Amazon Is Asking Me To Do The Impossible To Prove I Am Me!

Internet Security is a real and growing problem but the fight against Hacking needs to guard against Security Overkill. Asking me questions that I can’t know the answer to is Security Overkill.

At present the Hackers (Bad Guys) are winning! I find I have to spend a lot of my computer time jumping through Security Hoops. Before I can even get to the Security Hoops I have to make Phone Calls to answer Security Questions to prove that I am me, peck in Passwords, Passphrases and PINs, wait on hold for extended periods of time listening to awful music and listen to repeating messages telling me how important I am.

My problems with Amazon started about 3 weeks ago when Amazon Security got nervous about me not really being who I say I am. Eventually it got down to Amazon saying they were going to send me a Security Identification Text Message. I was supposed to respond with a 6-Digit code from the Text Message but the Text Message never came. Since I was not responding to the Text Message that I was not getting, Amazon would not allow me into my Amazon Account.

I ended up having to call Amazon over and over and talk with one of their Customer Annoyer Representatives. This happened on 5 different occasions and each call lasted between 30 and 45 minutes...

Ø The first Customer Annoyer Representative was a complete waste. She must have been hired 20 minutes before I called and had no idea how to help me. Her highest skill was having me repeat my email address 4 different times.

Ø The second sounded very confident that he had fixed my problem but he had not.

Ø The third sounded very confident that he had fixed my problem but he had not.

Ø The fourth made real progress in a completely different direction but he did not fix the problem either.

Ø The fifth continued along #4’s different direction and she Fixed My Problem!

Here are the kinds of hoops I was subjected to...

Ø I was asked my email address.

Ø I was asked the last 4 digits of my credit card number.

Ø I was asked the expiration date of my credit card.

Ø I was asked my mailing address.

Ø I was asked my birth date.

(I was waiting to be asked if I was the same sex today as the day I was born but that question never came up.)

You would think those 5 bullet points above would have been enough to prove that I was who I said I was but then it got really crazy...

Ø I was asked to recite the last 3 items I had purchased from Amazon!

Ø Who can remember the last 3 items they had purchased from Amazon?

Ø I can’t.

Ø You can’t either.

Ø I objected but my Customer Annoyer Representative held firm. He said he was required to ask whatever questions his computer screen put up in front of him and I could not get him to agree with me that this was an unreasonable question.

Ø If I could have gotten into my Amazon Account I could have told him the last 3 items I had bought from Amazon, but you may remember, this is why I had called him in the first place...I Cannot Get Into My Amazon Account!

Ø Since I could not answer this question he would have to ask me more questions.

Ø He then asked me what was the month and year that I first signed on to Amazon Prime!

Ø I have been with Amazon Prime for many many years and I had no idea what my sign-on month and year was.

Ø He said I should guess.

Ø I said March 2015.

Ø He started to move on to the next Security Question when I asked him if March 2015 was the right answer.

Ø He said he was not allowed to tell me.

Ø In other words I am not allowed to know my Private Information.

Now I feel really bad because I got a call from #5 Customer Annoyer Representative. She was in tears. She had been fired because I gave her an Excellent Rating in my Amazon Customer Satisfaction Survey. I am haunted by her tear-filled words just before she hung up on me, “How could you do this to me!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella