Sunday, November 11, 2018

I Ought To Post This One Every November 11th

This is The 4th Year in a Row That I have Posted This Blog

Someone once said, “You can’t beat a dead horse”. (Actually, you can but you are wasting your time because the horse can’t take notice of what you are doing to him.) Someone else (probably me) said, “If the horse is dead, get off the horse”. I’m going to ignore what that someone (probably me) said and do this Blog Posting at least this one more time because this is the 100th Anniversary of the End of WW1 and it seems appropriate.

 

This posting refers back to two separate Foolishness...Or Is It? Postings on the same subject. The first reiterates the Ignorance of Mankind and the second asks you to think about a Very Sobering Question.

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First Posting...

The Last Day of World War One

The day humankind proved it is not too smart … again.

When did the First World War end? Many of you just said to yourselves…The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918. It sounds like that was scripted by Hollywood.

The most awful part of the story is that the armistice was signed at 5am on November 11th but was not effective until 11am and the fighting continued for those last six hours between 5am and 11am.

After the war, in a Congressional Hearing, General Pershing blamed Marshal Foch but many said that, at the time, Pershing appeared to be gung ho about the last assaults.

These were full frontal assaults as vicious as any on any other day of the war.

The Germans were shocked when the assaults started but defended against them with all that they had.

During these six hours, thousands of men were wounded or killed fighting for land on which they could have casually strolled smoking a cigarette at 11:01am on the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918.

I wish I were kidding you.
Smartfella

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Second Posting...

No Foolishness, As My Mind Wanders Through This One

After you read below, I will invite you to ask yourself a very sobering question.

I published “The last day of World War One” commentary on April 23, 2008. It was about how WWI continued for six hours after the armistice was signed at 5 A.M. on November 11, 1918.

 

At present I am reading a book by Joseph E. Persico entitled 11th Month, 11th Day, 11th Hour. The quoted excerpt that follows is from page 3 of this book…

"The captain read the message twice. It must be a mistake. True, the night before, the U.S. 26th Division had received Field Order 105 to attack at 9:30 this morning. But at 9:10, just as they had been checking their ammunition and fixing their bayonets, word came that the armistice had been signed. Hostilities were to cease at 11 A.M. The attack had been cancelled. And here was another message telling the captain that the assault had been reinstated. His watch showed 10:30. A half hour remained in the war."

 

Now for the sobering question ... If you were this captain, what would you have done?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: The men of the 26th Division under that Captain’s command went over the top at 10:35. There were 25 minutes left in the war.

Thursday, November 08, 2018

I Don’t Believe In The Weather


Added the Lagniappe on 1/30/19
(But did not republish the entire post)

The Weather is so confusing. It’s like all of us are attached to a rope and we are being jerked all around...

Ø It’s looks like a beautiful day outside today but we are told not to go outside because there is a Code Orange Smog Alert waiting to attack us out there.
>What’s a Code Orange Smog Alert? I hear that in China, when it’s a Code Orange Smog Alert, the weatherman gets all excited and tells his huddled viewers to rush out and enjoy the fine weather while it lasts.

Ø It’s Summer but the weatherman says it is too hot to go outside.
>Come on, man, it’s only Summer! It happens every year in the Summertime. It’s supposed to be hot. Without hot it would not be Summer.

Ø Again it looks like a beautiful day outside but the weatherman tells us there is Humidity out there and we should stay inside where it is safe.
>In Las Vegas the Las Vegans are warned to stay inside when the Humidity gets above 20%.

Ø During a recent football game the announcers said it was a Very Hot Day and the players were “feeling the effects of the heat”.
>This caused me to shout at my TV something along these lines...
“Come on, announcer guys, it’s only 82 degrees! That’s not hot!”

Ø Wind chill factor is defined as the effects of Wind and Temperature on Bare Skin.
>Useless information! We don’t go out naked on cold days.

Ø Wikipedia has a lot to say about what the Heat Index is. The first paragraph is pasted below.

>If you think I am going to try and explain what this means, you are wrong, but I am sure you will understand what it is...Or am I? “The heat index (HI) or humiture is an index that combines air temperature and relative humidity, in shaded areas, to posit a human-perceived equivalent temperature, as how hot it would feel if the humidity were some other value in the shade. The result is also known as the "felt air temperature", "apparent temperature", "real feel" or "feels like". For example, when the temperature is 90 °F with 70% relative humidity, the heat index is 106 °F. This heat index temperature has an implied (unstated) humidity of 20%. This is the value of relative humidity for which the heat index number equals the actual air temperature.”

Ø How many Storms of the Century are there permitted in a Century?
>This was really an attention getter when we first heard our weatherman hit us with this one but the 2
nd through the 52nd (and counting) is not so scary.

Ø The Windblown and Rain Drenched Man in the Middle of the Street shouting at us has come to be a joke. We have all seen videos of this poor soul holding onto his hat while others calmly walk around behind him but this example below beats the Windblown Man by several notches higher up on the Silly Scale.
>
My Brother-In-Law lives in Thomasville, GA. The night of that last big storm I saw a Weather Guy on my TV standing in the middle of a street in Thomasville and he was screaming at me about Thomasville coming apart at the seams. The next day I asked my Brother-In-Law if Thomasville had been destroyed by the Storm and he replied, "What Storm?"



I could go on and on about this one but I’ll simply leave it to the Weatherman to go on and on. This Blog Posting is not going to stop him and he is not paying any attention to me (or you) anyway because he is busy scanning the horizon for the next Storm of the Century.



Would I kid u?

Smartfella 

Added 1/30/19
Lagniappe: This is an addendum to the 5th Bullet Point above...
Ø We are being programmed to worry about things we never knew existed until a short while ago. 
Ø A good example is, in only the last few days, we have been “educated” about the awful effects of the Polar Vortex
Ø This appears to be the Wind Chill Factor on Steroids. 
Ø Again, the Weather People are trying to scare us. 
Ø Wind Chill Factor is defined as the effect of Wind and Temperature on Bare Skin. 
Ø Now I ask you, Who In The Heck Is Gonna Go Out Into A Polar Vortex Naked?

Monday, November 05, 2018

For Any Organization To Get Off The Ground There Has To Be Growing Pains

There Is Not a Scintilla of Humor in This Posting

All new organizations have to start at the beginning and the beginning is not an easy place to start from. There are bumps in the road and usually a major crash or two or more before the kinks get ironed out.

 

The fledgling organization I want to blog about today is going through the first paragraph above and we wish them luck...Or do we?

 

Here come my bullets...

Ø The First Organization Meeting quickly dispensed with routine matters before the senior leadership got down to business.

Ø One top official said their Teamwork and Recruitment needed improvement.

Ø The leaders created a catchphrase for Widening Its Influence and Improving Cash Flow called “The Program”.

Ø A Meeting Leader told the group that they are going to need Total Cooperation and, if they are going to succeed, they will have to Work Together.

Ø For years, their impact on the U.S. was local—confined to specific neighborhoods and cities scattered across the country.

Ø That was the old way but they plan to put the old way behind them and Branch Out.

Ø Already their influence has started to Grow.

Ø Also they are growing their ability to leverage its network of local franchises into a Cohesive National Brand.

Ø A series of trial runs have already been conducted that show how they can be successful in pushing to make their mainstream leap by Streamlining Its Management Structure and creating Uniform Standards, much like any multinational company.

Ø The U.S. Government has not looked favorably upon their Efforts to Organize.

Ø On the other hand, there are Members of Congress in favor of looser restrictions say the Government’s Negative Rhetoric Is Overblown.

Ø Despite these road blocks Membership Has Grown by several thousand members over the past decade or so and it now Stretches To At Least 40 States and the District of Columbia.

Ø Dues range from $15 to $30 a month, largely paid by members who work as laborers, construction workers or dishwashers and most of this money is wired out of the country.

Ø The group was founded in the 1980s in and around Los Angeles by immigrants, who had fled their country’s civil war.

Ø Their goal now is to Begin Consolidating Members under a Single Cohesive Leadership Structure.

 

My bullets will now change and you will see that I have not been talking about Widgets International but about MS-13...

Ø MS-13 is looking to move into territory once occupied by the Italian Mafia and now held by Mexican Drug Cartels.

Ø One of the first new rules shows how they are getting serious about Organizational Control is that Anyone Wanting To Kill A Rival Must Secure Prior Approval.

Ø A key question, one that will determine whether MS-13 can make the jump to National Significance, is whether this transformation can Impose Order on its unruly and violent young members.

 

I find it interesting and alarming how MS-13 (in the top bullets) sounds like any other up and coming organization striving for recognition and acceptance.

 

Here is the kind of information that made me peck out “alarming” in the paragraph above above...

Ø Five gang members have testified in court.

Ø All of them were immigrants from either El Salvador or Honduras who entered the U.S. illegally.

Ø They admitted to committing street crimes, assaults and killings largely targeting rivals and suspected informants.

Ø Their weapon of choice was a machete because, as one gang member said, it allowed him to “cut somebody’s head off easily, and that person will not scream or make noise.”

Ø A Junior Member at age 21 testified how suspicion grew that another member was a snitch.

Ø He and associate were told “to make soup” of the suspected informant.

Ø “To make soup” is code for killing someone.

Ø In a deserted park, he grabbed the suspected informant from behind and held him, while the other man stabbed him.

Ø After the victim kicked him, the holding associate took out his folding knife and also stabbed the victim.

Ø They left the teen for dead and tossed away their knives and bloody clothes.

Ø Gang leaders were impressed by the work and promised to promote them to full gang status.

Ø The two associates were arrested before they were actually made gang members (how disappointing that must have been for them).

Ø Only later did they learn that the suspected informant was never truly an informant.

 

Notice the newspaper referred the killers “associates” in the 6th bullet above as if they were really working for Widgets International instead of calling them Thugs, Murderers or Criminals.

 

Those lawmakers in favor of Looser Restrictions better be careful. Taking the position that the U.S. Government is over reacting to MS-13 is not being careful.

 

Maybe it would be better said that the Good Ole USofA ought to...

Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Maybe Fella is over-reacting...Or is he? Here is an excerpt from an article from the Wall Street Journal about El Salvador where MS-13 is well established and the innocent citizens of El Salvador are wishing their government had over-reacted long ago:

Ø Politicians must ask permission of gangs to hold rallies or canvass in many neighborhoods, law-enforcement officials and prosecutors said.

Ø In San Salvador, the nation’s capital, gangs control the local distribution of consumer products, experts said, including diapers and Coca-Cola. 

Ø They extort commuters, call-center employees, restaurants and store owners.

Ø In the rural east, gangs threaten to burn sugar plantations unless farmers pay up.

Ø While drug cartels collect profits from customers abroad, with dollars and euros trickling into local communities, these gangs steal from their own people.

Ø Documents collected in a recent federal investigation in El Salvador found that MS-13 extracts extortion payments from bus companies, retailers and other businesses.

Ø The payments range from a few dollars a day on each vehicle operated to hundreds of dollars a month charged to vendors in public markets.

Ø Drug enforcement officials said El Salvador’s gangs earn about $20 million a year from extortion, with an estimated $3 million coming from businesses in San Salvador’s historic center.

Ø The gangs also sell drugs and stolen cars, adding to the revenue from legitimate businesses they have seized.

 

This certainly could not happen in the Good Ole USofA...Or could it?…Or is it?   

Indiscriminate Murder Is A Powerful Weapon

Sunday, November 04, 2018

When It Comes To Politics Nothing Is Clear

Have you ever thought to yourself, Self, that’s a problem that needs to be addressed! I’m going to run for political office so I can fix that problem! It is my civic duty!

 

If you are ever on the verge of throwing your hat into the ring, I’m here to tell you ForGetAboutIt!

 

What I am about to peck out in this Blog Posting will demonstrate what I am talking about. As usual, I will not mention the Political Affiliation of the real-life politicians involved here because it might activate your own Political Leanings and you will get mad at me.

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First Unnamed Politician

In this current crazy election year there is a politician who is running for re-election as governor of his state and he appears to be in great jeopardy of losing his re-election bid. Here is a short bullet point list of his record as governor since he took over a state that was an Ongoing Unmitigated Disaster...

Ø His state’s economy is now booming.

Ø His State’s Unemployment Rate has been 3% or below for eight months.

Ø His State’s Unemployment Rate has not been this low since at least 1976.

Ø Year to year average hourly wages in his State are up 5% when compared to the 2.9% Nationwide increase.

Ø Manufacturing employment has grown 12% since he first took office in January 2011.

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Second Unnamed Politician

This president saw the handwriting on the wall (whatever that means) and decided to not run for re-election because he knew he could not win.

Ø The United States government under him ran fiscal surpluses.

Ø The unemployment rate went down (from 3.9% to 3.1% during the last 4 years).

Ø The labor-force participation rate went up (from 57.2% to 58.9%).

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We’re getting near the Bottom Line so here is my Bottom Line...

Ø It sometimes does not make any difference how well you have performed in office.

Ø Some crazy unrelated event is going to happen (like your brother-in-law, who you have not talked to in 12 years, getting caught with his hand deep into the school board’s cookie jar in Buzzard’s Breath, WY) and you are going to be thrown out of office.

Ø The voters never seem to learn that next guy in that office has the same brother-in-law, only he has a different name.

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This Blog Posting could end right here and all of you would agree that I have made my point very well...Or would all of you?

 

However, it does get even crazier when you consider this...

There is a race going on in the Good Ole USofA this year where a political new-comer appears to have a very good chance of being elected with this as his past history...

Ø He’s been arrested nine times.

Ø The charges against him included...
>Operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol.
>Driving with a suspended license.
>Unlawfully protesting.

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I’m going to contact my Congressman (if I can find him) and implore him to propose a New Tax called the You Gotta Be Crazy Tax. The money generated by this new tax is to be placed in a Lock Box to only be used to Examine the Heads of Anyone Foolish Enough to Have Ever Considered Running for Political Office in the Good Ole USofA.

 

If I got my Congressman (whoever he is) on the phone and asked him if he wants to be on my Blog Notification List, he would probably tell me he is too busy to talk to me because he is having his head examined.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

Above I was silly enough to use the term, “Lock Box That Cannot Be Broken Into”.

I looked this term up in the Congressional Dictionary and found the definition to be, “There is no such thing as a Lock Box That Cannot Be Broken Into but it is sure-fire way to get votes because the voters fall for this promise every time”.

It hurt me to see that there was actually a Smiley Face at the end of the definition but, what hurt me the most was the message behind the Smiley Face which read, “I am your Congressman and I approve this Smiley Face”.

Friday, November 02, 2018

The Story You Did Not See

I am now going to make up a story. I have to make this story up because it did not happen but it should have happened.

 

Once upon a time in Pakistan a Christian Woman was accused of Blasphemy because, while she was working in a field with other women, she fetched water for herself and her fellow workers. The other women workers refused to drink the water because the Christian Fetching Woman was a Christian Woman.

 

An argument ensued and the Muslim Women accused the Christian Fetching Woman of Blasphemy and Insulting the Prophet.

 

Don’t ask me how the leap was made from... I don’t want to drink your fetched water ... to ... You Committed Blasphemy and Insulted the Prophet. The only thing that matters is the accusation was made and, in Pakistan, once you are accused of Blasphemy and Insulting the Prophet you are immediately thrust into the Pakistani Two Step...

1.  You are accused of Blasphemy and Insulting the Prophet.

2.  You are guilty of Blasphemy and Insulting the Prophet.

 

Blasphemy in Pakistan is a Weapon of Choice and the Penalty is Death.

 

What happened next ought to give you pause about ever thinking you had a hankering to become a Pakistani Tourist but it does have a happy ending because the Judge Saved The Day...

Ø The Christian Fetching Woman was taken to court.

Ø The judge listened to all the shouting from the accusers.

Ø The judge did not listen to the Christian Fetching Woman because every time she started to talk the accusers shouted so loud that the judge could not hear the Christian Fetching Woman.

After all the shouters had gone hoarse from screaming the shouting, the judge said. “The Evidence against the Christian Fetching Woman is Flimsy and Inconsistent and Described it As a “Feast of Falsehood”.

 

The Christian Fetching Woman was released right then and there in the courtroom and she went home to cook supper for her husband and 5 hungry children.

 

The shouting and screaming accusers in one voice said they were sorry and applauded as the Christian Fetching Woman left the courtroom.

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The story I pecked out above, as I told you it was going to be, was not true. Here are the Actual Facts surrounding the case of the Christian Fetching Woman...

Ø The Christian Fetching Woman was not released from the courtroom.

Ø The Christian Fetching Woman has been in prison since 2009.

Ø She was sentenced to death by a court in 2010.

Ø Jail officials said two inmates were arrested last month for planning to kill the Christian Fetching Woman by strangling her.

Ø Pakistan has some of the most severe blasphemy laws in the world.

Ø Hundreds are languishing in prison on blasphemy charges.

Ø Prominent figures who opposed the blasphemy law have been assassinated.

Ø According to one religious minority source, an accusation of blasphemy commonly subjects the accused, the police, the lawyers involved and the judges involved to harassment, threats, attacks and rioting.

Ø Calls for change in the blasphemy laws have been strongly resisted by Islamic Parties.

Ø This is the kind of wording that Blasphemy Laws contain... “Uttering of any word or making any sound or making any gesture or placing of any object in the sight with the deliberate intention of wounding the religious feelings of any person.”

Ø The Supreme Court now ruled (after the Christian Fetching Woman has spent all these years in jail) that the evidence against Christian Fetching Woman was Flimsy and Inconsistent and Described it as a “Feast of Falsehood”.

Ø The hearing was presided over by Pakistan’s Chief Justice.

Ø The Christian Fetching Woman’s lawyer has received Death Threats (does that surprise you?).

Ø Some critics complain that Pakistan's blasphemy law "is overwhelmingly being used to persecute religious minorities and settle personal vendettas."

Ø Human-rights groups say the laws are subject to abuse and that accusations against Muslims and non-Muslims alike are often used to settle scores.

Ø In the ruling in favor of the Christian Fetching Woman, the judges noted that since 1990, 62 people have been killed by vigilantes based on blasphemy accusations before ever getting to court.

Ø The Christian Fetching Woman’s family has been in hiding since she was arrested.

Ø The Christian Fetching Woman’s husband told The Wall Street Journal in 2016 that he earned a living doing odd jobs and hadn’t dared to return to his home village.

Ø In 2011, a prominent Pakistani politician, Salmaan Taseer, took up the Christian Fetching Woman’s case, saying she was wrongly imprisoned.

Ø He called for reform of blasphemy laws.

Ø He was later gunned down by his own police guard.

Ø When authorities executed the guard in 2016, tens of thousands thronged his funeral to laud the assailant as a hero.

Ø After the Christian Fetching Woman’s release...
>Demonstrators have called for the killing of the judges in the case.
>Demonstrators have called for the toppling of the government.
>Demonstrators have called for a revolt against the country’s powerful army chief.

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It ain’t over till it’s over and it ain’t over. Before I posted this Blog Posting, I found this in my morning paper...

Ø Protestors mounted rallies across Pakistan for a second day in a row.

Ø More than 1,000 Islamists blocked a key road linking the capital Islamabad with the garrison city of Rawalpindi demanding that the Fetching Christian Woman be publicly hanged.

Ø Hundreds also blocked another key motorway linking Islamabad with major cities.

Ø Authorities deployed paramilitary troops, signaling they could move to clear the roads.

 

We now know that the Christian Fetching Woman ain’t stupid because Family Members are saying she is planning to leave Pakistan.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Aren’t Titles Wonderful?!

I recently got a snail mail letter from the company I retired from. They have reorganized a department which I make contact with from time to time. The letter was sent to keep me informed about the reorganization.

 

They seem to really like me even though I feel I have betrayed them by living so long after retirement which, of course, requires them to still send my pension check more than 20 years later.

 

I can still hear the words the Big Guy whispered to me at my retirement party when I had my picture taken with him, “We would consider it a demonstration of your appreciation and loyalty to the company if you would die within two years of your well deserved retirement”.

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I do like being kept informed so I decided to call The Boss of that department to tell him I appreciated his thoughtfulness. It shows how old I am that I would use the word “boss” in the prior sentence. Corporate America has moved away from words like “boss” because “boss” sounds mean. Instead we have moved into the World of Impressive Titles.

 

My Dear Readers, I need your advice. Please tell me who is The Boss from the contacts listed in my former employer’s Departmental Reorganization Letter... Is it the Senior Manager or is it the Group Vice President or is it the General Manager?

 

What’s next? Am I going to get a letter from the Senior General Managing Vice President In Charge of Miscellaneous Trivia?

 

I bet when the Senior General Managing Vice President In Charge of Miscellaneous Trivia got that title conferred on him and he asked, “How much is my raise?” he was told, “You don’t get a raise. You got a very impressive Title.”

 

He probably replied, “Excuse me. Of course, you are right. I apologize for asking.”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Monday, October 29, 2018

AGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

I have had it with Elections! It’s not just Presidential Election every 4 years that have driven me to this point. We also have Congressional Elections in the intervening 2 years between the 4 years!

It’s awful and it’s getting awfuller! Don’t send me a message telling me that “awfuller” is not a word! I looked it up: Adjective-Comparative form of awful: more awful. (I was surprised too.)

I have gone Over the Edge. I’ve tipped over the Tipping Point. I am at the bottom of the Slippery Slope looking back up and shouting AGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

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Okay, I’m regaining control...Or am I?

 

I’ll try and slow down and put my thoughts together logically without shouting at you...Or will I?

 

It time for Bullet Points...

Ø The Election Hysteria never stops.

Ø As soon as one election is over your TV Stations go to commercials and come back speculating about the next election.

Ø That very day or the next very day, the political attacks start.

Ø Before we turn around the Political Attack Commercials are upon us.

Ø The commercials seem very familiar because they are familiar.

Ø They simply change the names of the Attackor and the Attackee and run the same accusations as in the last election.

 

I had a dream last night that 2 opponents were in a debate and they got into a heated discussion about each one laying claim the fact that he lied more than his opponent lied...Or was it a dream?

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The Bottom Line

Because of the 24 Hours News Cycle and the Never-Ending Campaigns Cycle the Non-Election Legislative Year never happens.

 

Yes, my Dear Readers, Never-Never Land is out there but Congress has changed its basic meaning. Never-Never Land is defined as...

“Imaginary Land ... An unreal or imaginary place, especially one where wonderful things happen.”

The only way that Peter Pan would certify our 19%* Approval Rated Congress to be living in Never-Never Land is if you tricked him into thinking that Getting Re-Elected is a Wonderful Thing.  

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

*The Congressional Approval Rating in the last 12 months was as low as 13% and as high as 20% (1 single month).