I Feel Like A Failure

I self-published my book & to this day only 98 people have obtained a copy for their bathrooms.

American Sniper was also self-published & has sold hundreds of thousands of copies & the movie has 5 Academy Award Nominations.

As far as I know I do not have a single Academy Award Nomination.

I have too much pride to have ever begged anyone to buy my book but, on more than one occasion, I have cried myself to sleep about my lagging sales numbers.

I have begun to fight back. I have a new plan to boost sales. I am going to change my catchy sales enticer phrase from World's Greatest Bathroom Book to the Best Little Read Book On The Prairie.

That oughta do it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(137)

Let's Go This Way Cuz Harm's Way Is That Way

We now know that back in December the United Arab Emirates suspended participation in coalition air strikes against Isis because of concerns for their pilot's safety.

That's not the way it's supposed to be in war time. You are supposed to go where the enemy is & do you level best to break things. And yes, more often than not, it is not safe.

What if others throughout history had gone as far as the United Arab Emirates have gone to keep their pilots safe?...

Normandy... General Eisenhower's says to his staff on June 1, 1944, "Intelligence reports indicate that invading France might be fraught with difficulties. Let's wait till the Nazi's get tired of occupying France &/or they all get old & die. Our invasion would have a far better chance of success if we just practice a little patience."

Landing On The Moon... In 1969 bunch of those really smart people over in Houston decide to issue a press release. In it they say, "We have decided that there's are a lot of unknowns about trying to land on the moon. It also might be very dangerous. Instead, we are sending our Astronauts over to Death Valley to dig up some rocks over there."

Medical Evacuation By Helicopter In Vietnam... Our job was to go get wounded soldiers wherever they were. Many times this meant going into an active battle, landing & loading the wounded under fire. I don't think we would have retrieved many wounded if we had said to each other, "There's a lot of shooting going on in the landing zone where the wounded are. Let's go to that landing zone about a mile away. There are no wounded there but neither are there any bad guys that would be shooting at us. It will be a lot safer."

Tweet to UAE... No chit, Sherlock. Flying can be dangerous. May we also recommend that you bar your pilots from bouncing around in those Bouncy Blow Up Thingies at their children's birthday parties. Those things are accidents waiting to happen & it has also been reported that they are full of germs.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(372)

We Have A Hall Of Fame For Darn Near Everything

Believe it or not, there is such a thing as the...

United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame

Why there is a United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame I’m not quite sure but that’s not the reason for this Foolishness...Or Is It?. I'm more intrigued by the thinking of the United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame.

To my way of thinking a stick isn't much of anything. Not so with the United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame. They actually inducted The Stick into their Hall in 2008.

The Hall tells us this about The Stick...

Ø It may be the world’s oldest toy.

Ø Even animals play with sticks since we use them to play fetch with our dogs.

Ø Children find sticks an endless source of make-believe fun.

Ø When children pretend with sticks, they cultivate their creativity and develop their imaginations.

Ø Sticks can turn into swords, magic wands, majorette batons, fishing poles, and light sabers.

I would be willing to bet that the above bullets have been Politically Corrected. I say that because I feel certain the word “guns” was removed. This is very likely what the last bullet above originally looked like...

Ø Sticks can turn into swords, guns, magic wands, majorette batons, fishing poles, and light sabers.

The Stick's ability to be used as an imaginary gun is the reason why the United Nations, working hand in hand with our 18% Approval Rated Congress (I just saw where Congress moved up from 11% to 18%), got The Stick outlawed. My sources tell me that it was a unanimous vote because no one had the guts to come to the defense of such a pervasive evil.

I think sticking it to The Stick is the main contributing factor to the dramatic increase in dog suicides worldwide.

Looking past the sad fact that we are losing so many of man's best friends, I think we ought to look on the bright side...

Ø The outlawing of the Stick has had a major effect on bringing down the high unemployment rates that have been dogging our economy for years now.

Ø Millions of formerly unemployed Americans are now gainfully employed walking around the Good Ole USofA picking up sticks in order to get them out of circulation & being paid living wages with money we borrowed from China.

------------------------

I admit there is often Subject Repetition in my Blogging but it has to be that way because Stupid does not go away just because I write a single blog posting exposing it to the world.

On the other hand there is also Subject Variety in my Blog. This Posting proves it. I bet you never would have guessed that you would one day be reading about a United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame.

If you said to me that you did foresee my writing a Blog Posing like this one, I would suspect that you were toying with me.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(544)

Lagniappe: Personally I think Senator Foghorn Leghorn got carried away when he added an Earmark to the Ban the Stick Bill which also banned worldwide use of the phrase, Stick to Your Guns.

The Japanese Ought To Follow Our Lead

My newspaper tells me that Japan is having a Shrinking Population Problem. The crux of the problem is the fact that Japanese women are only having 1.4 children.

Even those of us who are opposed to Abortion are perplexed about what position we should take when a Japanese woman chooses to abort four tenths of a baby.

My news article said, Japan's Shrinking Population Problem is magnified because Out of Wedlock Births are uncommon in Japan.

There where we can be of help in fixing this pressing issue for Japan. We have Out of Wedlock Birthing down to a science.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(113)

What’s The Matter With “A Whole Bunch”?

The forecast for a recent holiday weekend was that 54.7 Million people would be on the highways & byways of the good Ole USofA.

How do they know that it’s going to be such a precise big number?

I heard you try & put me in my rightful place. I heard you say to yourself, "That's easy, Fella, they put a whole bunch of Bureaucrats with clip boards beside every interstate highway, state highway, street & goat path in the Good Ole USofA & counted them as they went by".

Yea, smart guy, I know that's what they (whoever "they" are) do but how do they do it before it is done?

Why did they just not just say, “A Whole Bunch of People Are Going To Be On The Highways & Byways This Coming Weekend”?

I would found that easier to believe.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(156)

Can You Hear Me Now?

Throughout history we have had Ages...Bronze Age, Iron Age, Industrial Age, Middle Ages, Age of Discovery, Age of Enlightenment, Machine Age, Atomic Age, Information Age, etc. Even if you were not as observant as I am, (there is a darn good chance that you are not) you must have noticed that America is deep into The Talking Age.

Cell phone talking people are all around us. They talk while walking. They talk on exercise machine in the gym. They talk on nature trails as they walk along ignoring nature. They talk while at stoplights. They talk while driving down streets, highways & interstates giving a new resurgence to the fear created by Ralph Nader's 1965 book, "Unsafe At Any Speed"...

However, there is a fly in this ointment (whatever that means). The talking people are running out of people to talk to.

It is simply a matter of Supply & Demand. The people they want to talk to are already talking to other people. We are seeing evidence of this growing phenomena every day...

• More & more rescue squads are being sent into the Nature Tails referred to above to bring out stranded walkers who ran out of people to talk to while they were walking. As a society we are finding out that many of us have lost the ability to walk without talking. The rescuers are finding the walkers just standing out there with a look on their faces akin to somewhere between confusion and downright fear. Many times they are found in a severe state of dehydration.
• Some of us find we are unable to push down on the accelerator pedal without first making phone contact with another talking person. Many people have stayed in their garages for hours while the franticly dial every phone number in their address books. Husbands have come home from work only to find their wives weeping uncontrollably with the car in reverse but without the ability to back out of the garage.
• One of the strangest cases of this phenomena happened recently in Altoona, PA. A driver finished a call & had overcome the initial urge to panic between calls & continued to navigate down the road. In an unthinking moment the driver put its phone hand on the steering wheel. The shock of seeing both hands on the steering wheel at the same time cause a panic reflex action & the driver swerved the car off the road. Thankfully the two walking talkers on the sidewalk were not hit but they were very shook up as the car careened past them into a weeping willow tree.

Actually the sainted Steve Jobs saw this unsettling situation coming before he went up to take over God’s Information Technology Department. After his death one of his minions found the plans on his drawing board for a Conversational Siri.

This next generation Siri will be able to hold conversations with the Walking Driving Talking People around the world who find themselves without a listener.

When a talker runs out of people to talk to, for a small fee the panicked talker can call 1-800-SiriYou (800-747-4968) & be connected with Conversational Siri & chat to their heart's content.

Actually, although I did not see it at the time, I was shown a glimpse of Steve Job's genius on my first contact with Siri. I was not sure what the word for Siri was & I mistakenly started my question by saying Sorry instead of Siri. Siri came right back at me & said, "No need to apologize...".

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(640)

Lagniappe: Steve Jobs in the Apple...

Design created by Jonathan Mak is a student at Hong Kong’s Polytechnic University School of Design

(At last count two other "creators" of the logo are lawyering up.)

How Can Dumb Be Considered So Smart?

I'm surrounded by people smarter than I am. It is starting to get to me. I think I know what I think I know but I can't be right because the smart people surrounding me are in positions of power &/or are paid a lot of money, so I must be wrong...Or am I?

Confused by my nifty lead in to this bit of Foolish Wisdom? Good! I have your attention. Allow me to explain.

I have not been very active spewing out my foolishness lately, but while I have been quiet, the world around us has been going nuts.

Amongst all the nuttiness there has been an awful lot of violence. When the world gets into this kind of tiller, the Smart Ones in the News Media explain it all to us.

Example #1 of why Stupid Ain't Smart...

Ø One of the 2 brothers that attacked that Sarcastic Publication in Paris was arrested on suspicion of being a terrorist in 2005.

Ø He was convicted of Terrorism Charges in 2008.

Ø Did you understand what you just read?

Ø I'll repeat... He Was Convicted Of Terrorism Charges.

Ø The French Judicial System Released Him For Time Served While Awaiting The Trail That Convicted Him.

That's right. They went to all the trouble of arresting, holding & convicting so they could let him go free.

Is it possible that the French Judicial System is related to the U.S. Judicial System?

------------------------

Example #2 of why Stupid Ain't Smart...

Ø Over in France there is this guy who is being referred to as the #1 Recruiter for al Qaeda in Paris.

Ø He has been busy doing more than recruiting.

Ø He was convicted of plotting to blow up the U.S. Embassy in Paris.

Ø As a result of his conviction, he was put under House Arrest.

Ø At this time the French Authorities do not know where he is.

Apparently no one checked to see if the house he was arrested into had a back door.

The French Judicial System must be related to the U.S. Judicial System!

------------------------

Example #3 of why Stupid Ain't Smart...

I was watching CNN the other day & I heard a Pretty Talking Head ask the following question, "Do you think another attack is possible?"

This mental midget is paid to be Pretty & to Say The News. I believe she is capable of handling both of these responsibilities. She has the Pretty Part Down Pat & Saying The News from a teleprompter ain't that hard.

What I don't think she is capable of doing is thinking. If she were able to think, she would have said, "Do you think another attack is coming before next Thursday?"

------------------------

Since this is the Bottom, I will tell you The Bottom Line... The French are getting Real Tough & Real Serious about terrorism now, but before they became Tough & Serious, they were Real Stupid.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(517)

Lagniappe: If Inspector Clouseau were alive, he would be turning over in his grave.

I'm Not Supposed To Be Smart But They Are

"Islamist Hack Hits U.S. Military Accounts; Documents Posted"

Above is the headline of an article in my newspaper on 1/13/15. What the heck is going on? Is there not anything we can believe in anymore?

Think I am overreacting? Here are a few examples from a long & growing list of organizations we no longer believe in...

Ø The Internal Revenue Service

Ø The Secret Service

Ø The Federal Bureau of Investigation

Ø Oregon's Football Team Has Molded Itself Into An Unbeatable Force

The Military is responsible for protecting us from the bad guys. Now we find out that they have been hacked & the article says they may have been hacked by amateurs…"Officials are still examining how the breach occurred. Hackers may simply have guessed a weak password".

There are several key words in the above quote that ought to give all of us pause (whatever that means)...

Ø "Simply"... Simply ought not to come into play when it comes to protecting us from the bad guys.

Ø "Guessed"... What game are we playing here, charades?

Ø "Weak Password"... Weak is not what the Military is supposed to be about. Oh well, don't worry the bad guys are probably weak also... Or are they?

------------------------

Now from my, "And Furthermore Department"...

What the heck is our Military doing with Twitter & YouTube Account anyway? This is silly stuff for those of us who have nothing better to do. The Military is supposed to have something better to do.

I must backtrack a bit here because I just saw a Pentagon News Conference and the sadness & distress I saw on General Bombast's face moved me to feel his pain as I heard him say, "I am so disappointed! I was looking forward to sharing with the world that video of my grandchild Hercules as he slid down that chute chute with that big smile on his face as he ate his peanut butter & jelly sandwich".

I can see the cynicism on your collective faces at what I pecked out in the paragraph above. You think I made up General Bombast & his sadness & his distress & the only thing real in that entire paragraph was the existence of the peanut butter & jelly sandwich. You may be right but, if it were true, it would be true.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(457)

Lagniappe: Does it make you uneasy the way I so often say I can read your minds & emotions as I did with my reference to your collective cynicism above? If I were you it would make me uneasy. OK I'll admit I can't read your minds & emotions... Or can I?

Shaken Baby Syndrome

As my loyal readers know, I am a Noticer. It is sort of a blessing but sometimes it is depressing.

You, not being me, walk right by things that I find really interesting. You need not worry because you have Foolishness...Or Is It? to point out what you missed. I know that gives you solace...Or does it?

This posting is going to point out a phenomenon that has been happening all around you for years but which you, not being me, have been looking right pass it.

What I am referring to and what I am worried about is Shaken Baby Syndrome. This has been happening ever since those Baby Carriers came on the scene. You know what I am talking about. Those are the ones that can be attached to the Baby Anchoring Contraptions in our cars but then can be lifted out & carried around so we don’t have to leave baby in our cars any longer.

Leaving baby in our cars is something that has been really frowned upon for years now. It is almost as serious as leaving the family dog in the car.

The problem with all of this is as baby is carried along it is bounced off the caring parent’s thighs over & over. Baby ends up being treated like one of those balls at the end of those long rubber bands attached to those paddles that we used to play with when we were kids before hand-held video games were invented.

What first caught my observant eye were the baby’s eyes. I noticed that they were wide open & they conveyed a combination of shock & fear at what was happening to them.

I could just imagine them thinking to themselves things like...

• What the heck is going on? (They think “heck” because they have not yet learned to think curse words.)
• Why did I have to be born into an earthquake prone area?
• If I ever get out of this thing, I am going to become a teen-ager & I am going to make life miserable for that bouncer person up there.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(385)

Lagniappe: On August 1, 2010 my Silliness brushed by a similar subject…

Protecting Our Children Can Be Dangerous To Our Children

You Understand What I Said Even If I Did Not Say It...Or Do You?

Elliptical Sentence:

In the grammar of a sentence, an elliptical construction is a construction that lacks an element that is, nevertheless, recoverable or inferable from the context. The elliptical construction is a sequence of words in which some words have been omitted. Because of the logic or pattern of the entire sentence, it is easy to infer what the missing words are.

Would you like an example of modern usage of an Elliptical Sentence? I have one for you. The bullets below set it up. I did the underlining...

• U.S. Representative Michael Grimm (R) of New York has pleaded guilty to Federal Felony Tax Charges.
• However, following his guilty plea he said he will not resign.
• He said, “As long as I’m able to serve, I’m going to”.
• He noted he easily won a third term in November despite a 20-count federal indictment unveiled last April.
• He pleaded guilty to aiding the preparation of a false tax return in connection with a health food restaurant he co-owned before his political career.
• He said in court, “While operating a restaurant, we underestimated the gross receipts and used some of the money to pay employees off the books and some other expenses”.
• As part of a plea deal Grimm, whose trial had been scheduled for February, also signed a statement of facts, admitting to concealing over $900,000 in gross receipts from 2007 to 2010 and lying during a 2013 deposition.

Here is my Elliptical Sentence. The Inferred Part is in brackets:

I will not resign (because everyone else in Congress does this kind of thing).

The Fella can see his point. Why should he be the only one to do the honorable thing? Why should he be held to a higher standard? That’s just asking too much.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(322)

Recalling A Holiday Bit Of Foolishness From The Past

Back by popular demand (a couple of dear readers) I bring you a holiday money making Idea from 5 years ago.

Even though this was a sure-fire money maker, where I offered my dear readers the opportunity to invest with The Fella, I still find it hard to believe that no one send me any investment cash.

Click here...   http://forii.blogspot.com/2009/11/grandmanearyoucom.html

Would I kid u again?

Smartfella

(76)

Merry Christmas...Or is it?

This is from One Single Page of my newspaper today 12/24/14...

• France steps up patrols after spate of attacks.
• Canadian found guilty of dismembering Chinese student.
• 60 journalists killed in 2014.
• Officials order Ohio man to take down zombie Nativity scene.
• NY protesters reject plea for hiatus.
• U.S. Rep. Grimm won’t resign after tax fraud.
• Coke to cut up to 2,000 jobs in coming weeks.
• FBI warns of ISIS threat to bridge.
• Fla. Police hunt for shooters who injured nine.

Oh well, maybe it will be all better by New Years Day...Or will it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(113)

There Is No Doubt He Did It But...

This one is going to be very involved but stay with it. I know you can handle it.

Here are the facts...

• We have in my neck of the woods a Former Boy Scout Leader who is accused of sexually molesting Boy Scouts.
• He was arrested in July 2008.
• A total of 17 children have come forward to accuse him.
• Included in the 17 are his own children.
• Evidence shows that the accused sexually molested the children, took inappropriate pictures of them & many of them were rendered unconscious.
• The molestations took place over a period of 13 years (1995 to 2008).
• The case has been winding its way through our Crack Judicial System.
• He has had many lawyers.
• Eight different judges have recused themselves from the case.

This convoluted court journey ended on December 18, 2014... At least it temporarily ended...

• The current defense lawyer agreed to a Bench Trial (no jury...just a judge).
• The judge found the Boy Scout Leader guilty on 31 of 32 indictments.
• He has been sentenced to 2 Life Sentences plus 10 years (only a lawyer can understand this).
• The defense did not challenge the validity of the state’s case but did not plead guilty either (only a lawyer can understand this).
• This means he did not admit he committed a crime but he admitted to all the facts that constitute the crime (only a lawyer can understand this).

Here is the legal maneuvering that made the use of the word “temporarily” above meaningful...

• On two occasions, there have been attempts made to get the Court of Appeals to review rulings that had previously been made on several pretrial motions.
• The Court of Appeals has declined to review these rulings until after trial.
• The Current Defense Lawyer agreed to the bench trial in an effort to find the most efficient way of bringing this case to the Court of Appeals.
• The Current Defense Lawyer says he is confident that he will prevail on appeal and they will return for a jury trial in the upcoming year.
• If Our Boy Scout Leader had pleaded guilty, he would have waived his right to appeal.

Here is the awful part of what happens in our Judicial System...

The Defense Lawyers delayed, obfuscated, objected and appealed for all these years (arrested in 2008) & the referenced “pretrial motions” have to do with Constitutional Speedy Trial Claims.

In other words, they delayed the proceedings so that they could later claim that the proceeding had been delayed.

Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied... We have met the enemy & he is us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(492)

Lagniappe: After this guy gets acquitted he will probably sue for Unjustifiable Removal from His Boy Scout Leader Position &, of course, Mental Anguish & Pain & Suffering.

More Unassailable Logic From The Smartfella

Here I go again. I can’t help myself. I am determined to fix what’s wrong with the Good Ole USofA through the use of Common Sense & Logic.

The Secret Service was once one of the most respected organizations in this country. Now it appears to be a hollow facade of Bumblers & Incompetents but fear not because the Fella is coming to the rescue.

Back in September an intruder breached the White House itself. Here is what happened...

• He jumped the White House fence.
• He ran across its big lawn.
• He entered into the White House itself.
• He ran through several rooms.
• He was finally tackled & subdued by an Off Duty Secret Service Agent.
• The security breach triggered a rare evacuation of much of the White House, with Secret Service officers drawing their guns as they rushed staffers and journalists out a side door.

