I Wonder Why We Are Inspired By A Wonderful Fictional Woman Wonder Woman But We Ignore The Actual Deeds Of Actual Wonderful People

If I asked, have you ever heard of Benjamin Rush (No, he was not a relative of Rush Limbaugh), 99% of you would say one of the following to the electronic device of your choice in front of you, “Huh?” or “Who?”

 

If I asked, have you ever heard of Wonder Woman? 99.999% of you would say, “Absolutely! She is Wonderful!”

 

Is your Mind’s Eye available? If so, use your Mind’s Eye to picture this picture...

Ø One day Dr. Jonas Sulk was struck with the thought that he could invent a serum that would prevent Polio.

Ø Almost immediately he was again struck with the thought that such an undertaking was going to be a lot of hard work.

Ø He then thought of a better and absolutely easier way to become famous.

Ø He says to himself, “Self, my cousin is a pretty good writer. I will get him to write a pretty good article about how I invented a cure for Polio. Once my cousin’s writing has made me famous, I will not have to bother to find a cure for Polio. Why should I go to all the time and effort to actually invent the cure, when I can become just as famous for inventing the cure without actually having to invent the cure?”

 

Have I confused you enough? Are you to the point where you are saying to yourself, “Huh?”

 

It’s Wonder Woman. Her movies has been released and the Silliness of modern Good Ole USofA is in full swing. My newspaper has an article that says all of the following (My comments will be inserted in parentheses)...

Ø She is a “hero” for everybody (No she’s not. She’s a fictional character.)

Ø She has inspired all sorts of people the way all sorts heroes have inspired (No she didn’t. She’s a fictional character.)

Ø She embodies love, justice, kindness and independent thinking. (No, she does not. She’s a fictional character.)

Ø Since the beginning of time we’ve told stories through universal characters. Recently we’ve, for some reason, only chosen men to be those universal characters. (Huh?)

Ø Wonder Woman is for everybody. (No she’s not. She’s a fictional character.)

Ø She doesn’t want to bring any darkness to the world. (No she doesn’t not. She’s a fictional character.)

 

It’s my turn to wonder and I’m wondering why Hollywood did not make a movie about Dr. Benjamin Rush. He was pretty wonderful in his own right...

Ø He was a Founding Father.

Ø He signed the Declaration of Independence.

Ø He was a physician with Washington’s Army.

Ø He established America’s first dispensary.

Ø He heroically battled epidemics.

Ø He helped the poor.

Ø He fought slavery.

Ø He wrote the nation’s first chemistry textbook.

Ø His collected writings fill 45 volumes.

Ø He taught thousands of medical students that insanity was an illness, not a curse.

Ø He taught that dreams might be a pathway to the deeper workings of the mind.

Ø He has been called the father of American Psychiatry.

Ø On hearing of Rush’s death in 1813, John Adams wrote Thomas Jefferson: “I know of no character living or dead who has done more real good in America.”

 

Well I must concede that you put me in my place with that thought you just thought when you thought... “How could he be a Hero he did not wear a cape!”

 

That thought of yours has left me speechless.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Stop It At The Source

I just read in my newspaper that, if we build a new Export Terminal in Washington State to ship coal to China, we will be responsible for the pollution of China’s atmosphere when the coal is burned in China’s inefficient coal burning facilities.

In some people’s minds the Good Ole USofA is responsible for everything bad that happens anywhere in the world.

Did it ever dawn on these mental midgets that the fault lies in the Chinese People who build and operate these inefficient coal burning facilities?

Since the above is an undeniable Foolish Fact, my mind started churning on another evil that the Not-So-Good Ole USofA is responsible for and how we can turn it into a source of job creation which will help our struggling economy in these dire economic times.

We are the breadbasket of the world. We export humongous amounts of grain all over the world and have been doing so for a very long time. The inevitable result of this grain exportation is Methane Produced by the Cows That Eat Our Grains. Our unending desire to make money is harming the ecology.

If our Federal Government would go on an all out campaign to ramp up plants all over the country to produce Cow Corks we would stimulate Manufacturing, Employment, Tax Revenue and help our Balance of Trade Numbers all at the same time. This is a Win Win Idea for all concerned!

