Be Glad You Don’t Need The Money

 I had to call the Social Security Administration today...

If you need to contact the Social Security Administration, but you don’t need the money, Furgedaboutit because it ain’t worth it!

Calling the SSA is a mind-boggling exercise in You Won’t Believe. Here are 3 examples of what I mean from today’s call...

• The Hello Computer Recording will say things like this to you...If you are calling about a Disability Claim, you should understand that, because of COVID-19, Disability Claims take 200 to 230 Days To Process.
• The Hello Computer Recording will say things like this to you...If you do not want to remain on hold, we will call you back. At present the Hold Time is More Than 360 Minutes, because of COVID-19. (For those of you who do not have 360 fingers or a calculator, that’s 6 Hours Plus.)
• If you decide to remain on hold, you are in for a horrible listening experience because you will be subjected to Horrible Music. (Actually, if you had to listen to Beethoven’s Ode To Joy for 360 minutes Plus, you would learn to hate Beethoven also.)

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Considering how many numbers there are above 360 (da Plus part), they may never call you back. If you decided to complain, their Complain Department Manager will smugly say to you, “It has only been 17 days since we committed to call you back within 360 minutes Plus, therefore, we are still within the Federal Plus Parameter, ergo, we are in compliance with Established Federal Persecution Guidelines”.

Lagniappe Another: If you call about your Disability Claim after you have waited for 231 days, be prepared to hear this, "What Disability Claim? We lost it, because of COVID-19. You will have to resubmit and you should understand, because of COVID-19, the processing time is now 276 days, because of COVID-19".