The Mother Of All Things To Worry About

The News Media loves to scare all those it comes in contact with. I am not ready to label this as the Essence of Evil but I do wish they would ease up a bit.

One of the best examples of their unending desire to make us worry is Hurricane Season. More often than not their scare predictions turn out to be not as bad as predicted.

I am not saying I wish I lived where this latest Storm of the Century has passed but our weathermen were talking about this one as the Storm of the Century when it was a Category 4 (and predicted to be a Category 5) and still calling it the Storm of the Century when it was down to a Category 1.

 

Weathermen love to make us worry. They can’t help themselves but this one made me go over the edge...

Ø I heard a Talking Reporting Head say on TV that, even though the winds of Florence were down to only 100 mph, this was twice as high as recent hurricanes.

Ø I shouted at her but she did not hear me, “Half of a hundred is 50 mph! 50 mph Is Not A Hurricane! Hurricanes don’t become Hurricanes until they reach 75 mph!” (I shout at TVs a lot.)

 

This posting is getting near the Bottom Line so I better tell you the Bottom Line I referred to in the Subject of this Blog Posting...

The Mother of All Things to Worry About

This is the first time they have used this new worry and you can bet it won’t be the last because it scared the people in Nebraska...

This Hurricane Was Expected To Dump 10 Trillion Gallons Of Water On The Good Ole USofA!

They can’t know how many Trillion Gallons it will dump! (As I have been known to do in past blogs, I feel obligated to point out that 10 Trillion is 10 Thousand Billion.)

 

When I heard this 10 Trillion Gallons Prediction I shouted at the TV, “You can’t know that!” but I still worried about this new worry they saddled me with.

 

I have to admit they got to me. They succeeded in increasing my Worry Factor and weathermen all over the east coast of the Good Ole USofA fell asleep that night with a smile on their collective faces.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

I’ve been asked about where I got the 10 Trillion Gallons of Rain Figure I used in this posting. Could that possible mean there are those who think I made this figure up. Oh ye of little faith...

Ø He bets 10 trillion:
http://fortune.com/2018/09/13/hurricane-florence-rain-totals-10-million-gallons/
            The storm could dump as much as 10 trillion gallons of rain on North Carolina alone, according to meteorologist Ryan Maue of weathermodels.com. That’s higher than the maximum capacity of Lake Mead, the reservoir that serves water to Arizona, California, and Nevada. (To visualize that, the lake is currently only filled to 38% of its capacity.)
            Maue’s prediction is based off of the seven-day rainfall summary from the National Weather Service, factoring in the average and maximum rainfall estimates.
            He further notes that the initial estimates from Harvey were much lower than the actual totals. (Harvey ultimately dropped 33 trillion gallons of rain on Southeast Texas and Louisiana.)

Ø  He raises himself to 18 trillion: https://www.lmtonline.com/news/science/article/Truly-deep-Florence-to-dump-18-trillion-gallons-13229992.php
            Meteorologist Ryan Maue of weathermodels.com calculates that Hurricane Florence is forecast to dump about 18 trillion gallons of rain over a week over the North Carolina, South Carolinas, Virginia, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky and Maryland. It doesn't include rain after it dissipates and its remnants circle back to the northeast.
            That much rain is 2.4 trillion cubic feet (68 billion cubic meters). It's enough to cover Manhattan with nearly 3,800 feet (1.1 kilometers) of water, more than twice as high as the island's tallest building, One World Trade Center.
            Florence's 18 trillion gallons is as much water as there is in the entire Chesapeake Bay. It's also enough to cover the entire state of Texas with nearly 4 inches (10 centimeters) of water.

 

 

If Our Federal Government Sees A Significant Threat To The Citizens Of The Good Ole USofA And Decides To Take Immediate Action To Remove That Threat, How Long Does It Take To Do Immediate?

This bit of Foolishness is going to point out how slow our Federal Government can be when it sets out to fix something that really needs to be fixed and it recognizes that something as a Great Danger to the citizens of the Good Ole USofA.

 

The Great Danger I am talking about is the fact that our Social Security Numbers are used by Medicare as the Medicare Identification Number.

 

Being slow to fix this obvious problem is one thing but the larger stupid is how dangerous it was for Medicare to ever start using such a sensitive number in the first place.

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The Law ... H.R 2 of the One Hundred Fourteenth Congress of the United States of America

On January 6, 2015, to protect seniors from identity theft, President Obama signed a bill that requires the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to issue new Medicare Cards that Don’t Display, Code or Embed Social Security Numbers.

 

Some Background...

On 4/29/15 in a communication from the Office of Inspector General of Social Security Administration this was said...

 

--> Fella did the Bolding and Underlining below. <--  

• For more than a decade, we and other Federal Agencies have recommended taking SSNs off of Medicare Cards.
• U.S. Rep. Sam Johnson, Chairman of the House Ways and Means Subcommittee on Social Security, has long advocated removing SSNs from Medicare cards. Johnson once said to the New York Times, “The Social Security number is the key to identity theft, and thieves are having a field day with seniors’ Medicare cards”.
• The 4,500+ seniors who are enrolling in Medicare every day are receiving Medicare Cards with their SSNs on them.
• In 2006, we recommended that Social Security encourage HHS to modernize the Medicare Card.
• In a memorandum to the heads of federal departments and agencies in May 2007, Clay Johnson III, deputy director of the White House Office of Management and Budget, said they should draw up plans to eliminate the unnecessary collection and use of Social Security numbers within 18 months. (Fella received his new card 9/12/18. This proves that “within 18 months” in Washington takes more than 11 years.)
• In 2008, we reported that, despite the increasing threat of identity theft, Medicare continued to issue cards that displayed SSNs and unnecessarily placed millions of individuals at risk for identity theft.
• On June 22, 2008, the Inspector General called for immediate action to remove SSNs from Medicare Cards. (Fella received his new card 9/12/18. This proves that “immediate” action in Washington takes more than 10 years.)
• With a stolen SSN, identity thieves can commit any number of financial crimes in the victim’s name or they can just steal money from the victim.
• Thieves might attempt to change the victim’s Social Security direct deposit information or redirecting benefits to other accounts.

 

I wonder how many Vacations, Home Work Periods, Recesses, Happy Hours and Post Office Renamings have taken place while thieves were having a field day with our Medicare Cards with our Social Security Numbers on them.

 

Senator Snidley Whiplash defended Home Work Periods by saying, “Why, son, Home Work Periods are very important! Why, son, this is when we go home and get our marching orders from the folks back home”.

 

Fella would like to peck out what those Ignored Marching Orders are... Senator, you have sat there too long for any good that you are doing! In the name of God, Go!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: At least we have the protection of only being asked the Last 4 Digits of our SSNs. Thank heaven that the Good Ole USofA has the Common Sense to be cautious about my SSN...Or does it have?

 

The Dangers of Giving Out the Last 4 Digits of Your SSN

The first 3-digits of your SSN represent the geographic region you were in when you applied for your SSN. (If the thief knows where you were born, he usually already has these 3-digits.) The second 2-digits represent a group number that is assigned for administrative purposes. (Thieves have little problem determining 2-digit numbers.) The last 4-digits are the only part of your SSN that makes your number unique from all others. This means that giving out the last 4-digits of your SSN is riskier than any other part of your SSN.

I Just Became Rich in 93 Minutes And 1 Second (Part 3)

(Originally Published on 1/13/11 and Modified 9/4/17 and Republished 9/12/18)

 

Today, 9/12/18, this Stroke of My Genius is republished because of the Hurricane that is headed (hour after hour) toward the Carolinas as I peck this out.

 

As you watch the pictures of the disaster that is about to capture our attention (hour after hour) remember, if the pictures seem familiar, it’s because they are familiar.

------------------------

It came to me in a flash (that’s the 1 second referred to in the subject line above). I then spent 93 minutes calling the heads of the news departments at NBC, CBS, ABC, the AP, Fox, CNN, TNT, Reuters, MSNBC, CNBC and a couple of others. The brilliance of my proposal was seen immediately and was accepted by them as a real concrete way for each of them to save a lot of money.

 

I proposed they pay me a minuscule remuneration in the form of 5% of all the money my brilliant idea would save them in the next 25 years. They accepted my payment plan as quickly as they had accepted my original money saving idea. That’s it. I am rich!

 

Did I forget to tell you exactly what was my Brilliant Money Making, Money Saving and Make Me Rich Idea? I apologize. Here it is in all its brilliant simplicity...

Ø I was watching the news broadcast on TV today about the floods in Australia.

Ø I said to myself, “Self, that looks like the pictures of the floods in Iowa last year”.

Ø That’s when it hit me.

Ø The news organizations spend millions of dollars every year sending cameramen all over the world to take pictures of one disaster after another.

Ø The pictures they send back all look the same as the pictures of the last disaster.

Ø What they needed to do is build up a video bank of all the various disasters that we see over and over each night on TV: Floods, Fires, Earthquakes, Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Rabbits Attacking Presidents, etc.

Ø Then when one of these bad things happen again they just go to their computers and pull out a stored video of that particular type of happening and send it out over the airways for all of America to be amazed at or saddened by.

Ø They have then saved the expense of salary for the travelers, meals for the travelers, airplane tickets for the travelers, new equipment having to be purchased, worn out equipment that needed to be replaced, shirts and baseball caps with logos on them and so on and so forth.

 

Did I not tell you it was brilliantly simple?

--------------------------

I just got a phone call I got from a cameraman from NBC. He told me that he was going to sue me.

 

At first, I assumed that he was suing me because he was losing his job. I was surprised when he told me that he was suing me for Nifty Idea Infringement.

 

He explained he had been putting my brilliant idea into actual practice for 32 years and I had stolen it from him. My idea was his idea.

 

During his 32 year career at NBC he said he had sent in On-The-Spot “Live” Disaster Film/Tapes/Videos from 4,286 Floods, Fires, Earthquakes, Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Rabbits Attacking Presidents, etc. and no one had ever taken note that the current disaster looked a lot like all prior disasters.

 

The only one that never was repeated was that Rabbit Attacking that President.

 

All this time he had never left Altoona, PA.

 

I offered him 2% of my 5%. He accepted. Now we are both going to be rich.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The F Word is OK

USA Today 10/8/03...U2's Bono was found not guilty by the FCC after using the F Word on that year’s January Golden Globe telecast. The FCC said he used the word as an adjective and using it as an adjective is OK because that means it was not used to “describe sexual...activities”.

How sure are we that the people who heard him (especially the children) thought to themselves, ''Oh my heavens! Did you hear what that terrible person said! ... On the other hand, he did use it as an adjective. I understand fully. More people ought to use that bad word as an adjective and the world would be a better place.''

(To be perfectly honest most Modern Day Americans do not know what an “adjective” is.)

------------------------

What if those Golden Globe Officials made a mistake and invited me to their Golden Microphone at their next ceremony and I used the F Word? Since Bono was exonerated, I’m sure, because of his ground breaking precedent, I would be exonerated also...Or would I be?

 

Ground Breaking Precedent or not, me thinks this is what will actually happen to Fella...

Ø The Golden Globe Officials and Celebrities in the Golden Globe Audience would all turn to their collective selves and say, “Who is that that just used the F Word as an adjective?”

Ø In short order they would all come to the conclusion that I was a nobody but, most important of all, I was not a Celebrity.

Ø I would be immediately thrown out on my ear.

Ø Then the FCC would find me, fine me and bring charges for Not Being Bono.

Ø I will have to get a lawyer.

Ø I will have to spend all my life’s savings paying my lawyer.

Ø My Lawyer will buy a Lexus.

Ø Everyone who had ever known me will rush in to testify that they never heard of me.

Ø Eventually, I would get a Certified Letter in my jail cell from the US Congress that would read as follows:
Dear Fella,
You are not very smart.
It will be signed, “535 Smartfellas”.

 

Rest assured, if that Golden Globe Mistake Letter ever arrives in my mail, I will not accept its invitation to attend. I’m smarter than that.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Counting Your Blessings By Remembering Their Past

Next time you feel Despair or Anger when your TV Remote does not work and you don’t have new batteries and you are heading out to a Demonstration to Demand Government Paid For Emergency Battery Home Delivery Entitlement Program, pull up this Foolishness...Or Is It and look at these pictures of the German Bombing of London in WW2...

I Guess We’ll Have To Go Around The Block To Get To Work Today

Life Goes On

Last Night I Slept In The Subway With A Few Of My Closest Friends

I’ll Bet The Guy Who Makes The Donuts Is On The Job Too  

What A Lovely Day To Be Outside

I’ll Bet That Little Boy Went On To Do Great Things

 

I heard a story many years ago that, up until now, I thought was a joke. After seeing these 6 pictures (and the other 44 I did not include in this blog), I am thinking it must be a true story...

Ø During the 1940 London Bombings a bloodied middle-aged woman was dragged out of her bombed out house by rescuers.

Ø Just about the time she was being dragged clear, she told the rescuers to get the bottle of whiskey that was in an almost still intact cupboard.

Ø  They got the bottle and asked her if she wanted a shot.

Ø She replied, “No, love, this bottle is only to be used for emergencies”.

 

Go back and look at the pictures again. Don’t hurry. Then look around your home. Don’t hurry. Let it sink in.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

What Am I doing In This Store?

A short while back my wife & I enjoyed a Half Family Saturday Breakfast (2 of our 4 children were there).

 

After breakfast my wife and a daughter tricked me into accompanying them to the Shoe Store across the street. Why is it that there is always a Shoe Store across the street from wherever my wife is?

 

I handled the boredom fairly well. I ended up taking a bunch of pictures of shoes. I have deleted all but 2 pictures (see below)...

Ø I found that Mrs. Spartacus shops in that store...

Ø I also found that Silly People shop at this store with Mrs. Spartacus.
>I often notice and then wonder about the condition of people’s blue jeans.
> When I was a child and I wore a hole in my jeans, either my Mother would install an Iron-On Jean Patch or, when I was really lucky, I would be allowed to spend $2.47 to get a brand new pair of jeans!
>Today people spend hundreds of dollars to buy jeans with pre-installed holes and then they take them home and install more holes. (Yea, I know the word “install” seems misplaced here.)
>This young lady used Paul Bunyon’s Sissors to install her holes...

No need to attach a comment to this posting telling me I don’t have to notice everything. I know that is true but it is really hard for me to do that when I live in a world that contains so many things that cry out to be noticed.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

He’s Not Really Anonymous. The New York Times Knows Who He Is. So It May Not Take Long To Find Out His Identity…Or Will It Not?

The Anonymous Op-Ed in the NYT has the World of Daytime Radio Talk Shows and Nightly News Shows in a tizzy today. We may never find out who this Mr. Anonymous is...Or will we?

The way information is leaked in the Good Ole USofA today I think he is going to be unmasked and I don’t think it will take around the 35 years it took to find out the name of Mr. Nixon’s “friend” Deep Throat.

Over the years I have written about Mr. Anonymous several times. Three of those several are listed below...

Mr. Anonymous … Keeping Us Out Of The Dark

April 24, 2009

 

Mr. Anonymous really gets around.  We owe him a lot.  Without him, we would all be like Sergeant Schultz on Hogan’s Heroes.  We would be walking around saying, “I know nothing.”

 

Being sly, cunning and alert, I am beginning to think that there is more than one Mr. Anonymous.

 

Headline: “US hostage fails in escape bid from Somali pirates”. In this one article about the U.S. Ship Captain who was being held captive by those dastardly Somali Pirates, there were all of these instances shown below of Mr. Anonymous’ contributions to our collective wealth of knowledge about the world around us…

Ø “They spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to publicly discuss sensitive ship movements.”

Ø “spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of reprisals.”

Ø “according to Defense Department officials speaking on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to talk about the sensitive, unfolding operations.”

Ø “who spoke on condition on anonymity because he is not authorized to talk to the media.”

Ø “said the man, who asked that only his first name, Badow, be used to protect him from reprisals.”

Ø “according to a U.S. official who asked not to be identified because of the sensitivity of the situation.”

Ø “said a senior U.S. defense official who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss operational matters.”

 

Back in Grammar School we would have called this guy a Tattletale. The Mafia would call him a Rat. In modern America we call him a Public Servant.

 

If he is going around talking about “sensitive ship movements” and “sensitive unfolding operations” and “not being authorized to speak” and “operational matters” then maybe we ought to tread lightly on the “Public Servant” part.

 

If I were Mr. Anonymous’ boss, I would make the news Big Time …

Headline … “Mean Boss Fires Public Servant”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

If you have not had enough of me as of yet, here are two more...

 

10/30/09

https://forii.blogspot.com/2009/10/mr-anonymous-now-has-rule-of-law-on-his.html

 

5/6/18

https://forii.blogspot.com/2018/05/anonymous-lawyeringanother-step-on-road.html

 

Would I kid u 3 times?

Smartfella

 

I Admit I Am Guilty Of Blackmail But Blackmail Did Make Me A Lot Of Money, So It Is Justified Blackmail

Super Beets is vying with GEICO for most TV Commercials. Some of its claims are:

Ø Boosts circulation in the body.

Ø Helps to improve stamina.

Ø Helps to improve energy levels.

 

I made my big bunch of Blackmail Money by walking into Super Beets Super Headquarters and threatening to tell the world that Actual Beets That Grow In The Ground Have Been Invented.

 

The look on their faces was priceless!

 

It was not priceless because it cost them a lot of Blackmail Money.

 

I may be branching out with this Blackmailing Idea. I see where my local Big Box Warehouse Selling Place is selling Feeding Pouches of...

Ø Apple& Broccoli.

Ø Peach, Banana & Apricot.

 

Do you get my drift? That’s right. I going to threaten to tell the world that Apples, Broccoli, Peaches, Bananas and Apricots are already on the market in Non-Pouch Form.

 

I am going to hold off till next year because I don’t want to get in too high an Income Tax Bracket for this year.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Be Careful About Your Monkey Business

The Talk Show and Political Worlds were in a Sustained Tizzy about the word “Monkey” yesterday. I won’t even peck out a single word about what happened yesterday because too many people were (and are still) too excited about what happened yesterday and I am convinced that there can be no Sanity at the end of that Foolish Road.

 

I’ll just concentrate my Foolishness on the word “Monkey” itself.

 

I went online and came up with this from Oxford Dictionaries...

9 Monkey Phrases and Their Meanings

1.   Cold Enough to Freeze the Balls off a Brass Monkey
>This “monkey” actually refers to the brass pyramid-like rack (called a monkey) that was once used to stack cannon balls on a ship.
>In extreme cold, the brass would contract and often force the cannon balls to roll out of the stack.

2.   Monkey House
>Refers to the building in a zoo that houses the monkeys.
>By the early 20th century it was used to refer to buildings housing humans as well.
> It has been used as a satirical term for political institutions, such as Parliament or Congress.
>It has also been used as slang for Psychiatric Hospitals and Prisons.

3.   Monkey Business
>Refers to fooling around or any sort of mischievous behavior, ranging from bribery in politics to kissing.
>As a verb it means to behave in a silly or playful way or to tamper with something.

4.   Monkey Wrench
>The exact reasons why this adjustable wrench ended up being called a Monkey Wrench are still disputed.
>Any straightforward sense of utility is thrown slightly askew by the wrench’s appearance in the phrase, “To throw a monkey wrench in the works”.
>This term comes down to referring to the creation of an obstruction or hindrance.
>Probably the same obstruction or hindrance could have been accomplished with a pliers or a screw driver.

5.   Monkey See, Monkey Do
>Monkeys (the non-human animals) are known to do Basic Imitation.
>Basic Imitation means the imitator simply copies an action and does not actually understand the reason or process.

6.   More Fun than a Barrel of Monkeys
>Whether a cage, box, bag, barrel, or wagonload, this term brings up an image joy mixed with confusion.

7.   Well, I’ll Be a Monkey’s Uncle!
>Used to express surprise or disbelief.
>Probably dates to 1925, the year of the Scopes Monkey trial, a landmark court case in Tennessee over the legality of teaching evolution in a state-funded school.

8.    Monkey’s Wedding
>This South African phrase refers to the weather phenomenon of simultaneous rain and sunshine.

9.   A Monkey on One’s Back
>This phrase started off specifically as an allusion to a drug problem (“monkey” referring to the addiction or the symptoms of withdrawal).
>Eventually it came to refer to any problem or issue that was a burden to someone.

Do you see what’s missing? ... There is no reference to Race or Racism in any of these 9 Monkey Phrases.

 

Oh well, who’s ever heard of the Oxford Dictionary anyway.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: If we can’t say “monkey”, what do we call a Monkey (the non-human animal that looks like a Monkey)?