With this increase in Tax Revenue we could then increase our lobbying efforts to beg the Chinese to loan us more money.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Dreamt I Was A European Catholic Attending Sunday Mass

I have been to Europe a few times. There are Large Churches all over Europe. Oops, I left a word out of the prior sentence. I meant to peck out, “There are Large Empty Churches all over Europe”.

 

I am a Practicing Catholic and many of these Large Empty Churches are, in fact, Catholic.

 

Back To My Dream...

Ø I’m sitting in mass doing my best not to let my mind wander to other things knowing full well that my mind many times wanders to other things (like lunch).

Ø I start my serious concentration when it gets close to Holy Communion.

Ø I am shocked at what happens next...The priest skips right over the Distribution of Communion.

Ø My mind races with questions and confusion but the priest moves right along and wraps up the mass and heads down the aisle humming “A Closer Walk With Thee” softly to himself.

Ø As he gets close to me, I step into the aisle and block his way and I come right out with what is bothering me by asking him, “Why did you not distribute Communion?”

Ø  A sad countenance came over him and he said to me, “My son (priest always address me as their son) it seemed like a lot of trouble to go to for just the two of us”.

 

At that moment I looked around the Church and saw that he and I were the only two in that whole big church. I had been concentrating so hard on not thinking about lunch I had not noticed our aloneness. I just stood there and stared at him.

 

I was shaken back into consciousness as the priest continued, “Please excuse me because the first Stained Glass Tour is about to start and I have to set up the Post Card Stand”.

 

I simply stepped aside because I could see he was starting to get anxious to move on to Church Business. I felt fairly certain the Collection Basket Contributions are not what they once were.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

If You Acknowledge Plagiarism Up Front Is It Still Not Nice?

At the end of this Blog Posting is a link to the article that I plagiarized from. Now that I have that off my chest I recommend that, when you get down there, you click on the link and read the article.

 

The writer, Dick Yarbrough, has a style of writing that is very similar to my own. I have just compounded my injury toward Mr. Yarbrough by stealing a nifty turn of phrase from him and comparing my Word Pecking to his Slick Use of the English Language Word Processing.

 

Here are my stolen Dick Yarbrough words...

“So, why have I come to this decision not to run for public office? For one thing, the dry cleaners misplaced my clown suit. What is politics without a bunch of clowns?”

 

Do you see it? I just love the reference to Clown Suit Wearing being a requirement to membership in our 9% Approval Rated Congress!

------------------------

I will now start using my stolen Dick Yargbrough words to create my own brand of Foolishness...

 

At first I was confused and mystified. When my Clown Costumes started disappearing at the Dry Cleaners, I did not complain to the Dry Cleaner because, thanks to Larry David and Curb Your Enthusiasm, I understand the Universal Rule of Dry Cleaning...

Sometimes You Lose Something That Is Yours and Sometimes You Get Something That Is Not Yours and Sometimes You Get Back Your Worthless Laundry Ticket

 

At first I kept buying Replacement Clown Suits but every time I spilled some silliness on them and sent them in for cleaning they too ended up gone.

 

These budding congressmen ought not to have such a need to steal Clown Suits. Even if they can’t afford to buy their own suits now, they ought to know they are going to be Stinking Rich before they get half way through their first term.

 

While watching CSPAN, it did take me a while to start recognizing my particular suits because there are so many different Clown Suits that mine did not stand out.

 

Recognizing my own suits became a lot easier after I started taking a Smartphone Picture of my suits before I dropped them at the Dry Cleaners. Eventually I would spot my latest lost suit being worn by a Member of Congress as he Poked Holes in the Air with His Finger, pointed his finger at me while he was saying something about Not Paying My Fair Share and/or sleeping at his Assigned Sleeping Desk.

 

I started to toy with them by buying different kinds of Suits. The ones that disappeared as fast as Clown Suits were Snidley Whiplash, Goofy and Foghorn Leghorn.

 

Some suits never disappeared...Scrooge McDuck (he did not like to spend money), George Washington (he never told a lie) and Dudley DooRight (for obvious reasons).

