The Passing Of A Bureaucrat

I am posting this Foolishness...Or Is It to the memory of a dedicated government worker you may never have heard of.

 

I.M. Abureau Crat has died. Thankfully he was featured on 60 Minutes two months ago so we can fully know about his achievements as he diligently worked for the U.S. Department of Agriculture during his 35 year career of service to us all. Mr. Crat died the day after he retired. The cause of death was listed as a horrible feeling of loss now that he no longer worked for the USDA.He simply felt there was no longer any reason to go on.

 

Here is a small excerpt from the 60 Minutes episode that aired exactly 2 months to the day before Mr. Crat’s passing...

 

Interviewer: What was your greatest achievement in your 35 year career working for the USDA?

 

Mr. Crat: The thing of which I am most proud is the publication of U.S. Trade Descriptions for Poultry.

 

Interviewer: Ah, yes, we have all heard of that publication and the good citizens of the Good Ole USofA are most appreciative of that herculean effort and 60 Minutes wishes to thank you, on behalf of that grateful citizenry. What other publications have you worked on during your long and illustrious career?

 

Mr. Crat: None.

 

Interviewer: None? You mean this one publication is your life’s work?

 

Mr. Crat: I hope I do not detect a feeling of distain in your question. You need to understand that this publication says all that needs to be said about U.S. Trade Descriptions for Poultry. It is an all encompassing compilation of what every poultry processor needs to know to properly process poultry.

 

Interviewer: Huh?

 

Mr. Crat: I see I need to give you more information. Consider this before you start showing such distain for someone’s life’s work. This vital publication contains:

Ø 178 pages when it is converted from PDF Format to a Word Document.

Ø There are 47,517 carefully chosen words in this publication that I carefully chose.

Ø There are 299,952 characters (with spaces) contained therein.

Ø There are 11,750 lines that are chock full of much needed drivel that Poultry Processors have been waiting to gaze upon ever since I started on this project 35 years ago.

Ø I feel compelled because of your snide use of the word “Huh?” to point out that this publication is also chock full of Textboxes, Footnotes and Endnotes that greatly contribute to the overall sense of confusion generated by my dedication to minutia in all things related to poultry.

Ø One final point, Mr. Smarty, I am not a Touch Typist which means putting all of this together was really hard!

Ø I am proud of what I have done and, to prove my point, this publication has been part of the Public Record for 2 months now and already 2 people have looked at it for a combined accumulation between the 2 of them for 57 seconds!

 

To give you, My Dear Readers, a feel for the confusion generated by Mr. Crat’s life work, here is a paragraph from near the beginning of the publication...

71.20 Purpose of Standard

(a) The purpose of this standard is to facilitate trade at the wholesale level by better communicating product and packaging specifications for raw poultry products among buyers, producers, and traders. The trade descriptions provide concise word and picture descriptions of product composition and define a coding system to precisely specify product and packaging characteristics. The producer should certify that delivered product satisfies all product and packaging characteristics specified by the buyer. For additional assurance that delivered product will meet the purchaser’s specified options, the buyer or seller optionally can use the services of USDA or another third party. When examinations are limited to final products, third parties will not normally be able to certify certain purchaser-specified options, specifically: production and feeding systems, slaughter system, and the adequacy of product labeling.

 

If you have not had enough, here is a link to the entirety of the U.S. Trade Descriptions for Poultry... https://t.co/kLyAmTh2RE

Special Note To My Dear Readers...I know you are reluctant to click on the above link. Please click it and simply skim through it. You have not seen Minutia till you have seen this Minutia.

 

Allow me to say that it was not all Drivel and Bureaucratic Confusion. I particularly found enlightening the distinction made between Chicken Feet and Chicken Paws (pages 78 through 81)...Or did I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’m Offended At What You Just Said And I’m Also Offended At What You Did Not Just Say Not To Mention I’m Offended By What You Might Have Said When I Was Not Around To Hear You Say It And Be Offended By What You Said When I Was Not Present To Hear You And Be Offended By It

Do you realize how often an Offense Sensitive Person can get offended? I can’t put a number on it but I can tell you when it will happen...

It will happen every time anyone says anything the Offense Sensitive Person does not think ought to be said.

To avoid hearing something with which he does not agree, the Offense Sensitive Person needs to protect himself and the Fella knows that help on the way.

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The Fella has become aware of an Ingenious Idea that will protect Offense Sensitive People and it involves the use of Virtual Reality Glasses.

I have been in contact with several of the companies who manufacture Virtual Reality Glasses and I found out that they are all feverously working on the same Earthshaking Idea. The one that perfects it and patents this Breakthrough Technology first is going to make a lot of money.

They were very open with me about the progress they are making and they told me everything but they did make me swear to secrecy. I am going to tell you, My Dear Readers, because I know I can trust you to not tell anyone...

Ø There see fortunes to be made by addressing the consternation that Offense Sensitive People experience every day, especially on College Campuses.

Ø Most of you probably know about the built-in feature in Word Processing Computers that corrects for Typing Errors. In Microsoft Word it is called Auto Correct.

Ø I see that one of you does not know what I am talking about. Allow me to give him a few examples...
> If you type the word “their” incorrectly as “thier” your computer automatically corrects it to “their”.
> If you type the word “that” incorrectly as “taht” your computer automatically corrects it to “that”.
> If you type the phrase “I like that car” incorrectly as “I like tha tcar.” your computer automatically corrects it to “I like that car”.

Ø The researchers in this area believe they ought to be able to use this technology in Virtual Reality Glasses to protect Offense Sensitive People from having them hear Opinions and Logical Lines of Reasoning that might expose them to the possibility they might change their minds about their Set In Stone Opinions and Peer Influenced Beliefs. Allow me to explain how this will work...
> Those who are Offense Sensitive People will have to wear Offense Sensitive People Protection Virtual Reality Glasses anytime they are close enough to any other person to hear that other person speak.
> This needs to be an absolute requirement of their every day existence.
> It can never be left to chance that they let their guard down because they think that the approaching person is someone they feel thinks exactly the same as the Offense Sensitive Person thinks.
> Offense Sensitive People Protection Virtual Reality Glasses will be programmed to change incoming lines of thought that are different from the mindset of the Offense Sensitive Person to be exactly the same as the mindset of the Offense Sensitive Person.
> Use of this amazing advancement will make sure that Offense Sensitive People everywhere are never exposed to any thinking that is not in line with their own thinking.

I took a giant step toward believing that Offense Sensitive People Protection is an idea whose time has come after I attended a My Opinion Is the Only One That Matters Protest on a local college campus last Thursday.

Then and there I also became convinced that there was a lot of money to be made selling Virtual Reality Offense Sensitive People Protection Glasses when I heard one of the speakers at the protest shout to the wide-eyed protesters that surrounded him...

I was dumbfounded! I could not believe that a Teaching Professor of this university would dare say something that I did not agree with! I had an almost over powering urge to walk out of his classroom but I knew I needed an A in his class to complete my degree in Square Circle Implementation Technology. I just sat there and kept saying over and over… How can he dare to say such things? I can’t bear to listen to him. It’s just not fair that deaf people have it so easy!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

You’re Fired!

A Tallahassee police officer was fired on Sunday after a motorist accused him of sexual assault during a traffic stop on Saturday night.

 

The Police Chief said an investigative team was sent to meet with the victim to collect evidence (but the officer is already fired).

 

The officer was hired in January 2017 after spending nearly 12 years with Gadsden County Sheriff's Office, most recently working at Gadsden Correctional Facility and when he left he was a Captain. Prior to entering law enforcement, the officer spent eight years in the Navy.

 

Gadsden Officials said he was a good officer and only left for a better paying job in Tallahassee.

 

The officer is not under arrest (just fired) and there has been no determination on criminal charges (but the officer is already fired).

 

The State Attorney’s Office is working with (TPD) to determine if there's evidence of a crime (but the officer is already fired), and if so, what crime (but the officer is already fired).

 

He also said investigators are moving with all deliberate speed, and he'd rather get it right than get it fast (sounds pretty fast because the officer is already fired).

 

"The fact that it was in my office within 24 hours is incredibly fast," he said. "There are a lot of crimes that are investigated for weeks, months or years before my office is involved."

 

Department protocol is generally to place an officer on administrative leave during an open investigation (but, in this case, the officer is already fired).

 

From the Fella’s Soap Box: The Allegations against the officer may prove to be truthful but they must be proven to be so. The Allegations may be the result of Lies, Deliberate Fabrications, Misunderstandings and/or Distortions (but, in this case, the officer is already fired).

 

This Fired Officer may be guilty as sin but it sure looks like he has been judged guilty as sin before the evidence of his sin is in.

 

Did I already say this sounds pretty fast to me?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: In preparing for this posting I clicked on a TV News Web Site and there I saw this link… Ofc Crump 18006391. In the old days newspaper peddlers used to stand on street corners and shout, “Read All About It!”. In this case, I must warn you that Mr. Redacted got there before you. Now that my tongue in firmly in my cheek, I will say this… The Incident Report Is Particularly Informative…Or is it?

This Is Gonna Get Confusing But I Know You Can Handle It

Stupid Takes a Lot of Explaining

  The Beginning Part of This Posting:  

Ø This is an updated status on 2 earlier blog postings (included below) about the Construction of a Giant Net along the Golden Gate Bridge to prevent people who want to jump off of the bridge to commit suicide from committing suicide once they jump off of the bridge.

Ø My Fellow Americans, they are actually going ahead with construction!

Ø Some politician or some politician’s brother-in-law is going to make a lot of money off this craziness.

Ø I know some of you think I make things up to make my Blog entertaining.

Ø Those of you who think this way think this way based on the flimsy evidence that I have actually been known to make things up to make my Blog entertaining.

Ø This is not one of those times.

Ø I say again, they are actually going ahead with construction!

Ø Actual installation will begin in mid 2018 and be finished in 2021.

Ø In my first blog (below) about this craziness I said we had been told that the construction of the net would cost between $40 and $50 Million. I speculated the final cost would be closer to the $50 Million number. Later I read that the price tag had risen to $75 Million. On April 13, 2017 at the Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Deterrent Commemoration Ceremony the cost is listed as $211 Million.

 

If you care to read all about the Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Deterrent Commemoration Ceremony in agonizing and minute detail, click on this link... 

Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Deterrent Commemoration | Golden Gate

The quote I like the best (not really) is (I know I read it somewhere in all the links that are available about this bridge net but today I can't find it. Trust me, it's out there somewhere), “If these measures save just one life…all the hard work will all be worth it...”

But did it really save even one life?...

Ø A determined suicide-inclined person might just go shoot himself or go into his bathroom and slit his wrist or take a bunch of pills or jump off of another bridge.

Ø A determined suicide-inclined person might look over at the net and fear that he might get all scuffed up by falling into the net and instead go shoot himself or go into his bathroom and slit his wrist or take a bunch of pills or jump off of another bridge.

Ø What do you wanna bet that in the future we will be seeing reports about how many lives were saved because no one tried to jump off of the bridge because of the net?

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Middle Part of This Posting:

Here is my first Blog Posting about this silliness on October 15, 2008...

Finding Another Way

  

If someone wants to commit suicide, they will find another way.

 

I read where the city of San Francisco is considering a stainless-steel net under the Golden Gate Bridge to prevent people from committing suicide by jumping off the bridge.

 

This net will cost somewhere between $40 & $50 million. What do you want to bet it will end up being closer to that $50 million figure?

 

There is no law that requires a person who commits suicide to jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge. If someone wants to kill himself, there are a lot of other ways to do it. What is next for the suicide prevention minded city council of San Francisco? …

Ø Nets under all tall buildings, trees and ladders?

Ø Outlawing all tall buildings, trees and ladders?

Ø Requiring all tall buildings, trees and ladders be short?

 

I may be one step ahead of the city council, but I wonder if they have thought of the possibility that the suicide minded person might just scramble across the stainless-steel net and continue their plunge?

 

I know what they could do if the jumpers started crawling across the net... They could shoot them!

 

Would I kid u?

SmartFella?

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The Last Part of This Posting:

Here is my second Blog Posting about this silliness on June 29, 2014...

 

If You Persist In Stupidity, One Day You Will Be Declared Certifiably Stupid

I wrote a Blog on October 15, 2008, about a Not So Brilliant Idea those Not So Brilliant People in the San Francisco Area were thinking of doing. They were contemplating putting a Gigantic Net underneath the Golden Gate Bridge to catch Would Be Suicide People before they became Actual Suicide People.

 

As I pecked that one out I was under a lot of pressure to get it posted quickly because I was sure that the Not So Brilliant People were going to publicly state that the Golden Net Idea was dumb, and they were not going to install it, and it would have taken the wind out of my Foolishness...Or Is It Posting.

