People Who Put Up Signs Sometimes Confuse Me

I am a person who writes a Blog that sometimes confuses people. The people who put up signs are trying to get even with me.

The picture below was taken in Rosemary Beach, FL by The Fella. Do you see why I am confused?

I have devoted a whole bunch of thought to the No Climbing Sign in the Climbing Thingies Park. Here is what I have come up with...

• Have you noticed, as I have noticed, that these Climbing Parks are often empty?
• More often than not, when they are not empty, they are being used by very young children.
• The very young are in there because they have not yet learned to read.
• Once the little kiddies learn to read, they understand that they are prohibited from going in and having fun.

Congress ought to do something about this situation and, since they are all caught up with their Post Office Naming Responsibilities, I pray they are about to jump all over this one.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(184)

Newton's First Law Is, “An Object At Rest Tends To Stay At Rest” ... The 21st Century’s Finest Example Of Newton’s First Law Is A Member Of Congress

Members of Congress begin to take their Membership in Congress for granted after about 7 weeks. A fine example of the Smartfella’s Law of Inertia follows…

Congressional Record
111th Congress (2009-2010)

Congressional Record article 11 of 354

CONGRATULATING SENATOR ROBERT C. BYRD -- (Senate - November 18, 2009)

Mr. ALEXANDER. Mr. President, I am glad I had the opportunity to hear the comments of the Senator from Iowa on Senator Byrd. We all have enormous respect for Senator Byrd. I had a chance this morning to say a word about him and to reflect on, among other things, that when I first came here as a young aide 42 years ago to Senator Baker, Senator Byrd had already been here for 10 years as a Senator.

Did you pay attention to what you just read? Did you take note that the 42 Year Guy said “42 Years Ago” & “had already been here for 10 years as a Senator” before the 42 Year Guy first entered the building?

The English Language was never used any better in the history of the British Parliament as when Leo Amery addressed Prime Minister Chamberlain & his Cohorts in 1940...

“You have sat too long here for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!”

Leo Amery in 1940 was almost exactly quoting Oliver Cromwell from 1653.

I wish someone would deliver an almost exact quote patterned after Messrs. Amery and Cromwell’s words to our current Congress.

The sad part is there isn’t a chance in hell our Current Congress would do as requested because 1% of the average American is a Millionaire but just over 50% of Members of Congress are Millionaires.

I tried to Google how many of them were already millionaires before they were elected but could not find out that bit of information.

What? You think I made the above “The sad part...” paragraph up? How could you think that of me? Click this link... http://billmoyers.com/2014/01/10/washington%E2%80%99s-millionaire-boyz-club/

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(374)

Staring Is A Thing Of The Past

Staring is definitely a lost art. There was a time when we all used to stare and think nothing of it. I am sorry to say we don’t know how to stare any longer.

Back in the old days a person would go into a doctor office, a dentist office or a bank and sit down and stared while waiting to be seen. A lot of the world’s bright ideas and significant life changing plans of action occurred while we did nothing but stare...

• Beethoven was riding on a horse drawn trolley when it dawned on him that four symphonies were not enough.
• General Eisenhower was sitting in the dentist office when he came up with the idea that Normandy was the place for the Normandy Invasion.
• Alexander the Great, who had always had a feeling that he was a bit cramped, decided that Macedonia needed to be expanded to India.
• Doctor Jonas Salk, who had been working on a cure for Homesickness, was sipping a cappuccino and staring at the wall in front of him in the Higher Grounds Coffee Shop when it dawned on him that a cure for Polio just might a better path to travel.

Ah yes, the world was doing OK and making slow but steady progress up and until the point where Steve Jobs introduced his new gadget.

The invention of the Smartphone changed everything. Now we sit and immediately take out our modern pocket electronic wonder toys and...

• We surf the net for earth shaking information or miscellaneous trivia.
• We shop for significant purchases or for things we don’t need (it boggles the mind to contemplate how many more pairs of shoes Imelda Marcos could have owned if the Internet had been invented).
• Sometimes we just poke at it to see where it will take us.

This Blog Posting has now progressed to the point where the Smartfella would probably peck out, “That’s Progress”. If he did, he would probably have a little more pecking left in him and he would go on to peck... “Or is it?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(366)

Winston Churchill Would Never Have Been Politically Corrected... Or Would He Have Been?

If Winston Churchill were still with us, do you think he would be forced to be Politically Correct? My first impulse would be to say that that would never happen but the forces of Political Correctness are very powerful. If he had been forced to do back then as we do today it would probably have looked like this.

Winston Churchill's Actual Directive to General Alexander Commander-in-Chief in the Middle East in August 1942...

1. Your prime and main duty will be to take or destroy at the earliest opportunity the German-Italian Army commanded by Field Marshal Rommel together with all its supplies and establishments in Egypt and Libya.

2. You will discharge or cause to be discharged such other duties as pertain to your command without prejudice to the task described at paragraph 1 which must be considered paramount in His Majesty’s interests.

Pretty straight forward and to the point, don’t you think?

Winston Churchill’s Politically Correct Directive to General Alexander Commander-in-Chief in the Middle East in 2014...

1. Your prime and main duty will be to take or destroy at the earliest opportunity all terrorist organizations throughout the Middle Eat commanded by al Qaeda, ISIS and any such other organization who’s intent is to do us harm together with all their supplies and establishments wherever they are located.

2. You will discharge or cause to be discharged such other duties as pertain to your command without prejudice to the task described in paragraph 1 above which must be considered paramount in Her Majesty’s interests.

3. Foremost you should remember that it is of paramount importance you must not make anyone mad at us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(294)

Bob Gates May Be Well Respected By Both The Right & The Left But His Parents Are In Deep Trouble

Kindle Location 281 of 11052 in former Secretary of Defense Bob Gates’ Book, “Duty”...
“I was a smart aleck, and when I sassed my mother, a backhand slap across the face was likely to follow quickly if my father was within earshot. My mother was expert at cutting a willow switch to use across the back of my bare legs when I misbehaved. The worst punishments were for lying. On those relatively infrequent occasions when I was disciplined, I’m confident I deserved it, though I felt deeply persecuted at the time. But their expectations and discipline taught me about consequence and taking responsibility for my actions.”
Today Secretary Gates’ Mother and Father would be in deep trouble once Little Bob’s Pediatric Lawyer reported their actions to the Authorities.
I can just hear the Presiding Judge admonishing them in open court, “It is not proper to Slap or Switch any child in this day and age in the Good Ole USofA but certainly not a Little Secretary of Defense”.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
(209)
Lagniappe: Did he say she used a Willow Switch? Don’t let Adrian Peterson see this.

Deciding Who To Vote For Is Easy… Or Is It?

Six of the reasons why people do not vote…

1. It was raining on voting day.

2. It was hot on voting day.

3. It was cold on voting day.

4. I don’t know the candidates.

5. The candidates don’t know me.

6. It is too confusing.

I am here to help you with #4 & #6 excuses above. It is really easy to get to know the candidates and to understand the issues. Go to your local newspaper and find an article that compares the candidates, make notes, study the notes and then you will become A Well Informed Voter.

Here is what my local research told me about our upcoming race for Governor.

One side Said…

• Georgia has the highest unemployment rate — at 7.8 percent — of any state in the union apart from Mississippi.
• 370,000 Georgians are looking for work right now.
• There were 12,800 fewer jobs in July than in June.
• These job losses are indicative of a negative trend.
• We are reaping what we’ve sown on the state level.
• Georgia has not fully recovered from the Recession.
• Georgia is falling behind other states

The Other Side Said…

• Georgia has had a strong record on job creation and has become the No. 1 place in the nation in which to do business.
• The unemployment rate has gone down every year that our guy has been in office.
• More than 273,000 jobs have been created in the state since our guy took office.
• In raw numbers of jobs created, we’re No. 6 in the nation since our guy took over the helm.
• Per capita, we’re in the top third in the nation.
• The recent increase in the unemployment rate is typical for the summer in Georgia and is due in large part to the fact many school system employees do not get paid over 12 months as they do in other states.
• Our unemployment rate is inflated because our labor pool continues to grow whereas in some other states it’s stagnating or declining.
• People are moving to Georgia because they know it’s a place for economic opportunity.

See, I told you it was easy. Just figure out which one is lying and vote for the other guy.

Do you think I made this up? Check me out… http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/news/2014/aug/20/political-notebook-carter-deal-put-different-spin/

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(524)

Lagniappe: I’ve touched on Staying Home On Voting Day Cuz It’s Raining before (#1 above)...

Let your mind wander with mine for a moment and see if you can hear one of George Washington’s confidants say the following…

By golly, General Washington, don’t feel bad. It really looked like it was going to rain. Yikes, ye ole weatherman had forecasted it was going to be a real frog strangler at Yorktown last week. What else could you have done but stay home and wait for the next time that the British would be trapped like they would have been trapped if only ye old weatherman had not given you such bad advice? Cheer up, old boy. You will get them next time for sure!

Federal Laws We Do Not Know Anything About

I have commented at least twice before about there being too many laws out there.

Did I just hear you say to yourself, “Comment? This guy does not comment on anything. He rants!” I am extremely disappointed about your thinking this way about my “wisdom” but I am going to peck on as if you had not said what you just said to yourself because this is my calling.

You might think differently about there being too many laws if you had already been aware of these three laws...

• You are prohibited by H.R. 1762 Part 234 Subsection 17(c) to become aware of or even to notice that your Congress is lying to you.
• As you watch the Nightly News you are prohibited by S. 37862 Part 719 Subsection 47(d) to notice that the Breaking News Alert you are watching on TV which is making your blood pressure rise to dangerously high levels is the same Breaking News Alert that last night made your blood pressure rise to dangerously high levels.
• As required by H.R. 2589 Part 77 Section 259 Subsection445 you are not allowed to Laugh, Snicker or even Notice whenever a member of Congress is caught unable to remember the state he was elected from all those many years ago. A clue that he can’t remember the state he represents is when he says “The Folks Back Home” without mentioning where “Back Home” is. Think about how many times you have heard one of them say, “The Folks Back Home”.

If You Think You Can Just Ignore What They Do And They Will Leave You Alone, Think About This... After having worked hard all your life and saving your money in order to have a somewhat comfortable retirement by living off the interest on your hard earned savings, you are required to just scratch your head in wonderment about what you did wrong because you are getting .02% on your savings because Congress Can’t Stop Spending Money Trying To Buy Your Vote (it’s working) so the Federal Reserve (whatever that is) feels required to dictate that you ought to get doodle squat on your savings and mandate that your banker look you straight into your I-Can’t-Believe-Believe-What-I-Am-Hearing-Eyes and not laugh as he tells you that you are going to get .02% on your hard earned life saving. (Yes I know the prior sentence is too long but it is cuz it ought to be).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(484)

Lagniappe: Ask a farmer who owns a herd of cows what the bull is doing to the cows when the bull has intercourse with the cow and he will tell you the bull is “Servicing the Cow”.

Now you know what Congress means when they say they have been serving the citizens of the Good Ole USofA for more than 227 years.

This Is Not A Slap At Canada... Or Is It?

It pains me to poke fun at the Canadian Parliament because they appear to be doing a lot more right than our Congress but what I am commenting on in this posting did happen in Canada.

Here is what my newspaper told me...

“Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko received a rapturous welcome usually reserved for sports stars from Canadian lawmakers on Wednesday as he thanked the country for helping save lives in the battle with Russian-speaking rebels.”

Did you see what caught my eye? Yes, of course you did. It was “Sports Stars”. These snow birds reserve their Rapturous Welcomes for Sports Stars? They don’t reserve it for Brilliant Scientists? They don’t jump up for genuine Military Heroes? They don’t feel a thrill running down their legs for the Teacher of the Year? That’s awful!

Actually I had one of my people sequestered in the Canadian Parliament recently when the Prime Minister introduced an Astronaut Nuclear Physicist who had just discovered a cure for 12 Different Kinds of Childhood Cancer. Here is what my guy overheard the lawmakers around him saying to each other...

• What team does that guy play for?
• Is that the celebrity who just had that affair with that other celebrity with the cute dimples while she was high on drugs when she decided to cheat on her husband and was quoted as saying to the police as she was escorted into the paddy wagon, “This will show him what he is messing with when he messes with me”?
• Why does the Prime Minister bring these guys in for us to stand and make as if we know who they are right before happy hour? (Comments like this take place in our U.S. Congress but the difference there is they start saying such things at 10:30 in the morning.)

Ah yes, it certainly looks to me like there is as much Silliness in the Canadian Parliament as there is in the hallowed halls of our own Congress.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(348)

A Good Man ... Even When No One Is Looking

I did not write the 160 words in bold below. They were written by a Curt Yeomans and they appeared in the Gwinnett Daily Post on page 8A on September 10, 2014...

“Carl Rhodenizer can still remember the morning he went to see Chick-fil-A founder Truett Cathy about funding the establishment of a shelter for abandoned children in Clayton County.

It was the 1980s and children were being abandoned at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. Rhodenizer was seeking funding to buy a place where the children could be brought and cared for. He went to a county commissioner, but was told to come back when he had some funding lined up from the public.

So he went to the Chick-fil-A headquarters to see Cathy, whom he’d known since the early 1950s. The pair had lunch and talked for a while in Cathy’s office.

“He finally said ‘Now Carl, what do you need?’ and I told him what the commissioner had told me,” said Rhodenizer. “He was familiar with the situation at the airport and I asked him if he’d help us, and he said ‘Yes I will. Now how much do you need?”

Mr. Cathy did not say...

• What’s in it for me?
• I’ll have to check with my lawyers.
• I’ll get back to you.

He simply said, “Yes I will. How much do you need?”

Above is the story about how Rainbow House got its first $100,000 while no one was looking.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(311)

Lagniappe:

Samuel Truett Cathy March 14, 1921 – September 8, 2014

It is truly a shame that we know more about the Celebrity involved in he Celebrity of the Day Scandal than we know about this caring and giving man. Please, take a few moments to read about Mr. Cathy... Click Here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S._Truett_Cathy

A Voice Crying In The Wilderness ... Me

In 1967 Strother Martin told Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke, "What we've got here is failure to communicate"... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2f-MZ2HRHQ

My newspaper just told me who are the current highest paid TV Actresses ($37 Million, $13 Million, $11 Million). I’m so pleased for them. I just know they are doing great things for Humankind with all their hard earned money.

Did you just ask yourself what this has to do with Me Crying In The Wilderness? It’s simple. I am crying, “Who are these people?” I have never heard their names uttered in my entire life!

Yes I know they have never heard my name uttered in their entire lives either. Going forward they are never going to hear my name uttered in their entire lives since it is against Federal Law for them to know who I am because they are important and I’m not.

Still I am confused as to why they are not known to me. I pay attention. What am I doing wrong?

Is it because I don’t do FaceBook? Is it because I don’t Tweet my innermost everything to everybody? Who would have ever thought that I, an internationally known Blogger who is being read on 6 of 7 continents, would be Electronically Challenged?

I guess I am just going to have to stay out here In The Wilderness because I insist I am not going to be swept into FaceBook & Twitter.

Simply stated I do not want the world to know what I had for lunch!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(267)

Domestically Awful

The word Domestic according to Random House Webster’s College Dictionary...

• Of or pertaining to the home, family or household.
• Devoted to home life.
• Tame.
• Domesticated.

As you can see above the Dictionary says, in no uncertain terms, that Domestic is a nice word... Or is it?

This is an example of how the Dictionary is leading us astray because here is what the nightly news tells us is the true modern day meaning of Domestic...

• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
• Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
• Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

There were four more bullet points that I left off this list which continued to tell us how awful Domestic is but enough is enough.

If someone comes up to you and says, “I’m going to domesticate you”, you better try and get them to go domesticate someone else.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(242)

Lagniappe: Speaking of Domestic Violence how would you like to have $1 for every time our crack news media said “Ray Rice” since Tuesday?

This Is Yesterday’s Foolishness...Or Is It?

I have been remiss. I should have sent this Blog Posting as soon as I saw it in yesterday’s newspaper. Please forgive me.

On Sunday I published the silliness about the “Cease Fire” in The Ukraine... http://forii.blogspot.com/2014/09/glory-be-land-goshen-thank-heaven-cease.html

Then Monday I read the follow-up article that tries to reassure us that the “Cease Fire” is holding. Holding means, there is No Fighting Going On Anywhere... Or does it?

Actually what we are told is, “Kiev and the Kremlin said a cease-fire pact between pro-Russia rebels and Ukraine still held despite fighting in at least two cities in east Ukraine”

Would you like to analyze these words with the Smartfella?...

• The cease-fire is holding but there is still fighting.
• If the cease-fire were holding would that not necessitate there be no fighting?

As those shouting at us As Seen on TV Commercials say to us every day, “But wait! There’s more!”...

In the statement above we are told, “Despite fighting in at least two cities”. Do you not think “at least two cities” is pretty open ended? Three cities are more than at least two cities and so five cities or nine cities.

Guess we will have to wait for further breaking news to find out if it is two+ or five or nine or...?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(227)

Glory Be! Land A Goshen! Thank Heaven! … The Cease Fire Is Holding!

My newspaper is all excited this morning because the Cease Fire in The Ukraine is holding.

My newspaper does not get a chance to see good news inside itself very often so I will not burst its bubble of happiness but I will tell you...

The Cease Fire Is Holding Because The Warring Factions Have Gone Back To Get More Bombs, Guns, Ammunition, Sticks & Stones.

I wish I were but I’m not kidding u.

Smartfella

(90)

He Is A Cultural Icon & I’m Not But I Am & He’s Not

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about Cultural Icon...

A cultural icon can be a symbol, logo, picture, name, face, person, building or other image. It is easily recognized and generally represents an object or idea with great cultural significance to a wide cultural group. It has a special status as representing, or important to, or loved by, a particular group of people, a place, or a period in history.

In this Foolishness...Or Is It? I will address Cultural Icon Persons. They influence us. We want to be like them. They are inspirational... Or are they?

Need some examples about what it is that I am talking about? Here are a few... Marlon Brando, Arthur Conan Doyle, Francis Ford Coppola, Dalai Lama, Walt Disney, William Faulkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mahatma Gandhi, Stephen Hawking, Ernest Hemingway, Alfred Hitchcock, Vladimir Horowitz, Steve Jobs, Luciano Pavarotti, Mr. Rogers, Peter Sellers, William Shakespeare, Spiderman, Mark Twain, Orson Welles

Did you object to any of these Cultural Icons? If you did, that’s understandable. We are all entitled to our own stupid opinion.

In my own stupid opinion, one of these ought to have jumped off the screen at you. Did you just say you experienced no jumping? Did you not see, take note of and wonder why a Fictional Comic Book Character was in the list. Did you not cringe when you saw Spiderman there? If not, I am disappointed in you.

As I was kicking this Blog Posting around in my head, I happened across a young Spiderman devotee and decided to ask him about my thoughts about this Blog Posting I had simmering within me.

When I found him he was standing facing into bright sunlight in his Spiderman Costume with his baseball cap on backwards and holding his hand up to his forehead to shade his eyes so he could better see into the bright sunlight. I knew immediately I was in the presence of a mental midget.

When I brought up the subject of Spiderman being on my Cultural Icon List, he readily agreed that Spiderman belonged there and he added he thought Spiderman was probably the most iconic of the icons.

He said he admired the way Spiderman could shoot out his sticky web strings and latch onto buildings, planes, busses, and evil villains. He said one day he hoped to do the same heroic feats of strength and agility just like Spiderman.

Have you ever been looked at like you were a Complete Idiot? Well, this was my turn to be looked at this way because I told him Spiderman could not do what Spiderman does because Spiderman was a Fictional Comic Book Character and he did not exist.

That’s when it happened. That’s when he looked at me in disbelief, then shock and horror, then disgust and turned and walked away from me shaking his head surely thinking to himself that I was a Complete Idiot.

Despite that fact that some of you did not catch the presence of Spiderman on this Cultural Icon List, I do respect your opinions because you are smart enough to read my blog. Please tell me that I am right about all of this. I’m surrounded by so many who worship fictional characters and celebrities that I am beginning to doubt myself. Could it be that I am wrong?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(640)

Lagniappe: In order to prove my point, please read the article through the link below about the two 12 year old girls in Milwaukee who stabbed another 12 year old girl friend of theirs 19 times in order to impress Slenderman. You guessed it. Slenderman is a Tall Creepy Fictional Bogeyman whom they believe is real and who they greatly admire...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-wisconsin-slenderman-stabbing-20140903-story.html

Congratulate Me!

It has taken me many years but I am now approaching a milestone in my trek through Silliness. I have just under 33,000 (it has taken me years to get to this number) views on my gift to the world, Foolishness...Or Is It? I am so pleased!

I don’t know how he got into my computer room but Justin Bieber just appeared behind me and mocked my accomplishments as a mere molehill when compared to the adoration he receives.

He seemed to be enjoying himself as he knocked me down to size. He said he is followed on Twitter by just under 99,000 each day.

I really felt insignificant. I felt so inadequate. My life and all my efforts are apparently for naught. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy my misery as he looked down on me (he was hovering 2 feet off the floor).

I took some solace in thinking that my dear readers are enlightened by my attempts to educate and entertain them... Or are they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(209)

Lagniappe: Feel free to add a comment to this Foolishness...Or Is It? & enlighten me & my meager number of followers as to how Justin Beiber’s followers benefit by electronically trekking along behind him.

Mother Nature Is Not Really That Good At What She Does

Before Personkind (formerly known as Mankind) took over the responsibility of killing off various animal species on Planet Earth, Mother Nature had that job. Depending on how you look at it, she was very good at eliminating or very bad at preserving Earth’s Creatures.

“It’s astounding that we don’t know the most basic thing about life,” said Boris Worm, who is a marine biologist at Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia. (Is it not neat that a doctor involved in this kind of work is named, “Worm”?)

Recently, Dr. Worm and a Dr. Mora and their colleagues, based on a new method they have developed, presented the latest estimate of how many species there are. They estimated there are 8.7 million species on the planet, plus or minus 1.3 million.

I understand, “give or take a few” or “plus or minus a couple” but I never thought I would read the phrase, “plus or minus 1.3 million”. That’s a margin of error of 2.6 million.

I can just hear an Expert Really Smart Ph.D’ed Witness testifying, “What I am telling you is absolute fact but, of course, there is a distinct possibility that I am off by 2.6 million”.

Kick this around in your brain...

• Dr. Worm and Company say over 98% of documented species are now extinct.
• Dr. Worm and Company say that in the past 540 million years there have been five major events when over 50% of animal species died.

The Smartfella has this to say about all of this...

The Subject of this blog posting is wrong, if Mother Nature’s job is to eliminate species because she is eliminating them right and left.

The Subject of this blog posting is right, if Mother Nature’s job is to preserve species because she is eliminating them right and left.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(319)

It’s Your Turn To Do The Research

I’ve decided that I am too good to you and it is now your turn to start pulling your own weight. This all means I am not going to do a lot of research to gather examples to prove my point in this blog posting.

Did I just hear you ask yourself, “What the heck is he talking about?” As politicians say in news conferences, “That’s an excellent question”. The difference between them and me is I mean it and they don’t.

My stated position that starts your research is...

Politicians Lie

Here is when you get the chance to do the research and here is how you go about it. Find a candidate running for office who currently holds another office (i.e.: Congressman running for Senator)...

• Look at his past voting record in his current office.
• Compare what he says he was going to do if elected to his new position.
• Look at what he actually does after he gets into his new office.

Here is what’s going to be the outcome of the research I did not do but you did do...

• His past voting record in his old office is who he really is because he knows we are not paying attention.
• What he says he is going to do if elected to the new office he is running for is the result of what his Research Team tells him you want him to say he would do if elected to his new office.
• What he does after he is elected to his new office is who he really is because he knows we are not paying attention.

Politicians Lie

Solution... We ought to start paying attention.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(299)

What Else Can We Do To Dead People?

Thanks to Tom Hanks we all know that Dead Men Can Walk.

The other day I was watching a very long commercial for the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast (back when a Celebrity was a Celebrity). Right in the middle of the sales pitch a disclaimer had been inserted by lawyers that tried to prevent the bunch of Dead People on the Celebrity Roast Show from being sued.

Almost every one of the Stars (back when a star was a star) on the show are now dead. Many of their jokes are now forbidden because of Political Correctness. Back then we used to laugh at such jokes but now we are afraid to even give any indication that we heard what we just heard.

Some might say we are laughing on the inside but I’m not so sure that we are brave enough to even do that.

Here is the Lawyer Speak that I heard...

Some of the humor on this show may be Insulting to Women and such humor is hereby designated by all persons related to the production and distribution of these videos as improper and it should not be inferred by anyone the any person involved in the production and distribution of these videos condones any such insulting attempts at Women Denigration Humor.

OK, I admit I may have embellished their disclaimer a bit but you get my drift... You do, don’t you?

Refer back to the Subject of this Blog Posting, What Else Can We Do To Dead People?

It is apparent that the Celebrity Roast Production & Distribution Crowd thinks it is possible to sue dead people and they are trying to wash their hands of them and all their Used-To-Be-Funny Crudeness.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(300)

I’m Always Teaching You. Now It’s Your Turn To Teach Me

I am confused and you know I do not like to be this way. It pleases me to know that each of my Dear Readers would do anything for me. Now is your chance to help me out.

I was in my local grocery store looking at the plethora of selections in what I call the Chrystal Light Section. There I discovered something that made me say to myself, “Self, what the heck does that mean?”

All products offered in this section now have the following phrase printed on them...

Natural Flavor With Other Natural Flavor

I am fairly confident that out Federal Government is behind this confusion. Someone in Washington DC thinks this is important but the question is, why does he think this is important?

OK, it’s your turn to teach me. If you can help me out please reply to this Blog Posting with a Comment.

Commenting is easy and you can do it Anonymously, if you don’t want the Foolishness...Or Is It? tiny corner of the world to know how smart you are.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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If It Makes Sense, It Makes Sense

Proctor & Gamble is the world's largest consumer products company but it wants to get smaller. It is in the process of culling as many as 100 brands from the 180 or so product offerings it currently has. The products that will or will not be cut are important decisions going forward for the economic well being of P&G.

This is a shocker. They are actually considering dropping Ivory Soap. Ivory Soap is one of its most iconic products and could very well demonstrate how far P&G is willing to go in its house cleaning campaign.

Ivory's annual sales amount to a whopping $112 million. It turns out that this is a small whopping because $112 million is a fraction of PNG's $83 billion total annual sales.

P&G hasn't said for certain which brands it will shed but those kept will be the ones with leading market positions in what P&G considers attractive product categories and that’s why Iconic Ivory is in danger of going away forever.

Many of us were raised with Ivory Soap floating around in our bathtubs. We don’ use it any more but for people my age it is part of us. We need Ivory to be out there. Is no one at P&G taking into consideration how we feel?

The Smartfella is here to come to the aid of Ivory. I think that P&G ought to use the Good Ole USofA’s time tested and proven way of culling any organization. Why mess with success? I am, of course, referring to way Unions have advocated paring down organizations for more than 100 years... Seniority.

That’s right, they obviously ought to get rid of their newest products offerings and keep the oldest ones. It is the only way to go.

I don’t know why big corporations don’t save a lot of time and just come to me for these big decisions. I would not charge much... Or would I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Lagniappe: They don’t call me The Smartfella for nothing, or should that be, I don’t call me The Smartfella for nothing?