A “That’s Not News” Headline

I saw a headline in my newspaper that read as follows...

Room for Savings Found in Medicare

The people who feed us news think this is news. A better headline would be...

Anywhere You Look in Medicare Expenditures You Can See Money That Could Be Saved

Saying there is “room for saving” in Medicare is as nonsensical a headline, as these are...

• Magic Johnson Knows How To Bounce A Basketball
• Cancer Is Not Good For Your Health
• People Who Make Millions Of Dollars A Year Have A Lot Of Money

Just where does the article say we are going to save money? It says we are going to force labs that are paid through Medicare to accept less money and this will supposedly save close to $1 Billion a year.

I will agree that there are probably overcharges by the labs but can’t you just see the finders of this money saving idea saying to themselves, “We don’t have to look for savings any more because we have done such a good job of plugging this hole. Where is my Plugging Wasteful Spending Bonus money?”

If the head guy at Medicare would call me and ask for input, I would point him to Waste, Fraud & Abuse. I’m sorry to say he would probably respond to me, “What’s that?”

The same day I saw the headline that got me cranking on this posting, I saw this on TV...

• Last year $32.7 Billion was lost to Waste, Fraud & Abuse in Medicare.
• Last year $19.2 Billion was lost to Waste, Fraud & Abuse in Medicaid.
• My TV said this kind of money wasting has been going on for decades.

Does it make you wonder why our government can’t stop the Waste, Fraud & Abuse, if they know exactly how much was wasted, frauded & abused? They did not say that a whole bunch of money was wasted, frauded & abused. They very precisely say $32.7 & $19.2 Billion. That’s pretty specific. If they can tally it up, they must know where the Waste, Fraud & Abuse is happening. Go Get ‘Em, Guys!

I heard a member of Congress say this about the $32.7 & the $19.2 Billion...

Because things in the economy now are tight we are paying more attention to this kind of thing. In the past we were fairly indulgent.

The Smartfella has this to say about that...Thank heaven things are tight!

If you are like me, you stared at “fairly indulgent” for a long time.

There you go thinking the Smartfella made up the Congressman’s silly utterance. I swear on my little-bought book that this is what I heard him say.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Special message to Upa. Don’t add a comment to this blog posting telling me that “frauded” is not a word.

IceRocket Tags: Waste Fraud and Abuse,Medicare,Medicaid

I Have A New Hero

If any of you knew what’s in my head, and none of you know what’s in my head until it comes out of my mouth, this posting would not be a surprise to you.

What’s coming out of my head today is that I have new hero. He is Bill Belichick the Coach of the New England Patriots.

Several years ago, the New England Patriots NFL Football team was caught secretly taping upcoming opponent’s supposed to be secret practices. Their coach, Bill Belichick was reprimanded and fined and talked harshly to by an NFL Official or two. There is no recorded evidence that Coach Belichick paid any attention during the harsh words.

He was then sent back to his team and, based on his recent “Tim Tebow Is a Patriot” press conference; the football world is fairly certain he did not immediately launch into a standup comedy routine when he got back to the practice field.

Those of you who have been reading my Foolishness...Or Is Its over the years know that I am not a fan of the News Media. My unfondness for the News Media includes the Sports News Media.

I have come to feel this way because of the inane questions they ask. Have you ever been confronted by a young child who is going berserk trying to interrupt adults (who are trying to ignore the little interrupter) and when everyone stops, and looks at the little fellow to see what he has to say, they and he find out that he had nothing to say. He just wanted to get into the middle of what’s going on.

Sports News Reporters are much the same way. Here are a few examples to prove this point...

• Question to the coach who is beating his head against the wall: “Are you feeling disappointed because you just lost The Big Game on a 103 yard pass on fourth and 65 yards to go with no time left on the clock?”
• Question to the coach whose team had just won the Super Bowl using a second string quarterback who replaced the first string quarterback with more that half the regular season to go: “Coach, when the season started did you foresee that your first string quarterback was going to get hurt with more than half the regular season to go, be replaced by your second string quarterback and you would win the Super Bowl?” (I did not make this one up.)
• Are your players feeling badly because they just lost The Big Game to their Arch Rivals?

My Boy Bill just did his best to frustrate a clutch of bug-eyed reporters clamoring for controversy about the signing of Tim Tebow during a press conference that would be in my Hall of Fame if I there were such a thing as the Smartfella’s Drive The Sports Media Nuts Hall of Fame. The questions are not important but some of his answers are beautiful. Other answers were longer (not much) but still did not give the panting reporters any info...

• Tim is a talented player that is smart and works hard. We’ll see how it goes.
• None, we try to do what’s best for the team.
• We’re going to try to get better as a football team, individually and collectively, and that’s what we’re going to do.
• We’ll try to do what we think is best for our football team.
• I don’t know, we’ll see.
• We’ll see, I don’t know.
• He’s a talented guy, he’s smart, he’s works hard.
• He can do a lot of things – we’ve seen that.
• No.
• Yeah, I like Tim. I have a lot of respect for Tim.
• I’ve already said that.
• I’ve answered the question twice. He’s a talented player who is smart and works hard.
• Everybody has a job to do and I’m sure he’ll try to do it the best that he can.
• We’ll all try to do our jobs the best that we can.
• I think we’ve already talked enough about him. We’ll see how he does and just go from there.
• I think I’ve covered it.
• I haven’t talked to Vinny in a couple years.
• I don’t know.
• Four weeks, it’s four weeks. A week of training camp is a week of training camp. A regular season game is a regular season game. It all adds up every day. You do the math, I don’t know.
• He’ll do what he can do.
• They are.
• I don’t have anything to add.
• Whatever conversations I have with anybody would be between myself and that person anyways. I don’t think that’s anything that would be shared publicly.
• We’ll see how it goes.
• I don’t know.
• There are a lot of people in the organization that contributed in all decisions, like there usually are. I couldn’t put a percentage on it, if that’s what you’re looking for.
• I don’t know, you’d have to talk to them about that.
• You’d have to talk to them. I don’t want to represent what somebody else said or thought.

What a Guy! My Hero!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Flickr Tags: Bill Belichick,Tim Tebow,New England Patriots,NFL

Bring Back The Good Ole Punch In The Mouth

My newspaper just told me about someone who said something insulting to someone else and the Someone Else person is suing the Someone Said It Person.

Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech? Whatever happened to the Freedom to Insult Your Fellow Man? Now anytime anyone says anything that could be construed as an insult, the insulted person’s brother-in-law files a law suit on behalf of the insulted person. (Don’t tell me that we need to outlaw Brothers-In-Law when you know full well that they are a necessary evil.)

In the old days here is what would have happened when someone insulted someone...

• The Insulted Someone would have punched the Insulting Someone in the mouth.
• If the Insulting Someone would have gotten up, a crowd would have gathered to watch the fist fight.
• If the Insulting Someone did not get up, the crowd that did not gather would have continued shooting pool.
• If things really started getting out of hand, John Wayne would have ridden in and restored order.
• If ole John had a hankering he would have punched one or the other of the antagonists in the mouth.
• There would have been no law suits because the We Got Too Many Lawyers America had not been invented yet and, of course, no one dared to sue John Wayne.

In Modern Day Litigious America some or all of the following lawsuits would be filed...

• By the Insulted Person against the Insulting Person.
• By the Insulted Person against any bystander who chuckled when he overheard the insult.
• By the other brother-in-law of the Insulted Person who is suing because he was not given this case to handle. He was overheard to say, “My Insulted Brother-In-Law retained his other Brother-In-Law the last 3 times he tried to take advantage of our Judicial System. Don’t I get a turn? What am I, a potted plant? I can just as unscrupulous as the next guy.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: It is my sad duty to report that in recent days I have asked a young waiter and, on another occasion, a young waitress if they ever heard of John Wayne. Both of them answered, “No”. I’m not going to ask this question anymore because that’s just too depressing.

LiveJournal Tags: Law Suits,John Wayne,Litigious,Freedom of Speech

I Am More Interesting Than You Are

I entertain myself because I notice things. You probably don’t notice the things that I notice. Some say I am sick and I am wasting my time. They do not understand how interesting it is to be interested in things.

Did I just hear you say, “OK, smart guy. Just what have you noticed lately that makes you so interesting”? OK, not as smart guy, I did hear you say that and here is what I noticed...

I started taking notice how the Entertainment Industry is saving us from having really high unemployment in the Good Ole USofA. After I have enlighten you, you will start looking for what I am about to tell you and only then will you give me credit for being the interesting person that I am...Or will u?

In looking at the credits after a particular very popular TV Show I took note of the fact that the wonderful people who work so hard to keep us constantly entertained appear to be employing extra unnecessary people to produce their shows.

