In Case You Forgot, I’m A Noticer.
In the world of business there are many Champions of Commerce. Since you are not as observant as Fella, you probably have not noticed some of the ones I consider obvious.
There are two kinds of categories of people that make it into the Fella Business Hall of Fame
Makes A Lot of Money For Their Employers Category...
Ø Shallow Soup Bowls... > The guys who came up with the Shallow Soup Bowl was responsible for Millions of Soup Bowls being sold into the restaurants of the world which already had (except for breakage) all the soup bowls they would ever have needed.
> When a Shallow Soup Bowl is placed in front of a diner, that diner is really impressed.
>He thinks to himself, “Wow! What a big bowl of soup! I really like this restaurant!”
>Then he gets into eating and talking with his fellow diners and he takes no note of the fact that the bowl stops being a bowl right below the surface of the soup.
>The diner eats his soup, pays $7.95 for $0.27 worth of soup, goes away a little confused (but he does not know why he is confused) and he returns to the Shallow Soup Bowl restaurant again and again.
> When a Shallow Soup Bowl is placed in front of a diner, that diner is really impressed.
>He thinks to himself, “Wow! What a big bowl of soup! I really like this restaurant!”
>Then he gets into eating and talking with his fellow diners and he takes no note of the fact that the bowl stops being a bowl right below the surface of the soup.
>The diner eats his soup, pays $7.95 for $0.27 worth of soup, goes away a little confused (but he does not know why he is confused) and he returns to the Shallow Soup Bowl restaurant again and again.
Ø Congratulations to Our High School Graduates Signs at the Entrance to Every Subdivision in the Good Ole USofA...
> The Sign Maker who came up with this Sign Selling Idea was a Sign Selling Genius.
>The only people who read the Named Graduates on these signs are the Named Graduates and their Relatives and they already know that the Graduates are Graduating.
>Now the Sign Makers have started putting the Logo of the College the Named Graduates are going to attend next to the Named Graduate’s Names.
>A Missing Logo from the names of those not going to College is humiliating those who are not going to College and puts more pressure on the Not Yet Graduated High School Students to go to College when they just might really be more suited to Trade Schools (if they still exist).
>In the past I have blogged about the fact that we are facing a shortage of Butchers, Bakers and Candle Stick Makers in the Good Ole USofA and are being covered up in an over-supply of 2 Year Drinking-Proficient College Dropout “Students” with huge 2 Year Drinking-Proficient College Dropout “Student” Student Loans.
>The Sign Maker who came up with the Generic High School Graduates Sign (did not have the names of the Graduates Listed but only said “Congratulations To This Year’s Graduates”) which could be used year after year was found floating in a river near his sign shop.
> The Sign Maker who came up with this Sign Selling Idea was a Sign Selling Genius.
>The only people who read the Named Graduates on these signs are the Named Graduates and their Relatives and they already know that the Graduates are Graduating.
>Now the Sign Makers have started putting the Logo of the College the Named Graduates are going to attend next to the Named Graduate’s Names.
>A Missing Logo from the names of those not going to College is humiliating those who are not going to College and puts more pressure on the Not Yet Graduated High School Students to go to College when they just might really be more suited to Trade Schools (if they still exist).
>In the past I have blogged about the fact that we are facing a shortage of Butchers, Bakers and Candle Stick Makers in the Good Ole USofA and are being covered up in an over-supply of 2 Year Drinking-Proficient College Dropout “Students” with huge 2 Year Drinking-Proficient College Dropout “Student” Student Loans.
>The Sign Maker who came up with the Generic High School Graduates Sign (did not have the names of the Graduates Listed but only said “Congratulations To This Year’s Graduates”) which could be used year after year was found floating in a river near his sign shop.
Ø TVs in Restaurants...
>If you Google “TVs in Restaurants” you are will find them referred to as Restaurant Clutter.
>If you Google “TVs in Restaurants” you are will find them referred to as Restaurant Clutter.
>The guy who came up with this Stroke of Genius did not know how large the revenue bonanza he was creating truly was.
>He hoped he was going to sell a single TV to every restaurant.
>Little did he know that the restaurants of the Good Ole USofA were going to be populated with somewhere between 2 (Chinese Take Outs) and 53 (Sports Bars) TVs in each dining place.
>Some of these restaurants used to actually be places of relaxation (Sports Bars never were relaxing).
>Hardly anyone pays any attention to what is playing on the TVs (Sports Bars excluded), but everyone is continually distracted by what’s going on on these TVs.
>No one can hear what the TVs are saying to us but every one of us periodically loses track of the table conversation because we find ourselves staring at the silent TV thinking, “I wonder what he just said?”
>The TVs do an excellent job of destroying what little Person to Person Interaction remains after the Smartphone has had its way with us.
>An example of the few people who are not distracted by the TVs during the meal are those that are telling their fellow diners that, since no one pays any attention to them, they are going to commit suicide when they go home tonight because they feel so utterly ignored.
>The people who are told about the impending suicide do not get alarmed because they are distracted by the TV they are not watching and, therefore, are not listening to the future suicidee (yea, I know that’s not a word).
>He hoped he was going to sell a single TV to every restaurant.
>Little did he know that the restaurants of the Good Ole USofA were going to be populated with somewhere between 2 (Chinese Take Outs) and 53 (Sports Bars) TVs in each dining place.
>Some of these restaurants used to actually be places of relaxation (Sports Bars never were relaxing).
>Hardly anyone pays any attention to what is playing on the TVs (Sports Bars excluded), but everyone is continually distracted by what’s going on on these TVs.
>No one can hear what the TVs are saying to us but every one of us periodically loses track of the table conversation because we find ourselves staring at the silent TV thinking, “I wonder what he just said?”
>The TVs do an excellent job of destroying what little Person to Person Interaction remains after the Smartphone has had its way with us.
>An example of the few people who are not distracted by the TVs during the meal are those that are telling their fellow diners that, since no one pays any attention to them, they are going to commit suicide when they go home tonight because they feel so utterly ignored.
>The people who are told about the impending suicide do not get alarmed because they are distracted by the TV they are not watching and, therefore, are not listening to the future suicidee (yea, I know that’s not a word).
Ø Porch Chairs On Porches...
>This is a hold-over useful idea from the Good Ole Days when people used to actually sit in porch chairs and talk to their neighbors who were out for their nightly strolls.
> Today every porch has several porch chairs stationed on them but no one ever sits in them because the potential sitters are all inside their Air-Conditioned Houses sleeping in front of their Big-Screen TVs.
>This is a hold-over useful idea from the Good Ole Days when people used to actually sit in porch chairs and talk to their neighbors who were out for their nightly strolls.
> Today every porch has several porch chairs stationed on them but no one ever sits in them because the potential sitters are all inside their Air-Conditioned Houses sleeping in front of their Big-Screen TVs.
Ø Bottled Water...
>The person who came up with the idea to sell something that people already had an unlimited supply of in their kitchen faucet was probably the Greatest Look Into the Future Guy of all time.
>Actually the first guy to come up with this idea died penniless because he never got over being fired for wasting his company’s Board of Directors’ Valuable Time by presenting to them such a Hair-Brained Scheme.
>The second guy (the Chairman of the Board’s son who presented his Brilliant Bottled Water Idea 20 minutes after the Future Penniless Look Into the Future Guy had presented his Stupid Idea) has a Statue Dedicated to him in the Altoona National Marketing Hall of Fame.
>The person who came up with the idea to sell something that people already had an unlimited supply of in their kitchen faucet was probably the Greatest Look Into the Future Guy of all time.
>Actually the first guy to come up with this idea died penniless because he never got over being fired for wasting his company’s Board of Directors’ Valuable Time by presenting to them such a Hair-Brained Scheme.
>The second guy (the Chairman of the Board’s son who presented his Brilliant Bottled Water Idea 20 minutes after the Future Penniless Look Into the Future Guy had presented his Stupid Idea) has a Statue Dedicated to him in the Altoona National Marketing Hall of Fame.
Stupid Idea But Now We Are Stuck With It Category...
These are the ideas that at first seemed to be the Work of Genius but turned out to be a humongous waste of money because, as soon as the idea was implemented, the competition duplicated it and no competitive advantage was obtained.
Ø Frequent Flyers Programs... What airline does not wish that the Frequent Flyer Program had never been invented?
>Any airline that would have had the Frequent Flyer Program all to itself would have been in the Catbird Seat but no Cats or Birds are anywhere to be seen.
>This has turned into a tremendous business expense since a huge number of personnel had to be hired to administer the program.
>The airline’s customers are now in a continual state of anger at the airline because of the mind boggling number of rules and regulations that have been implemented to keep the customers from taking advantage of the airline.
>If the word “confusion” was not in the dictionary before the Frequent Flyer Program was invented, it certainly would have been put there by the Frequent Flyer Program.
>Any airline that would have had the Frequent Flyer Program all to itself would have been in the Catbird Seat but no Cats or Birds are anywhere to be seen.
>This has turned into a tremendous business expense since a huge number of personnel had to be hired to administer the program.
>The airline’s customers are now in a continual state of anger at the airline because of the mind boggling number of rules and regulations that have been implemented to keep the customers from taking advantage of the airline.
>If the word “confusion” was not in the dictionary before the Frequent Flyer Program was invented, it certainly would have been put there by the Frequent Flyer Program.
Ø Children Play Areas at Fast Food Restaurants... >These Fun Play Areas were envisioned to be the reason why Children and their Parents would flock to any fast food restaurant that had them.
>Now every restaurant has them (except the new fast food restaurants which are now being constructed without them) and all competitive advantage has been lost.
>Actually they are now seen as a competitive disadvantage since restaurants started putting up signs that read,“Parents, if your child licks anything inside this enclosure, your child will not survive the next 24 hours”.
>Now parents are wrapping their children in plastic bags, duct taping their mouths shut and shoving their terrified offspring into the Fun Enclosure in order to keep them protected from the filthy in there.
>Now every restaurant has them (except the new fast food restaurants which are now being constructed without them) and all competitive advantage has been lost.
>Actually they are now seen as a competitive disadvantage since restaurants started putting up signs that read,“Parents, if your child licks anything inside this enclosure, your child will not survive the next 24 hours”.
>Now parents are wrapping their children in plastic bags, duct taping their mouths shut and shoving their terrified offspring into the Fun Enclosure in order to keep them protected from the filthy in there.
I told you I was a Noticer.
I bet you are glad you are not me.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
3 comments:
My old man used to say, "Hell this ain't a bowl, it a damn platter."
He also said Krystal sold "Wish Burger" two pieces of bread an you Wish there was some meat.
I'm glad you noticed
I should have mentioned that the Porch Chairs idea was stolen by Cracker Barrel. Who else would take this idea and put the chairs in front for sale so people could sit and talk while waiting to be called in to eat the Uncle Herschel's special?
The success of selling bottled water is still a mystery idea to me. It started years ago with the marketing of Perrier water from France and somehow morphed into this crazy market we have today. Every time we have a hurricane the first thing everybody seems to do is to buy bottled water....has no one ever thought of filling up the bathtubs with fresh water out of the facet??? CRAZY!!!!!
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