Woe is us!
Say it isn’t true!
What are we going to do now?!
This is awful!
Who told them there was such a thing?!
Lately things have been slow in my Blog Creation Cave so I got my Potted Plant Outfit out of the closet and headed to Washington D.C.
I slithered into the House Chamber just in time for the biggest commotion since last year when Congressman Foghorn Leghorn awoke to find out he had slept through the first 5 minutes of Happy Hour.
He arrived at Happy Hour 12 minutes late but he had not missed much because by tradition the drinking cannot start until Congressman Leghorn gives the First Toast.
When he did arrive, however, he was verbally attacked by his fellow thirsty lawmakers but once he had raised his glass and toasted the Pink Abalone in the Fiji Islands (he is running out of things to toast) he was forgiven by all as they got down to their First Serious Business of the Day.
************
Back to the Commotion in the Corner of the House Chamber...
Lately the House has become enamored with Spending Bills That Cost Trillions of Dollars. They used to think that a Billion Dollars was enough until Congressman Snidely Whiplash introduced them to the fact they could Go Where No House of Representatives Had Gone Before and Spend Trillions of Dollars on Stuff. It did not matter what Stuff they spent it on. The Spending itself is where the thrill of a job well done is felt.
I overheard several Congressmen discussing the Kickbacks they would derive from spending bills that cost Quadrillions as opposed to bills that only spent Mere Trillions. Several of them were actually brought to tears thinking about it.
I heard them say to each other, “This is great! A Thousand Trillion Dollars! Who actually came up with
this Quadrillion Thing?! The best part is those Taxpayers who think we are
spending too much money will be left speechless as long as in the beginning we propose
spending only 1 Quadrillion. Silly taxpayers! They think a Single of anything
can’t be a lot. Later when they get used to the use of the word “Quadrillion”
we can move on to 2 and 3 and 4 and beyond! We ought to have one of our hundreds
of Committees look into whether or not there is anything more than
Quadrillion.”
In case you forgot how much money our money is...
A Million is a Thousand Thousand or $1,000,000
Billion is a Thousand Million or $1,000,000,000
Trillion is a Thousand Billion or $1,000,000,000,000
Quadrillion is a Thousand Trillion or $1,000,000,000,000,000
Senator Dudley Do-Right sat at his assigned House Sitting Place with his head in his hands mumbling over and over to himself, "The Wheels Are Off The Wagon This Time For Sure!" (I tried to find an image on the Internet of Dudley looking sad but I could not.)
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: Another first has been reached in this Blog Posting. Bet you never thought you would see the word “Mere” and the word “Trillions” combined together into the single term “Mere Trillions”. Don’t blame me. Your elected Congressmen said it. I only reported what I overheard them say. I Report you Decide if it is Foolishness.
1 comment:
Sorry I didn’t read this until now. As usual learned something new...quadrillion. Am listening to Patsy Cline and know she would be lost with billion. Babe Ruth was making $50,000 which I think was more than the President. Today the bat girl gets that in tips. Somehow I missed Thursday’s fireside reading of the teller prompter for the status of the first 100 days but did see some of the overflow of empty house chambers. The picture I saw was the speaker on a throne with her leg in a high thigh shot that made her look like a 70+ whore. The House Chamber in not her house it belongs to our country. How could that evil woman tell that senile president a limit for those in person to see the reading? Is the National Guard still there since they took down the barbed wired fence? The Aussie was right it was an embarrassment for the United States.
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