The headline that never was is…
“Vince Lombardi Strangles One of His Players with His Own Bear Hands”
The Smartfella? is dead serious. This headline could have come about if one of Lombardi's players had come into his office before the big game and said, “I’m sorry, coach but I can’t play in the big game this Sunday because I have Turf Toe”.
There is no doubt that, if this had happened, Lombardi would have shouted, “You expect me to pay you $200 for not playing in the big game because your toe hurts?” As he was shouting he would have jumped across his desk and choked the life out of the player with the bad toe.
Turf Toe had not been invented in Vince’s coaching days. That is the only thing that stood between Lombardi being a coaching legend and a convicted murder.
Now I am reading where Turf Toe has evolved into Chronic Turf Toe. As Vince went looking for his dictionary to find out what “chronic” meant, the toe-challenged player probably would have seen his chance to save his life by slipping away. If he was smart enough to be paid $200 a game, he was smart enough to have seen the impending danger and would have gotten away before Lombardi came storming back in.
Would I kid u?
“Vince Lombardi Strangles One of His Players with His Own Bear Hands”
The Smartfella? is dead serious. This headline could have come about if one of Lombardi's players had come into his office before the big game and said, “I’m sorry, coach but I can’t play in the big game this Sunday because I have Turf Toe”.
There is no doubt that, if this had happened, Lombardi would have shouted, “You expect me to pay you $200 for not playing in the big game because your toe hurts?” As he was shouting he would have jumped across his desk and choked the life out of the player with the bad toe.
Turf Toe had not been invented in Vince’s coaching days. That is the only thing that stood between Lombardi being a coaching legend and a convicted murder.
Now I am reading where Turf Toe has evolved into Chronic Turf Toe. As Vince went looking for his dictionary to find out what “chronic” meant, the toe-challenged player probably would have seen his chance to save his life by slipping away. If he was smart enough to be paid $200 a game, he was smart enough to have seen the impending danger and would have gotten away before Lombardi came storming back in.
Would I kid u?
No comments:
Post a Comment