Don’t Look Back Because Your Back Might Be Back There and That May Be Major Problems for You

 

Here are the things my chiropractor warned me about. Can’t believe I recorded all of this? I've got nothing else to do...

In about 2003 I was on the ground in my back yard chipping dead branches off of a low tree I had recently transplanted and then I stood up. That was all it took to throw my back out, as they say.

For the next 5 days I did as directed by whoever was the last person I discussed my back situation with:

Ø Put cold on it.

Ø Then I changed to putting heat on it.

Ø Then I changed to putting cold on it.

Ø Then I lay on the floor a lot.

Ø Then I changed to putting heat on it.

Ø Then I lay on the floor and arched my back a lot.

Ø Then I changed to putting cold on it again.

Ø Then I sat on frozen peas.

Ø Then I repeated all of the above.

After 5 days it felt better. I went to play in the Golden Senior Olympics Doubles Tournament. We rolled along singing a song for 12 games. We were headed for a gold medal. I glided up to the service line and reached for a simple back hand shot and my back exploded in two violent shocks and I was on my hands and knees moaning (my partner said my whole body was quivering). I was done for the day and for weeks thereafter. Guess it was not much of a tournament because after only playing 12 games we had won enough games to get a Bronze Medal.

My daughter talked me into going to a Chiropractor. I have always thought of Chiropractors as kooks. I still may but this Chiropractor has helped me. I have a reoccurring problem but it is under control and I am back on the tennis court.

I'm doing quite well. I sit on peas a lot.

************

My Chiropractor gave me a lot of advice. I am going to now pass this advice onto each of you. This is another demonstration of how nice a guy I am.

Chiropractic-Don't Do's To Protect You from Your Back

Ø Tension is bad. If something terrible happens and you get really sad, your back could attack you

Ø Tension is bad. Good tension is also bad. If something great happens and you get really happy, your back could attack you.

Ø The Vacuum Cleaner is bad. It should be moved by walking forward and backward but not by bending your back to and fro. If you move to and fro using your back to do the toing and froing, your back could attack you.

Ø If you are in a squat down position and you reach forward and you then stand up, your back could attack you.

Ø If when you get up from a squat down position you don't look up as far as your neck will allow you to look up, your back could attack you.

Ø If when you sit in a chair, you do not do it with your back straight, on the edge of the chair and then slide into the chair, your back could attack you.

Ø If when you get up out of a chair you don't slide forward to the edge and stand up with your eyes looking at the far wall/horizon with your back straight, your back could attack you.

Ø If you use artificial sweeteners of any kind, your back could attack you.

Ø If you intake caffeine, your back could attack you.

Ø If you intake certain kinds of tea, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't hydrate your body by drinking lots of fluids the day of exercise but especially the day before exercise, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't hydrate your body everyday by drinking lots of fluids, your back could attack you.

Ø If you sleep on your side without placing your knees one on top of the other, your back could attack you.

Ø If you twist around in your car to get something out of the back seat, your back could attack you.

Ø If you lay on the floor to watch an NBA Basketball Game with your legs fully extended, your back could attack you.

Ø If you reach too far when cleaning your windshield with a squeegee, your back could attack you.

Ø If you drink straight Gatorade, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't put cold on your injured back (she recommends using a 5 pound bag of Wal-Mart Frozen Peas to put the cold where the cold should be put), your back could attack you.

Ø If you put heat on your injured back too often, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't put one foot on something so it is higher than the other when you bend over the sink to rinse your face, your back could attack you.

Ø If you are standing up straight, you should have one foot in front of the other. If you don't have one foot in front of the other, your back could attack you.

So you see, if you have a bad back, everything you have been doing your whole life has been bad for your back. If you had just stayed in your baby crib and lay on your side with your knees one-on-top of the other until you went away to college, your back would not have attacked you.

Taking care of your peas.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: This comment came from a Vietnam buddy...

BTW, how the hell could those little lumps (frozen peas) help your back ???? Tee hee. I'm not sure if this was a serious question but I'll answer it anyway. She believes in putting COLD on the problem. The peas mold to the back and 5 pounds covers a wide enough area. Of course, you have to keep working at the peas to keep them from becoming one big frozen lump cuz you keep taking them in and out of the freezer. This means that when you take them out of the freezer you sometimes pound on 'em with your fist OR put 'em on the floor and walk and stomp all over them. You have to be careful doing this cuz, since it is 5 pounds high, you could fall off of the peas and hurt your back. 

 

Do What I Tell You To Do Now. The Consequences Of Doing What I Tell You To Do Now Will Be Addressed Later. Trust Me.

 

I did not write this...

Warning About ‘Environmental Danger’ of Solar Transition: LA Times

The LA Times published a report Thursday detailing the “environmental danger” of expired solar panels on the environment.

“California has been a pioneer in pushing for rooftop solar power, building up the largest solar market in the U.S.,” the article began. “More than 20 years and 1.3 million rooftops later, the bill is coming due.”

The Times’ Rachel Kisela reported that many solar panels that were purchased beginning in 2006, when the California government “showered subsidies on homeowners” to inspire a transition away from fossil fuels, are now reaching the end of their lifespan.

“Beginning in 2006, the state, focused on how to incentivize people to take up solar power, showered subsidies on homeowners who installed photovoltaic panels but had no comprehensive plan to dispose of them. Now, panels purchased under those programs are nearing the end of their 25-year lifecycle,” Kisela reported.

The problem is, when solar panels end up in landfills, “components that contain toxic heavy metals such as selenium and cadmium can contaminate groundwater.”

This is an example of how environmental policies can have unintended consequences. “The looming challenge over how to handle truckloads of contaminated waste illustrates how cutting-edge environmental policy can create unforeseen hazards down the road,” she said.

The Times reported that “as California barreled ahead on its renewable-energy program, focusing on rebates and — more recently — a proposed solar tax, questions about how to handle the toxic waste that would accrue years later were never fully addressed.”

“Now, both regulators and panel manufacturers are realizing that they don’t have the capacity to handle what comes next,” she continued.

Toxic waste from solar panels is not just a Californian problem, but a problem nationwide. “About 140,000 panels are installed every day in the United States, and the solar industry is expected to quadruple in size between 2020 and 2030,” Kisela said.

But there are difficulties surrounding disposal of solar panels, “Recycling solar panels isn’t a simple process. Highly specialized equipment and workers are needed to separate the aluminum frame and junction box from the panel without shattering it into glass shards.”

“Specialized furnaces are used to heat panels to recover silicon. In most states, panels are classified as hazardous materials, which require expensive restrictions on packaging, transport and storage,” she continued.

“A lack of consumer awareness about the toxicity of materials in the panels and how to dispose of them is part of the problem,” Kisela wrote.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Dutch Are On The Verge Of Approving Work At Home As A Legal Right

The Dutch House has passed a bill to make Work at Home a Legal Right in the Netherlands. The Dutch Senate has yet to concur in what the Dutch House has passed but it appears to only be a matter of time before the Senate follows suit.

There are many other articles being published that are speculating that, if the Dutch do make Work at Home a Legal Right, the rest of Europe, Canada and others will follow.

Yesterday I put on my Potted Plant Outfit and slithered around a major local corporation and overheard this phone conversation. (Yea, I do have the ability to hear the person on the other end of the line even when that person is not on speaker phone.)

Sad Work at Home Employee: “No one cares about me”.

Concerned Human Resources Manager: “I have been told you were feeling this way. That’s why I called you to see if there is anything I can do to alleviate your distress”.

Sad Work at Home Employee: “I have no day to day in person contact with my best friend any longer. I tweeted him and tweeted back saying he felt the same way. We miss each other’s camaraderie greatly!”

Concerned Human Resources Manager: “Please tell me more. I need to feel your pain.”

Sad Work at Home Employee: “You know I just don’t feel connected to my company any longer.”

Concerned Human Resources Manager: “I think I’m beginning to better understand where you are coming from. I have proposal that...” (Concerned Human Resources Manager was interrupted in mid sentence by Sad Work at Home Employee.)

Sad Work at Home Employee: “I simply feel no one at my company cares about my professional development.”

Concerned Human Resources Manager: “The picture is coming through crystal clear and I now see how serious your situation is and I believe we must take the bull by the horns and nip this one in the bud before it is too late. I always say, ‘A stitch In Time Is Worth Two In The Bush!’”

Sad Work at Home Employee: “I’m glad I have gotten your attention. Before you propose what my company will do to fix my issues please allow me to sum it all up by saying, the Bottom Line is I no longer have any Team Identification with our company.”

Concerned Human Resources Manager: “I now feel your pain! The now see the only way to fix all of your complex issues. I recommend you start coming to the office 2 days a week.”

Sad Work at Home Employee: "No!"

************

While I was overhearing what was reported to you above, I saw the Concerned Assistant Human Resources Manager brought to tears as he pleaded with another Work at Home Employee to come back into the office.

As I was slithering out the door I asked him about his frustration. Specifically I asked him what position this other Work at Home Employee held. I felt his pain when he replied, “Front Office Receptionist”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you care to read about what’s happening in Holland, click here...https://www.deseret.com/u-s-world/2022/7/14/23190318/netherlands-enshrines-work-from-home-as-a-right-elon-musk-tesla-office-covid-pandemic

 

 

But It’s Only A Butt

It won’t hurt anything. It’s very small. Drop it on the ground. Everybody else does. No one will pay it no nevermind.

Imagine how bad it would be if millions and millions of people had not given up smoking in the last 58 years...

Fella Disclaimer: Heck if I know if the above shocking picture is true but I did find it on the Internet. That fact might give you the confidence to believe it...Or might it not?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:  The bullets below are from a report issued in 2014 on the 50^th Anniversary of the 1964 Surgeon General’s Landmark Report on the Dangers of Smoking...

Ø Although smoking has decreased over the 50 years—from 52% to 25% of adult men, and from 35% to 19% of adult women—the decline has slowed over the last two decades.

Ø It is estimated that half a million Americans die from smoking every year, and this number has not changed in a decade.

Ø Smoking costs the U.S. economy about $100 billion per year, including direct medical costs and the indirect cost of lost productivity from employee sick time due to smoking-related illness.

Ø The Surgeon General cautions that current efforts to reduce smoking are not getting as much support as they need. 

Ø While many states have received substantial funds from settlements with tobacco companies which were intended for tobacco control programs, this funding is frequently been spent elsewhere. 

Ø In 2013, Alaska was the only state to fund their tobacco control programs at the level recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Why isn’t the Underlined Part above a crime?

The Supreme Court Got It All Wrong...Again!

There they were again. Marching up and down again. Holding all sorts of signs again. Shouting out rhyming chants over and over again.

I had the feeling that I had seen and heard all this before and I had because I had seen and heard all of this yesterday and the day before yesterday and last week and the week before last and last month and the month before last. If the late Yul Brynner were not late he would probably say... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JHH6iwgIek

Somehow this one was different. Not only am I the Noticer but I am the Curious Noticer so I started trying to get to the bottom of this protest...

Me: Tell me exactly why you are demonstrating today.

He: I am demonstrating because the Radical Out Of Control Supreme Court just announced their latest decision.

Me: I’m confused.

He: Tell me why you are confused. There is nothing demonstrators love to do more than to disburse confusion wherever we find it. Confusion is a terrible thing. It’s so confusing.

Me: I have been listening to your rhyming every day chants every day for months now and I am certain that what the Supreme Court announced today was in complete agreement with what you were rhyming chanting yesterday that you wanted them to decide today. You got what you were demanding. In other words, You Won!

He: It makes no difference what we were chanting we wanted. If this Radical Out Of Control Supreme Court has announced a decision that is in agreement with what we were demanding than what we were demanding must not have been what we wanted and we must take a stand and change our demands to be in opposition to what this Radical Out Of Control Supreme Court has decided.

Me: It is going to take a lot of retooling to change your long held position and stop on a dime and turn around and be against what you were in favor of only yesterday.

He: Believe me it is not a problem. Our organization is nothing if we are not flexible. Our Sign Painting Department does this all the time. Our Rhyming Chant Guys are top notch professionals. They will be cranking out new Rhyming Chants before you know what hit you.

I told him I understood perfectly but I did not. There are not many times when Fella is speechless but this was certainly one of those times.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Don’t Feel Bad If You Don’t Know Who Eratosthenes Was

If Eratosthenes was not so Late (he died in 194 BC), he probably would not know who you are either.

Eratosthenes was a very smart guy. He had nothing else to do one day so he started to think (he did that a lot). He thought to himself, I wonder what the circumference of the Earth is.

He became obsessed about knowing the answer to this question. The problem was he did not have any technical gear like calculators, smartphones & such. All he had was a stick. He said to himself, “That will do”.

He stuck the stick into the ground and measured the moving shadow of the stick on the ground for awhile. He came up a Circumference Estimate for the Earth that later proved to be over 98.5% accurate. The year was 200BC.

You probably have plans for today but I bet there isn’t a shadow of a doubt that you plans won’t shake a stick to what Eratosthenes did that day.

************

Sixteen hundred and ninety two years later Columbus decided to ignore what Eratosthenes and his stick had come up with so long ago. By doing this Columbus proved to all the world for all time that he was not as smart as Eratosthenes was smart.

The sad thing is he had actually studied what Eratosthenes had written about the size of the Earth. Nevertheless, using a map by that had been worked up by a guy named Toscanelli, he chose to believe that the Earth's circumference was 25% smaller than the size Eratosthenes and his stick had come up with.

If Columbus had accepted Eratosthenes's larger value, he would have known that the place where he made landfall was not Asia, but rather a New World.

************

In today’s world, if Eratosthenes had been in the opposition party to the party of the Talking Head who was Talking His Head about Eratosthenes, it would have been reported that Eratosthenes had lied.

It would not be that Eratosthenes was close or made a pretty good guess. Because he was not exactly right on with his calculations it would have been reported on the Nightly News he had lied because he had said the circumference of the Earth was 39,425 km, which is 1.5% less than the real circumference, 40,008 km.

If Eratosthenes were not so dead, he would probably say, “I sure am glad I am as dead as I am”.

On the other hand, if Eratosthenes were in the other opposition party the Talking Heads in that party would come to his defense by saying, “Everybody lies about the circumference of the Earth”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw30CgaXiQw

 

 

 

Did I Just Hear You Say You Don’t Believe In Inflation

 

I started out my climb up the Automotive Corporate Ladder to the height of my Mediocre Career with Ford Motor Company. As a Traveler with Ford we drove company cars for 5,000 miles and then sold them to a dealer after our replacement car had arrived. We usually could add any options we wanted on our cars. We drove nice cars.

One day one of my fellow travelers, Dick Hodges, came into the conference room we were all stuffed into and announced he had just ordered his new company car and he had put on it every option he could and the MSRP (Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price) was $3,300!

We all looked at him in disbelief. We could not believe one of our cars could be priced out that high no matter what was loaded onto it.

As an aside: Some of our dealers called some of us, but not me, Empty Suits...Or did they not?

************

Back to Belief in Inflation...

Our televisions will not stop telling us about how much prices are going up as a result of the Good Ole USofA’s Growing Rate of Inflation. Some of us don’t believe that Inflation is as big a problem as others of us do. The number of us that don’t believe that Inflation is a big problem is a shrinking number of us every day that goes by.

I was talking to one of these disbelievers during a break in a tennis match this week. He said something like this...

I don’t see it. I was in the grocery store yesterday and I did notice that the price of Cheez-It Snacks had gone up $.03 in the last week. I can afford to pay $.03 more for my Cheez-Its. This is not a Big Problem.

I was aghast! I took out my Smartphone and proceeded to find lots of information to put him in his place. Armed with our Smartphones we who don’t know much about much can sound real smart.

Looking up from my Smartphone and said, “OK, Moneybags, did you know that an EZGO Express L6 now costs $15,794?”

He replied, “Huh?”

I piled it on, “And did you know that that is $12,494 more than Dick Hodges’ Fully Loaded LTD back in 1971?”

https://ezgo.txtsv.com/personal/golfcarts/express-l6

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Another name the dealers had for some of us, but not me, Smart Ass from the Factory with all the Answers.