They must be doing this for the purpose of holding down the Country’s Unemployment Rate because it is not possible that they need this many people to produce their shows, especially since it is beyond most of us exactly what it is a Producer does.

Here is a single example of the Producers that are employed to make this particular TV Show, which I took note of because I am a Noticer. The credits for the show listed the following...

• 5 Executive Producers
• 1 Co-Executive Producer
• 1 Producer
• 1 Co-Producer
• 3 Consulting Producers

It is really possible that they really need this many Producer Kind Of People?

Without getting my calculator out, I can make a wide guess that, when you consider all the TV Programs & Movies we are subjected to, our national unemployment rate would be considerably higher if our Entertainment Industry were not so patriotic and was not producing so many producer people.

Don’t forget to check out my keen observation revelation at the end of future TV Shows (be sure to wake up in time for the Credits.) You will be amazed and very thankful to our Patriotic Entertainment Industry.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Technorati Tags: producers

Courtrooms Are For Final Determinations...Or Are They?

How many times have we heard, “We Will Have to Settle This in Court!”

Courtrooms are where we go to resolve the great issues of life, or so they tell us in the movies.

In actuality, it does not always work that way. A case in point is what Wells Fargo is going through as reported in my newspaper...

May 2013...A judge again ordered Wells Fargo to pay $203million to settle California Law Suit which had accused it of overcharging on overdrafts in checking accounts which reversed an award that had been thrown out August of 2010.

Two years and nine months later the thrown out decision is again the decision and they are back to square one.

The two sides are again saying to each other, “We Will Have to Settle This in Court!”

They ought to know better.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

BuzzNet Tags: Wells Fargo,Courtrooms,Judicial System

They Think We Are Stupid – Part Next

I bought a small nifty safe. The instructions in the Owner’s Manual either thinks I am stupid OR the attorneys are covering the butt of the manufacturer from being sued by the likes of stupid me. I think it is both.

========================

First We-Think-You-Are-Stupid Indicator...

The Instructions get to the second bullet before it shows that they are convinced I am stupid when they tell me...

Do not lock the key in the safe.

Is it possible that a Modern Educated American could be stupid enough to lock the key that opens the safe inside the safe?

What is really sad is they probably feel obligated to tell me this because of past experience where Modern Educated Americans have locked the keys to open their safes inside their locked safes.

=========================

Second We-Think-You-Are-Stupid Indicator...

Under the section called Locking Your Safe I am instructed to...

Close the lid. Once the safe is closed, the safe is securely locked.

They seem to think I think that a safe with the door left open is safely closed.

=========================

On The Other Hand, My Safe Manufacturer Seems To Think I Am Really Smart & Greedy...

On the side of the box containing my nifty safe is a picture of the safe with the door open that shows what could possibly be the contents of a nifty safe like this:

• A jeweled set of earrings and a matching bracelet which both look like they are covered with diamonds.
• A pistol.
• A packet of $1 bills with the band on the packet labeled “$100”.
• A single silver dollar on top of the $100 labeled packet.

On the side of the box is a Disclaimer that states...

“Contents shown are not included”

This was no surprise to me since the nifty safe itself only costs $50.

=========================

As faithful readers of my silly musings, I know you all have wondered from time to time how smart the Smartfella really is. I will now tell you how highly intelligent I am. If I could really obtain all the contents pictured on the side of the box, I would have bought two nifty safes.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

When You Consider The Awful Status Of Almost Everything, This Posting Is Not That Important

Some say the world is going to Hell in a Hand Basket.

The Smartfella is thinking that the world just may already be in Hell sitting in that Hand Basket looking back at where it used to be.

=====================

Now for the not too important…

According to Yahoo Sports
HEADLINE: Tiger wins Players Championship with strong finish.
Text from the article: Woods closed out The Players Championship on Sunday like he has so many other tournaments: hitting big shot after big shot down the stretch.

According to the Wall Street Journal
HEADLINE: Woods Wobbles to Win
Text from the article: When Tiger Woods stood on the 14th tee Sunday, he held a three-shot lead and his march to victory seemed inexorable. But a weak hooked tee shot into the water on the hole made him scramble for his 78th career win.

What you wanna bet that the guy pecking out the Yahoo Sports article was not doing so with a baseball cap on (backwards) that read, “Tiger Is One Great Cat”.

This kind of blind reporting just might see this same guy starting a campaign to have Tiger “awarded” 5 more victories so he can pass Sam Snead.

Can’t you just see him pecking out something like, “Tiger deserves these 5 more wins. If he had not been such a complete jerk and so completely screwed up his personal, family and golfing life, he would have certainly won 5 more times.”

To the Smartfella’s way of thinking, no one should ever be allowed to pass Sam Snead because Slammin’ Sammy uttered the greatest line in the history of golf when he said, “I have always wanted to shoot a round of golf equal to my age. There is a lot of pressure on me to do that this year because I am 61 years old. Next year it will be too easy”. 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

More: As he grew older he shot his age many times. For example, in 1983, at age 71, he shot 60 at his home course, The Homestead. It really was too easy.

43 Things Tags: Sam Snead,Tiger Woods

Wanna Read Something Really Sad?

As seen in the newspaper recently...

What people in the past may have gotten from church, I get from the Internet and FaceBook. That is our religion.

All Is Lost!

I Wish I were Kidding u.

Smartfella

IceRocket Tags: FaceBook,Twitter

The Cheshire Cat Lives

The Smartfella thinks the Cheshire Cat has taken control of  the Same Sex Marriage issue.

According to the Wall Street Journal one of the main reasons why the Gay Population needs to have the rights and privileges of Same Sex Marriage is that they need to have the rights and privileges of Same Sex Divorce.

Would the WSJ kid us?

Smartfella

del.icio.us Tags: Cheshire Cat,Same sex marriage

Blue Ribbon Committee Needed

In 1982 Congress mandated that Nuclear Waste be stored deep underground in a Centralized Storage Facility. Congress thought this was a wise thing to do, so they did it. Congress always does wise things.

In 1987 Yucca Mountain in Nevada was chosen as the Centralized Storage Facility for all this yucky stuff.

In 1993, the Department of Energy (DOE) began grading work on first phase of the Centralized Storage Facility and also set waste acceptance to begin in 2010.

While Yucca Mountain was being built (employing a whole bunch of Nevadans) utilities all over the Fruited Plain, while waiting for the storage site to be selected and construction to be completed, have been storing all this nuclear waste inside cooling pools at nuclear reactor sites and paying the government to permanently dispose of the waste because a Nuclear Waste Fund was set up in 1982 to pay for the Centralized Storage Facility. The Centralized Storage Facility is being funded by fees collected on the generation of electricity from nuclear power plants all over the U.S.

But billions of dollars and decades later, the U.S. is back to square one.

Nevada wasn't happy hosting the nation's nuclear waste dump. After all those Nevadans had received all those construction paychecks all those years, now they are not happy. The current administration formally pulled the plug on Yucca Mountain and its Centralized Storage Facility in 2010.

Wow! Is it not interesting that, after all those Nevadans received all those pay checks, 2010 is the year the plug is pulled? How good is your short term memory? If you go back up earlier in this posting you will find these words in bold, “waste acceptance to begin in 2010”.

Below is a view inside Yucca Mountain. The view is looking down the main tunnel shaft (“main” means there are more than this one shaft) which descends over 5 miles into Yucca Mountain. Does this prior sentence give you some sense as to how big this project was? All that money spent over all those years of construction and we tax payers now own a gigantic hole in the ground that will never to be used.

The hole has swallowed just under 100 Billion Dollars. In case you forgot what the Smartfella has tried to teach you in the past, that’s just under 100 Thousand Million Dollars.
                         
Since we have dumped just under 100 Thousand Million Dollars into that hole in the ground, we ought to use the hole for something. The Smartfella recommends we use it to store the contents of our Federal Graft and Corruption Monies Yet To Be Handed Out Fund (the hole might not be big enough).

You are thinking I made up the existence of such a fund but you are not sure I made it up, are you?

As all of my dear readers always expect of me, I don’t just cry wolf. I actually propose remedies for the Governmental Foolishness I point out to you.

The reason why this project was canceled after spending just under 100 Thousand Million Dollars is that Nevada has a very powerful Senator representing it in Congress.

The crux of the problem is this Senator is too powerful. Congress ought to appoint a Blue Ribbon Committee to determine who the least powerful Senator in the Senate at this time. Once that determination is made they can slam our Nuclear Waste Plans down these weakly represented constituent’s collective throats.

However, my plan will never work. Do you see the reason why?...
Twenty five years from now (after we have spent a heck of a lot more than 100 thousand million dollars) that least powerful Senator will be a very powerful Senator and, after his constituents have sucked in twenty five years of pay checks, the project will be canceled by President Chelsea Clinton.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Two Significant Contributors To Our Economy & Their Equally Dramatic Effect On Employment

One of these Significant Contributors to our economy has been performing its employment magic for many years. The other is on the cusp of becoming a major contributor to Employment in the Good Ole USofA ...

The American Civil Liberties Union

These ACLU guys are everywhere. Without them unemployment would be through the roof.

Bomb Sniffing Dogs

As a result of The Marathon Bombing last Monday, if you can qualify to be a Bomb Sniffing Dog, you will be able to support your family for a long time into the foreseeable future.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

BuzzNet Tags: ACLU,Bomb Sniffing Dogs,Marathon Bombers,Unemployment

That Is Not Possible!

How many times have you heard a Mathematical Midget (usually sports “heroes”) say he gave over 100% effort toward whatever Herculean Endeavor he is trying to impress us about?

I know and you know (at least I hope you know) that more than 100% effort is not possible. To go even further I heard a celebrity say the other day that he gave 1 Million Percent Support to something or other.

I got all excited and started pecking out a blog. Knowing that so many people admire this sports celebrity I began to get an uneasy feeling that he may know more than I do about numbers and percentages and such things.

Before I blurted out my first erroneous blog I wanted to make sure I would not make a fool of myself. I contacted a member of congress who is deeply involved in all things financial up there in our 13% Approval Rated Congress.

You, my dear reader, may think the Smartfella knows it all. I understand why you may feel that way but I many times consult with experts before I send out a Blog Posting. This is my way of tricking you into believing that I am really smart.

Golly gee did this honorable member of congress put me in my place! The Congressman seemed rather annoyed and disappointed with me when he explained, “Smartfella, do you not understand that 120 Percent is a lot more than 1 Million Percent? Any fifth grader knows that 120 is more than 1.”

Did I feel silly!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella?

Excessive Smart

The other day I went up to the library of a nearby university to get away from it all. I do this when I want to have peace and quiet in order allow my blogging juices to flow.

This time my juices were interrupted by a student across the table from me. Out of the blue he started talking to himself. Here is what he said...

This studying is really hard! Is it really necessary? Why do I have to work so hard to make myself smart? After all, I have a Smartphone. Does not ownership and proficiency with a Smartphone negate the necessity of my head having to be Smart also?

OK I admit it. I made this blog up from scratch. There was no such student thinking this kind of Silliness out loud to himself ... Or did I? ... Or was there not?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

43 Things Tags: Smartphone

Those Dastardly Fellows Have Finally Been Exposed

Congress is presently on a sustained tirade against Tax Loopholes. They are frantically making speeches describing their ongoing and valiant attempts to close every one of those insidious revenue-sucking evil thingies from every corner and crevice of our bloated tax code.

The Smartfella knows something that our 11% Approval Rated Congress is not talking about. He knows where the Tax Loopholes came from but he seems to be the only one who is willing to talk about where they came from.

Tax Loopholes were put in place by the same people who now look surprised that they exist at all ... Our Duly Elected United States Congresses Going Back for Decades.

They are pointing at the unbelievable large number of Tax Loopholes in our unbelievably large Tax Code and proclaiming them to be the product of some unknown force.

The really strange thing in all of this is they are acting surprised that anyone is daring to use the Tax Loopholes that they created.

Before you, my dear reader, start poking holes in the air with your finger, stop and think about who it was that Duly Elected your Duly Elected Congressmen. We have seen the enemy and he is us. The “us” here is you and I.

We have returned our representatives to Congress over and over for so long that many of them can no longer remember which area of the Fruited Plain they came from.

It is very important that your Duly Elected Representatives do remember from whence they came because, if they don’t remember, they can’t set up Tax Loopholes for your benefit.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

IceRocket Tags: Tax Loopholes

Twitter May Save Us All

I have never understood Twitter, Tweeting and being proud to say to the whole wide world, “I am a Twit”.

I recently opened a Twitter Account because I was told I could get exposure for my Blog and my Book if I did.

Now I am back to square one again... I don’t understand Twitter, Tweeting and I hope no one in the whole wide world finds out I am a Twit because I have yet to figure out how all of this is of benefit to my Blog and my Book.

=========================

However, as the Subject of this posting implies, there actually may be a great benefit coming from Twitter as more and more people are Tweeting their innermost thoughts and feelings…

• There was that super star basketball player last year who announced his retirement to his over 1,000,000 followers by Tweeting, “I want you to be the first to know”.
• The Twitter World convicted the Referees in Louisville/Wichita State game a few days ago. The following morning’s newspaper implied that, since so many Tweets came in condemning that jump ball near the end of the game as being a bad call, then that was proof positive that the Referees were absolutely wrong. Does my newspaper know that every one of those Tweeting Condemners could have been die-hard Wichita State fans?
• Police departments are Tweeting public information warnings via Tweets.
• Lovers are proposing marriage via Tweets.

Where is the silver lining to all of this that I promised in the subject of this posting? You are going to kick yourself for not seeing it before me...

• Tweets from Twits are limited to 140 Characters.
• Tweets can be sent from anywhere in the world.

Can you imagine the benefits that can come to the Good Ole USofA if Congress conducted all of its business via Twitter?...

• We would be spared their standing in those hallowed chambers poking holes in the air with their fingers all day because they would be limited to 140 characters.
• Actually they would not even have to go to Washington D.C.
• This means they would not “have” to fly home and return every week at our expense so they can put in their less than three work day weeks.
• Lizard-Loafered Lobbyist would have a harder time getting to them in order to get to them because they would be spread all over the Fruited Plain.

How many times have we heard a Senator puff up his chest as he calls the Senate the “Greatest Debating Body in the World”? That is such a lie. How can “Debate” and “Senate” even be used in the same sentence?

Have you not watched CSPAN? There is hardly ever anyone in that hallowed chamber while a Senator is talking.

Not wanting to be accused of exaggerating I will concede that there are always present the Presiding Officer of the Senate and those three people stationed around the podium. I must also point out that the four of them are all Tweeting the whole time the speakers are poking holes in the air with their index fingers.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

del.icio.us Tags: Twitter,Tweets,Senate,Debate,Lobbyist

First Time Ever! A Petition Received From Beyond The Grave

General George Washington has petitioned the Congress to change the name of Washington D.C. to, “Anything else ye damn well please”.

He went on to say...

“I spent my life in service to this once great country and I no longer consider it an honor to have our capital named after me.

Besides, my cohorts up here in heaven have begun to laugh at me every time the word “Washington” is mentioned on the news. Since ye now have the 24 Hour News Cycle, the guffaws are never ending.

Sadly sleep is not needed up here. If we did sleep, I could get away from the ridicule for a wee bit. This being the case, the laughing and finger pointing never stops.

Benjamin Franklin is the worst!”

Authorities are baffled at how Ole George went about communicating with Congress. A Senate Committee will begin holding hearings next week to get to the root of this strange phenomenon. Committee Hearings are a sure way to get to the bottom of any issue of importance...Or are they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Flickr Tags: George Washington,24 Hour News Cycle

Plastic Flowers & Tweeting

Darn near every Sunday when I was a Smallfella I had the honor of accompanying my Mother to the Quality Flower Shoppe to buy flowers and then to the Cemetery to put those freshly bought fresh flowers on the growing number of graves that contained the growing number of our deceased relatives.

You can rest assured that I did not consider it an honor at the time.

There is no telling what my Mother could have been doing with her time, if she did not have to perform this time-honored family ritual.

If plastic flowers had already been invented, she and I could have made a single trip per deceased relative to the Quality Plastic Flower Shoppe, bought a bunch of permanent plastic beauties, gone and deposited them at the newest deceased relative’s grave and then gotten on with our lives.

I don’t mean we would have forgotten about the prior deceased relatives. I’m sure we would have glanced at the prior dearly beloved’s graves and their dusty but still beautiful (from a distance) flowers as we made our way to and from the newest deceased relative’s tomb.

Ah yes, it makes my aging heart jump with joy to picture my Mother on the family couch tweeting all Sunday afternoon. Now there is a worthwhile way to spend a Sunday if I ever heard of one.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

LiveJournal Tags: Tweeting,Plastic Flowers,Tomb

This Is Not Written In Defense Of Whatever It Is That Mark Cuban Did Or Did Not Do

From the get-go I will address those of you who just said to yourself, “What kind of sandwich is a Mark Cuban?”

He is not a sandwich nor is he Fidel’s Other Brother. Mark Cuban is the owner of the Dallas Mavericks NBA Basketball Team and, more importantly, he the reason for this Blog Posting.

The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) filed charges for something that Mark Cuban did or did not do. They charged him in 2008 for something they said he did or did not do in 2004.

Did you take note of those dates above? It is now 2013. 2008 is a long time in the past. Our crack SEC took 4 years to even notice that Mark Cuban did or did not do something. Now it has been 5 years and counting that the SEC has been going about whatever it is they go about doing after they bring charges against a doer or not doer until they get around to actually going to trial.

Has anyone in the SEC ever heard of, “Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied?”

If the Wheels of Justice would only grind faster we would not be hearing opening statements like this, which have become all too common:

“Your honor, please do not permit your judgment to be unduly influenced by the fact that the Justice Department cannot exactly remember what the defendant is charged with doing or not doing.

To be perfectly honest with you, the Eisenhower Administration was not yesterday. Therein lies part of the problem with our case against the defendant. President Eisenhower was very good about keeping track of such things for us but he went and died. If he had not chosen this rather uncaring and unpatriotic course of action, he could have reminded us of the original charges and our prep for this case could have gone a lot smoother.

I ask you to consider our past record of usually remembering why we bring charges against our fellow Americans. You can rest assured that normally we are very thorough in our investigations and we do not charge anyone with anything where the charges are not based on sound evidence or, at the very least, well-founded rumor.”

The Smartfella’s thinking is the SEC ought to say to Mr. Cuban:

“We sincerely apologize for holding this issue over your head for 5 years. We realize that it is a rather foreboding situation when you have the full force of your Federal Government hovering over your head for an extended period of time threatening to put you in jail or fine you a bunch of money. We will try and do better next time you do or don’t do something of which we do not approve. Have a nice day. Go Mavericks!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Technorati Tags: Mark Cuban,Secuities and Exchange Comission,SEC

NOTE: Don’t blame me… BlogSpot (Google) is responsible for those ads at the bottom of my Foolishness.

Papal Frenzy

The Archbishop in Milan was said to be a favorite to become Pope but he was passed over twice. Below is a news tidbit from April 2005...

Cardinal Angelo Scola, the patriarch of Venice, is a scholarly pastor intent on raising the church's cultural and social profile.

His pastoral energy and theological intensity have made him the latest and perhaps most formidable Italian candidate for the papacy.

Even though he was a favorite for the last two elections he did not get the job. As we all know Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Buenos Aires bumped Cardinal Scola aside. Why do you think this happened? Was it because Cardinal Bergoglio was more Pious, more Humble, more Holy, was a Jesuit, was more educated or was better looking?

Smartfella is here to tell you that it was none of the above. The real reason was the Cardinals could not stand the thought of having a “Pope Scola”. If you did not catch on to this one, say it out loud...

Pope Scola       

==========================

Is it the sweaty hands, the breathing hard and the frenzied look on their faces that makes people with microphones sound stupid? You are going to think I made this one up...

Within 30 minutes of the announcement of the new Pope I heard one of them blurt out, “There were strong forces pushing to name the new Pope from inside the Church’s Inner Circle. There was equally strong movement for someone outside this Inner Circle. In choosing Cardinal Bergoglio they got neither.”

Is it really possible to not be from the inside of the Inner Circle and not be from the outside of the Inner Circle both at the same time?

==========================

Don’t say Jewish Rabbis don’t have a sense of humor. I saw one on TV the other day tell how he had a close friend who was an American Cardinal and how they had talked about that Cardinal becoming Pope one day. They were so looking forward to this new American Pope choosing the name...

John Paul George Ringo

Would a Jewish Rabbi and his American Cardinal Friend kid u?

Smartfella

BuzzNet Tags: Pope Resigns,Pope Francis,Papal,Bergoglio

Negotiating With The Taliban

I find it hard to understand why there is so much talk about Negotiating with the Taliban. How exactly would such a dialog proceed?

The crying need for clarifications of this type is the reason the Smartfella invented himself. Here is what the opening statement at a Taliban “Negotiation” from those sitting opposite the Taliban would sound like...

I understand and accept the fact that your strongly held beliefs are that you want to kill all those who oppose your strongly held beliefs.

Can we not come to some common ground here?

How about setting your sites a little lower?

Would you consider only killing 60% of those who do not agree with everything you advocate?

In the interest of compromise, could you not see your way to acquiescing to this rather small percentage and later we can talk about a number closer to your true Objective of 100%?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

43 Things Tags: Taliban,Negotiation