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

http://www.thepostsearchlight.com/2017/04/07/broccoli-up-the-nose-ends-any-thoughts-of-a-political-career/

What If You Worked For One Company But Your Salary Was Paid For By Another Company. Would The Shareholders Of The Another Company Have A Legitimate Complaint?

I’m now going to make up a story about Fictitious Company #1 which makes an arrangement with Fictitious Company #2 whereby Fictitious Company #1 “loans” Fictitious Company #2 an employee to work in Fictitious Company #2 but Fictitious Company #1 will continue to pay said employee wherein Fictitious Company #2 has a much higher pay scale than Fictitious Company #1 but Fictitious Company #1 continues to pay “loaned” employee at Fictitious Company #2’s much higher pay scale and, loaned employee continues to accrue Retirement Benefits in Fictitious Company #1’s Retirement Plan.

 

I know a lot of things...

Ø I know that the above sentence is too long.

Ø I know that you don’t know what the heck I am talking about in the above paragraph.

Ø I know that this arrangement is not fair to the shareholders of Fictitious Company #1.

Ø I know that Loaned Employee is pleased as can be about this arrangement.

Ø I know that the “Loaned” Employee can’t believe his good fortune all these years (24) and he is about to slide into Retirement with a pension payment that is 10.5 higher than if he had continued to work for Fictitious Company #1.

Ø I know that the Loaned Employee is not going to say, “I object to this Pension Payment that is 10.5 times higher than if I had stayed worked for Fictitious Company #1 instead of working for Fictitious Company #2 and being paid by Fictitious Company #1 at Fictitious Company #2’s much higher pay scale”.

 

I know that you still don’t know what the heck I am talking about but I know I’m going to make all this as clear as can be before this Blog Posting is finished...Or will I?

Ø Neither Fictitious Company described above is Fictitious.

Ø Fictitious Company #1 is the Lansing Michigan Public School District.

Ø Fictitious Company #2 is the Michigan Education Association, the state’s largest teachers union.

Ø In 1993 the School District “loaned” (this is called “Release Time”) one of its employees to the Teachers Union.

Ø The Teachers Union Pay Scale was much higher than the School District’s Pay Scale.

Ø The School District has continued to pay the employee’s salary but at union’s much higher pay scale.

Ø The Loaned Employee has been the President of the Teachers Union since 2011 and is about to retire with a Pension that will be paid out of the School District’s Retirement Fund.

Ø Had Loaned Employee stayed with the School District it is estimated he would be entitled to an Annual Pension Payment of $10,000 from the School District’s Retirement Fund.

Ø Instead the Loaned Employee will receive an Annual Pension Payment of $105,000 from the School District’s Retirement Fund.

 

What’s that you just said? Did I really just hear you say that The Fella has finally lost it and he is completely fabricating stories to try and hang onto his few Dear Readers? (Some links to this not-made-up-story can be found in Lagniappe below.)

 

From my One Thing You Never Thought of Department, the jobs that Loaned Employee left at the School District still had to be done back at the School District all these years so the School District has had to employ, pay and accrue pension benefits for the Replacement Employee. (That’s known as adding insult to insult and injury.)

 

From my Oh Well, One Time Can’t Hurt Department, this has happened a lot more than one time. This is a quote from the source article for this posting... “The Office of Personnel Management tracks release time for federal employees. Its most recent report in 2014 showed that union employees logged 3.4 million hours of release time, at a cost of more than $162 million.”

 

Did I just hear you say to yourself, “This all sounds quite Kosher to me”?

 

Ahhhh! Go back and read all of the above again. You must have missed something.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

http://luxlibertas.com/why-do-taxpayers-get-the-bill-for-a-union-presidents-pension/

If ya don’t believe me...

https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-do-taxpayers-get-the-bill-for-a-union-presidents-pension-1496187459?mod=rss_opinion_main

Still don’t?...

http://www.dolphnsix.com/news/3981997/taxpayers-bill-union-president-s-pension

 

I’m In a Panic! What If I Can’t Buy Beer?

Yesterday I was asked to show my Driver’s License before I was allowed to buy beer. I got to thinking about this. Is it possible that the Beer Sellers in the Good Ole USofA cannot tell that I am over 21?

 

This is when my panic started into high gear. I am very far over 21. I am so far over 21 that it might be possible that the State of Georgia will refuse to renew my driver’s license next time I am required to renew it.

 

If they did refuse to renew it, I would not be able to buy any more beer, since the Beer Sellers can’t tell I am over 21! That would be awful!

 

I may be sliding down that Over the Hill Hill but my mind is still resourceful. I came up with and have implemented a Plan of Action that will keep me drinking beer for the foreseeable future...

I had my wife use my iPhone to take a video of me when I woke up this morning and tried to get out of bed and take my first six steps!

That will do the trick for sure. From now on whenever I am asked for my Beer Identification, I will take out my iPhone and show my struggling attempt to start my day video and I will be allowed to buy my beer and to start my walk home with my beer in hand.

 

What’s that you just said about walking? Don’t you remember that they are going to take away my driver’s license? Did you forget already?

 

Just how old are you? If they have not stopped your beer purchases, they will probably do so any day now. Keep your iPhone handy.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Acknowledging My Own Ignorance

Fermented Foods are good for us all. In my own case I have been introduced to Fermented Pickles. Up until now I have been completely ignorant about Fermented Pickles let alone the boundless wonders of Fermentation.

 

Here is the Fermentation Is Good For Us List...

Ø Is can aid digestion.

Ø It can restore the colonies of healthy bacteria (flora) in the gut. (Gut is another name for the Alimentary Canal. Alimentary Canal is the place where food is digested and adsorbed into the body. This includes the stomach and the intestines.)

Ø It can lessen or reduce allergies.

Ø It can reduce plaque bacteria in the mouth, resulting in fewer cavities and healthier gums.

Ø It can cause people to lose weight more easily.

Ø It can help prevent arthritis.

Ø It can help prevent atherosclerosis.

 

It looks to me like, if I start bulking up on Fermented Foods, Medicare is going to have to come after me in about 30 years and beat me to death with a stick.

 

I sure hope they come out to take that stick to me right before I run out of money.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It’s At Times Like These That My Dear Readers Are Thankful That They Are My Dear Readers

There is much in the news at present about Saudi Arabia and a new face is being presented regarding this Kingdom and how they treat women.

 

Historically Saudi Arabia has not allowed women to be full participants in their work force and, shockingly, has not allowed women to drive cars.

 

A very eloquent spokesman was interviewed last night on the news show I was watching and he spoke up in defense of his country...

Ø Women are now being allowed into the workforce and they are not artificially being barred from rising as far as their abilities will take them.

Ø To prove his point he said that there actually are Saudi Arabian Women who have been promoted into positions as high as CEO, CFO and President of major corporations.

 

The interviewer was surprised and seemed really impressed as he was told this information by the eloquent spokesman.

 

The Smartfella is not so easily fooled and he saw right through this Smokescreen of Deceptive Misinformation. If you were easily fooled as you read the two bullet points above, this is where being one of my Dear Readers can be so beneficial to you.

 

Having been trained by the Late Paul Harvey to always tell The Rest of the Story (he just paid me another visit in my computer pecking room) I will now allow you to benefit from my vast store of knowledge about this Eloquent Deception and I will tell you The Rest of the Story...

Ø It is a fact that the Saudis have been appointing women to lofty corporate positions such as CEO, CFO and President.

Ø It is also true that, since Saudi women are not allowed to drive, they are unable to make it to work on time.

Ø Every one of these CEO, CFO and President Female Executives have been fired for Cause beCause they are repeatedly arriving late for work.

Ø The average time in these high positions for Female CEOs, CFOs and Presidents was between 17 and 21 days.

 

If you were taken in by this Saudi Deception, don’t feel too badly. You can rest assured that you are one of the few that actually has the Straight Skinny because you are a Dear Reader of my Blog.

 

It is really a shame that “Few” and “Dear Readers” so often appear next to each other in the same sentence.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Heckling Is In

Too often we see those of us who are still brave enough to try and communicate Heckled for their attempt to communicate. Often times the Heckler seems to win the day. That’s because the Heckler can be Rude and the Communicator isn’t allowed to be Rude and Rude is accepted more than Communicating.

 

A short while back our New United Nations Ambassador found herself attacked about the Syrian Refugee Situation. (Now there is a subject that no one has an answer to but far too many “experts” have opinions about.)

 

Nikki Haley was now written an article about the Refugee Situation and the Heckling Episode. Here are a couple of excerpts:

 

First 2 paragraphs...

“I was onstage at the end of a very long day when the heckling started.

 

I was telling an international women’s conference about how, earlier that day, I had stood up in the United Nations Security Council to condemn Syria for a chemical-weapons attack that had put dead children on the front pages of the world’s newspapers. I was about to get to the part about how the U.S. would act to stop future chemical attacks when someone in the audience shouted: ‘What about the refugees?’”

 

There are numerous articles that have been written about the fact that Nikki Haley Fell Silent. People in her position are expected to have all the numbers and all the glib rebuttals at their finger tips. Nikki Haley was, therefore, “convicted” because she Fell Silent and the Heckler was declared the Winner.

 

Her article went on to say...

“The heckling was rude, but the question was legitimate. The Syrian war has created one of the greatest refugee crises of our time, with 12 million Syrian men, women and children—half the prewar population—killed or forced to flee their homes. What is happening in Syria and its neighboring countries is a true humanitarian crisis. But those who accuse the U.S. of heartlessness in the face of this crisis are wrong.

 

No country has invested more in protecting, housing, feeding and caring for Syrian refugees than the U.S. We have provided nearly $6.5 billion in emergency assistance for Syria since the start of the crisis. Inside Syria, some four million people benefit from U.S. assistance for essentials like food and shelter every month.”

 

The sad part is the Victorious Heckler will likely not read the above 2 paragraphs. She is probably busy composing another Four-Word Heckle to show how “smart” she is.

 

If she did read the 2 paragraphs, the Heckler would surely have a glib rebuttal and she would likely say something like, “6.5 ain’t much. Why that’s not even 7.”

 

When the heckler has said this, her cohorts will probably clap and jeer and laugh and they would win the day again because the person being heckled just may Fall Silent. After all, how can one effectively respond to such “brilliance”?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I don’t need to remind my dear readers that $6.5 Billion is 6 Thousand 500 Million Dollars...Or do I don’t?

I Continue To Get Ideas For Blog Postings From My Dear Readers

Before I begin, allow me to pause for this Attaboy to Myself from Myself…

I just passed over 69,000 views for Foolishness...Or Is It?!

A Big Thank You goes out to a long-time Dear Reader who sent me this idea for today’s Silliness.

 

Scenario #1...

You have Terrible Acne. You have had it since your teen-age years. All of your friends have grown out of their zits but you must not be one of your own friends because you are still in full bloom.

 

You decide you have had enough. You find a Phone Book (it wasn’t easy) and you find a Dermatologist right around the corner from where you live.

 

You are full of hope as you walk through your new Dermatologist’s office door but your hopes are dashed as soon as the door closes. There in front of you are two Medical Assistant Type People with Zits all over their faces.

 

Would you turn around and leave?

 

Scenario #2...

UPS arrives with a package for you from a long-forgotten Uncle who has died and left you $500,000 in a brown paper bag. You decide you need to have a safe place to store your new-found wealth. You need a bank!

 

You remember where there is a very confidence building looking bank because it is in a big stone building (like in the old days) not is a trailer (like in the new days).

 

You are full of hope as you walk through your new bank’s revolving front door but your hopes are dashed as soon as the door stops revolving. The Bank Guard is wearing a Ski Mask and is holding a Thompson Sub Machine Gun that would make Elliott Ness nervous. The Bank Tellers’ Name Plates read Bruiser, Butch and Sticky Fingers Vito.

 

Would you turn around and leave?

 

Scenario #3...

You are finishing up your Annual Physical with Doctor Welby and you are listening to him give you his Annual Lecture about your Excessive Weight and your High Cholesterol.

 

As he drones on, you find your mind wandering back to...

Ø The guy in the outer office you saw setting up future appointments on the computer who was sitting on two chairs duct taped together.

Ø The Little Room where you had your blood drawn and your blood pressure taken that was almost too small to fit in both you and the plus-sized nurse who attended to you.

 

It was at this point that you bit your tongue and resisted the urge to say to your doctor, “Ah, come on, buster, your waistline alone is a violation of your Hippocratic Oath!”

 

As you resist the temptation to say the above Obvious Fact to your Obviously Fat Doctor it does pass through your mind that “Hippo” is a part of “Hippocratic”.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

For 300 Years Definitely Not Resting In Peace

What gives anybody the right to treat any body like this?

On January 30^th 1661 Oliver Cromwell was "executed" more than two years after his death.

Make sure you change your will by adding the following words, “Do Not Treat My Head Like Oliver Cromwell’s Head”.

Allow me to explain…

When Oliver died in September 1658 the English people were very sad. They cried a lot & gave him a big funeral. They buried him & his head in Westminster Abby. So far so good for Oliver & his head.

In 1660 the monarchy was back on the throne. Soon after that Oliver’s body & his head were removed from the Abby. 

And now, The Rest of the Story:

• January 30, 1661…Oliver’s body was dragged thru the streets. Still wrapped in grave clothes, it was hanged. Six hours later the body was lowered from the gallows & was beheaded. This was a bad beheading. It required 6 or 8 blows by an ax. A few keepsakes were snipped off like finders, toes & an ear. The body was buried in a deep unmarked pit beneath the scaffold. Oliver’s head was paraded thru the streets. The populace hurled insults & garbage at Oliver’s head.
• Five days later Oliver’s head appeared prominently displayed atop Westminster Hall, affixed to an iron-tipped pole driven thru the crown of the skull. Oliver’s head remained there for many years.
• One night in 1685 the wind blew Oliver’s head down. A sentry put Oliver’s head beneath his cloak & took it home.

Exactly what happed to the head is not exactly cataloged but the head kept popping up at irregular times & places but its authenticity is fairly certain.

• At some point the sentry’s daughter sold Oliver’s head to a family in Cambridgeshire.
• From 1710 to 1738 Oliver’s head was in private London museum.
• At an uncertain date the Russell family acquired Oliver’s head.
• Between 1773 & 1780 Oliver’s head descended to the possession of Samuel Russell who had small museum in which Oliver’s head became the prime exhibit on the second floor.
• At one point Russell tried to sell Oliver’s head to Sidney Sussex College in Cambridge where Oliver’s whole body had been a scholar one year when he was young. The college refused to buy it. It seems they were still mad at Oliver’s head for melting their silver plate to finance his war against Charles I & for imprisoning their headmaster.
• At a date uncertain, another private museum impresario named James Cox bought Oliver’s head.
• Soon after buying Oliver’s head, Cox resold Oliver’s head to a trio of speculators for 230 pounds.
• By 1799 Oliver’s head was again on display in a Bond Street exhibit.
• In 1814 Josiah Henry Wilkinson bought Oliver’s head & used to take it to parties as a conversation piece & titillated the other guests by passing it around, iron stake & all, while giving lectures on phrenology.
• For almost a century & a half Oliver’s head stayed in the possession of the Wilkinson family. The family did begin to treat Oliver’s head with more respect.
• Oliver’s head was subjected to various antiquarian & scientific investigations:
• In 1911 Oliver’s head was exhibited before the Royal Archaeological Institute.
• In the 1930’s two “cranial detectives” studied Oliver’s head thoroughly & conclude Oliver’s head was authentic beyond all reasonable doubt.
• Oliver’s head descended into the Canon Horace Wilkinson family.
• When Canon died he bequeathed Oliver’s head to Sidney Sussex College in Cambridge. This justified Sidney Sussex College in Cambridge’s earlier decision (around 1790) not to buy Oliver’s head cuz they now got Oliver’s head for free.
• In 1960 the College gave Oliver’s head a descent burial. Since they could not find where Oliver’s body was buried beneath London’s streets, they buried it near the entrance to the College’s chapel.

The exact spot is secret to prevent any future desecrations at the hands of pranksters, collectors or Irish extremists still angry at Oliver’s head for its treatment of their ancestors at Drogheda & Wexford in 1649. I ask u, why would they think that might happen?

Source: After the Funeral by Edwin Murphy, copyright 1995.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella