Monday, December 26, 2022

 

The Internet and all its related New Stuff is changing Everything. Did I just hear a bunch of you say, “No chit, Sherlock, I know that”.

OK, Mr. Smarty Pants, I know you are Smart but when I say Everything is changing I mean Everything.

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I just stumbled across wikiHow (https://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page). I now know that, by using wikiHow, I can find out how to do Everything. Here are a few examples...

  • How to Make an Ugly Christmas Sweater.
  • How to Light a Chanukah Menorah.
  • How to Paint Pine Cones.
  • How to Tell if a Guy Has a Crush on You.
  • How to Accept Your Body.
  • How to Become a Celebrity Personal Assistant.
  • How to Throw a Baseball Harder.
  • How to Grow Blueberries in a Pot.
  • How to Wash a Cotton Sweater.
  • How to Clean a Sisal Rug.
  • How to Use Floss on Your Teeth.
  • How to Sell Gold Coins.
  • How to Chip a Golf Ball.
  • How to Make Dumplings for Soup
  • How to Get Along with Your In Laws.

I think I have made my point...Or have I?

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Consider this...

You are Christopher Columbus. You are nobody. You have been trying to figure out how to Get to the East by Going West. You decide to use wikiHow because your friend Hugo told you it knows how to do EverythingYou peck out..."How to get to the East by going West".

Sure enough wikiHow comes right back and laying it all out for you. You now know How To Do It because wikiHow told you How To Do It. You are about to start packing and you notice a link at bottom of the page that reads, "The Rest of the Story" and you click on it.

After you get East by going West here is what will happen...

  • You are going to be more famous than you have ever dreamed of being famous.
  • Cities will be named after you.
  • Universities will be named after you.
  • Countries will be named after you.
  • The United States will name its Capital after you.
  • A day will be named in your honor.
  • People will march in the streets and get drunk on the day named in honor of you.
  • Statues will be erected all over everywhere in honor of you.
  • A Sausage Company will be named after you...

  • People will march in the streets demanding that no one march in the streets in honor of you.
  • People will demand that you name be removed from Cities, Universities, Countries, Holidays and from all History Books.
  • People will stop getting drunk in your honor.
  • People will tear down your statues (Probably a good idea because these same people have already spray painted them long ago).

  • People will stop eating your sausages.

You give up on your dream of finding the East by going West and become very wealthy by going on the Lecture Circuit telling everyone who will listen, “Don’t Go West, Young Man”.

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Hoards of Red men in flying canoes with Atomic Bombs come across the oceans from all directions and bomb the Heck out of Europe, Africa, Asia and anything else that is not The Americas.

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Is there a moral to this story?

Yes there is...Columbus, sausages and all, wasn’t so bad after all.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just where can I buy.....or protest this sausage the fella is raving about?