Saturday, May 31, 2025

A Football Emergency Has Been Declared By The National Football League

It seems like only yesterday that the NFL was flying high as a kite. Now they are in imminent danger of going out of business. Did you just say to yourself, "Self, how could this have happened so quickly?" 

It's very simple. The NFL must have Football Players to play Football and they are fast running out of Football Players.

Am I going too fast for you? OK, I'll slow down...

  • In the past, 99% of the NFL Football Players came from College Football.
  • A few years ago, College Football started to change.
  • Some people who wanted to make a lot of money started agitating that it was not fair that College Football Players had to practice a lot and really work hard all through their College Careers and all they got was...
    >Free college education.
    >All the free food they could eat.
    >Free accommodations that rivaled the kind of palaces that middle-east Oligarch hang around in. 
    >Beautiful coeds hanging all over them.
    >Lots of mystery money and really nice cars (even though they had no salary).
    >Had to go to a class every so often.

Before we football fans knew what was going on, all that changed...

  • It was decided that College Football Players were entitled to make money off of their Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL).
  • Since the NCAA approved NIL rules in 2021, athletes have secured agreements with brands, enabling them to monetize their popularity and skill. (Sometimes called their "Personal Brands".)
  • Next thing we knew, all rules about transferring schools and tampering with another schools recruited players had been thrown out the window.
  • During College Games we began hearing the commentators saying things like, "Bruiser has been to 4 schools during his 3 years in College"
  • We started hearing College Players saying to each other, "What's that song they are singing?" Response: "That's your school's Alma Mater." Response back, "What's an Alma Mater?"

This is near the bottom of this Blog Posting, so here is the Bottom Line...

The NFL is going out of business because it is running out of Football Players coming out of College because the Football Player are retiring rather than go to the NFL because they have all the money they will ever need.


Bruiser said it best: "Why should I go into the NFL? Someone might knock me down and give me a Back Wallet Contusion".


I'll save you having to Google "Back Wallet Contusion"...

A Back Wallet Contusion happens when a person with a very thick wallet falls down, lands on his wallet and causes his Spinal Column to go out of alignment.


In case you are wondering, now that College Football Player are so rich, will they have to pay for their College Educations? The answer is No.


One final point. That last Bullet Point at the top of this Blog Posting that says, "Had to go to a class every so often"...That requirement has been scratched. 


Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Lagniappe: During a future College Football Trial on something or other, the Sitting and Listening Attorney hears the Pontificating Attorney say something that confuses him, so he says to his Minion Backup Attorney... What was that word he just used? Quick! Google, "unethical"! And while you are Googling, look up, "School Spirit", "Loyalty" and ''Alma Mater"!


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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The only solution is to immediately implement a very aggressive Diversity, Equity and Inclusion initiative into the NFL recruiting process. Until this happens one legged punters will continue to be marginalized by the current evaluation processes🤗🤗!

Anonymous said...

Interesting article.