If you are one to quickly know an financially sound opportunity when you see it, you will be writing a check even before you get to the end of this one...
Back when my Mother used to visit us for various holidays we flew her to wherever we were living at that time...Los Angeles or Detroit or Milwaukee or Detroit (again) or Atlanta or Los Angeles (again) or Atlanta (again). My family was always excited to see her, especially since she was sure to be carrying 5 pounds of Cousin George’s Italian Sausage and several jars of Ma Brown Kosher Dill Pickles (I have never found them outside of New Orleans).
One visit, as my family and I sat waiting in an airport for her to deplane, I watched all the Grandmas from all over the United States who had flown in for the holiday. The idea for this Sure Fire Money Making New Venture hit me like a thunderbolt!
Why not use the computer technology that we have now developed to locate a Grandma that is closer to the where your family lives and bring this, more conveniently located, Grandma over for the holiday? The family whose Grandma you "took" could do the same with a Grandma in their own neighborhood. The computer data bank of available Grandmas could do the locating and arrange for the pick ups and drop offs, etc.
In making this suggestion, I am not being heartless because the Grandma that you had been intending to fly in, at great expense, would likely just have to go a few blocks to her new Holiday Family. On your end you would save a bundle in airfare. (As we roll out this idea, we will surely face strong opposition in Washington, D.C. from the evil paid lobbyists of the Airline Industry.)
The further benefits for the Stay At Home Grandmas are too numerous to list in their entirety but here is a few of the obvious ones:
- Would not have to pack and unpack her suitcases.
- Would not have to stop the newspaper.
- Would not have to stop the mail.
- Would not have to put the dog or cat in a kennel.
- Would not have to get herself to the airport.
- Would not have to suffer the humiliation of being frisked (while that guy with the two foot long beard wearing a robe walked right by her).
- Would not have to have to take off her shoes during the frisking process.
- Would not have to sit in a cramped airplane for hours.
- Would not have to eat airline snacks (they used to get actual food that they would not have to eat).
- Would not have to be endangered by terrorists.
- Would not have to sleep on an unfamiliar bed and pillow while visiting.
- Would not have to fly back home and again be exposed to all the above airline persecutions.
Variety could also be added to your life because your new Grandma quite possibly would introduce your family to her own special cooking talents.
Again computer technology could be used to make this a Win-Win Proposition for all involved by use of computer technology to tailor make your conveniently located grandma. The form where you applied for your substitute Grandma would allow you to fine tune your replacement Grandma…
You would be able to pick from one of the following:
- Black hair
- Brown hair
- Red hair
- Grey hair
- Blue hair
You would be able to specify a cooking specialty:
- Italian
- Mexican
- French
- German
- Chinese
You would be able to select a nationality:
- Anything but French
Become a Charter Owner of GrandmasNearYou.com today! Don't let this opportunity pass you by! Send your check to:
GrandmaNearYou.com
c/o The Smartfella?
What A Deal, GA 30096
Dig deep. The bigger your check the larger will be your percentage of ownership permitting you to become filthly sooner than your fellow investors.
Would I kid you?
2 comments:
1) The Grandma Nearby concept is excellent,, and could be readily expanded to the tremendous lifetime savings that would develop if all men were to select a wife-to-be from the immediate neighborhood, and not the other end of the country. 2) The Chinese do not really have turkeys. With nearly a billion families, we can help them designate a national turkey day, then franchise to them special commerative turkeys. Even at a modest one dollar profit/each,, that is nearly a billion dollars burning holes in our pockets.
Genius. One question. Who pay medical expenses if on the likely chance there is a collision with a reindeer
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