Apologizing Too Late

A year after Julius Caesar was assassinated the Roman Senate named the seventh month July (the month of Caesar’s birth) in his honor.

That was a nice touch to honor him that way but I bet Caesar was not very impressed by this gesture of remembrance. The Senate which honored him was the same Senate that on March 15th of the prior year were jockeying for position to stick a knife in his Honorable Body.

A detailed report of Caesar’s injuries was issued by the physician who performed Caesar’s autopsy (this report is seen as the earliest documented post-mortem report in history). According to the report...

• Only one of Caesar’s 23 stab wounds was fatal.
• It was the one that punctured Caesar’s chest and ruptured his aorta.
• Some of the wounds were superficial and failed to protrude deeper than the muscle tissue.
• Several wounds were deep but missed any of his vital organs.

Saying, “I’m sorry I killed you, but to make up for it, I’m going to name a month after you”, had to be one of the more Historically Phony Apologies ever.

It would have been more appropriate to say, “I’m sorry I missed your vital organs, you dead bum”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella