Please Tell Me, Officer Krupke, How Did This Terrible Happening Happen?

There stands Officer Krupke and you. The 2 of you are standing next to the horribly crumpled deceased jogger. You say to Officer Krupke, “Please tell me, Officer Krupke, how did this terrible happening happen?”

Officer Krupke has seen this kind of terrible happening before and he is ready for your question, “I am very familiar with these kinds of terrible happenings. The jogger was concentrating so much on the many techniques of proper jogging that he forgot to pay attention to where his proper jogging was taking him and he ran into that big tree. I am certain he did not suffer long”.

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We have all heard this said in the past, “If you ask him what time it is, he will tell you how to make a watch”. The Internet knows how to make a watch and it will be ever so glad to tell you.

Maybe a different way to put this is to ask, Why does he (it) have to make everything so complicated?

For example, if you want to go jogging just go out and jog. It is not that complicated...Or is it not?

Here is the beginning of Complicated R Us’ “simple” explanation about Complicated Jogging...

“When it comes to running, posture is extremely important. If you want to lower your risk for injuries, keep your level of soreness down, and also protect your joints so you can keep running, posture is vital to focus on. Running with poor posture can lead you to hurt yourself or feeling sorer than necessary the next day. Plus, running with the right posture will help improve your time.”

For the best possible posture for running, keep all of these tips in mind:

Ø Avoid Bouncing: If you’re bouncing a lot when you’re running, that means you are spending too much energy lifting yourself off the ground. Focus on keeping your stride low to the ground, land softly on your feet, and run lightly.

Ø Hands at Your Waist, Arms at Your Side: This tip is pretty straightforward. You don’t want to tense up your fists, because that tension will move up to your shoulders and your neck. As well, don’t keep your arms up closer to your chest because it will spend your energy up quicker.

Ø Head-Up: You may be tempted to watch your feet while running to avoid tripping. However, it’s better to look about 10 to 20 feet ahead of you. It will avoid adding tension to your neck and shoulders too.

Ø Relax Shoulders: If you tense up your shoulders too much, it’ll lead to them feeling sorer after your run, which can discourage you and can even restrict your breathing. So, remember to relax them and don’t hunch them forward too much.

Ø The Z Angle: This term refers to the proper posture of running as if you’re running with the right form it’ll make a z shape with your body. To do this correctly, ensure that your hip is parallel to the top of your pelvis, your hip is straight to the ankle of the leg that is running, and that your feet land firmly on the ground so your ankle doesn’t curve up too much.

If there is that much to worry about about jogging, maybe you ought to consider Beer Non-Jogging (sitting on your patio, drinking a beer, thinking about jogging but not jogging).

I’ve said it before and I’m about to say it again, “Staying Healthy Is Enough to Kill You”.

Would I kill u? ... Oops! ... Would I kid u?

Smartfella