Freedom Of Speech Is Disappearing In The Good Ole USofA But That’s OK

Have I lost my mind? Not yet (but I’m working on it).

I can see a future where we will easily adapt to the loss of Freedom of Speech by making one logical change in how we go about running for public office. If we used to be able to put a man on the moon, we can do this! Allow me to explain.

It seems that Candidates for Public Office cannot say anything in the Political Arena which will not be twisted around into something Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Disqualifying for Future Office.

 

The candidate walks into the room and says, “Good Morning” and that’s all the Media and the Candidate’s Opponent need to go for the jugular...

• Did you hear what he said? That’s awful! Just because he is having a good day, does he not have any sympathy for those among us who are struggling to survive each and every day?
• What about the afternoon & evening? If he really were one with the working class, as he says he is, why would he not wish everyone a Good Entire Day not just a Good Morning?
• What about those of us who are by nature Pessimistic and Paranoid? They actually enjoy feeling depressed. By telling them “Good Morning”, he will, in all likelihood, ruin their day.

As usual, I see a way out of this awful spiral. Any candidate who does not wish to be savaged for whatever he says ought to Not Say Anything At All during his run for office.

 

Did I just hear you say, “That’s really crazy!” Not so fast. Follow along with me...

• The candidate that stays silent will not offend anyone.
• The candidate that stays silent will not have his word twisted into something Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Disqualifying for Future Office because he did not say anything that could be twisted into something Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Disqualifying for Future Office.
• His Speaking Opponent will be sliced and diced every time he opens his mouth.
• Eventually the Non-Speaker will be seen as a logical alternative to the Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Not Qualified for Future Office Speaking Candidate.

Can’t you just hear the voters saying to their collective selves, “We don’t know what the Non-Speaking Candidate stands for but at least we know he is not a Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Not Qualified for Future Office fool like the Speaking Candidate who keeps flapping his gums all the while not realizing that the more he says the more he proves that he is Not Qualified to Hold Future Public Office.”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Quick! Someone Get The President! He Needs To Make A Speech!

Read this one slowly...

I'm reading "The President's First Year: None Were Prepared, Some Never Learned - Why the Only School for Presidents Is the Presidency" by Douglas Alan Cohn and I wanted to share this quote with you.

 

This is what Woodrow Wilson said in both his Inaugural Address and later in his First Annual Message to Congress on December 2, 1913:

"The country, I am thankful to say, is at peace with all the world, and many happy manifestations multiply about us of a growing cordiality and sense of community of interest among the nations, foreshadowing an age of settled peace and good will. More and more readily each decade do the nations manifest their willingness to bind themselves by solemn treaty to the processes of peace, the processes of frankness and fair concession. So far the United States has stood at the front of such negotiations. She will, I earnestly hope and confidently believe, give fresh proof of her sincere adherence to the cause of international friendship by ratifying the several treaties of arbitration awaiting renewal by the Senate. In addition to these, it has been the privilege of the Department of State to gain the assent, in principle, of no less than 31 nations, representing four-fifths of the population of the world, to the negotiation of treaties by which it shall be agreed that whenever differences of interest or of policy arise which cannot be resolved by the ordinary processes of diplomacy they shall be publicly analyzed, discussed, and reported upon by a tribunal chosen by the parties before either nation determines its course of action."

Before 8 months had passed of the following year World War I had started and, before it was over, (According to Wikipedia) “the total number of deaths includes about 11 million military personnel and about 7 million civilians. The Triple Entente (also known as the Allies) lost about 6 million military personnel while the Central Powers lost about 4 million. At least 2 million died from diseases and 6 million went missing, presumed dead”.

 

Sometimes, when the Good Ole USofA is faced with a crisis, we will hear someone say, “The President need to make a speech about this dire situation”. If that happens again, don’t ask Woodrow Wilson to make that speech.

 

Start reading this book for free: http://amzn.to/2cQ5A8x

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Very Unsettling!

I saw where the former first string quarterback of the LSU Tigers has received a Death Threat over Social Media for the transgression (in the mind of the mental midget who socially made the social threat) of trying his best but his best was not good enough (in the mind of the mental midget who socially made the social threat).

Too bad Social Media was not around a few decades ago when this midget could have made more meaningful use of his Smartphone Pecking Skills...

Dear Mister Hitler,

I understand you have been killing millions of Jews, Catholics, Gypsies and Handicapped People. You are a terrible person and I am going to come over there and kill you.

Sincerely,

Mental Midget from the Future

 

Now that would have been a Tweet worth Tweeting!

Instead we have this kind of idiocy being transmitted through Social Media...

Dear Mister Quarterback,

I saw you miss the wide open receiver. I’m going to kill you.

Sincerely,

Mental Midget Long Time Fan

(Or should that be, Long Time Mental Midget Fan?)

 

The Late Paul Harvey just came into my computer pecking room and told me to tell my dear readers that the wide open receiver ran the wrong route.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Say a prayer that the LSU Quarterback pays as much attention to this threat as Hitler would have paid to his.

Change Partners

I’ve always liked Frank Sinatra. Too bad he died without knowing how much I enjoyed his singing.

 

One of his lesser known ballads was Change Partners. In the world of Modern “Musical” Entertainment, that title would certainly indicate something nasty but Frank’s songs were not nasty.

 

Change Partners tells this story...

·       Frank has fallen in love with a lady that is dancing repeatedly with the same dance partner.

·        Frank is dying to get a chance to dance with his new dancing love who does not know that she loves him too.

·        He just knows that, if she would dance with him one single time, she would fall in love with him and they would dance together forever (live happily ever after).

·        He comes up with the idea of tipping a ballroom attendant to tell the dancing guy that he has a phone call.

·        While the dancing guy is going to answer the phone call in the lobby, Frank will ask his future wife to dance (see #3 bullet above).

 

We in Modern World sometimes have trouble understanding Pre-Modern World. That means several of my dear readers just said to themselves, “Why did he not just answer his cell phone?”

 

Actually, I'm in Modern World and, in this case, I didn’t see the Modern World as it really is either. Do you see what’s wrong with my picture of these two marathon dancing partners dancing in Modern World? 

 

Ah Ha! Two of my dear readers are coming around to my way of thinking, seeing and noticing because two of you just said, “In Modern World both the dancing partners would be dancing and talking on their cell phones at the same time”.

 

I’m so proud of two of you!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Here I Go Noticing Again

The other day I used my Noticing Skills while one of the Presidential Candidates was at a podium making a speech. What did I Notice? I’m so glad you asked.

It was not the candidate that caught my attention but the people who were standing behind the candidate (there are almost always people standing behind speaking politicians nowadays). I Noticed that most of them were all taking pictures of the candidate with their cell phones.

 

Did I just hear you say that taking pictures of candidates is nothing unusual and I am wasting a Fella Noticed Commentary on this one?

Actually I am not wasting my time. Did you not take note of where the behind people were? That’s right they were behind the candidate. That means they were feverously taking picture of the back of the head of the candidate.

 

There are lots of things wrong with us and this is not earthshaking but it is silly.

 

This is the kind of thing we need to nip in the bud before it grows into something sillier.

Next thing you know we will be responding to requests for a Photo ID by whipping out our Drivers License with a picture of the back of our heads on it.

 

OK, I got carried away again...Or did I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Have Moved On From Noticing Things To Quibbling About Things. Should I Consider This Progress?

First Quibble...

Gun, bomb attack on American University in Kabul kills 13

 “KABUL (Reuters) - Thirteen people, including students and a professor, were killed in an attack on the American University in Kabul that had students leaping from the windows in panic, the Afghan government said on Thursday.

The attack began on Wednesday evening with a large explosion from what officials said was a car bomb followed by gunfire, as suspected militants stormed into the complex where foreign staff and pupils were working.”

Do you see my Quibble? You don’t? Go back and read it again. I’ll click here and wait... Waiting Music

 

You still don’t see my quibble words? Unbelievable!

 

Let me recap the violent keywords in the excerpt above...Gun, Bomb Attack, Kills 13, Large Explosion, Car Bomb, Gunfire and Stormed Into.

 

I give up on you. After all this time of my trying to improve your powers of observation, I am forced to feed you the Key Quibble Words...”Suspected Militants”. These bad guys are only suspected of being militants?!

 

I’m sure, you feel ashamed of yourself now.

------------------------

Second Quibble...

‘Breaking Bad’ Actor RJ Mitte: We Need More Disabled People Working in TV

“LOS ANGELES— “Breaking Bad” star RJ Mitte stated in an interview with the Irish Examiner on Wednesday that there isn’t enough exposure for disabled actors in the film and TV industry. The American actor, who himself is diagnosed with cerebral palsy, believes that disabled figures in the media should receive as much screen time as able-bodied actors.”

 

I must not understand what this Mitte guy (whoever that is) is getting at. Is he saying that half of all actors have to be disabled? Is that realistic? Is that reflective of the makeup of the population in general? Is he nuts?

 

What’s next?...

Ø In all Movies and TV Shows actors with Spaces Between Their Front Teeth must have screen time equal to actors without Spaces Between Their front Teeth.

Ø If there cannot be found enough Spaced Teeth Actors, should Non-Spaced Teeth Actors be required to have their teeth spaced before they can renew their actor license?

Ø Should actors who, as children, had their spaces removed with braces be required to have the spaces put back?

 

Don’t laugh. These are serious questions.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Useless Inventions

A few nights ago I watched a very informative documentary on TV about Thomas Edison. Wow! Now there was an inventor! He really was into the Invention Business big time!

We don’t see the likes of him around much anymore. I have been looking at Inventions/Innovations we are all familiar with, provided you are of my age, and I am amazed that anyone paid any attention to what these people came up with...

 

Ø Wires... For the life of me, I can’t understand why anyone would bother draping wire between their electronic equipment. That’s what Bluetooth is for! Why did we not always just use Bluetooth? Instead, we have been tripping over and untangling wires all these many years. Unconscionable!

Ø Paper Highway Maps... I realize that Gas Stations used to give them to us for free but that does not make it any better. Why did we not just use our GPS? I can see that you are dumbfounded trying to come up with a logical reason why we would not just simply use our GPS Systems but, don’t waste your time, there is none! Besides, think of all the trees we killed making those useless maps. It’s a wonder there are any trees left at all.

Ø Phone Booths... These things used to be everywhere. What a waste! Did you ever see anyone take their cell phones into a phone booth to make a call? I never did. And furthermore, the automobile is the perfect Phone Booth. It is comfortable, you getting to where you want to go as you use it and nobody has been peeing in your car!

 

Oh well, I guess I don’t have to understand everything.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Following North Korea’s Lead

The U.S. Government has just announced that its official posture towards North Korea has changed from Awfully Awful Place to Live to Wonderful Inviting Place to Live.

 

You don’t think this is important, interesting or believable news? Are you thinking you are going to pass on the rest of this posting? You better think again! Depending on your posture, this may be the most important Foolishness...Or Is It? that you have ever read!

 

This is especially true if you are one of the many who think that the only danger of falling asleep while sitting up straight is that your head might slump forward and knock your fruit loops out of your hand. If you nod off at the wrong time in the future you may be in imminent danger of losing your life!

 

Listen to this 30-second news clip to understand why I pecked out this warning...

(If this link will not open: Highlight it, Right-Click it, Copy it, Open a new tab or browser & Paste it into your URL Address Bar. I don’t know why you have to do this either.)

http://video.foxnews.com/v/5107918440001/north-korean-official-executed-for-bad-posture/?#sp=show-clips

 

Now you understand why this new desire for the Good Ole USofA to be more like the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is quite possibly the most important news of the day!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Why is it that Communist Countries so often use the words “Republic” and “Democratic” in their names?

·        North Korea... The Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

·        China... The People's Republic of China.

·        Romania... Romanian People’s Republic.

·        Czechoslovakia... The Czechoslovak Socialist Republic.

·        East Germany... The German Democratic Republic.

·        Et Cetera.

What Does Acting Have To Do With It?

I just knew Hollywood was behind all this trouble we are having in the Good Ole USofA!

It happens almost every night on the Nightly News. The Talking Heads are Talking Their Collective Heads about some people who are involved in something really bad/evil/not nice and one of them says something like, “It seems there are several Bad Actors involved here”.

 

Where did this “Bad Actors” phrase come from? Personally, I think it shows signs of coming from the same people who gave us, “Happy Campers”. I never did figure out where that one came from.

 

I think our 9% Approval Rating Congress ought to get involved. They could pass a 1% National Sales Tax to pay for Acting Lessons for up and coming Hollywood Bad Actors in order to improve their acting skills. If they were Better Actors, they would stay employed out in La-La Land and not venture out into the real world where they muck up things for the rest of us.

 

I know you are thinking that a 1% National Sales Tax would generate a lot more money than what is needed for acting lessons. I have an answer for that also. They could use the left over $2.7 Billion to reimburse the Highway Trust Fund from which they keep borrowing money for other “more worthwhile” uses like Buying Votes.

 

Oh, My Gosh! Could it be that I am getting cynical or is it I am just being observant?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Am Glad Dead People Cannot Really Roll Over In Their Graves

Considering the chaos in Washington, D.C. aren’t you glad that Dead People Cannot Really Roll Over In Their Graves?

 

If they could roll over, can you then imagine how gosh darn exhausted our Founding Fathers would be?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

If You Are About As Old As I Am, You Will Remember… “Save Your Confederate Money, Boys, The South Will Rise Again!”

This Foolishness...Or Is It is not about Confederate Money but you can go online and buy Movie Money and then you can go out and buy stuff.

Better yet, go get out your dusty Monopoly Game and use that because there are a lot of suckers out there and the Monopoly Money just may be Dusty Closet Gold.

Did I just hear you say, “What the heck are you talking about?” I thought you would never ask…

I give you full warning. You are going to think I am making this one up.

Over the last month, all of the bullet points below have been flying around where I live...

• $1,000 worth of Lawn Equipment was purchased at one of our Walmarts using 10 Movie Money $100 Bills (intended to be used as props in making movies).
• Later that same day one of the items was returned to another Walmart for cash.
• One of the thieves is also suspected of using the Movie Money to make purchases in another county but details of this caper have not been provided by my newspaper.
• A private citizen sold his 2001 VW Beetle to 2 guys for 13 $100 Movie Money Bills.
• Hours later the same 2 guys bought another private citizen’s 2006 Volvo for 20 $100 Movie Money Bills.

What’s wrong with us? (Does it not seem to you that I am asking this What’s Wrong With Us question more and more all the time?)

 

Someone ain’t paying attention. This is Fake Money. It does not even come very close to looking like real money because it is written on the bills that the bills are to be used for motion picture making only.

 

If the perpetrators get caught, it is possible that they will get off the hook because their fate will be in the hands of our crack Judicial System. I can just hear their lawyers pleading their cases...

• But your Honor, you can’t pin these crimes on my clients. They are too stupid to know better.
• But your Honor, my clients were being left behind by their neighbors. All of their neighbors had lots of lawn equipment and they hardly had any.
• But your Honor, my clients all are too poor to afford reading glasses. I’m sure you will agree that the words which stipulated that the money was to be used in the making of movies only were written quite small. My clients just could not read the warning.
• If your Honor will not accept the above bullet point as valid, I will be compelled to ask for a recess during which I will make up a compelling argument stipulating that my clients are illiterate and they simply could not read the warning.

I can just hear the His Honor saying to the lawyers, “I must commend you. You have made some very good points, counselor!”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

If I Think This Is Crazy Does That Make Me Crazy?

There is a "Martyr's Fund" through which the Palestinian Authority and the Palestine Liberation Organization pay the families of all Palestinian Prisoners and the families of martyrs (those who die killing Israelis).

Want a recent example? Click here: 13 Year Old Girl Stabbed To Death While Sleeping In Her Bed

 

Did you just say this does not surprise you? Prepare to get surprised...

The Israel and the U.S. Governments pay “Development Assistance” to the Palestinian Authority and, to show how much the killing of Israeli Citizens is frowned upon by the Israel and the U.S. Governments each has cut off their Development Assistance Payments.

There is an untruth in the paragraph I pecked out above. The truth is the payments have not been cut off but are only being reduced by the amount of money the Palestinian Authority pays through the Martyr’s Fund.

 

You are at this very moment thinking I am making things up again. Read as much of this article from the Bloomberg.com as you need to to convince yourself that I pecked out the truth... Payments For Killing Jews

------------------------

The Palestinians have gone too far this time! Our State Department has sprung into Really Impressive Word Usage...

"We condemn in the strongest possible terms the outrageous terrorist attack this morning. This brutal act of terrorism is simply unconscionable. We extend our deepest condolences to her family.”

Notice the use of such strong words as “condemn”, “strongest possible terms”, “outrageous”, “brutal”, “act of terrorism” and “simply unconscionable”.  If the bad guys are wearing boots, I feel confident that they are quaking in them for sure!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Silly Me

What a fool I am! All this time I have been baffled as to why My Little Read Book has sold so few copies. I have finally figured it out! 

As much as I think I am Computer Savvy I have been blind to the world of technology around me.

 

I have marketed my book as the World’s Greatest Bathroom Book. That might be true but it is a perfect example of marketing to the past. With the onslaught of Smartphones, the World is not reading books in the bathroom, they are reading Smartphones instead! How did I not see that?

 

Now I know how the World’s Greatest Buggy Whip Manufacturer must have felt.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Hey World, you know my book is available on Kindle...Or do you?

You May Find This Hard To Believe… Even Though My Last Blog Was Very Long, It Was Unfinished

Buy the World’s Greatest Bathroom Book at:

Amazon.com...  Now available on Kindle! ... Click Here

Barnes & Noble  ...  Click Here

My Publisher ...  Click Here

Our Federal, State, County and City Rulers ought to follow the example of California’s Revolutionary Zero-Emissions Bill and become pro-active with this type legislation to make our country what our Founding Fathers always envisioned it was to become.

Laws ought to be passed along these lines. They could be called Founding Fathers’ Bucket List Laws...

Ø In order to reduce Murders in the Good Ole USofA, a law ought to be passed that will require that the Murder Rate be reduced by 27% five years from the date that the law goes into effect.

Ø In order to prevent future tax increases, drivers all over the Fruited Plain ought to be required to park in No Parking Areas so that they can be ticketed.

Ø The Divorce Rate in America is growing at an alarming rate. A law ought to be passed that would prohibit marriage. It will not be long before we can all be proud of our Low Divorce Rate.

 

I could go on because I am full of these types of innovated ideas. In fact ever since I began writing Foolishness...Or Is It? 11 years ago I have been told many times that I was full of it.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

This Is The Easiest Way To Turn The People’s Hopes Into Reality. This Is Especially True If The People Don’t Have The Same Hopes That You Tell Them They Ought To Have.

Buy the World’s Greatest Bathroom Book at:

Amazon.com...  Now available on Kindle! ... Click Here

Barnes & Noble  ...  Click Here

My Publisher...  Click Here

A California Lawmaker next week will introduce a bill requiring 15 percent of all vehicles sold in the state to be Emissions Free by 2025. 

It hit me like a ton of bricks! How simple! Our rulers just need to decide what’s best for us, or what it is that they want to do to us, and pass a law that requires that we do what the law requires us to do.

