I First Wrote About This Subject Almost A Decade Ago And I Am Pleased To Now See That The World Is Coming Around To My Way Of Thinking...Or Is It?

First I will give you the opportunity to read one of my Absolute Most Favorite Blog Postings (at present I have 716 Absolute Most Favorite Blog Postings).

 

Then I will list for you a series of News Articles Headlines from Today’s Internet which will show that the world has come around to my way of thinking.

 

The difference between my Silly Humorous Blog Posting and Today’s Headlines is the Headlines are Shouting Cautionary Warnings at you about the dangers of Social Networking while my Blog Posting is making you chuckle while Shouting Cautionary Warnings at you.

 

First my Humorous Blog Posting...

I Was Going To Find A Cure For All Forms Of Cancer

The smartest man who ever lived in the entire history of humankind on the face of the earth is about to publish an open email to every email address in the entire world. Since us knowledge seekers often seek the counsel of other knowledge seekers he first sent the email to me for proofreading and spell checking. He was so grateful to me for the misspelled word I found he gave me permission to publish his email, in its entirety, in Foolishness…Or Is It?

 

I bet you are excited! Here is the email…

At a very young age I came to the realization that I was, without a doubt, the smartest man who ever lived in the entire history of humankind on the face of the earth. I then quickly determined that what I wanted to do with my life was find a cure for all forms of cancer. I took out my calculator and quickly ascertained that it would take 7.45 years of dedicated hard work and research to accomplish this lofty goal. (I may have been a few months off in my 7.45 years estimate above but it was very close to the actual number because you should remember I am the smartest man who ever lived in the entire history of humankind on the face of the earth.)

 

I was three weeks into my Herculean Cancer Cure Task and was making great progress when I discovered Social Networking (Myspace, Twitter, Facebook, etc.). I was instantly captivated. I could not think of doing anything else with my life other than Social Networking.

 

During my Social Networking endeavors, I am proud to say that I have accomplished many Great Social Feats. Space limitations (and an irresistible compulsion to get back to my morning Twittering Regimen) prohibit me from bragging too much about my Social Accomplishments but here are a few…

Ø August 2, 2008 … I am sitting on my couch thinking about getting up to make myself a peanut and jelly sandwich.

Ø June 27, 2009 … I mailed the Social World the first in a series of pictures of myself eating a cinnamon and raisin bagel.

Ø January 8, 2010 … I laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes after getting a picture of Alfonzo (an accountant from Bulgaria whom I have never met but am proud to say is one of my 21,376,412 Facebook Followers) sticking his tongue out at the camera while wearing a red clown nose ball on his left index finger.

 

I cannot tell you how Socially Fulfilling my life has been to this point. Each day is another pleasure to me. There are times I start to feel a twinge of regret for all those millions of people all over the Earth I could have saved from the debilitating effects, pain, suffering, financial ruin and death that cancer caused them but in life one must make choices and I chose Social Networking.

 

If any of you reading this email wants to send me your address, I will be more than glad to add you as a follower of mine on my Twitter Account.

 

Nothing could make me happier than to have you as a fellow Twit.

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Here are the Almost A Decade Late Shouting Cautionary Warning Headlines about the dangers of Social Networking...

Ø Does Quitting Social Media Make You Happier? Yes, Here's Why

Ø Why I Quit Social Media And What It Did! - YouTube

Ø It's Not Too Late To Quit Social Media - WSJ

Ø It's Not Too Late to Quit Social Media | TheLegalNews (repeats the WSJ Article)

Ø Too Bad To Be True: A Social Media Cautionary Tale

Ø Social Media Detox — Why Quitting Instagram And Facebook Made Me Happier

Ø Social Media Looks Like The New Opiate Of The Masses

Ø Want To Fight Hate? Quit Social Media.

Ø Regulate Social Media Platforms Before It’s Too Late

Ø 10 Reasons To QUIT Social Media NOW

Ø Why I Ditched Social Media And Never Looked Back

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: If you have not had enough of me for this day, here is a link to another blog of mine on this subject...

https://forii.blogspot.com/2014/10/staring-is-thing-of-past.html

The No Call In The Saints/Rams Game Last Sunday Has Been Wrapped Up With A $26,739 Pink Ribbon…Or Has It?

"Rams CB Nickell Robey-Coleman has been fined $26,739 by the NFL for a hit that wasn't flagged during the NFC Championship Game."

 

I know all of you are wondering how the National Foolishness League came up with the $26,739 fine.

 

I know the answer and I am more than happy to enlighten each of you...

He was fined $1 for each time, up until the moment the fine was announced, Roger Goodell had been asked, "Are you going to say anything?"

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

What Have They Done With My Wife?

Yes, I have touched on this before but they paid me no never mind (whatever that means).

Some may call this Progress...Or is it?

 

My wife is sitting right next to me in her La-Z-Boy Chair but she is not really there. In our modern Good Ole USofA she has become, “Someone Else”.

 

Are you confused? The same goes for me but I’ll try and explain...

 

Some say she has become a “Significant Other” but I reject that term. In my Old Fashioned mind I would consider this a demotion and I can’t recall her doing anything so terrible that would require her to be demoted.

 

I prefer “Spouse” (aka: Husband or Wife) but what I prefer appears to be unacceptable. Here is an excerpt from one of our Big Box Warehouses Membership Information Pages...

Memberships come with two cards. Share the price of it with a sibling or significant other or someone else in your household.

I may not be as Old Fashioned as I appear to be. Just to show how I can adapt to Modern “Thinking” I will accept that the fact that “Significant Other” is here to stay. Why can’t the Modern “Thinkers” allow “Spouse” to be stay also?

 

What’s wrong with this?...

Memberships come with two cards. Share the price of it with a sibling or significant other or your spouse.

Would that be so bad?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Marijuana Hall Of Fame

There is a Statue in the Marijuana Hall of Fame to the genius who came up with the term, “Medical Marijuana”.

 

I don’t know who he is but I think he probably had a Financial Interest in seeing his Stroke of Genius take hold in the Good Ole USofA.

 

Think about this picture...

There is this guy standing on a soapbox spewing out words of wisdom like this...

Ø Gluten is bad for you.

Ø Alcohol is bad for you.

Ø Fast Foods are bad for you.

Ø Smoking is bad for you.

Ø Smoking Marijuana is good for you.

 

In a sane world someone would run up and kick the soapbox from under his feet.

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I am not ready to admit I don’t know what I am talking about. However, I am a Doctor of Silliness. I may be playing with silly words but below is a quote from a real doctor who knows what he is talking about when it comes to Marijuana.

 

He is Dr. Peter B. Bach and he is a pulmonary physician at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York. He directs the Center for Health Policy and Outcomes and he hardly ever says silly things...

“Actual medicines have research behind them, enumerating their benefits, characterizing their harms, and ensuring the former supersedes the latter. Marijuana doesn’t. It’s a toxin, not a medicine. It impairs judgment and driving ability. It increases the risk of psychosis and schizophrenia. Smoking it damages the respiratory tract. A 2017 report from the National Academy of Medicine called the evidence for these harms “substantial.”

 

Claims that marijuana relieves pain may be true. But the clinical studies that have been done compare it with a placebo, not even a pain reliever like ibuprofen. That’s not the type of rigorous evaluation we pursue for medications. What’s more, every intoxicant would pass that sort of test because you don’t experience pain as acutely when you are high. If weed is a pain reliever, so is Budweiser.”

 

If you want to read the whole article about what Dr. Bach had to say on this subject, click here: https://www.wsj.com/articles/if-weed-is-medicine-so-is-budweiser-11547770981

 

Would a Pulmonary Physician kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

Question... Why did you smoke Medical Marijuana right before you went out for your Sunday Afternoon Drive?

Answer... I had pain and I know Medical Marijuana will relieve pain.

Question... Did it relieve your pain?

Answer... Yes, it was amazing, St. Peter, I was pain free right up until the very last moment before my car hit that tree.

The Border Wall/Fence/Barrier Will Always Be With Us

This is a repeat of a repeat.

September 30, 2022 First republished January 18, 2019 

This Silly Blog Is Always Current Because the Foolishness It Brings To Light Never Goes Away

This Blog Posting is approaching its 12^th 16^th Anniversary...

It Is Still As Current As It Was On the Day It Was First Published

That day was June 30, 2007. It’s about The Wall. The only thing that has changed is that back then it was called a “Fence” more than it was called a “Wall”. Now it is called a Wall or sometimes it is called a Fence or sometimes it is called a Barrier.

 

Watch today’s news and you will actually hear Members of Congress saying things like, “I unequivocally opposed to a Wall but I am willing to entertain the idea of a Barrier if it is constructed more akin to a Fence. In the past I have made it clear that I leaned more toward a Fence/Barrier but, due the changing demographics of the situation, I am more inclined to think that a Wall/Barrier that looks like Barrier/Fence is the way I am leaning since last Thursday. Actually I may have changed my set in stone position on this vital issue on Friday a week ago. No wait, it could not have been Friday because I have not worked on a Friday since that President (I forget his name) before President Reagan was in office. You know the one. He grew some kind of Nuts in that state he hailed from. Give me some help here. You know the state. It is the one next to Alabama...Or is it?”

 

The First Published Date Was SATURDAY, JUNE 30, 2007

Quick Border Fence

Wanna know how the Border Fence could be built in a heartbeat? It would be easy. Allow me to explain…

If the Mexican/U.S. Border were being crossed in huge numbers by Mexican Congressmen and Mexican Senators who were taking the positions in our Congress of our sitting Congressmen and Senators and our sitting Congressmen and Senators were losing their jobs, the Border Fence could be built darn near overnight.

Use your mind’s eye to picture with me for a moment...

Ø Members of Congress climbing all over the fence as it was being built.

Ø They are all sweaty but are refusing to take breaks as they work at a feverish pace.

Ø They all have Home Depot Aprons on their sweaty bodies.

Ø They have power tools in hand and other tools stored in their golf bags nearby ready for quick access.

Ø They have nails in their mouths ready for pounding.

Ø Dianne Feinstein is standing guard holding a Tommy Gun and has two 357 Magnum Pistols strapped to her hips.

Ø They are chanting, “Hell no, we won’t press one for English!”   

What a sight!
  
Would I kid u?  

Smartfella

 

They Are Trying To Confuse Us ... Part Next

You, my Dear Readers, are about to read all about why Fella will never run out of Ridiculousness to write Silly Blog Postings about...

Ø It has been announced that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex (aka: Harry and Meghan) will move to Frogmore Cottage in 2019. This proves that they over there are definitely trying to confuse us...
>This “Cottage” has 10 bedrooms.
>Can a 10 bedroom anything really be classified as a “Cottage”?
>A Cottage is, typically, a small house...Or is it?
>Maybe they should have said they were moving into a Rambling Cottage or a Gigantic Cottage or a Modest Castle.

Ø Mini Cooper is an automobile. It is called a “Mimi” because it is a small automobile. Recently they have been using this line in their advertising, “Our Biggest Mimi Yet!”
>This is like saying, “We sell Gigantic Mole Hills”.
>It makes advertising difficult... Come on in! We have a Huge Selection of Little Mini’s! Or... Our Mini Selection is Really Big. Or... Our Mini Cars May be Small but we Charge A lot!

Ø Recently I blogged about our Congress publishing Summary Documents (shorter than the original documents) and Expanded Summaries (which I feared would be longer than the original documents).

Ø A Minority is a Small Group of people within a Large Group of People. On several occasions I have seen discussions in the news about Significant Minorities. Yes, I know what they mean but it just makes me nervous that they do not know what they mean.

Ø Jumbo Shrimp...We have this bit of confusion thanks to George Carlin’s confusion over whether these were Large Shrimp or Small Jumbos.

Ø Miquela Sousa, who recently started gracing billboards from London to Japan is part of an Ugg Advertising Campaign...
>She ticks off all the boxes for the model of the moment because she is Exotic, Attractive and Huge on Instagram.
>She is also entirely Fake.
>She is actually (or should this be not actually?) a computer-generated character who—despite what she says on Instagram—can’t feel the pain of a hangover or appreciate how hard it is to walk in stilettos.
>Miquela is a test of the power of a Social-Media Celebrity.
>Currently Miquela has 1.5 million Instagram Followers.
>It sort of like that brilliant thinker from our past, Arislato, who said, “I know not what the future will bring but there are 2 things I know for sure will never happen. One is Alabama will never lose any game by 4 Touchdowns and the other is the World will never be Foolish enough to fall for a Social-Media Celebrity that does not actually exist because we all know Absurdity when we see it!”...Or does we?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Supposedly Smart People Saying Stupid Things

I have mentioned to my Dear Readers (I hope that’s you) before that I have a folder in my computer entitled “New In Process”. Whenever I Notice something Interesting or Useful or Silly that could be used for a future Blog Posting, I put that something into this folder and I get around to it when I get around to it.

 

Many times I put an idea into the “New In Process” folder and then forget about it because I am continually being presented with new Goofiness that jumps ahead of Absurdities already in the folder.

 

Today there are 298 blog ideas in this folder. The oldest one went into the folder on 2/22/12. Today is that Silly Idea’s day to become a Blog Posting. I know you and the idea are very excited about this...Or are you and it?

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Some of us will never get to be quoted in the Newspapers. It could be that we are not as smart as the people who are actually being quoted in the Newspapers. The News Reporters simply don’t need us because they are smart people and they already have other smart people saying smart things in sufficient quantity for them to fill up their Newspapers with Smart Quotes...Or are they Smart Quotes?

 

Here are some Smart Quotes that made it into my newspaper ahead of what you and I might have wanted to say...

 

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...“I have talked with many Tea Party Supporters and they all say they want anyone but Romney, at least some of them do.”
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote...Does it make sense to say “they all say” in the same sentence as “at least some of them do”?

 

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...”A body was found in 2 different places 5 miles apart and we are treating this as a murder case”.
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote...What are the chances that a non-murdering person would come across a murdered body and decide to cut that dead body into 2 pieces and transport the cut apart part 5 miles away?

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...There was a scare that there was going to be another shooting on Virginia Tech’s Campus and a Smart Person was quoted as saying, “Virginia Tech has had their Fair Share of shootings.”
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote... I did not know we were in the habit of passing out shares of such things. To quibble about this a bit further, would not a fair share of such things actually be an unfair share of such things?

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...Syria has been killing its people in bunches for a year now and a U.S. official said, “We don’t want to take actions that would contribute to the further militarization of Syria because that could take the country down a dangerous path”.
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote...It is now 2019 and I can say with great confidence that we can check off the prediction boxes labeled “Further Militarization of Syria” and “Dangerous Path”.
This kind of thing happens all the time in the Middle East...Someone says to a Middle East Extremist, “Why are you so determined to kill that guy drinking coffee over there? He looks just like you.”
After asking this perfectly logical question you get the indignant response, “Do you know nothing about history? Do you not know what his people did to my people in the year 1277?”

 

Yea, I know I am being picky again. These people had a microphone in their faces and were under great pressure to say something smart and I’m sitting in front of my computer pecking out logic and common sense.

 

It may not be fair but that’s what I have to say about what they had to say.

 

Would I kid u?

Here I Go Being Picky Again

Mitt Romney made a statement that does not make sense and I appear to be the only person to have taken notice.

 

I will post the link to the article that contains this nonsensical quote at the end of this commentary so you can read the article for yourself and know that I did not Misquote, Misconstrue and/or Completely Lie about what Romney said.

 

Here is the quote...

”Romney was pressed further about why he accepted Trump’s endorsement in 2012 despite Trump's contentions that Barack Obama hadn't been born in the U.S.

“I’m sure I’ve made a lot of mistakes, I’ll let the people make the assessment on which things were mistakes and not. But when the president of the United States, frankly of either party, were to say, ‘I’m endorsing your candidacy,’ I think you’d say, 'Thank you very much.'”

Here comes picky me being picky... Remember the question was about Romney’s Run For President in 2012 and he said, “But when the president of the United States, frankly of either party, were to say, ‘I’m endorsing your candidacy,’ I think you’d say, 'Thank you very much.'”

President Trump was not the president in 2012!

I guess Romney was just ahead of his time...Or was he?

 

If you want to check me out, here is the link: https://www.foxnews.com/politics/romney-answering-critics-says-country-is-as-divided-as-ever-since-trump-presidency

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It’s Not My Fault. First I Notice And The Notice Causes Me To Quibble.

I saw this headline on the Internet a couple of days ago…New Congress in 2019: 5 things to watch as lawmakers go back to work.

My Quibble is the use of the phrase “back to work”. I don’t accept the contention that they have been working...Unless you count: Recess, Home Work Period, Vacation, August Break, Holiday Break (formerly known as Christmas Break) or Happy Hour.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Capping Your Hands Is In

I’m not sure how this got started nor am I sure who started it but have you noticed how Celebrities and Politicians are always Clapping At Us?

Politicians...After a politician is introduced, they walk onto the stage Clapping. Should they not wait until they have done something Clap Worthy before they start Clapping? Maybe they have a deep seated need to be Clapped At, and if they waited until they deserved to be Clapped At, they might never be Clapped At so they get the Clapping started right from the get go.

North Koreans...All those look alike North Koreans are really good at Clapping. Their little leader certainly seems to be always Clapping. Maybe it’s because, if they don’t Clap when their little leader Claps, they will get into deep trouble. Imagine how many heads would roll if he walked out Clapping and looked around to see that he was the only Clapper Clapping.

The Middle East...In the Middle East they have a strong incentive to Clap when their leader Claps because, if they don’t, they get to have their Clappers Chopped Off.

Celebrities...Oprah may be the one who started all this Clapping. It could be because she has a deep seated sense of insecurity about what an Oprah does. She does not Sing. She does not Dance. She does not Juggle Bowling Pins. She does Clap and, you have to admit, she is a very good Clapper.

I performed an experiment a few months back that resulted in many of you Dear Readers breaking into Applause at the conclusion of one of my Blog Postings.

It did not work out so well for me because it got me into hot water with the Commissioner of Blogging in Washington, D.C. He Clapped a fine on me saying I was guilty of Blog Falsification because I signed that Blog Posting “Oprah” instead of “Smartfella” and, before you guys knew what you were doing, you had started Clapping.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella