I Don’t Believe In The Weather

Added the Lagniappe on 1/30/19

(But did not republish the entire post)

The Weather is so confusing. It’s like all of us are attached to a rope and we are being jerked all around...

Ø It’s looks like a beautiful day outside today but we are told not to go outside because there is a Code Orange Smog Alert waiting to attack us out there.
>What’s a Code Orange Smog Alert? I hear that in China, when it’s a Code Orange Smog Alert, the weatherman gets all excited and tells his huddled viewers to rush out and enjoy the fine weather while it lasts.

Ø It’s Summer but the weatherman says it is too hot to go outside.
>Come on, man, it’s only Summer! It happens every year in the Summertime. It’s supposed to be hot. Without hot it would not be Summer.

Ø Again it looks like a beautiful day outside but the weatherman tells us there is Humidity out there and we should stay inside where it is safe.
>In Las Vegas the Las Vegans are warned to stay inside when the Humidity gets above 20%.

Ø During a recent football game the announcers said it was a Very Hot Day and the players were “feeling the effects of the heat”.
>This caused me to shout at my TV something along these lines... “Come on, announcer guys, it’s only 82 degrees! That’s not hot!”

Ø Wind chill factor is defined as the effects of Wind and Temperature on Bare Skin.
>Useless information! We don’t go out naked on cold days.

Ø Wikipedia has a lot to say about what the Heat Index is. The first paragraph is pasted below.

>If you think I am going to try and explain what this means, you are wrong, but I am sure you will understand what it is...Or am I? “The heat index (HI) or humiture is an index that combines air temperature and relative humidity, in shaded areas, to posit a human-perceived equivalent temperature, as how hot it would feel if the humidity were some other value in the shade. The result is also known as the "felt air temperature", "apparent temperature", "real feel" or "feels like". For example, when the temperature is 90 °F with 70% relative humidity, the heat index is 106 °F. This heat index temperature has an implied (unstated) humidity of 20%. This is the value of relative humidity for which the heat index number equals the actual air temperature.”

Ø How many Storms of the Century are there permitted in a Century?
>This was really an attention getter when we first heard our weatherman hit us with this one but the 2^nd through the 52^nd (and counting) is not so scary.

Ø The Windblown and Rain Drenched Man in the Middle of the Street shouting at us has come to be a joke. We have all seen videos of this poor soul holding onto his hat while others calmly walk around behind him but this example below beats the Windblown Man by several notches higher up on the Silly Scale.
>My Brother-In-Law lives in Thomasville, GA. The night of that last big storm I saw a Weather Guy on my TV standing in the middle of a street in Thomasville and he was screaming at me about Thomasville coming apart at the seams. The next day I asked my Brother-In-Law if Thomasville had been destroyed by the Storm and he replied, "What Storm?"

I could go on and on about this one but I’ll simply leave it to the Weatherman to go on and on. This Blog Posting is not going to stop him and he is not paying any attention to me (or you) anyway because he is busy scanning the horizon for the next Storm of the Century.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella 

Added 1/30/19

Lagniappe: This is an addendum to the 5^th Bullet Point above...

Ø We are being programmed to worry about things we never knew existed until a short while ago. 

Ø A good example is, in only the last few days, we have been “educated” about the awful effects of the Polar Vortex. 

Ø This appears to be the Wind Chill Factor on Steroids. 

Ø Again, the Weather People are trying to scare us. 

Ø Wind Chill Factor is defined as the effect of Wind and Temperature on Bare Skin. 

Ø Now I ask you, Who In The Heck Is Gonna Go Out Into A Polar Vortex Naked?