Making Progress With Regard To My Simple Requests

Within days of the presidential election last fall, I wrote a letter to our new president asking for ten very logical modifications to the world around me. As the months wore on I began to fear that my wishes might not be getting the proper amount of attention. I kept telling myself that the new guy seemed to be really busy and I clung to the hope that he would get to work on my requests any day now. Anyone can clearly see that these simple requests are really essential to the fabric of America.

I was thrilled to read in the AJC of December 15, 2009 that there appears to be something stirring around my third request …
“Radio & TV … Require that the announcers on all commercials stop shouting at the American People”.
I am so excited!

The news article headline…
Bill would quiet blaring TV ads
The sub-headline…
Lawmakers move to address viewer complaints.

I, however, am made a little uneasy about just how firm the commitment is to this particular concern of mine when I read in the article the following legal mumbo jumbo …
“Managing the transition between programs and ads without spoiling the artistic intent of the producers...”

What the heck does artistic intent have to do with wakening me up from my TV nap? Just what is so artistic about shouting at me?

My fear is that politics will water it down. In the end we will find that the advertising commercial’s volume is essentially unchanged or even louder once the people involved really focus in on artistic intent. Who of us would want to be seen as against artistic intent?

Maybe the best that I can hope for is a federal subsidy to all of the folks back home to be used for the purchase of ear plugs. My hopes are not on firm footing here either because I can hear the TV Advertiser’s Attorney’s impassioned plea, “Your honor, the wearing of ear plugs is an unconstitutional attempt to interfere with the artistic functional transitional projection rights of my client, as was originally intended by our founding fathers”.

Would I kid u?
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You can stop reading now or, if you want a refresher, here is the original Foolishness…Or Is It? referred to above…
Dear Mr. New President
Please take into consideration the pressing issues I am directing to your attention by way of this communication…

 Tattoos … Make sports teams with the largest amount of tattoos lose every game.
 Tattoos Again … Until you get legislation passed regarding my tattoo request above, please electronically put those smudges that hide the faces of criminals on the nightly news over all of their tattoos.
 Radio & TV … Require that the announcers on all commercials stop shouting at the American People.
 RAP Artists … Require that they get real names and learn how to spell.
 Handicapped Parking Spots … Require that anyone who parks in a handicapped parking space, that is not handicapped, become handicapped.
 Postal Service … Require that the Counter Agents at the Post Offices smile once an hour.
 Postal Service Again … Require that Counter Agents not go on break as soon as the number of people waiting in line gets to six.
 Privacy Notices … Stop sending those Privacy Notices every time we turn around and have the heads examined of the three people in the Country that actually do read them.
 Dumb White Guys … Stop TV commercial makers from always depicting the White Males as ignorant buffoons. I find it unrealistic and insulting that we have to always be instructed how to do anything and everything by every other type of species on the planet. This includes other men, women, children and talking animals.
 SUV Drivers … Those SUV Drivers that can't seem to fit their vehicles within the lines of their respective parking spaces should have their SUV taken away and replaced with a Yugo.
Mr. President, I am well aware that you may have one or two more pressing issues on your plate than some of my requests. I trust that you will do your best to get right on what I am asking of you because, I am equally certain, you can see that the need for action on each of these pressing issues is self-evident.

Please do instruct your Chief Of Staff to advise me once these ten have been addressed and I will send you some more.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella?