Sure Way To Reduce Crime

The State of Georgia has decided to ban smoking in its Correctional System (formerly known as Prison System … also formerly known as Da Jail House).

This has gotten the Smartfella? into some deep thinking and that is always an interesting few moments in the Smartfella’s? day. He has come up with a plan that is sure to reduce crime in the good ole USofA.

Step 1 … Get a billion or so dollars from the federal government to run a television advertising campaign to encourage criminals to take up smoking … Real Heavy Smoking. The campaign would look something like this…
• Thinking about robbing a bank? This is not a project that should be executed without careful planning of every devious detail. This is important. Make sure you take the time to properly plan your venture by having a few packs of cigarettes with all your buddies at the Bank Robbery Planning Meetings.
• Working hard at accumulating ill gotten gains for your retirement but feeling the strain of the everyday pressures of sneaking around and staying undercover? You need some time to yourself. You need a friend. You need a cigarette.
Step 2 … Once the bad guys are good and hooked on cigarettes they will think long and hard about continuing to ply their trade for fear of being incarcerated for many years without being able to light up a good smoke. They will be very apprehensive about having to walk that last mile without a Camel.

There is always the possibility that a large number of would-be criminals all at once giving up their chosen profession will be a glut on the law-abiding labor force but we will have to address that thorny issue when and if it happens. The Smartfella? can’t solve all the world’s problems in a single Foolishness…Or Is It? posting.

Having to come up with solutions for all of the world’s ills really puts a lot of pressure on me. It would be a lot easier if I smoked.

Would I kid u?