If You Want To Get Well, Take This Pill Or If You Want To Die, Take This Pill

If, no matter how remote the possibility, you are warned about everything bad that could possibly happen if you take any particular medication. I contend you are warned about nothing because the medication taker will say, “Well, that’s silly” and will ignore all warnings about everything bad that could happen.

To be more specific, you will do as I do and not even look at the Warnings, Cautions and Watch Outs and shred them as soon as you get home.

************

Today we are going to be discussing Ciprofloxacin. Ciprofloxacin is prescribed very often. In 2010, over 20 million prescriptions were written.

Ever wonder why Big Pharma is Big? If they make $1 off of each Prescription, they have made $20 Million. WhatDoYaWannaBet they make more than $1 off of each Prescription. J

Big Pharmaceutical Companies appear to be more profitable than large companies in most other industries.

Researchers writing in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) investigated the financial balances of Pharmaceutical Companies dealing in the business of developing, manufacturing, marketing and selling drugs.

Their calculations found that in the years between 2000 and 2018, 35 big drug companies received combined revenue of $11.5 trillion, with a gross profit of $8.6 trillion.

************

àI Did Not Make This Upß

Disclaimer: This is an actual quote but I added the information in the Yellow Parentheses.

Here Are the Warnings and Cautions for the Drug Named Ciprofloxacin

Along with its needed effects, Ciprofloxacin may cause some unwanted effects. Although not all of these side effects may occur, if they do occur, they may need medical attention.

(Do you think the words “Although not all of these side effects may occur” are an attempt at humor by Big Pharma?)

More Common Side Effect…

Ø Diarrhea

Rare Side Effects…

Ø Bloody or black, tarry stools

Ø Burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, "pins and needles", or tingling feelings

Ø Changes in skin color

Ø Changes in urination

Ø Chest pain or discomfort

Ø Chest tightness or heaviness

Ø Chills or fever

Ø Clumsiness or unsteadiness

Ø Confusion (No kidding! Anyone who reads all of this is certain to become confused. I bet the manufacturer of this drug also makes a lot of money off of their other drugs which treat Confusion.)

Ø Continuing ringing or buzzing or other unexplained noise in the ears

Ø Coughing or spitting up blood

Ø Dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up suddenly from a lying or sitting position

Ø Fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse

Ø Headache, severe and throbbing

Ø Hearing loss

Ø Hives or welts or skin rash

Ø Joint stiffness

Ø Large, hive-like swelling on the face, eyelids, lips, tongue, throat, hands, legs, feet, or sex organs

Ø Light-colored stools

Ø Muscle pain or stiffness

Ø Nausea and vomiting

Ø Nightmares

Ø Numbness of the hands

Ø Pain in the joints

Ø Pain or discomfort in the arms, jaw, back, or neck

Ø Painful, red lumps under the skin, mostly on the legs

Ø Pounding in the ears

Ø Puffiness or swelling of the eyelids or around the eyes, face, lips, or tongue

Ø Redness of the face, neck, arms, and occasionally, upper chest

Ø Seizures

Ø Severe abdominal or stomach pain, cramping, or burning

Ø Shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet

Ø Swelling of the face, feet, or lower legs

Ø Swollen, painful, or tender lymph glands in the neck, armpit, or groin

Ø Thick, white vaginal discharge with no odor or with a mild odor

Ø Unsteadiness, trembling, or other problems with muscle control or coordination

Ø Unusual drowsiness, dullness, tiredness, weakness, or feeling of sluggishness

Ø White patches in the mouth and/or on the tongue

Ø Yellow eyes or skin

Incidences Not Known Side Effects…

Ø Acid or sour stomach

Ø Blistering, peeling, or loosening of the skin

Ø Bluish-colored lips, fingernails, or palms

Ø Bone pain

Ø Diarrhea, watery and severe, which may also be bloody

Ø Difficulty with breathing, chewing, or talking

Ø Double vision

Ø Excessive muscle tone

Ø Feeling of discomfort

Ø Feeling, seeing, or hearing things that are not there

Ø Increased sensitivity to pain

Ø Increased sensitivity to touch

Ø Irregular or slow heart rate

Ø Mood changes

Ø Nosebleeds

Ø Rapid heart rate

Ø Red skin lesions, often with a purple center

Ø Seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there

Ø Sores, ulcers, or white spots on the lips or in the mouth

Ø Unusual bleeding or bruising

Ø Unusual excitement, nervousness, or restlessness

Ø Vaginal yeast infection

Some side effects of Ciprofloxacin may occur that usually do not need medical attention. These side effects may go away during treatment as your body adjusts to the medicine. Also, your health care professional (What happened to the word “Doctor”?) may be able to tell you about ways to prevent or reduce some of these side effects. Check with your health care professional (Formerly known as “Doctor”.) if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome or if you have any questions about them...

Ø Runny nose

Ø Sneezing

Ø Stuffy nose

At this point Big Pharma is also confused and can't make up its mind...Runny Nose and Stuffy Nose? I wonder if you can get these simultaneously?

************

Did you notice that the Possible Side Effects are listed in Alphabetical Order? I thought about calling Mr. Ciprofloxacin Maker and asking him, if I did get all of the Side Effects, would I get them in Alphabetical Order?

I did not make the call because I was afraid he would have thought I was being Silly or Foolish or a Wise Guy or a Smartfella or even a Smart Alex.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Another “I’m Gonna Be Rich” Blog Posting

I made contact with “Wearing Face Masks R Us” and made a proposal that they pay me $0.25 for every time I see a Fellow American Face Mask Wearer walking around with a Face Mask that only covers his Chin.

At first they turned me down but then I was pleased to hear them say, “You know, we can do that for you. We just noticed that we have received $10 Million from COVID-19 Stimulus Package #17 and we have no idea why we got it, so we might as well pass a couple of million dollars onto you. You seem like a Nicefella”.

Being a Smartfella is important but being a Nicefella is where the Big Bucks are!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Here Is Fella’s Fix For All That Ails Us As We Trek Through The Age Of Corona

All we need to be happy is a Shmoo. We only need one Shmoo because, if you have one Shmoo, you will shortly have a lot more Shmoos.

To get things started what we need is to have Congress bring Cartoonist Al Capp back from the dead and tell him to bring Shmoos with him. Having Shmoos all around us would make us forget about everything Corona. It would be wonderful!

Did I just hear you say that Congress can’t bring people back from the dead? I think they ought to give it a try. Congress is always passing laws that are Unenforceable and Silly. I see no reason why they can’t pass laws that are Impossible.

************

Did I get ahead of myself? You don’t know what a Shmoo is? Wikipedia knows all about them...

A Shmoo is shaped like a plump bowling pin with stubby legs. It has smooth skin, eyebrows, and sparse whiskers—but no arms, nose, or ears. Its feet are short and round, but dexterous, as the Shmoo's Comic Book adventures make clear. It has a rich gamut of facial expressions and often expresses love by exuding hearts over its head. Cartoonist Al Capp ascribed to the Shmoo the following curious characteristics:

Ø They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying faster than rabbits. They require no sustenance other than air.

Ø Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself—either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.

Ø They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter—no churning required. Their pelts make perfect boot leather or house timbers, depending on how thick one slices them.

Ø They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.

Ø Naturally gentle, they require minimal care and are ideal playmates for young children. The frolicking of Shmoos is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.

Ø Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch, however. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, use a paper bag, flashlight, and stick to capture their Shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they may be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.

************

Since this is the bottom, here is the Second to Last Bottom Line...

Shmoos Exist To Make Us Happy

The Last Bottom Line is...

Too Bad They Don’t Exist

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Should You Or Should You Not Hide Your Valuable Stuff?

If you want to put Something Valuable in the Way Back of your 5-Door Car, the manufacturers provide their buyers with a Security Cover. This allows the car owners to pull the Security Cover over their Valuable Stuff to ensure that their Valuable Stuff will not be seen by a passing Snidely Whiplash.

The Security Cover keeps Snidely from looking into your Way Back and seeing your Valuable Stuff and then breaking into your car to take your Valuable Stuff to add your stuff to his collection of Stolen Valuable Stuff he has already stolen.

************

Words to the Wise… Never Use The Security Cover!

• If there is something of value under the Security Cover, Snidely will break your window to get to your valuable stuff. 
• If there is nothing of value under the Security Cover, Snidely will break your window because he will think you would not have pulled the Security Cover unless there was something of value to cover. 
• If there is something of value and you leave it Uncovered, Snidely will break your window to get to your valuable stuff. 
• If you do not have anything of value and you leave your Way Back uncovered, Snidely will not break your window because he can see there is no reason to break your window.

The only time you will not get your window broken is when there is nothing back there and that nothing is uncovered.

If you insist on using your car to carry something, you can save the expense of paying to have your window replaced if you put a sign on your back window that says to Snidely…

“Dear Mr. Whiplash, do not break my window to get my Valuable Stuff. Please wait until I return to my car and mug me for my valuable stuff without breaking my window. I promise I will not be long. I also promise I will cooperate with the mugging. Then you can be on your way to do your other dastardly deeds”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Unless you have been living under a rock with ear plugs inserted, you are aware that some of our former great cities are presently in utter chaos. As would be expected in such circumstances, muggings have sky rocked. It is so bad that Muggers are offering their Muggees half of what they were just mugged for, if the Muggee will walk the Mugger safely back home.

The Evolution of the Illegal Alien

What Do You Mean I Can’ Say Illegal?

Ø Illegal Alien evolved into Illegal Immigrant

Ø Which evolved into Undocumented Worker

Ø Which evolved into Undocumented Immigrant

Ø Which evolved into Undocumented Visitor

Ø Which evolved into Undocumented Voter

Ø Which evolved into Visiting Illegal Citizen

Ø Which evolved into Illegal Undocumented Visiting Citizen 

Ø Which appears to be evolving into Citizen

Is Somebody Kidding Us?

Smartfella

 

If You Are Insane, I Have A Deal For You!

I’ll start off this venture into Foolishness by asking you two questions...

First Question: When was the last time you heard a commercial trying to Sell You a Timeshare?
Answer from You: Such commercials must be against the law because I can’t remember the last time I heard one of those commercials on Radio or TV.

Second Question: When was the last time you heard a commercial telling you how the Company That paid for the Commercial could Get You Out of a Timeshare?
Answer from You: That’s easy. It was the last time I listened to my Radio or watched my TV. Actually they sounded so confident that they could get rid of my awful Timeshare that it made me wish I owned one so they could get rid of it for me and save me a lot of money and aggravation.

These commercials paint a very dark picture of Timeshare Ownership...

• More headache than paradise
• Expensive to keep up
• Difficult to exchange
• Impossible to sell
• Rising maintenance fees
• Timeshares are not assets
• Never increase in value

************

Based on all the bad publicity, it is a wonder any new Timeshares are being sold in the Good Ole USofA.

I am one to let my mind wander and, while listening to one of these Get You Out Commercials my mind wandered into thinking...

A person has to be really insane to buy a Timeshare. I bet as soon as new Timeshare Buyers walk out of the sales office they are met by men in white coats who throw nets over them, put them in Strait Jackets and take them to the Loony Bin.

************

However, all of the above has made Door To Door Timeshare Sales Prospecting a lot more efficient...

Ø The Salesman knocks on the door of an American Person.

Ø The American Person opens the door.

Ø The Salesman asks the American Person, “Do you own a Timeshare?

Ø If the American Person says, “Yes I do”, the Salesman does not have to waste any more time but he quickly turns around and goes to the next house.

Ø When the Salesman comes across an American Person who answers, “No I don’t own a Timeshare”, the Salesman then asks the American Person, “Are you insane?”

Ø If the American Person says, “No, I’m not insane”, the Salesman again quickly turns around and goes to the next house and the Qualifying Process is again repeated.

Ø When the Salesman comes across an American Person who answers, “Yes, I am insane”, he takes out his Timeshare Purchase Contract and says, “Sign here”.

Certainly some of my Dear Readers are Timeshare Owners and they just became offended and are thinking about not reading my Blog ever again.

I ask those Dear Readers to keep reading my Foolishness. It’s not my fault you are Nuts.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I Don’t Mean To Be Picky But This Is Crazy!

Chadwick Aaron Boseman (November 29, 1976 – August 28, 2020) was an American actor.  Boseman achieved international fame for playing superhero Black Panther in the Marvel Cinematic Universe from 2016 to 2019.

He died the age of 43. Boseman’s cause of death was colon cancer, which he battled in secret over the past four years.

************

He looks like he was a fine person and I am going to accept that as fact because I am not going to start scouring the Internet to find out some dirt that would make me think he was not a fine person. I know finding dirt on people is one of the “benefits” of the Internet but I choose not to go there.

Solomon "Sol" Wachtler was Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals from 1985 to 1992. His most famous quote was that District Attorneys could get Grand Juries to "indict a ham sandwich". I’m not sure how true this is but I bet the Internet could, at the very least, get us to develop an abiding Distrust of a Ham Sandwich.

