absence of wheels does fill me with confidence that my life-long savings will be safe in there and everyone needs an extra toaster because next time someone I know gets married I have a toaster to give to him/her”.

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Back in the old days described above, banks were only open from 9am to 2pm. Did you just say, “What! Why did they only open 5 hours a day? That’s crazy!” The Banking Industry had very good reasons for their Short Workday…

·   They had lots of administrative chores they needed to get done before they could go home.

·   Banker people today have lots of Apps to help them get through the day. In the old days there were no Apps, so they needed to get started on all the things that Apps would have done for them if there had been Apps. I can almost hear them mumbling to themselves, “I wish I had an App for this!”

·   Since they only worked 5 hours there was not enough time to sharpen their pencils, so they sharpened their pencils for the next workday before they went home. They could not put pencil sharpening off till the next morning because they had to get coffee before they started working the next morning.

·   They had to pick up all the coins that they had dropped on the floor each day.

·   A short workday offered less hours of bank robbing opportunity for bank robbers to rob banks.

Bank Robbing used to be Big Business. Stop and think about it. How many famous modern day bank robbers can you name? Hardly any right? Back in the old days bank robbing was a popular way to make a living…

  • John Dillinger (Vicious Bank Robber)
  • Baby Face Nelson (Notorious Criminal with a Small Face)
  • Pretty Boy Floyd (Notorious Criminal with a Pretty Face)
  • Machine Gun Kelly (Flamboyant Criminal)
  • Jesse James (Civil War Bandit)
  • Sundance Kid (Harry Longabaugh)
  • Butch Cassidy…Butch Cassidy's first criminal offense was minor. Around 1880 he journeyed to a clothier shop in another town but found it closed. He broke into the shop and stole a pair of jeans and some pie, leaving an IOU promising to pay on his next visit. 
  • Willie the Actor Sutton

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Willie the Actor Sutton (years ago I read Willie’s autobiography) was a very interesting Bank Robber and most of the rest of this Blog Posting will be Copy & Paste from what others and him have written about him.

You might think this Blog is getting too long but actually you ought to thank me because I have shortened it quite q bit.

Willie Sutton

From Wikipedia

  • William Francis Sutton Jr. was an American bank robber. 
  • During his forty-year robbery career he stole an estimated $2 million.
  • He spent more than half of his adult life in prison.
  • He escaped from prison three times.
  • For his talent at executing robberies in disguises, he gained two nicknames, "Willie the Actor" and "Slick Willie".

Early life

Career In Crime

  • He became a criminal at an early age.
  • He was an accomplished bank robber.
  • Throughout his long professional criminal career, he did not kill anyone.
  • He dispensed mounds of legal advice to any convict willing to listen.
  • Inmates considered him a "wise old head".
  • When incarcerated at "The Tombs" (Manhattan House of Detention) he did not have to worry about assault because Mafia friends protected him.
  • Gangsters and many incarcerated organized crime inmates, enjoyed having him for companionship.
  • He was witty and non-violent.
  • He usually carried a pistol or a Thompson submachine gun.
  • He once observed, "You can't rob a bank on charm and personality".
  • In an interview in the Reader's Digest, he was asked if the guns that he used in his robberies were loaded. He responded that he never carried a loaded gun because somebody might get hurt.
  • He stole from the rich and kept it.
  • He was captured and recommitted in June 1931, charged with assault and robbery.
  • He failed to complete his 30-year sentence, however, escaping on December 11, 1932, using a smuggled gun and holding a prison guard hostage.
  • With the guard as leverage, Sutton acquired a 45-ft ladder to scale the 30-ft wall of the prison grounds.
  • On February 15, 1933, Sutton attempted to rob the Corn Exchange Bank and Trust Company in Philadelphia.
  • He came in disguised as a postman, but an alert passerby foiled the crime but he escaped.
  • On January 15, 1934, he and two companions broke into the same bank through a skylight.
  • He conducted a Broadway jewelry store robbery in broad daylight, impersonating a postal telegraph messenger.
  • His other disguises included a police officer, messenger and maintenance man.
  • He was apprehended on February 5, 1934, and was sentenced to serve 25 to 50 years in the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia for the machine gun robbery of the Corn Exchange Bank.
  • On April 3, 1945, he was one of 12 convicts who escaped the institution through a tunnel.
  • The convicts broke through to the other side during daylight hours and were spotted immediately by a passing police patrol.
  • The 12 men were forced to quickly flee the scene, with all being quickly apprehended.
  • He was recaptured the same day by a Philadelphia police officer.
  • Sentenced to life imprisonment as a fourth time offender, Sutton was transferred to the Philadelphia County Prison in Pennsylvania.
  • On February 10, 1947, he and other prisoners dressed as prison guards carried two ladders across the prison yard to the wall after dark.
  • When the prison's searchlights hit him, Sutton yelled, "It's all right” and no one stopped him.
  • During February 1952, Sutton was captured by police after having been recognized on a subway and followed by Arnold Schuster, a 24-year-old Brooklyn clothing salesman and amateur detective.
  • Schuster later appeared on television and described how he had assisted in Sutton's apprehension. 
  • Albert Anastasia, Mafia boss of the Gambino crime family, disliked Schuster because he was a "rat" and a "squealer." 
  • Anastasia ordered the murder of Schuster, who was then shot dead outside his home.
  • Judge Peter T. Farrell presided over a 1952 trial in which Sutton was convicted of the 1950 robbery of $63,942 (equal to $835,668 presently) from a bank of the Manufacturers Trust Company in Queens.
  • He received a sentence of 30 to 120 years in Attica State Prison.
  • While in prison, he wrote "I, Willie Sutton", a book about his life and career.
  • In December of 1969, Judge Farrell ruled that Sutton's good behavior, along with his deteriorating health, justified commuting his sentence to time served.
  • At the hearing he responded, "Thank you, your Honor. God bless you," and wept as he was led out of the court building.
  • In 1976, he published his second book, “Where the Money Was”.
  • After his release, Sutton delivered lectures on prison reform and consulted with banks on theft-deterrent techniques.
  • He made a television commercial for New Britain Bank and Trust Company in Connecticut for their credit card with picture identification on it.
  • His lines were, "They call it the face card. Now when I say I'm Willie Sutton, people believe me”.

"Sutton's Law"

A famous apocryphal story is that Sutton was asked by a reporter why he robbed banks. According to the reporter, he replied, "Because that's where the money is". The quote evolved into Sutton's law, which is often invoked to medical students as a metaphor for emphasizing the most likely diagnosis, rather than wasting time and money investigating every conceivable possibility.

In his autobiography, Sutton denied originating the pithy rejoinder…

“The irony of using a bank robber's maxim as an instrument for teaching medicine is compounded, I will now confess, by the fact that I never said it. The credit belongs to some enterprising reporter who apparently felt a need to fill out his copy. I can't even remember where I first read it. It just seemed to appear one day, and then it was everywhere. If anybody had asked me, I'd have probably said it. That's what almost anybody would say ... it couldn't be more obvious.”

However, he also said:

"Why did I rob banks? Because I enjoyed it. I loved it. I was more alive when I was inside a bank, robbing it, than at any other time in my life. I enjoyed everything about it so much that one or two weeks later I'd be out looking for the next job. But to me the money was the chips, that's all".

Would you have loved to buy him a beer just listen to him tell stories. I know I would.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: At the top of this Foolishness, I said I was a Professional Blogger. Are not Professionals supposed to get paid? Why don't I get money for my Blog? I don't. Not only do I not get paid but I am reduced to giving away copies of my Little Read Book. Oh well, that's what I get for Self-Publishing my book. Once you run out of relatives and friends your sales dry up. If I had known I needed more friends to buy my book, I would have been nicer to people. 

If you feel sorry for me, go to Amazon and BUY A COPY or two. Or wait me out and I will probably give you a copy or two.


Tuesday, May 14, 2024

If You Have Ever Said, “Now I Have Seen Everything", You Were Wrong Because I Bet You Had Not Seen This

This Foolishness comes to us from out of the Philippines.

“P34,000” in Philippian Money converts to roughly $600 in American Dollars.

If these jeans cost $34,000, it would be Ridiculously Ridiculous.

Costing roughly $600 is Super Ridiculous.

If they cost $1.00, it would still be Just Plain Stupid.

Are you ready for this?...

Now you can go ahead and say it, “Now I Have Seen Everything!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Thursday, July 15, 2021

It’s Awful Out There!

 

Why is it Awful Out There? It’s because is it so confusing and we all agree Confusion Is Awful.

Example of Awful #1...Spots On the Floor

For about a year and a half, whenever we went into a store of any kind we have been comforted by a sense of Non-Confusion because we saw Spots On The Floor that give us Comforting Instructions like...

Ø Stand Here

Ø Don’t touch anyone

Ø Stay Safe

Ø 6’ Apart

Ø Social Distancing

Ø Don’t let anyone touch you

The Times They Are a Changin’ because the spots are disappearing from our stores and it is resulting in Confusion and Chaos. As I entered a store yesterday I immediately became aware that it was in Complete Chaos Mode...

Ø Some people were stopped dead in their tracks at the door afraid to move any further.

Ø All customers had looks on their collective faces of Shock, Confusion and/or Fear.

Ø Many customers who had been brave enough to walk in now had had their emotions get the better of them and they were frozen in place.

Ø I saw 3 who were on the phone with 911 demanding Swat Teams be dispatched to come rescue them.

OK I admit I made the above Silliness up...Or did I?

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Example of Awful #2...Holes In Jeans.

Every time I offer one of my Grandchildren $20 to go buy a new pair of jeans that do not have holes in the knees they look at me as if I am acting strange again.

They start thinking about what their parents have been saying about my going down the Slippery Slope because...

Ø They don’t understand what I am talking about because, of course, all jeans have holes in the knees.

Ø They know that $20 is not enough to buy the back pocket of their jeans of choice.

Ø Before I spoke up they were in the process of trying to decide how they were going to make their jeans even better looking than they presently are.
>To make the improvements they were picturing the Instruments of Improvement they were going to utilize...a Pair of Scissors, a Sickle, a Revolver, a Wire Brush and/or a Lawn Mower.

Long ago I stopped telling them about my youth (which they are tired of hearing about) and what I would do when a hole appeared in my Jean's Knees...

Ø I considered a hole in my jeans a certain sign that my jeans had become too old to wear any longer.

Ø If I did continue to wear them, my friends would look down on me and quit playing with me.

Ø I would ask my Mother for $3.49 to go buy a new pair of jeans.

Ø Once my Mother had given me the $3.49 (exact change) I would walk the one block to Weinstein’s (Neighborhood) Department Store and buy a new pair of jeans.

Ø Mr. Weinstein loved to see me walk in with my $3.49 (exact change) in my hand.

I always used to think he liked me but, as I have grown wiser in the ways of the world, I came to realized he really like my $3.49.

All of the above in this Example of Awful #2 has been a digression from why I brought up Holes in Jeans in the first place.

I was in my Cable TV Provider’s office the other day when this happened...

Ø There was an office to the left with a sign out front that read, “Job Interview in Process”.

Ø While I was waiting patiently on my spot the door to this office burst open and a young lady came out and turned back to the person who had been interviewing her and while moving her hands down the front of her clothes as if she was brushing away some dirt that had gotten on her clothes she said, “I can’t abide working in a place where I can’t bring my holes with me. I will not work in a place that shows no respect for my holes!”

I looked in the office and the bewildered former interviewer said to me, “All I said was she would not be allowed to wear jeans with holes in them to work”.

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Example of Awful #3....

There she was on her Physiatrist’s Couch telling him about her greatest fear. Here was her tale of fear...

Ø Doctor, it was awful! I was stuck! I could not leave my house!

Ø It was a beautiful day, the birds were chirping, the temperature was perfect and I wanted so badly to go for a walk in the beautiful bird filled park near my house.

Ø I phoned Sally but she did not answer.

Ø I phoned Imelda but she did not answer.

Ø I phoned Linda but she did not answer.

Ø I phoned every friend I had (and I do have lots of friends) and no one answered.

Ø I was trapped because, as you well know, no one can walk without talking on their Smartphone.

The Physiatrist walked out saying to himself, “I’m going directly to my local Fire Station and put in my application to become a Fireman”.

As he disappeared from her presence she looked up from the couch (which she could not get up from because her phone battery had run out) and said to herself, “How did he just walk out like that without talking on his phone?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Does this make sense to you? 

That guy on the left without a spot will not live through the night.


Wednesday, August 14, 2019

I Try To Learn A New Word Every Day. Some Of Them I Try To Unlearn As Soon As I Learn Them.


Today my New Word is “Fave”. Being Sly, Cunning and Alert I quickly caught on that this was short for “Favorite”.

I wish I had not caught on so quickly. As soon as I realized that I had figured out such a Cool Modern Word I started to fear people were going to start calling me “Dude”.

Actually I knew I was in trouble a long time ago when I figured out that “Celeb” was short for “Celebrity”.

Oh well, at least I’m not famous because then I would be a “Celebrity Dude”.
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We are all well aware that the Internet was invented to…
Ø Not let us relax without being interrupted constantly by a Notification about Useless Information that just popped into our Smartphones.
Ø Allowing you to worry about things that you can’t do anything about but worry about like a Ferry Boat overturning 6,872 miles away from where you are and killing a bunch of people who you would never ever have met in your entire life.
Ø Letting you know that you are terribly out of style because you just bought new jeans and you are ashamed that you could not afford holes in your new jeans so you bought the cheaper ones without holes and you are about to get to work with your scissors, your wire brush and your hammer so you can put holes in them and you are praying to God in heaven that no one will be the wiser that your holes are Cheap Wearer Created Holes and not Cool Store Bought Holes.
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Oh yea, back to how “Fave” jumped out at me…

My phone just showed me an ad that was headlined…
Faves from Ellen DeGeneres!
Right next to the cutest picture of Ellen you ever saw are these words…
Ellen’s Fave List
My back-to-school faves for a cool school year.
Love,
(Ellen’s Cool Signature)

Ellen’s First Fave: Wonder Nation Clear Backpack…Stylish & see-through, so you’ll know if you forgot to pack Timmy’s lunch. (I wonder if it would work just as well if you child was not named Timmy but was named Papoose?)
Ellen’s Second Fave: Boon Bento Lunch Box…Shaped like snail so kids will have the most adorable lunch possible. (Maybe that’s why I turned out the way I did. I can’t ever remember eating even one Adorable Lunch at St. Anthony of Padua Grammar School.)
Ellen’s Third Fave: ZIPIT Wildings Pencil Case…Fun moms get their kids fun pencil cases. That’s all there is to it. (If my Mother were still here, she would be proud that she was not a Fun Mom and I would love her even more for standing her ground.)

It’s hard to imagine how Timmy and Papoose will not get all A’s with all these Cool Ellen Faves.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella


Friday, September 07, 2018

What Am I doing In This Store?

A short while back my wife & I enjoyed a Half Family Saturday Breakfast (2 of our 4 children were there).

 

After breakfast my wife and a daughter tricked me into accompanying them to the Shoe Store across the street. Why is it that there is always a Shoe Store across the street from wherever my wife is?

 

I handled the boredom fairly well. I ended up taking a bunch of pictures of shoes. I have deleted all but 2 pictures (see below)...

Ø I found that Mrs. Spartacus shops in that store...
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Ø I also found that Silly People shop at this store with Mrs. Spartacus.
>I often notice and then wonder about the condition of people’s blue jeans.
> When I was a child and I wore a hole in my jeans, either my Mother would install an Iron-On Jean Patch or, when I was really lucky, I would be allowed to spend $2.47 to get a brand new pair of jeans!
>Today people spend hundreds of dollars to buy jeans with pre-installed holes and then they take them home and install more holes. (Yea, I know the word “install” seems misplaced here.)
>This young lady used Paul Bunyon’s Sissors to install her holes...
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No need to attach a comment to this posting telling me I don’t have to notice everything. I know that is true but it is really hard for me to do that when I live in a world that contains so many things that cry out to be noticed.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Tuesday, May 01, 2018

As Much As I Talk About Foolishness It Just Well May Be That I Sometimes Can’t See The Goodness Because Of The Silly That Stands In Front Of It

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What is the message of this picture? I am well aware that many people try to get to our Wallets and our Votes by clothing their cause in The Children of the Good Ole USofA.

 

We become like putty in their sneaky hands when they tell us what they are doing is for the benefit of The Children. We find it very difficult to go against The Children. We acquiesce to whatever they are selling. It works every time...Or does it?

 

This time I got to thinking about how this transfer of wealth to The Children was going to be accomplished...

Ø Are The Children poor because the Parents are poor?

Ø Are The Children poor but the Parents wealthy and we have to fix this inequity?

Ø Are the Parents taking all The Children’s money and using it to buy Lattes and Expensive Jeans with holes all over the pant legs?

Ø If we redistributed our money to the parents of The Children, would the parents keep it for themselves and leave their Children to wallow in poverty?

Ø How are we to get our redistributed money past the greedy parents to The Children who so desperately need our help?

Ø Will we have to set up Checking Accounts for The Children where they can keep our donated money?

Ø How will we ensure that the Parents will not gain access to The Children’s Checking Accounts?

Ø Will The Children’s Signatures, and only their Signatures, be needed to withdraw money from these Checking Accounts?

Ø Do The Children have Signatures?

Ø Should we be concerned that The Children will not be ready for their new wealthy life style and will squander their money on Candy and not use it for Food, Shelter, Expensive Jeans with holes all over the pant legs and Higher Education?

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Since we are getting near the Bottom Line of this Blog Posting I will try and make some sense of it all...Or will I?

 

I just might be making too much of this picture...

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Maybe it is plain as the nose on her face. Maybe, just maybe, she is trying to tell us all that, if we all started wearing Red Noses on our Noses, that alone would make everything better.

 

Sadly The Poor Children will still be poor and the evil rich parents will still be evil and rich but we will we will have brought a smile to The Children’s malnourished faces.

 

Best of all, since I did not donate my money to the parents, I would only be out the cost of one Red Clown Nose.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Thursday, April 27, 2017

This Ain’t Right!

Nordstrom has come up with a new product that everyone in the Good Ole USofA is sure to want.

 

Allow me to correct my opening statement in the opening paragraph above. Remove “sure to want” and replace it with “deserves to have”.

 

Nay, allow me to correct the above correction. “Deserves to have” is not strong enough because somewhere in the Constitution this must certainly be listed as an Inalienable Right!

 

I apologize. I got so carried away that I am in the 4th paragraph of this bit of foolishness and I have not told you of which I speak. I am talking about Nordstrom Selling Muddy Jeans Complete with Fake Mud That Will Not Wash Out for $425 (http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/prps-barracuda-straight-leg-jeans/4457245).

Their Web Site has 2 glaring inaccuracies...

“Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty.”

The Inaccuracies:

Ø “That's seen some hard-working action”... This is not true. They come out of the box with fake mud on them and imparting a fake impression that you have been working hard but you are faking your hard work as soon as you put them on.

Ø “Shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty”...This is not true. You are afraid to get down and dirty, otherwise you would have gotten down and dirty but you were afraid to get down and dirty, so you faked it.

 

Actually I see this as a very strong argument for increasing the Federal Minimum Wage way over its current measly $7.25. Do you realize how long a minimum wage worker would have to labor to buy a pair of these jeans? Its 58.620689 hours! That’s unconscionable!

 

One More Point...Did you notice Nordstrom advertises that they do not charge shipping on their $425 jeans? Well I guess not! If they would charge shipping on a $425 pair of jeans that cost them $12.86 to manufacture (in Portugal), they ought to be thrown in jail.

 

I don’t think I am being too harsh to say that their CEO, their CFO, their CPA and their Doorman ought to all be thrown in jail. (I can see that you think I got carried away again. OK, give the Doorman a pass.)

 

One More One More Point...Atta Boy for Reebok! I’m gonna go out and buy something made by Reebok this very day. What am I gonna buy? It does not matter, as long as it is made by Reebok. Such good ole American Foolishness as this (click below) deserves to be rewarded! (Be patient while the commercial delays the Foolishness)... https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/nation-now/2017/04/27/reebok-features-425-sweat-shirt-following-news-nordstroms-muddy-jeans/307031001/

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Did You Forget Something?

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I can only assume that this sign on the front door of my local Walmart is necessary because children have been forgotten by bargain hungry shoppers dashing into the store.

 

When I saw the sign I turned around and headed back into the parking lot to see if there were any little head sticking out of car windows gasping for air. They were all over the lot!

 

I started stopping the fleeing parents and, with my Smartphone in hand, began recording interviews with them. People today love to be interviewed. Everyone I approached stopped and submitted to an interview (after brushing their hair with their hands and straightening the holes in the knee cap area of their jeans).

 

I asked each one of them the same question, “Do you know you are leaving your children in your car?” Here are the most common responses I got...

Ø What children?

Ø I know it is not right to leave them like that but Walmart is having a One Day Sale and last time they ran out of what I wanted to buy before I got to the bargain rack. I blamed the children for slowing me down. One wanted to get in the shopping cart and the other wanted to get out of the shopping cart. By the time I got that straightened out, it was too late. All the bargains had been lapped up by parents who had left their children in their cars.

Ø Why are you attacking me? They will be fine. It’s not like I was leaving my dog in my car. I would never leave my dog in my car.

 

OK, I admit I made all of this up (except for the sign)...Or did I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella