My Potted Plant Outfit Has Come In Handy Again

 This Blog Posting was originally published on August 7, 2018. Here it is shortened and the Lagniappe has been updated. DO NOT MISS READING THE LAGNIAPPE!

One of our major airlines has reported it was flying about 700 service animals daily, a 150 percent increase since the prior year. The company also reported an 84 percent rise in “animal incidents,” including urine, feces and aggressive behavior.

Another airline noted a 75 percent jump in animals on board from a year earlier, and a “significant increase” in onboard incidents involving them.

Two airlines are banning certain animals totally from traveling in the cabin, including hedgehogs, ferrets, insects, rodents, snakes, spiders, amphibians, sugar gliders and non-household birds.

Airlines are considering barring animals with tusks, horns or hooves, except for trained miniature horses acting as service animals.

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Since this issue is so much in the news I put on my Potted Plant Outfit and went slithering about our Transportation Department in Washington D.C. to see what’s going on in the world of Transportation. It just so happened that I picked an action packed day to go slithering about.

It was absolute chaos! The office was full of advocates from People for the Advancement of the Right to Take Any Animal Anywhere who were busy loudly advocating their cause.

You may not be aware that our Airlines are under assault by this and 32 other organizations of a similar persuasion.

Here is one of the conversations I overheard...

Ø Animal Advocate (AA) said, “Peacocks are not that big! An Ostrich is big but a Peacock is only large and large is not big”.

Ø Beleaguered Transportation Official (BTO) said, “Looks pretty big to me”. (What the BTO should have said, “That’s silly! Get the hell out of my office!”)

Ø BTO said, “Innocent passengers have been injured by Peacocks on Airline Flights”.

Ø AA said, “That’s an exaggeration! There has not been an Airline Peacock Attack since last week!”

Ø BTO said, “You may have a point. I’ll take that fact under advisement but first I will need to talk to that passenger who was attacked by that Peacock”. (What the BTO should have said, “That’s silly! Get the hell out of my office!”)

Ø AA said, “You will have to wait. He will not be out of the hospital till after Labor Day”.

Ø AA said, “I’ll bet you are not going to take the feelings of the Peacock Community into consideration, are you? Peacocks are people too. These proud sensitive animals have been raised to care for their emotionally challenged caregivers. Your preventing them from fulfilling their mission in life takes a very hard toll on their psychological makeup”.

Ø BTO said, “I never thought of that. I’ll be certain to call an emergency meeting of our Rules Committee right after lunch today to consider the very cogent point you just presented me with”. (What the BTO should have said, “That’s silly! Get the hell out of my office!”)

Ø BTO said, “While you are here, we should discuss Pooping by Birds on our planes. Our Janitorial Union has filed a grievance against this new rather unpleasant responsibility”.

Ø AA said, “Well I never! I am of a mind to file a counter grievance against their grievance with my Congressman.

Ø BTO said, “Why am I having to go through this when I am only weeks away from retirement!” (What the BTO should have said, “That’s silly! Get the hell out of my office!”)

The Bottom Line: As soon as our 9% Approval Rated Congress gets back from vacation it ought to pass a Federal Law that a Beleaguered Transportation Official ought to be allowed to say to an Animal Advocate, “That’s silly! Get the hell out of my office!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: You think this issue could not get crazier. Think again...

Why do people say they need Emotional Support Animals to fly on airplanes? We are told they cannot get on planes without being Emotionally Supported by their Emotional Support Animals...Or can they?

It looks like this Emotionally Challenged Student was able to get on her plane after she came out of the Airport Rest Room...

February 11, 2018...BALTIMORE, MARYLAND — A college student is alleging that she flushed her emotional support hamster down a toilet after a Spirit Airlines employee would not let her board with the furry critter.