That having been said, I do think our Idol Worship of Celebrities is out of control. I did see on the internet where the father of a 7-year-old boy has gotten himself all wrapped up in his son’s Idol Worship of Chadwick.

The father said his 7-year-old son was devastated when he learned of Chadwick death. The father said (not exact quote)...

I'm not saying this lightly but Chadwick was his hero. Black Panther was important to my son because he loved seeing a superhero hero that looked like him. He understands Black Panther is fictional but Chadwick made my son believe a Black Boy could grow up and be a strong Black Superhero.

Hold on a minute Daddy. Did you hear what you just said?...

Ø Is it healthy to choose for your heroes people who are not real people?

Ø Did you and your son forget that Black Panther was a Fictional Cartoon Character (is Fictional Cartoon redundant?)?

Ø Wait, Daddy, you did not forget because you just said, “He understands Black Panther is fictional”.

Ø Daddy, you also said, “He made my son believe a Black Boy could grow up and be a Strong Black Superhero”.

Ø Do you really believe that your son believing he can become a Superhero is a good thing?

What happened to Fictional? There is no such a thing as an Actual Live Cartoon Superhero. So, the bottom line is, you think it’s a good thing your son thinks he can grow up to be something that ain’t.

************

Petition launched to replace Confederate statue with memorial for 'Black Panther' Chadwick Boseman

The leader of the petition to remove and replace the statue said, "Mr. Boseman is a hero to this nation but more importantly a hero to the town of Anderson (SC). His legacy was one of excellence and equality. It is only natural that his hometown honors what he did. There is no need for political controversy in this decision."

I’m not sure Mr. Petition Leader will be able to avoid controversy but I am certain he will not be able to prevent people from scratching their heads about his Statue Replacement Proposal. The current statue was dedicated to the Confederate Veterans of Anderson County and was erected in 1902 by the citizens of Anderson County.

Questions need to be asked and answered by the Statue Remove and Replace Movement before we or the statue gets carried away...

Ø Do we need legislation enacted that will specify how long a statue has to be upright before it can be replaced because of a story run on the prior night’s evening news.

Ø The Nightly News comes on every night. If we allow the Nightly News to control the removal of statues, we are going to be removing a lot of statues.

Ø Now that we appear to be embarking on the path of erecting statues to Superheroes do we need give thought to the erection of statues to Unicorns, Mermaids and Pets that belonged to Celebrities?

Ø I understand it has been proposed that we remove all standing statues and begin erecting new statues to new people and things all over the Good Ole USofA (this proposal was made by Statues R Us a Statue Erection Company since 1745 in Quincy, MA). 

************

If I knew what was good for me and you I would stop this Blog Posting here and now but I just remembered that when I was in Flight School in 1964 I lived in Enterprise, AL for a month and they have there the World’s First Monument to a Pest.

If you have come this far, you might as well watch this very short You Tube Video... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGKrfyJ7qC8

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Some People Are Saying COVID-19 Deaths Are Being Inflated But I’m Not...Or am I not?

Medicare will pay hospitals a 20% "add-on" to the regular DRG (Diagnosis-related group) payment for COVID-19 patients. That’s a result of the CARES Act, the largest of the three federal stimulus laws enacted in response to the Coronavirus, which was signed into law March 27.

So Medicare Does Pay Extra for COVID-19 Treatment. I am not saying this is wrong. I am only saying there is an Incentive for Care Providers/Medical Examiners to code non-COVID cases as COVID cases.

There are actually people who are smarter than Fella. I have to leave it up to these smarter people to monitor these payments and to only pay what is proper.

************

I will say this about all of this. It is very complicated. This American Hospital Association Special Bulletin below contains 3,279 Words and has 44 Different Sections.

If you want to read all of it (I hope for your sake you have something better to do), click here... https://www.aha.org/special-bulletin/2020-03-26-senate-passes-coronavirus-aid-relief-and-economic-security-cares-act

It’s a Joke! The above CNN Breaking News is not true...Or is it not?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Some of you who are too young to remember Jimmy Hoffa. He was the former head of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters and he disappeared on July 30, 1975. It is believed that the Mafia made him disappear.

The Convenience Store Clerk Has Been Dreading This Moment Throughout His Convenience Store Clerking Career

It is 3 o’clock in the morning. The Convenience Store Clerk is working alone. He always gets nervous working these night shifts. Then it happens! This is the moment he has always feared. A man walks into the store with a mask on and the clerk panics...

• Oh no!
• What am I going to do?
• Should I duck under the counter, grab my gun and start shooting?
• Did I remember to load the gun after I cleaned it right before I came to work at midnight?
• Should I put my hands up?
• Should I open the cash register and give him everything that is in it?
• Is he going to ask me to open the safe in the back room?
• The owner never gave me the combination!
• Will he believe I don’t know the combination?
• Woe is me, I’m going to die!

That’s the scenario from the past. This is the Coronavirus Scenario. It is 3 o’clock in the morning. The store clerk is working alone. He always gets nervous working these night shifts. Then it happens. The moment he has always feared. A man walks into the store with a mask on and the clerk thinks to himself...

Thank heaven he has a mask on!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

The Framers of Our Constitution Were More Than Just Smart

The Framers of our Constitution were Smart People. Not only were they smart but they were also Time Smart. By Time Smart I mean they could look into the future and see the results of what they had Framed.

They foresaw that membership in our Congress should be Term Limited. They saw that, if members stayed in Congress for decades, that longevity could result in a Congressional Approval ratings of 9%.

The framers believed members would serve short stints before returning to private life to be governed by their own legislative handiwork.

That’s why the House was set up to serve only 2 year terms. This arrangement meant the Representatives would return to the Real World before they learned too much about Lying, Cheating and Stealing.

That’s also why the Senate was set up to serve 6 year terms. The Senator’s 4 extra years would lend stability to the Congress but they would have to return to the Real World before they would be able to do too much damage with their newly acquired Lying, Cheating and Stealing Skills.

Yes, going back to be governed by their own legislative handiwork was very important. If later they ever got elected for a return term in Congress they would remember the problems generated by their own legislative misdeeds. Through experience they would be more cognizant of the effects legislation has on the Folks Back Home because they had actually been a Folk and were soon going to be a Folk again.

************

Time has proven that we have not listened to our Smart Framers. Members of our Congress come to Washington, D.C. and end up staying for Decades. I found a chart (below) entitled, “List of Members of the United States Congress by Longevity of Service”. Here are a few nuggets of interest from that chart...

• 9 members of Congress have served over 50 years.
• 56 members of Congress have served 40 years or more.
• 224 members of Congress have served 30 years or more.
• Of top 50 longest serving only 5 left office because they had been defeated for re-election...
  >The rest either died in office or resigned and then tried to find their way back to the place where the Folks Back Home they were always talking about lived.
  >Some of them ended up in the wrong States (GPS Systems in their cars has greatly reduced the number of Wandering Congressmen we have seen in recent years). 
  >Some of them were so daunted about the task of remembering where they were from they just stayed in D.C. area and faded away.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you wanna see the chart for yourself, click below... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_members_of_the_United_States_Congress_by_longevity_of_service

 

 

A Simple Way to Stop Protests

All protests across the Good Ole USofA could be stopped immediately if we get our 9% Approval Rated Congress to pass a law that Prohibits Protesters from Shouting at Anything or Anybody.

Examples of what they shout at...

Ø Police

Ø City Officials

Ø Their Shoes

Ø Federal Officials

Ø Trees

Ø Firemen

Ø Other Protesters

Ø The Sky

Ø Stores they are about to loot before they break into them to replenish their supply of looted stuff

Without the Shouting they would become a Confused Herd of Silent Shouters Aimlessly Wandering all over the Fruited Plain.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Today We Are Here To Witness A Titanic Struggle Between Bill and Justin!

Do you know who Bill Frist is? You say you don’t. I say don’t feel bad. He probably doesn’t know who you are either.

Wikipedia knows Bill Frist and here are the first 3 paragraphs of what Wikipedia has to say about him... 

“William Harrison Frist (born February 22, 1952) is an American physician, businessman and politician who served as United States Senator from Tennessee from 1995 to 2007. A heart and lung transplant surgeon by occupation, he was Senate Majority Leader from 2003 to 2007. He is a member of the Republican Party.

Born in Nashville, Tennessee, Frist studied health care policy at Princeton University and interned for U.S. Representative Joe L. Evins. Rather than going directly into politics, Frist earned a Doctor of Medicine degree from Harvard Medical School, becoming a surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital and several other hospitals. In 1994, he defeated incumbent Democratic Senator Jim Sasser; he pledged to only serve two terms.

After serving as Chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, Frist succeeded Tom Daschle as the Senate Majority Leader. Frist helped pass several parts of President George W. Bush's domestic agenda, including the Jobs and Growth Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2003 and PEPFAR. He was also a strong proponent of the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act and a prominent advocate of tort reform. Frist left the Senate in 2007, honoring his commitment to serve no more than two terms”

He left the Senate after 2 terms because he said before he started his first term that he would not serve more than 2 terms. Keeping his word like this angered and mystified the other Senators.

Ø Senator Foghorn Leghorn was mystified saying, “Son, I say son, what are you thinking? Keeping your word like this is unheard of in this here Senate! The folks back home are going to expect some of the rest of us to start keeping our word also. I say good riddance to you. It’s Senators like you that could give the Senate a good name!”

Ø Senator Yosemite Sam was angry (he is always angry) and he said, “What in tarnation are you doing! My folks back home (wherever that is) have been asking me to leave office for decades. I have always ignored them. Do you know how hard I am going to have to work to ignore them in future decades?”

Since Bill Frist left the Senate he has served as an adjunct professor of Cardiac Surgery at Vanderbilt University. As a leading authority on healthcare, Senator Frist speaks nationally on health reform, government policy, global health, education reform, and volunteerism. In 2019 he launched “A Second Opinion” podcast, which addresses challenging healthcare issues of today from three distinct vantage points: policy, medicine, and innovation.

An example of the kind of thought provoking videos he produces is this one about the Coronavirus... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlWH3z3pToc

This informative video was published on 3/25/20 and in the following 5 months it has been viewed only 240 times. (Later I will tell you why I bothered to peck out this sentence.)

************

I went to my Search Bar and typed “Jus”. Immediately a drop down list appeared and “Justine Bieber” was on top of the list.

(Then I searched on “Bil” looking for Bill Frist and the drop down list was Billie Eilish, Billion Auto, Bill Gates, BiliBili, Billy Joel & Bill Cosby but no Bill Frist.)

I saw this headline, “Justin & Hailey Bieber Get Their Temperatures Checked While Arriving at a Studio”

This headline appeared on August 19, 2020. In 2 days time there were 401,000 likes on Facebook alone. Remember I said above that in 5 months Bill Frist got 240 hits on his Thought Provoking Intelligent Video about an Important To All of Us Subject (Coronavirus).

My point is obvious...Or is it?...We have a society that is Engrossed In and Captivated By Unimportant Miscellaneous Trivia.

************

Is it possible that I have not convinced you about the truth of what I pecked out in the last paragraph? Allow me to give you 3 more Miscellaneous Bits of Trivia to Prove the Silliness of following these Adored Celebrities...

Ø Hailey wore a cute bikini top to beat the heat in the city and was seen wearing a cute flannel shirt later on in the day.

Ø Earlier in the day, Hailey was spotted with a gal pal picking up a drink to go after a workout class.

Ø The day before, Justin and Hailey were seen out to lunch wearing some matching animated masks.

Don’t know what an Animated Mask is? Neither did I but now you and I do...

  

Would I kid u??

Smartfella

 

This Is An Emergency!

The reporters covering the “Peaceful” Protests in Portland are struggling to continue covering this ongoing story because their Word Processors have run out of the words, “protest(s) turn(s) violent”. Here are some actual headlines...

Ø Portland Protest Turns Violent, Federal Police Clear Plaza

Ø Portland Protests Turn Violent, Riot Declared

Ø Portland Protest Turns Violent, Brutal Assault Caught On Video

Certain phrases are also short supply in these dire times like:

Ø mostly peaceful protesters

Ø peaceful protesters burn down public building

Ø mostly peaceful protesters non-violently burn down most of courthouse

This is serious! If you have any of these badly needed words/phrases you can spare, please send them to:

Reporters Covering Peaceful Protesters R Us

Po Box 666

Portland, OR 97201

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

They Chose Their Own Title and It Fits Them To A T...Or does it?

Members of our 9% Approval Rated Congress long ago decided to bestow on themselves a Title. To come up with what they considered an appropriate title they formed a Committee (they always form a committee). The Committee being guided by Roberts Rules of Title Bestowing went to the Roberts Book of Titles to find the Perfect Title to describe a Member of our Congress.

The Committee blew right past the section that they should have been using...“Appropriate Titles Based on Past Performance” and concentrated their search efforts on the section no Honorable Politician (is Honorable Politician an Oxymoron?) would have ever dared to look into...“Titles Meant to Obfuscate and Confuse” and came up with the most inappropriate Title you could ever imagine for a Member of Congress...“Honorable”.

That’s when the Folks Back Home looked at each other and said to their collective selves, “We are in deep trouble now”. 

************

I took a modicum of Bloggers License with this Blog Posting. It is not just Members of Congress who are addressed as “Honorable”.

In the United States, “honorable” is used as a title of courtesy for current and former public officials. (In England, there are strict rules about who gets the title.) U.S. usage varies, because there is no official etiquette; the honorific is often used for judges and justices, members of Congress, governors, mayors, and members of state legislatures.

All these people may be called “Honorable” but George Washington had a slightly different but much better way of looking at this honorable question. He once said that of all the titles that could be bestowed upon him, the one he wanted to keep forever was, “Honest Man”. 

Legend has it that President Washington never told a lie. I would like to quibble with this legend. I once read where he said as he was leaving Washington, D.C. for the last time, “I have enjoyed my time in this fine city”. That had to be a lie.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella 

Lagniappe: Heart Surgeon and Lung Transplant Surgeon Doctor Bill Frist is a Former Senate Majority Leader. This is what he thinks we think about Members of Congress and me thinks he is correct...“Folks trust their doctor. They don’t trust their congressman”.

This Is Getting Ridiculous!

On more than one occasion I have published the Blog Posting below. It tells a frightening story about how bad our 9% Approval Rated Congress is with regard to Understanding Arithmetic...

Too Many Members of Congress Can’t Handle Basic Arithmetic

This may seem elementary to those of you who have gone through the 5th grade.

Lots of numbers are being thrown around our 9% Approval Rating Congress these days. I watched in amazement recently on CSPAN as one of our elected "leaders" said the following …

"My good friend from across the aisle has just voiced strong opposition to my proposal to spend $10 Billion to convert all states that are using Paper Ballots to Electronic Voting Machines and to convert all states who are using Electronic Voting Machines to Paper Ballots. I continue to be amazed at the short sightedness of the Opposition Party and their ongoing inability to handle basic arithmetic with regard to a mere $10 Billion price tag."

"I am sure that the folks back home have no problem with spending $10 Billion for such a worthy project. They understand that 10 is not a big number. 11 is bigger than 10 and so is 12. If I were asking for 18, that ought to give pause to the taxpayers as to how their money is being spent but 10 is only 10.  It is hardly more than 9."

"Beam me up Lord. I can no longer stand being around these penny-pinchers who are not smarter than a 5th grader."

Ok, I admit I made up all of the above…Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Today my sources are telling me it is a lot worse than I ever imagined. It seems that Members of Congress are particularly unable to comprehend percentages and this lack of comprehension on their part is going to cost us all dearly.

This back and forth took place yesterday between Senator Foghorn Leghorn and Senator Yosemite Sam.

 

       Senator Foghorn Leghorn (SFL)...If I understand you right, My Good Friend Yosemite, you are saying that the Folks Back Home are very much in favor of your Gigantic Tax Increase. You are using percentages to support your proposal. I am ill at ease with your use of percentages because you know full well that all of your fellow good friend Senators have always had problems understanding percentages. I do trust you, My Good Friend, but please explain.

·        Senator Yosemite Sam (SYS)...Yes siree bob! You’re darn tootin! The folks back home are dying for a Gigantic Increase in their Taxes! Bear with me, My Good Friend, I’ll explain it to you. Have I ever lied to you before?

·        SFL...I can’t say with certainty you have lied but it does seem, when I started to suspect in the past that you might be about to lie to me, you always start using percentages.

·        SYS...Why, My Good Friend, you got me this time. I do do that instinctively but, to be honest with you, I don’t understand percentages either. I do know this, percentage usage has gotten more legislation passed in Congress than has bribery and that’s saying a lot!

·        SYS...Here is the proof that the folks back home are asking for a Gigantic Tax Increase that my crack team of obfuscators have come up with...
>.47% of that the Folks Back Home are very much in favor of my Gigantic Tax Increase.
>I know I have probably lost you already because you see that percent sign after that .47 and there may be a chance that you are thinking to yourself, “Self, that does not sound like a lot of folks”.
>If I understood what I was talking about, it might not sound like a lot to me either but bear with me because my crack team of obfuscators has worked very hard on this obfuscation.
>Further analysis has shown that .97% of this .47%, are not only in favor of a Gigantic Tax Increase, but they are wanting the Gigantic Tax Increase to be retroactive to last January 1.
>I really don’t see the need to explain further. I am fairly certain that 97% is almost 100% and, I also think, 100% is all of the living folks back home and fair portion of the deceased voters who will be going to the polling places in the upcoming election.

************

There you have it. This is proof that we all want to be taxed up the wazoo. Even if you have trouble with percentages, we can all agree that 97 out of 100 is a strong mandate for anything.

Senator Yosemite Sam has earned a well deserved reputation as a strong debater. Some say it is because of his liberal use of language that included lots of “Yes siree bobs!” and “You’re darn tootins!” and “You long eared galoot!” and “I’ll give you a taste of leather!” and “You just yupped yourself into a hole in the head!” and “Oooooo! I’ll blast your head off for this!” and “You forced me to use force”, his shouting all the time and his ever present 2 six-shooters but I disagree. I think, while he may say that percentages confuse him, he is an Accomplished Master of Percentages and creating Glazed Over Looks in the eyes of his Good Friends in the Senate when he starts throwing around those Percent Signs.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: One thing for sure you'll never see Yosemite Sam in a Safe Place.

They Teach Our Children

I went to a meeting a few years ago where the navigator on the B-29 (the Enola Gay) that had dropped the first Atomic Bomb was the featured speaker.

His name was Theodore Van Kirk.

He has since died at the age of 93 on July 28, 2014.

He said during his address to us that he had made many presentations over the years to schools.

One time he was introduced by a faculty member at a high school who told the assembly that he was a veteran of World War 2.

Of course, that is normally written WW II. 

She introduced him as a veteran of, "World War Eleven".

These Historically Challenged "teachers" are “teaching” our children. 😞

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

How Dare You!

One of my Young Dear Readers who is a College Freshman just sent me an email. In it he told me a horrifying story about what has happened to him at his University. I am so glad he did it in Bullet Point Format because it will greatly help me to put together this Blog Posting...

Ø Up until the Wuhan Virus attacked us several months ago he thought all was going well in his new college life.

Ø He was pleased with how he was progressing and had accumulated a very acceptable Grade Point Average in the courses he had already completed.

Ø In March all of his courses were changed to Online Courses Instruction.

Ø As time went on he had become comfortable with learning via the Internet.

Ø Recently he was surprised to receive a phone call from the Dean of his school of instruction.

Ø The Dean told him he wanted to conduct a Sheltering in Place Progression Interview.

Ø There were no difficult questions during the Sheltering in Place Progression Interview phone call but it seemed to my Young Dear Reader that the interview was more of a chit chat than an actual interview.

Ø After about 4 minutes the Dean’s voice changed from one of pleasant conversation to tense agitation, and as my Young Dear Reader was in the middle of what he thought was a rather insightful and intelligent answer to the latest question, the Dean interrupted him and said, “I’ve heard enough!” and hung up without even saying good bye.

My Young Dear Reader told me he just sat there in stunned silence for a few minutes. He did not know what had just happened but two days later he found out the awful truth of what had just happened.

************

His answer came in the form of a Snail Mail Letter from his University. It read as follows...

“Dear Young Dear Reader,

We have been growing increasingly concerned about the written papers you have been submitting for you class assignments, therefore, we decided to conduct an Interview to Check You Out. We could not have been more shocked at your performance during this Interview!

Our suspicions were aroused because of the antiquated practices you employed in these written assignments. The use of capitalizations and punctuation is something we have not seen at this university for many years.

The phone call was necessary to verify our suspicions. We now know for certain that you, my good man, are Using Proper Grammar! This is unacceptable and will not be tolerated at this University now or at any time in the future!

As a result of this transgression of yours, you are barred from any further participation in all courses that you are presently enrolled in and your College Record will officially show the awarded grades as Withdrawn Failure.

In addition, all courses which you have already completed will have the Incorrect Grade of Record changed to “F Minus”, which, of course, stands for Failure Really Bad!

If you decide you want to force the issue and continue your course of instruction at our University simply because you feel entitled since you have already paid our Exorbitant and Unjustifiable Tuition, you cannot expect any higher Grade than “F Minus” until we have been convinced that you are screwing up the English Language as completely as every one of your Fellow More Enlightened Students.

Two Bits! Four Bits! Six Bits a Dollar! All for Rutgers Stand Up and Holler!

Sincerely,

Dean I. M. Silly”

************

If you wanna read all about it, click the link below...

Rutgers University has declared Use of Proper Grammar Racist

https://pjmedia.com/culture/rick-moran/2020/07/26/rutgers-university-declares-grammar-racist-n706569

Would I kid u?

Smartfella