 

Back to California’s Mental Midget Legislative Process. I see some problems with this Make It Happen Dictate. You may not see what I see but remember I spent my working years inside the Automotive Industry and I rose to the highest level possible in a mediocre career. I know of which I speak...Or do I?

 

Ø California’s Governor Moonbeam has set an ambitious goal of 1.5 million Electric Cars by 2025.

Ø Even if he could require the automotive manufacturers to make enough Electric Cars to reach 1.5 million, there would still be problems.

Ø What if the good people of California don’t want to buy Electric Cars?

Ø Maybe the rulers of California will institute an Electric Car Buyer Lottery Selection Process (ECBLSP) that would be used to select those California Minions that would be required to buy an Electric Car.

Ø If they already had an Electric Car, they could be declared exempt and the ECBLSP would be spun again and another Mandatory Electric Car Buyer would be designated.

Ø If the people selected to buy an Electric Car already had a Polluting Car and don’t feel they need to replace it, another law could be passed whereby they would be required to destroy the Polluting Car they own and buy an Electric Car for the greater good of the State of California.

Ø The Mandatory Electric Car Buyers would, of course, be prohibited from trading in their Polluting Car on their new Electric Car because this would negate the long term positive effect on the California Air Quality because, if they traded it in, the old Polluting Car would still be out there and being driven by some other uncaring citizen.

Ø In order to comply with the need to destroy Polluting Cars in the 2 bullets above, the state should construct and force private businessmen to purchase and operate 386 Car Grind Up Into Little Pieces Machines to grind up the Polluting Cars into little pieces.

Ø In order to not place an undue burden on those people who have to destroy their Polluting Cars, the state should fix the maximum charge for grinding up a car at $500 (which will automatically become the minimum charge).

Ø The state will take under advisement a proposal for instituting a Rebate Program that would pay those good citizens who are required to grind up their cars an offset of $25 to be used towards the $500 maximum but now the minimum grind up fee.

Ø It should be noted that the above bulleted Rebate Program is not a commitment by the state. As stated, it is only being taken Under Advisement. It is not the state’s responsibility to assist in any way those citizens who chose on their own to buy Air Polluting Vehicles.

 

I could go on and on because I learned a lot about cars in my rise up the latter of mediocre success in the Automotive Industry but I will stop now. My fingers are tired and I feel confident that the Rulers of California will plug all the loopholes I may have missed.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Who’s Watching The Watchers?

I heard a Member of Congress make the bolded centered comment below. My Aunt Josie who died a few years ago at 103 and 3 days used to tell me when I was a child that I had Big Eyes. Even Aunt Josie would be surprised to see how big my eyes get when I hear Gems of “Wisdom” like this flow out of the collective mouths of Members of Congress.

Recently I was watching a panel discussion about one of our current Ongoing National Scandals (the IRS). The point was made by one Congressional Talking Head that an Oversight Committee had been set up to get to the bottom of this shameful situation. Another Congressional Talking Head countered with the following...

Yes we finally have an Oversight Committee set up but the problem we now have is we do not have Effective Oversight of the Oversight Committee

I know that many of my dear readers are skimmers & they miss many key points in my blogs because they zip right over my sometimes nifty use of the English language. I am, therefore, going repeat this Congressional Idiocy but this time I will underline the key words...

Yes we finally have an Oversight Committee set up but the problem we now have is we do not have Effective Oversight of the Oversight Committee

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking I made this Oversight Silliness up. When will you doubters ever accept that fact that, as long as we have a 9% Approval Rated U.S. Congress out there, there is no need for me to make up Foolishness?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I sometimes wonder if those who say these kinds of silly things regret what they say as soon as they say it. Do they immediately think to themselves, “I hope no one heard me say that?” The sad truth is they probably are thinking to themselves, “I’m going to go down in history with that one! My brilliance is on display for all to see!”...Or is it?