There are the facts. The Fix is there right in front of you. What you don’t see it? I’ll even give you a hint. The fix is in the fifth bullet above.

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you can’t see the obvious solution to the Secret Service’s many problems!

OK, I’ve waited long enough. You are going to feel silly when I tell you...

We Need To Hire A Whole Bunch Of New Off Duty Secret Service Agents!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(243)

Everyone In My Neck Of The Woods Is All Excited!

Another Subject Title Of This Posting Could Be... The Most Anticipated After Picture in the History of Before & After Pictures

Calling on my unerring ability to see the future, I predict that the After Picture referred to above will never happen. Please read through this posting until the end to see my irrefutable logic.

First the reason for the excitement...

Krispy Kreme Is Opening a New Store

It is going to be absolute chaos! The Krispy people have set up a bunch of yummy giveaways to ensure that the chaos is chaotic to the nth degree (whatever that means).

On opening day...

• The first person in line will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every week for a year.
• Customers 2 through 100 will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every month for a year.

My prediction is directed at lucky customer #1. As stated in the opening paragraph of this blog posting, I predict that the After Picture will never happen because somewhere between weeks #48 & #51, before that picture can be taken, customer #1 will explode. The only evidence that he ever existed will be his gooey shoes.

Did I hear some of you question why the shoes would remain after such a horrific explosion? Allow me to explain...

Ever since I put the late Albert Einstein’s picture in my Foolishness Office, he has been paying me visits on a regular basis. He does this because no one else appears to know who he is...was. Simply stated, the man is lonely.

He explained to me that the reason the shoes would remain intact is, when things explode, they Blow Up not Down &, obviously, his shoes are down.

Who am I (or you) to question his opinion on this? This man knows all about explosions.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(319)

This Blog Posting Is Apolitical

At first blush those of you who lean to the Left may take this Blog Posting to be an attack on politicians you support. If this is what you see, you are not seeing what I am attempting to point out. Please read slowly.

This is not a Left/Right Diatribe. This is my way of pointing out that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is obsessed with spending money. Their mindset is more akin to... If we spend a lot we have done a lot.

Here is my Apolitical Thinking...

If the Fella had read that Congress had spent $100,000 on their "Torture Report" he probably would have said, "Why did you spend such a large amount of money? What is wrong with you guys? You are obsessed with spending for the sake of spending!"

This indignation proves The Fella has no understanding of the ability of Congress to open our wallets.

The actual number spent by our Drunken Sailor 9% Approval Rated Congress on this report was $40,000,000!!!

Because of my past attempts to educate you, my dear readers, I know you know how much $1,000,000 is but, for the sake of those new to my Blog's Wisdom, I'll lay it out again...

A million is a thousand thousand.

By spending Forty Million Dollars our duly elected Congress has spent...

Forty Thousand Thousand Dollars

It seems to me that 100 thousand dollars ought to be more than enough to spend on any investigation.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn has been looking over my shoulder as I peck this posting out & he has just become agitated at what I am saying. He finally said, "Son, why son, forty ain't much! Hell, forty is not even fifty. Everyone knows fifty is a lot more than forty. If we had spent fifty, you might have a point, son, but you are just being picky, son! You ought to use your excellent communication skill to do something of more importance like getting Postal Workers to Smile Once a Day!"

The Senator really means well & actually is a reasonable fellow. He saw the look of anguish on my face when I contemplated the impossibility of trying to get a postal worker to smile. In an effort to show his compassion, he quickly changed my assignment, "Son, why son, I feel your pain. I'll give you an easier task. Why don't you get the Mississippi River to change course & flow out to California? They need the water out there."

He saw the relief of my face as I realized my new assignment was much easier. We both felt better.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(496)

Lagniappe: I often make reference to Senator Foghorn Leghorn. If you don’t know who he is, click below. Watch as much as you can stand...

Foghorn Leghorn Rants

(Issue: It might take a minute for the picture to appear after the sound starts. If so, click the refresh button. Heck if I know what the problem is.)

Understanding The Logic Behind Congressional Inner Workings

I am certain that your excitement is at a fever pitch about the promise contained in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I am excited also.

Yesterday I was watching a House of Representatives Hearing. The Chairman in his introductory remarks said the following, “All Members Will Have Seven Days to Submit Opening Statements For The Record”.

Did I just hear some of you say that his statement about Opening Statement confuses you? It seems to be pretty straight forward to me.

Sometimes I am at a loss for words to understand why my dear readers do not understand what they do not understand. You are obviously intelligent because you are smart enough to read my foolishness but many times you just can’t understand plain English!

Please allow me to allow me to explain in the simplest wording I can put together. In this context...

• “Opening” refers to the beginning.
• “Seven Days” means anywhere from 24 hours to 168 hours after the beginning.

Now I am confused! Is the Chairman telling us that committee members can actually tailor their Opening Comments about the committee hearing after having the benefit of reading the testimony of what actually transpired in the committee hearing?

I would not be surprised if these Opening Statements are really Forward Thinking.

Would they kid u?

Smartfella

(284)

Lagniappe: Regarding the promise I made in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I must admit I can’t live up to that lofty commitment. I meant well but I have failed and, as they say in Congress, “I sincerely apologize for my shortcomings. That having been said & duly recorded, let’s go to Happy Hour.”

We Have Moved Beyond Good News & Bad News. Now We Have Bad News & Worse News.

The Bad News

A small child asks his Father a question in the not-too-distant future... “I really like this Holiday Season. I especially like all the presents I get on December 25. I really thank you for the Ray Gun you gave me this year. It is going to be a blast to shoot especially since there is now a law that says I can incinerate people with spaces between their front teeth.”

“The Holiday Season is so special! How did the Holiday Season originate?”

The Worse News

The Father says to his Small Child, “I don’t know”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(151)

Lagniappe: It would be even worse if the Father had said, “I don’t know. I anticipated your asking this question so I Googled it but Google did not know either”.

Is It My Fault That I Have An Uncanny Ability To See The Obvious?

I originally wrote this Blog Posting on January 29, 2010. I have sent it out before as a reminder of how obviously smart I am about the obvious. Now I am doing it again because it is obvious that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is not reading my Foolishness.

I must correct the above sentence. Actually I have it from my sources in Washington, D.C. that many of them are reading my silliness. This makes the future prospects look even worse for the Good Ole USofA. They are reading the Fella’s Foolishness yet they are ignoring the obvious.

I have often said, “If the horse is dead, get off the horse”. If I truly believe that, why am I sending this 2010 piece of wisdom out again? Simply stated I am a Patriot & I keep hoping that one day our 9% Approval Rated Congress will all shout in one voice, “By golly, the Smartfella ain’t stupid!”

Yes, Dear Reader, our duly elected Congress is about to raise the Debt Limit again...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-does-word-limit-mean-to-you.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose?

There is a town next to the town I live in called Suwanee. It is a nice place, well organized & many times has gotten national recognition as a great place to live.

That being said, it appears to me Suwanee is a town that has been Amucked, as in Political Correctness is Running Amuck over there.

This is the time of year when the Lighting of the Christmas Tree used to be on the calendars of communities all over the Good Ole USofA. They did not even have to be Nice Places nor Well Organized nor Recognized to have a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony.

This is not the case anymore & not even in Nice Well Organized Recognized Suwanee, GA.

Announcing...

Suwanee’s Jolly Holly-day Celebration

(Formerly the Old Town Holiday Festival & Caboose Lighting)

Yes, Dear Readers, Suwanee is about to light up a Caboose because Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose? Cabooses are so Correct.

I will never forget the caller to a Radio Talk Show who was objecting to a Manger Scene in front of his City Hall. If you are thinking he was objecting based on Separation of Church & State Grounds you would be wrong in thinking that. He said he was objecting because every time he drove past the Manger Scene he Felt Threatened.

I wonder if there is actually a Christmas Tree over in a dark corner of Suwanee Town Center with a sign on it saying, “Do not look at this relic of the past. If you do look, you might feel threatened”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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