I bought a small nifty safe. The instructions in the Owner’s Manual either thinks I am stupid OR the attorneys are covering the butt of the manufacturer from being sued by the likes of stupid me. I think it is both.
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First We-Think-You-Are-Stupid Indicator...
The Instructions get to the second bullet before it shows that they are convinced I am stupid when they tell me...
Do not lock the key in the safe.
Is it possible that a Modern Educated American could be stupid enough to lock the key that opens the safe inside the safe?
What is really sad is they probably feel obligated to tell me this because of past experience where Modern Educated Americans have locked the keys to open their safes inside their locked safes.
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Second We-Think-You-Are-Stupid Indicator...
Under the section called Locking Your Safe I am instructed to...
Close the lid. Once the safe is closed, the safe is securely locked.
They seem to think I think that a safe with the door left open is safely closed.
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On The Other Hand, My Safe Manufacturer Seems To Think I Am Really Smart & Greedy...
On the side of the box containing my nifty safe is a picture of the safe with the door open that shows what could possibly be the contents of a nifty safe like this:
- A jeweled set of earrings and a matching bracelet which both look like they are covered with diamonds.
- A pistol.
- A packet of $1 bills with the band on the packet labeled “$100”.
- A single silver dollar on top of the $100 labeled packet.
On the side of the box is a Disclaimer that states...
“Contents shown are not included”
This was no surprise to me since the nifty safe itself only costs $50.
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As faithful readers of my silly musings, I know you all have wondered from time to time how smart the Smartfella really is. I will now tell you how highly intelligent I am. If I could really obtain all the contents pictured on the side of the box, I would have bought two nifty safes.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
3 comments:
I, like you, have read assine directions but always figured that the company's lawyer added those disclaimers after the McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit.
Yep, just like this warning. "Caution, this peanut candy bar may contain peanuts". We are so stupid!
You forget the stupid Americans that lock their keys and usually a kid or 2 in the car. The GM engineers decided to think for these poor dumb people and make it impossible to lock the keys in the ignition. However, the stupid people have foiled that bit of engineering greatness by leaving the keys on the front seat along with the kids in the hot car. In Memphis we not only have keys left in the ignition, we have about 3+ kids killed by overheating in a hot car in the summer every year.
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