You Got Any Money Left?

If you have some money left, I will now offer you two ways that you can spend your left money...

Seen in a local mall department store March 11, 2022...A Bathroom Rug (with no backing) for $100...

Please note that I said “A Rug”. I did not say “A Six-Pack of Rugs”.

Ø Thankfully we got it On Sale for “only” $35.

Ø I still think $35 is too high because it does not even fly.

I was not around when my wife purchased this “bargain” but my mind got to wandering and I wondered if the signage next to the stack of rugs said something like this...

Today Only $35 for Our Finest Imitation* Walmart Rugs

*Exact knock-offs of the popular rugs sold in Walmart for anywhere between $25 and $35

************

Outside the rug selling department store was a Kiosk that sold shoes which (because of the thick soles) looked like the kind of shoes Herman Munster or Frankenstein’s Monster would have worn when they played basketball...

These shoes cost between $520! and $1,620!!

As for me I would not pay this much for these funny looking basketball shoes even if Herman Munster’s or Frankenstein’s Monster’s feets were still in them.

I can just hear this conversation taking place between a customer and a salesman inside this Kiosk...

Ø Customer: I don’t understand why this pair of shoes is selling for only $520 and this pair of shoes is selling for $1,620?

Ø Salesman: I’m a bit surprised that you don’t see the difference. The $1,620 pair of shoes is much uglier than the $520 pair of shoes.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

I Will Not Do It!

 

What will I not do? I will not take a position about how the State of California can fix all of its problems. What I will do is present the Facts of where California is today and then I will walk away because I am a Smartfella but I ain’t smart enough to fix California’s Gargantuan Awful Predicament...

Today Fact #1: California has 12% of the United States' Total Population but it has 49% of the Homeless Population of the United States.

Today Fact #2: In the last 10 years over 15,000 Businesses have fled California and the exodus is Accelerating!

Today Fact #3: California annually spends more on Welfare than does All Of These States Combined!: Texas, Hawaii, Arizona, South Dakota, North Dakota, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Oregon, Idaho, Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, New Mexico and Montana.

************

I will now attack myself for being a Liar! I said above that I would not take a position as to how California can fix all of its problems. I have changed because I now see it is An Easy Fix...

Figure Out What California Has Been Doing For The Last 10 Years And Do The Opposite!

You are probably kicking yourself for not seeing this Obvious Corrective Course of Action. I guess I am really smart after all.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

If this is the Absolute Truth, why won’t Fella swear it is the Absolute Truth?

I was walking down the street trying to keep other people who were walking down the street while looking and pecking at their Smartphones from bumping into me when it happened.

I saw a big sign above the entrance to a meeting hall the read, “If You Love America, Come In”. I went in because I do love my country.

The place was packed with wide-eyed cheering fellow lovers of America. The first thing I thought was, “Wow! This is really great!” The first word I hear come out of the current speaker’s mouth was “corruption” and the second word was “Ukraine”.

Man, that guy was on a roll! He was shouting things like (in bullet point format)...

Ø People are elected over and over who are not rich when they first get elected but they all leave office Stinking Rich!

Ø The people they elect to office are paid too much especially when you consider how much they work, however, they are not paid so much that they should all become stinking rich while in office!

Ø They are repeatedly caught on tape taking bribes yet nothing happens to them.

Ø They are repeatedly caught on tape laughing about how often they are repeatedly caught on tape taking bribes yet nothing happens to them.

Ø The people they elect are repeatedly caught driving drunk and then they are reelected again.

Ø Then they probably go celebrate their re-election and get drunk again and drive home drunk again

Ø The people they elect never change their minds about positions they hold even after the most impassioned and fact filled evidence is presented to them that their positions are absolutely poppycock (whatever that is).

Ø The people they elect hardly ever show up in Congress to listen to opposing arguments and when they do they fall asleep during the opposing arguments.

I had heard enough! I jumped up and shouted, “This is absolute corruption of the highest order! The United States would not support Ukraine one day longer!”

Then I added on a question, “What I don’t understand is why you just called their National Assembly a Congress. Ukraine’s National Assembly is not named a Congress. It is named the Verkhovna Rada”.

They all shouted at me in one voice, “Fella, what are you thinking? Who said we are talking about Ukraine?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: This Blog Posting was inspired by the fact that often members of our Corrupt Congress go out of their way to remind us that Ukraine, even though it is presently under a completely unjustified attack by Russia, is really a very Corrupt Country.

The Future of Electric Vehicles

I apologize that this Blog Posting is so Complicated. It had to be Complicated because the subject matter it covers is Complicated. I also apologize for the Lack of Foolishness. There is Very Little Foolishness below because This Is Important Stuff!

I recommend you read all of these 2 articles but you probably won’t because they will probably wear you out. Even I had to recommend to myself 3 times that I read all of these 2 articles but I’m glad I took my advice.

Now what do I have to do to get our Congress to read these 2 articles? I understand they don't have time to read what I send to them because they are too busy not reading all those bills they are passing. The best I can do is get the articles piped into the overhead sound system during Happy Hour. 😀 (This paragraph is the closest this Blog Posting will come to Foolishness.)

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This Is Important Stuff!      This Is Important Stuff!      This Is Important Stuff!

First Article June 1 2021 by Dr. Jay Lehr and Tom Harris

Here are the opening 3 paragraphs of the 1st article...

One of the most unjustifiably hyped innovations of our lifetime is the electric vehicle (EV). The federal government and the state of California are wrong to think that the internal combustion engine is destined to end up in the dustbin of history in the next few decades. It will not happen for many obvious reasons that governments are blind to, and some reasons that are not so obvious.

 

The most obvious one is that EVs are so expensive that the average American cannot afford to own one. Vehicles powered by internal combustion engines will always be significantly cheaper and will transport you much farther.

 

Regardless, EVs can never be produced in the numbers the government wants because of a lack of necessary rare earth elements needed for EV battery production, minerals that are mostly held hostage in China. Fortunately, the situation has improved slightly in recent years, as the below figure shows, but China still has the largest known deposits of rare earths.

Here are the closing 2 paragraphs of the 1st article...

EMERGENCY VEHICLES MUST CONTINUE TO BE POWERED BY INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINES

 

The electric automobile will remain a niche market for the foreseeable future, likely never exceeding 10% of the cars on the road. Automobile manufacturers that are heavily investing in EVs will be very disappointed in their sales. Perhaps they know this and instead will soon make only what they know they can sell. And then President Biden and Governor Newsom’s plans will crumble with the inevitable return of the gasoline-powered vehicle.

 

In the meantime, consumers who made the leap to EVs will increasingly find themselves freezing in the dark on the side of remote highways with their EV batteries depleted. If they are lucky, they will be rescued by a tow truck operator who had the common sense to stockpile gasoline and keep their internal combustion engine-driven trucks tuned up and ready to go.

Here is the link to the entire 1st article: https://www.americaoutloud.com/no-joe-electric-cars-will-never-power-america/

************

This Is Important Stuff!      This Is Important Stuff!      This Is Important Stuff!

Second Article Jan 15 2022 by Dr. Jay Lehr and Tom Harris

Here are the opening 2 paragraphs of the 2nd article...

The utility companies have thus far had little to say about the alarming cost projections to operate electric vehicles (EVs) or the increased rates that they will be required to charge their customers. It is not just the total amount of electricity required--but the transmission lines and fast charging capacity that must be built at existing filling stations. Neither wind nor solar can support any of it. Electric vehicles will never become the mainstream of transportation!

 

In part 1 of our expose on the problems with electric vehicles (EVs), we showed that they were too expensive, too unreliable, rely on materials mined in China and other unfriendly countries, and require more electricity than the nation can afford. In this second part, we address other factors that will make any sensible reader avoid EVs like the plague.

Here is the closing paragraph of the 2nd article...

Our Conclusion

The electric automobile will always be around in a niche market likely never exceeding 10% of the cars on the road. All automobile manufacturers are investing in their output and all will be disappointed in their sales. Perhaps they know this and will manufacture just what they know they can sell. This is certainly not what President Biden or California Governor Newsom are planning for. However, for as long as the present government is in power, they will be pushing the electric car as another means to run our lives. We have a chance to tell them exactly what we think of their expensive and dangerous plans when we go to the polls in November of 2022. 

Here is the link to the entire 2nd article: https://www.americaoutloud.com/the-electric-vehicle-scam/

************

I hope I did not wear you out with this Blog Posting but I had to give it a go because... This Is Important Stuff!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I’ve Run Out Of Money

 

A few years ago I saw an ad on TV that asked me to donate money Every Month to a Worthy Cause. I started donating Every Month. Then I saw another appeal and I started donating to that Worthy Cause Every Month. After it blossomed into a crescendo I could not resist I thought to myself...

Is this new opportunity to donate Every Month to a New Worthy Cause any less Worthy than any of the other Worthy Causes I am donating to? However, I could not stop. Now I am thinking I need to become Monthly Donation Charity so I can continue to Donate Monthly to all of these Monthly Worthy Causes.

Here are a few examples of where my money is going Every Month...

•      Paralyzed Veterans of America ... Recommended monthly donation: $25 or $50 or $100 or $250 or Other.
•      PragerU ... Recommended monthly donation: $35 or $100 or $250 or $1,000 or Other.
•      Tunnels to Towers ... Recommended monthly donation: $11 or $35 or $50 or $100 or Other.
•      Starving Jews ... Recommended monthly donation: $35 or $60 or $100 or $500 or $1,000 or Other.
•      Starving Animals ... Recommended monthly donation: $11 or $35 or $50 or $100 or Other.
•      Wounded Warriors ... Recommended monthly donation: $19 or $25 or $30 or Other.
•      MercyShips.org... $19 or $25 or $35 or $50 or $60 or $100 or $150 or $300 or Other.
•      International Rescue Committee ... $36 or $60 or $108 or $290 or $500 or Other.

Don’t for a second think that the above 8 are the only Monthly Donation Charities out there. If ever there was a Tip to the Proverbial Iceberg, this is that Tip.

Search on something like, “Monthly Charitable Donation Opportunities” and you will be able to spend the rest of the day...Or is it the rest of the week?...Or is it the rest of the Month? finding more opportunities to find more opportunities.

All of the Donation Opportunities have wording such as this...

“Make a big impact with a small monthly gift. Habitat HopeBuilders are a special group of our most valued partners dedicated to helping families in need of safe, affordable housing in their communities and around the world. HopeBuilders make small, automatic donations every month, which makes it easier for Habitat to plan long-term, budget more efficiently and create more life-changing outcomes.”

How can you resist? Some say we ought to Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid about many different things but I’ll leave you with this... Be Careful...Be Very Careful.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: One thing you can be sure of is you will never see an opportunity to donate to a Worthy Cause called Starving Politicians...Or will you?

Change Is Always Good...Or is it?

“Although there is no progress without change, not all change is progress.” – John Wooden

Some of us are obsessed with change. When asked, “Why did you change that?” a Change Inclined Person responded, “Because it needed to be changed because it has always been that way”.

As for me, I don’t like change for the sake of change. I know the things I know. If someone changes what I know and calls it something I do not know, I become confused.

Long ago an Employee became an Associate. Is someone who is an Associate a better worker than someone who used to be an Employee? I think not but I need not worry about whether or not it was better because the changers have now changed Associate to Team Member.

“Manager” is a term that I am comfortable with. I am comfortable because I think... I’m sure glad there is a Manager in charge of what goes on here. It means we are not stumbling around trying to figure out what’s going on here.

************

I walked into my local grocery store the other day and was greeted by the usual Welcome Sign that told me the name of the Store’s Manager. I thought to myself...

Self, this is good. Someone is in charge here. Things are in order here. I am going to find Bananas somewhere very close to the Oranges because they are both Fruits. If Snidely Whiplash were in charge here, all of the different Fruits would be spread all throughout the store. I would find myself thinking, I don’t like Oranges. I like Bananas but I can’t find the Bananas so I’ll have to buy the Oranges because I can’t find the Bananas.

Actually I lied (again) when I said above. “...was greeted by the usual Welcome Sign that told me the name of the Store’s Manager”. I did not find the comfortable words “Store Manager” which I am familiar with. Instead I was greeted by the sign below...

I found myself thinking to myself... Is a Leader better than a Manager? If a Leader is not better than a Manager, why not just leave it a Manager?

I panicked! I rushed into the store to get my Bananas before it was too late. I was too late. I could not find the Bananas. I could not even find the Oranges. I ended up buying 12 Kumquats and I don’t even know what a Kumquat is. 

I used to enjoy my rides home from my Local Grocery Store because I was comfortable knowing I had bought my stuff and my stuff was safely tucked away in my car's Way Back. 

This day was different. Not only was I sad that I could not find my Bananas but I also had this uneasy apprehension about what future visits to My Local Grocery store were going to be like.

John Wooden was smarter than today’s Quick Change Artists. Quick Change Artists are the people who say to each other, People are starting to get comfortable with our last batch of changes! We have got to move quickly! Let’s change everything before they get too comfortable and then where would we be?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Mr. Russia Threatens To Sink Uber

 

Did you just say, “What the heck is Fella talking about?”

Allow me to explain (in bullet point format)...

Ø Mr. Poland decides he wants to give jets to Ukraine.

Ø Mr. Russia contacts Mr. Poland and says, “If you give those jets to Ukraine I will consider it an act of war and I will destroy you!”

Ø Mr. Poland, being sly, cunning and alerts takes a step back to think about the Destroy Threat.

Ø Mr. Poland comes up with a very slick Plan of Action.

Ø Mr. Poland calls Mr. United States and says to him, “I will send the jets to your base in Germany and you can get them into Ukraine by whatever means you can come up with and then I won’t be destroyed”.

Ø Mr. United States says, “OK, I will have my pilots fly the jets into Ukraine”.

Ø Mr. Russia contacts Mr. United States and says, “If you fly those jets to Ukraine I will consider it an act of war and I will destroy you!”

Ø Mr. United States takes a step back and says, “I know what I will do. Ukrainians pilots know how to fly those jets. I’ll tell Mr. Ukraine to get his pilots to take Ubers from Ukraine to my base in Germany where the jets are and then his pilots can fly the jets back into Ukraine”.

Ø Mr. Russia contacts Mr. Uber and says, “If you ride those Ukrainian Pilots from Ukraine to where those Jets are in Germany, I will consider it an act of war and I will destroy you!”

Mr. Uber is not used to all of this and he sends an All Uber Tweet to all Ubers in Ukraine saying, “If you get a call from anyone in Ukraine who sounds like he has ever ridden in a car, has ever been struck by a car or he might be able to fly a plane, tell them you have a flat tire”.

My Dear Readers, now you know one of the interesting ways that History becomes History.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Please Allow Me To Display My Ignorance For All To See

Okay, I am out of my depth, I am uninformed, I don’t know what I am talking about, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JHH6iwgIek.

What am I so agitated about? Here is it...

Time Magazine told me that 8.8 Billion existing planets that are similar in size and temperature to Earth

How Do They Know That? That’s a lot of counting. 8.8 Billion is a lot of anything! That’s 8 Thousand 8 Hundred Million Planets. How Do They Know That?

The only way I will believe this is if Time Magazine can certify that they got this 8.8 Billion Number because 1 Million Bureaucrats with Clip Boards and Hand Clickers just got back from traveling throughout the Universe where they hand counted all 8.8 Billion Earth-Like Planets and Jimma Carter has certified their results.

I said I would believe it but I can’t believe it. Even after Jimma puts his Jimma Seal of Approval on the 8.8 Billion figure I am still going to be skeptical...

Don’t you think it is strange that the final number came out to Exactly 8.8 Billion?

I would feel better if Time Magazine had said "About 8.8 Billion Planets" but it did not so I hold onto my position that, If You Are Going To Venture Into the Unbelievable, You At Least Ought To Be Exact About It.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

I Am Sure The World Will Come Around To My Side Once I Tell Them What Those Ukrainians Did To Mother Russia!

The above Subject Sentence was just Tweeted to Planet Earth from Vladimir Putin.

Fella knows what is going on here. Vladimir has seen the bad press he has been getting and he has hired the prodigious Public Relations Firm, Fight Lies Of Their Own With Lies Of Your Own, Inc.

The head of the firm’s Lie Fabrication Department has told Vladimir he has nothing to worry about. He assured Vladimir that this campaign would be a Two Tweeter and the world would be apologizing to him before the next day is out. He even went on to prognosticate that there just might be a Nobel Peace Prize in Vladimir’s future.

Vladimir immediately got all excited and started asking what the Second Tweet was. The PR Guy calmed him down by saying, “Hold on big fella. I’ve got it right here”. (Vladimir likes it when he is called “Big Fella” because he is only 5’ 7” Tall.)

Vladimir felt a huge sigh of relief sweep over him when the Second Tweet (The Zinger Tweet) was read to him and he did immediately see the possibility of a Nobel Peace Prize coming down the pike (whatever that means).

Pardon me, My Dear Readers, I forgot to let you in on the Zinger Tweet. Here it is...

When I saw the treachery of the Ukrainians I knew I had to level the country. Their response to my invasion was immediate, a complete surprise and entirely unprovoked. As soon as we started bombing them, shelling them with our rocket artillery, rolling over them with our tanks and shooting them with our rifles, they started shooting back at us! I had no choice. I shouted at my generals across my Shouting Table, “Shooting at us! Can you believe it! If you can’t trust your neighbors, who can you trust! This kind of behavior Will Not Stand!”

For Vladimir that’s the Good News. The Bad News is Lie’s Of Your Own’s most expensive Public Relations Package is its Two Tweet Zinger.

Vladimir brushed aside the cost saying, “I can easily pay that because I have lots of Oil and Gas Revenue coming in from my enemies”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Better Than Nothing...Or is it?

I see where people all over the world who are Demonstration Prone have been coming out in force to show their Opposition to Vladimir Putin's Attack on Ukraine. It will probably make the demonstrators feel that they are doing the only thing they can do but someone ought to tell them that what they are doing will not have any effect on anything with regard to making Vladimir change course or even think for a moment about changing course.

I can’t read everyone’s minds but I seem to have a gift for reading the Demonstration Prone Mind. With the concealment afforded me by my Potted Plant Outfit I was able to get up close and personal to the Oscar DoGood the Leader of the Go Home You Big Bully Demonstration in downtown Atlanta last Sunday.

Here is what I read out of his mind. Luckily for us he thought his thoughts in Bullet Point Format...

Ø I can just see the look of horror on Vladimir’s face when he hears that we are out in force here in Atlanta.

Ø He is certainly going to think to himself...
>Oh no! Not Atlanta, Georgia! That’s where Oscar hangs out! This could change the Course of History!
>Oscar has been known to have his demonstrators Wave Signs!
>That Sign-Waving Technique of his has Changed Many Minds!
>Who’s idea was it to go into Ukraine and attack them like this anyway?
>It must have been one of my generals!

Igor! Send in my generals at once! Tell them to sit at the other end of my Shouting Table and I will shout a piece of my mind over at them!

The world will have to wait to find out if Oscar’s Atlanta Sign-Waving Demonstration will cause Vladimir's Mind to Change Itself. 

Fella thinks Vladimir will pay it No Never Mind (Definition of pay someone no mind: to refuse to listen to what someone is saying or to notice what someone is doing : to ignore someone).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella