Spreading Discontent Whenever Possible

Our News Media is at it ... again.

Anyone who follows professional football is well aware of the gargantuan contract that Drew Brees has signed. He is now receiving $100,000,000 for 5 years. That may be chump change to members of our 16% Approval Rated Congress but to us folks back home on Main Street gathered around our kitchen tables balancing our meager budgets this is a lot of money.

I keep reading that this is the highest contract for a player in the history of the NFL. There is so much hype about how big it is that I figured it was far and away the biggest contract ever. However, I just read where Peyton Manning is making $96,000,000 with the Denver Broncos over 5 years.

This is the kind of red meat that a member of our National Hysteria Media is going to find hard to resist. I can just picture an interview with poor ole Peyton Manning as the interviewer probes for muck with questions such as these...

• Do you see Brees’ bigger contract as a personal insult?
• It has been reported by an anonymous source who went to elementary school with you who has not seen you in 27 years that deep down you feel that Brees got his larger contract because the Saint’s Ownership feels sorry for him because he has a birth mark on his face. Do you wish you had a birth mark on your face?
• Are your children ashamed of you and your failure to reach the absolute pinnacle of your chosen profession?
• Are your children made fun of at school?
• Is it true your wife is going through therapy because other grocery shoppers are reported to be openly laughing at her as she walks past them at her local Whole Foods?

If you think I have gone too far and you are having a hard time believing me on this one, you should know that you are required to believe all my Football Related Foolishness because on September 17, 1967 I had a one game job as a security guard for Pinkerton Detective Agency when the Saints played their first regular season game. (I was desperate. I did not have a ticket.)

If you can’t believe a former Pinkerton Security Guard, who can you believe?

Would I kid u?

Lagniappe: Regarding the 0 and 3 Saints...We’ll get ‘em next year because next year they will all be a year older and slower.