 

Boy, was I wrong. It turns out that the, Not So Brilliant People have remained committed to their crazy idea all this time and they are getting close to bringing their dream into fruition. My newspaper now tells me, “San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge may soon be less of a magnet for people trying to commit suicide, as regional officials consider a plan to install mesh barriers beneath the historic orange span to catch jumpers before they hit the water.”

 

Forrest Gump tried to warn us. Sometimes it seems that Forrest Gump was the only not stupid one among us and he was never really among us because he never actually was. He gave us, Stupid Is As Stupid Does.

 

How about a few Catchy Silly (Or are they?) Sayings for the future?...

Ø Stupid is stupid.

Ø Stupid never goes away.

Ø Stupid does as stupid does.

Ø Stupid...Not Just a Temporary Condition but a Way of Life.

Ø Stupid is our most important product.

Ø Why be smart? Stupid is a lot easier.

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I bet you never thought you would get to the end of this Foolishness. Well, you are almost done. Below is a rendering of what the Net will look like. Be honest. Don’t you think a Determined Suicide Person would be able to crawl across or roll across this “Barrier” to continue his dying?

Heck, he might just bounce off the net and continue his dying while he is changing his mind and before the Golden Gate Sharpshooters get to shoot him.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Investigative Journalist Hall of Fame Has Announced Its Newest Inductee

Press Release

Statement issued by the President of the prestigious Society of Investigative Journalist...

 

The Society of Investigative Journalist is pleased to announce the newest inductee into its Hall of Fame.

 

It should come to no surprise to those of you who know of his work. He has long been a part of the very fabric of all that is good and admired in the Investigative Journalism Community. His accomplishments are legendary but this most recent year he has exceeded even his own past lofty accomplishments.

 

I, of course, am speaking of I. M. Tenacious of the New York Herald Times Union Chronicle. It takes my breath away to try to relate to you the fruits of his untiring efforts on behalf of Investigative Journalism. He has always believed in digging deeply into the corruption that he, and sometimes only he, sees all around us.

 

It is hard to believe that in this one single year he has been the driving force for the removal from positions of power and influence 73 Political and Business Leaders. Without him we would never have known of the dastardly things he has brought to light.

 

The most extraordinary proof of his ability to uncover the well hidden is the undeniable fact that, after further investigation, some of these accused awful people have been proven to actually have done the bad things he laid bare for the entire world to see.

 

No finer example exists than I. M. Tenacious as being emblematic of our Motto...

Work Quickly, Accuse With a Flourish, Get Them Fired and Move On To the Next Potentially Guilty Victim

Therefore, it gives me great pleasure as the President of the Society of Investigative Journalist to present the Investigative Journalist of the Year Award (The Snoopy) to, probably the most deserving recipient ever in a long line of past distinguished honorees, Mr. I. M. Tenacious!

 

In closing allow me to say the Society is sorry about the large number of accused who were ultimately proven innocent but needlessly have had their lives and careers ruined by the efforts of our association. We have pledged to do better in the future. As evidence of this New Dedication to Excellence, we have raised our sights and will strive in the next fiscal year to have a few more of our accused ultimately found to be Actually Guilty.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Eulogy After The Funeral

The Funeral Is Tomorrow

On Thursday Morning I received I received word that My Good Friend Don’s Funeral Services were to be held the next morning at 10. I had known him since June 1966. The first thing I said to myself was, “Wow! That’s 418 miles away!” The second thing I said to myself was, “You better start driving!”

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Technically This Is Not a Eulogy

A Eulogy is spoken at a funeral. This was not a Delivered Eulogy but is the result of remembrances that floated through my mind on the 836 Mile Trip to and from Don’s Funeral Services.

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Meeting, Losing Track Of and Finding Don Again

I met and worked with Don at Ford Motor Company from June 1966 until I left Ford in November 1975. We were always friendly toward each other but for the last 15 years we have been friends...Really Good Friends.

 

I had a business contact with him in about 1985 and that was the only time we saw each other until I got a call from him out of the blue in 2003.

 

I don’t know how he found me but I am so very glad he did. He called because he needed help with his computer. How he found out I knew more than he did about computing I never asked. I was too busy being his friend to bother asking.

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The Coffin Room

Every time I made a trip back to New Orleans (where he and I were born) I always stopped and spent two nights with he and his wife June. I was always glad I was there when I arrived and a little sad when I left.

 

I always slept in The Coffin Room. You can bet I asked why it had that name the first time I heard Don tell me where I would be sleeping and this is that story...

Ø One day Don saw an ad selling coffins that were for sale at a very good price.

Ø Don always liked a bargain.

Ø He made contact with the seller consummated the deal for two bargain priced coffins.

Ø Time passed and the Coffin Seller called and asked when Don was going to arrange to take possession of the coffins.

Ø Don told him that he had no need for the coffins at this time.

Ø The seller did not want to hear about his needs and he told Don that he needed to take the coffins off the seller’s hands as soon as possible, whether he needed them or not.

Ø Don complied with the coffin seller’s demand.

 

That’s how The Coffin Room got its name. There were two coffins in one of the room’s two closets.

 

I probably stayed in the room about 15 times but I never did open the door to that second closet.

 

I finally got to see one of the two coffins at Don’s Funeral Service. It was a fine looking coffin. It may have been a bargain but it did not look cheap. Don sure knew how to buy coffins.

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Don Was 12 Years Older Than I Am But He and June Had Been Married 2 Years Less (52) Than I Penny and I Have Been Married (54)

Don was not dragging his feet about getting married. He was looking for June.

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Being In That Number with Don and June

Shortly before the Saints played in their only Super Bowl on February 7, 2010 I called Don and said I wanted to watch the game with someone else who had been in Tulane Stadium when the Saints played their first game on September 17, 1967. I then proceeded to invite myself and my wife over to Don’s house to watch the game (another 836 mile drive).

 

For that first Saints game I hired on as a Security Guard for Pinkerton Detective Agency so I could get to see the game. At the kick off I was in one of the end zones in my nifty uniform looking secure.

 

My job it turned out was not to keep the drunks from spilling beer on other drunks because that was an impossible task. My job was to attempt to keep the drunks who had been spilled on from getting mad because they had beer all over him.

 

Don was somewhere else in the stadium in better seats without having to wear a secure uniform. Even then Don had more money than I did because he always was an excellent businessman.

 

Let’s get back to the Super Bowl in 2010. We had a Super Time because it was a Super Game, it was a Super Day and we watched the Saint’s Victory with Super Friends.

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Charities Are Going to Miss Don

Don not only knew how to make money but he also knew how to give it away. Several times on my visits I took note that there was a Charity Stack on his desk. It was made up of solicitations for his money Don had received for which he had yet to write a check. The checks were certain to be written eventually.

 

Some might say he was a Soft Touch but I rather think of him for what he was. He was a Generous, Caring and Sharing man who always tried to give back.

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A Fitting Passing

Don liked all things Military. He had been in the Navy in his youth. His office has pictures and replicas of Ships and Military Aircraft all over it. He was not an Admiral. He was an ordinary man but he was a Very Special Ordinary Man.

 

He had a strong belief in his God and he died with his God. He was in his Big Chair watching a Catholic Mass on his TV. It was a Fitting Passing for a Generous, Good Friend, Good Businessman, Good Father, Good Husband, Religious, Ice Cream Loving and Very Special Ordinary Man to Pass Away.

 

He wasn’t an Admiral but he could have been.

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Pay Our Respects

When people go to funerals they often say they go to “Pay Their Respects”. For those who attended Don’s Funeral Services it is only fitting that they go to Pay Their Respects because Don Deserved Respect.

 

Don’s Friend,

FellaO

Are Leprechauns Victims Of Racism?

A day does not go by where we do not read a newspaper article about someone being offended, see a news piece on TV about someone being offended or even have someone tell us that we have offended them by saying what we just said.

 

In the cases where we have done the offending, we frantically try and figure out what the offended was offended about. Many times we never do figure out what caused the offense. All too often we find ourselves apologizing for whatever we said that was offensive when we really want to say what our parents would have said in this situation, “Get over it! You sure are sensitive! Want a beer?”

 

We are often told that the most offended class in the Good Ole USofA is the American Indian (now known as the Native American). The interesting thing about the Native Americans being offended is they are often unaware they have been offended, until someone who knows more about being offended than they do, informs them that they need to get upset.

 

There are a whole bunch of advocates that are ready, willing and certainly able to carry the Native Americans’ Cause forward for them.

 

Here’s a good example. When the Washington Post polled Native Americans in 2016, it found 9 of 10 were not offended by the name of Washington D.C.’s NFL franchise—the Redskins. The results did not vary much by age, income, education, politics or proximity to a reservation. And the results hadn’t changed much since a similar 2004 poll by the Annenberg Public Policy Center.

 

Maybe because the Native Americans do not seem to care much about getting upset the Advocates for the Offended are now looking elsewhere for “victims” and, believe it or not, they are now getting upset on behalf of Leprechauns.

 

Since Leprechauns are not real, you would think that Advocates would quickly lose interest. Don’t count on it because, once these things get started, they seem to develop a life of their own.

 

A hot under the collar Advocate for Leprechauns recently said, “Many Irish-Americans are not offended, but many are. Should that also change? The answer is yes! Unequivocally yes. Pernicious, negative stereotypes of marginalized people that offend, even some among them, should be changed.”

 

The Fella is very confused...

Ø We are being told that Irish-Americans are offended.

Ø We know that Irish-Americans are not Leprechauns.

Ø Irish-Americans know that they are not Leprechauns.

Ø We also know that Leprechauns do not exist.

Ø How can Irish-Americans be offended about something that they are not that does not exist?

 

Also take notice of the use of big words by the Advocates for the Offended...”unequivocally”, “pernicious”, “stereotypes” and “marginalized”. People with weak arguments often use big words to hide the weakness of their argument.

 

Finally, I would like to zero in on the words “even some among them” in the above quote. How many hoops are we to jump through for “some”? How many is “some”? Could “some” be one? Are we destined to tie ourselves in knots for “some” when “some” is only a few and the few do not seem to be paying much attention anyway?

 

How far away are we from hearing an impassioned lawyer say to a disbelieving judge...

“Your honor, this is unconscionable! Quoverts have suffered long enough under the yoke of this pernicious stereotyping. Their whole existence is being unequivocally marginalized. The prosecuting attorney has attempted to make a point of the fact that Quoverts do not exist. I ask you what difference does that make at this point. If they did exist, they would exist and, having made the point that they do not exist, it certainly follows that they would be offended if they did exist by all of what did or did not happen to them. Quoverts are people too!”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

California’s Affirmative Action for ‘Marijuana Entrepreneurs’

The Source for this Blog Posting is...

Jason L. Riley

Wall Street Journal

 

(Excerpts from Mr. Riley’s column are in Italics below.)

 

In California, a criminal record can prevent you from obtaining a liquor license but give you a leg up in obtaining a permit to deal dope.

 

It’s all part of an effort in the Golden State to help more minorities become “marijuana entrepreneurs”. On New Year’s Day 2018, California became the ninth state to legalize cannabis for recreational use, but officials are worried that not enough blacks will qualify for the permits needed to sell weed legally.

 

To address this “problem,” Los Angeles, Oakland and other cities have created “equity programs” that offer no-interest loans and other perks to people who live in poor black neighborhoods and have been convicted of drug crimes.

 

If you’re a white applicant, you can improve your own chances of receiving a permit by “incubating” an equity applicant, which means making him a 50% partner in the business or giving him floor space in your establishment, rent-free.

 

The people who dreamed this up sold it as a way to compensate blacks, who have been disproportionately affected by the war on drugs. But what about the disproportionate number of blacks who have been victims of these drug dealers? What about all the law-abiding blacks who reside in poor neighborhoods where drug gangs have taken over playgrounds and street corners and school yards and made the sound of gunfire a summer-night norm?

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Above is what Mr. Riley had to say about those who have been disproportionately affected by the war on drugs.

 

Below is The Fella’s Wise Guy Retort...Will all those who have been negatively affected by the actions of those who have been disproportionately affected now be positively affected proportionally?

 

How far are we away from hearing this conversation in courthouses across the Fruited Plain?...

Ø Potential Entrepreneur: Good Morning, Mr. Bureaucrat, I would like to fill out the required paperwork to open a bank in our fair community.

Ø Potential Entrepreneur: This is a big day for me.

Ø Potential Entrepreneur: I have always wanted to own a bank and, as long as I can remember, I have had this burning desire to enrich my fellow Smithvilleian’s lives by granting hard working and ambitious members of our community loans to start new business ventures and allow them and Smithville to prosper.

Ø Mr. Bureaucrat: Have you ever robbed a bank?

Ø Potential Entrepreneur: No.

Ø Mr. Bureaucrat: Sorry. If you have never robbed a bank, you are not entitled to become a banker.

Ø Potential Entrepreneur: Sigh.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella