Friday, December 09, 2022

Final Notice...Or is it?

 

If you are like me the daily mail comes in each day chock full of opportunities to spend (throw away?) your money...

Ø Political contributions

Ø Contributions to children’s hospitals

Ø Contributions to the people devastated by the most recent hurricane

Ø Contributions to military organizations

Ø Extended car warranties

Ø Contributions to send My Pillow Slippers to the homeless in San Francisco

Ø Political contributions

Ø Contributions to keep Jews from starving to death in Israel

Ø Extended home warranties

Ø Contributions to research for every kind of disease you can imagine

Ø Political contributions

Ø Chances to win stuff

Ø Requests to buy my house

Ø Contributions to the people who are going to be devastated by the next hurricane

Ø Political contributions

Many annoying envelopes like Extended Home Warranties and Extended Car Warranties tell me that this is their Final Notice to me. They threaten me that, if I don’t give them my money now, they will not take my money later.

There was a time in my Silly past where I actually thought to myself...If I give them money now they will take me off their list. Little did I know that the Next Time Letter was already in the mail as I was writing my check in response to the This Time Letter.

I wish I could sue them for Envelope Falsification or Excruciating Annoyance or Unnecessary Wear and Tear on My Shredder.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Wednesday, December 07, 2022

A Doctor Deciding What Sex To Put On The Birth Certificate Used To Be Easy. Take A Look. Write It Down. That Was Then. This Is Now. It’s Not So Easy Anymore.


My last Blog Posting talked to you about Palm Springs and San Francisco’s Guaranteed Income for Trans People Programs. Mostly it talked about San Francisco’s Free Money Program. San Francisco’s Program asks the applicants to specify their Gender Options and actually lays out in great detail more than 130 Gender Options for them to choose from.

Knowing that my Dear Readers would love to inform themselves about all of this craziness I have spelled out a chunk of it for your Enjoyment, Education and Confusion...

Trans Status (Check all that apply):

Ø Transgender

Ø Non-Binary

Ø Gender Non-Conforming

Ø Intersex

Ø None of the above

Pronouns (Check all that apply):

Ø She/her/hers

Ø He/him/his

Ø They/them/theirs

Ø It/its/its

Ø Co/co/cos

Ø Zie/zim/zis

Ø Ze/hir/hirs

Ø Xe/xem/xyrs

Ø Ey/em/eirs

Ø E/em/eirs

Ø Per/per/pers

Ø Fae/faer/faers

Ø Ae/aer/aers

Ø Tey/ter/ters

Ø Ve/ver/vis

Ø No pronouns/just name

Ø Declined

Ø Not listed __________________

Gender Identity (Check all that apply):

Ø Cis-gender woman

Ø Woman

Ø Transgender Woman

Ø Woman of Trans experience

Ø Woman with a history of gender transition

Ø Trans feminine

Ø Feminine-of-center

Ø MTF (male-to-female)

Ø Demigirl

Ø T-girl

Ø Transgirl

Ø Sistergirl

Ø Cis-gender man

Ø Man

Ø Transgender man

Ø Man of Trans experience

Ø Man with a history of gender transition

Ø Trans masculine

Ø Masculine-of-center

Ø FTM (female-to-male)

Ø Demiboy

Ø T-boy

Ø Transguy

Ø Brotherboy

Ø Trans

Ø Transgender

Ø Transsexual

Ø Non-binary

Ø Genderqueer

Ø Agender

Ø Xenogender

Ø Fem

Ø Femme

Ø Butch

Ø Boi

Ø Stud

Ø Aggressive (AG)

Ø Androgyne

Ø Tomboy

Ø Gender outlaw

Ø Gender non-conforming

Ø Gender variant

Ø Gender fluid

Ø Genderfuck

Ø Bi-gender

Ø Multi-gender

Ø Pangender

Ø Gender creative

Ø Gender expansive

Ø Third gender

Ø Neutrois 6

Ø Intergender

Ø Maverique

Ø Novigender

Ø Two-spirit

Ø Hijra

Ø Kathoey

Ø Muxe

Ø Khanith/Xanith

Ø X-gender

Ø MTX

Ø FTX

Ø Bakla

Ø Mahu

Ø Fa’afafine

Ø Waria

Ø Palao’ana

Ø Ashtime

Ø Mashoga

Ø Mangaiko

Ø Chibados

Ø Tida wena

Ø Bixa’ah

Ø Alyha

Ø Hwame

Ø Lhamana

Ø Nadleehi

Ø Dilbaa

Ø Winkte

Ø Ninauposkitzipxpe

Ø Machi-embra

Ø Quariwarmi

Ø Chuckchi

Ø Whakawahine

Ø Fakaleiti

Ø Calaba 7

Ø Questioning

Ø I don’t use labels

Ø Declined

Ø Not Listed: __________________________

Sexual Orientation (Check all that apply):

Ø Aromantic

Ø Asexual

Ø BDSM/Kink

Ø Bisexual

Ø Demisexual

Ø Dyke

Ø Faggot

Ø Gay

Ø Lesbian

Ø Non-monogamous

Ø Pansexual

Ø Polyamorous

Ø Queer

Ø Same-Gender

Ø Loving

Ø Skoliosexual

Ø Heterosexual (Straight)

Ø T4T (Trans 4 Trans)

Ø Don’t Know

Ø Not Listed: __

The people who compiled the above lists are brilliant! They obviously come from a group of Deep Thinkers who are fundamentally opposed to putting their fellow Americans into Pigeon Holes.

Did you notice how they started each section of the listings with the opportunity for them to be all they can be by including these words, “Check all that apply”? It gives me great solace to know that these Flexible Gendered People are not forced to be rigid in their selection of who they think they really are at this point in their confused lives...

Ø For Trans Status: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they are Intersex they can say they are Intersex and Gender Non-Conforming and None of the above.

Ø For Pronouns: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they choose to be addressed by Zie they can say they choose to be addressed as Zie and Cos and Declined.

Ø For Gender Identity: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they choose Women of Trans Experience they can say they choose to be a Women of Trans Experience and Cis-Gender Man and Declined.

Ø For Sexual Orientation: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they choose BDSM/Kink they can say they choose to be a BDSM/Kink and Same-Gender and Don’t Know.

Note I gave examples of three selections each but the real beauty of all of this is they can choose 1 or 2 or 3 or any number more than 3!

The only choice I can see that is missing is, All Of The Above.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you care to read all about it, the link to all of it is...

https://www.giftincome.org/_files/ugd/40a234_fa065a88cf9b481bbae6e47c5598270c.pdf

 

 

 

Tuesday, December 06, 2022

It Is Absolutely Crazy That They Say We Are Crazy For Thinking They Are Crazy

 

In April of 2022 Palm Springs, California started giving Guaranteed Income to Trans Gender Residents. Fella wonders if there are other groups as deserving of Free Money as much as Trans People are deserving of Free Money?...

Ø Why not give money to adults who were former children who were bullied in Grammar School?

Ø Why not give money to the descendants of Albanians killed in 1912 and 1913 by Serbia and Montenegro? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacres_of_Albanians_in_the_Balkan_Wars.

Ø Why not give money to people with spaces between their front teeth?

Thank heaven Palm Springs is the only place where Silly People live.

************

Oops! Looks like I spoke too soon...

Not to be out done by Palm Springs, on 11/17/22 San Francisco launched a campaign to prove that it can be just as Silly as Palm Springs.

Did you just say Fella is being Foolish to say that San Francisco is being Silly? OK, Smarty Pants, here are bullets from an article about San Francisco’s Free Money for Trans Program which will serve as proof of which I speak...

  • This week, San Francisco launched a guaranteed income program for transgender residents to receive payments each month for up to 18 months. 
  • Mayor London Breed announced Wednesday that the Guaranteed Income for Trans People (G.I.F.T.) Program will provide transgender people with $1,200/month for a year and a half.
  • We know that our trans communities experience much higher rates of poverty and discrimination, so this program will target support to lift individuals in this community up, Breed said in a statement. We will keep building on programs like this to provide those in the greatest need with the financial resources and services to help them thrive.
  • According to the Guaranteed Income for Transgender People Program G.I.F.T. website, the City will prioritize transgender, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people of color who are homeless, or living with a disability or chronic illness, or an illegal alien, and apply for the program.

Here are a couple of news article links to dissuade you from thinking I made up this Foolishness... https://townhall.com/tipsheet/madelineleesman/2022/11/17/san-fran-guaranteed-income-transgender-policy-n2616073

https://www.foxnews.com/us/san-francisco-launches-guaranteed-income-program-transgender-people

I could stop this Blog Posting right after the next paragraph taken from the second link above which will prove that I know of which I speak when I say These People Are Confused Crazy!...

According to its website, the program will prioritize the following demographics for enrollment: "transgender, non-binary, gender non-conforming, and intersex people who are also Black, indigenous, or people of color (BIPOC), experiencing homelessness, living with disabilities and chronic illnesses, youth and elders, monolingual Spanish-speakers, and those who are legally vulnerable such as TGI people who are undocumented, engaging in survival sex trades, ​or are formerly incarcerated."

Can anyone (including the Mental Midget who wrote the above paragraph) actually understand what this paragraph means?

The Mayor says the program will “provide those in the greatest need with the financial resources and services to help them thrive”.

Fella’s question is what if, at the end of 18 months, those chosen are not thriving enough? Will there be provisions established for them to extend their Free Money for a longer period of time until there is evidence that their Thriving will continue on until they know they have entered into a period of Ongoing Thriving?

Will the Free Money application have a final paragraph in it that goes like this...

At that point in the future when you decide you have enough Free Money and you are confident that your Thriving will continue for the rest of your life please notify us and we will stop giving you Free Money.

************

My Dear Readers, don’t fight this. We all know that the Constitution of the United States of America plainly states...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Thriving.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella



 


Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Nothing For Sale

In case you have forgotten I Am The Noticer. I notice things that go on around me that the other people do not notice going on around them. It’s a gift...Or is it.

Here is what I am noticing today...

We are surrounded by Nothingness. We pay good money for products that have nothing in them. Why do we do that? Why do we look at the ingredients in products and see all that is not there and say,

“Wow! That’s Great! What a bargain this is!”?

Here are the kinds of missing things that get us all excited because they are missing...

Ø No Antibiotics

Ø No Artificial Flavors

Ø No Cholesterol

Ø No Comedogenic

Ø No Dyes

Ø No Formaldehyde

Ø No Fragrance

Ø No Gluten

Ø No GMO

Ø No Lanolin

Ø No Masking Fragrance

Ø No MSG

Ø No MSG Added

Ø No Nuts

Ø No Parabens

Ø No Preservatives

Ø No Propellant

Ø No Saturated Fats

Ø No Soap

Ø No Sodium

Ø No Sugar

Why do we have to pay for these products? There is nothing in these products to pay for!

************

Here is a commentary that is almost related to my Foolishness above.

Those of you who have been reading my Foolishness for awhile have heard me say this...

70% of Americans are on a Gluten Free Diet and 80% of that 70% Do Not Know What Gluten Is

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sunday, November 27, 2022


Internet Security is woeing me a lot! This craziness below probably took about 2 hours of my time one day recently and it involved my Amazon Account...

Ø The number of times I have gotten into my Amazon Account is a whopping big number.

Ø I know how to get in because it is easy...Or it used to be.

Ø That awful day I could not get into Amazon Account! 

Ø I know from experience that Amazon likes for me to get into it because I often leave money in Amazon’s Big Pockets before I get out.

Ø The hitch in my Get In Get Along was Amazon kept promising to send me a Text Message so I could verify who I was.

Ø I still am the person who got in all those other times but this time Amazon was concerned that I might not be who I was all those other times when I was me.

Ø They call this Two-Step Verification.

Ø I used to think Two-Step Verification was a necessary Security Hoop but now I am not so sure.

Ø I repeatedly asked for the Verification Text to be sent to me.

Ø Amazon repeatedly said they had sent Verification Texts to me but I never got any of them. 

Ø I had my wife send me a Text Message to make sure I could get a Text Message and I got her text with no problem.

Ø I called them on my phone twice.

Ø I was put on hold by the first representative I talked to, and while I was on hold, she must have gone on break and forgot she had left me on hold or she knew I was on hold but she wanted to see how long I would stay on hold before I hung up.

Ø I hung up.

Ø After I hung up the Rep Who Would Not Come Back sent me a “helpful” message that contained 624 Words and 9 Different Links.

It’s at times like these that I wonder if the Internet is worth all the time spent on doing what it dictates we do.

Ø I did not even bother to read her "helpful" text because it would have made me feel helpless to get that much help.

Ø On the second call the representative told me I had been Locked Out of My Account.

Ø I asked why it had been Locked Out of My Account but she did not seem to know why.

Ø I asked why Amazon had not told me I had been Locked Out of My Account (instead of just being confronted by a screen that did nothing) and again she did not seem to know why.

What a waste of time! If I wanted to waste my time I could have written a paper about how to solve the Middle East Situation. That would be a waste of time because no one in the Middle East, the Far East, the Near East or Toledo would read it.

Maybe Amazon does not want any more of my money but that can’t possibly be because every so often I get a Pop Up from Amazon that asks, “If you have money left, Click Here”.

************

Speaking of the Middle East Situation I can wrap up this Blog Posting by telling all of  you why the Middle East Situation will never be resolved...

Ø One day I was sitting in a Coffee Shop in the Middle East drinking coffee with a friend who was of the Middle Eastern Extraction.

Ø My friend said to me, “You see that man drinking his coffee over by that potted plant? I hate him with every fiber of my being and someday I will kill him and his entire family!”

Ø I said to my friend, “Why do you feel that way? He looks like a nice guy. He is dressed the same way you dress. He even looks like he could be your brother.”

Ø My friend said to me, “You don’t understand because you don’t know what his ancestors did to my ancestors in the year 1277!”

Ø I said to my friend, “Now I understand”...Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Thursday, November 24, 2022

 

Does it not seem like Members of our 9% Approval Rating Congress are unable to become firmly fixed in their long-held positions on any subject until the opposition has stated what their long-held positions are?

It does not matter that the position taken makes sense or not. The important thing is a counter position must be put into the Congressional Record. In the future, if someone reads the Congressional Record and then says, “That does not make any sense”, and if the person who hears those words is a seasoned Congressional Observer, he will say, “What’s your point?”

Ø If one side says that Apple Pie is great, the other side would counter that apples have that hard little stem thingy sticking out of them that could get caught in a Crawling Age American’s throat and cause him to choke.

Ø If one side says Cute Little Puppies are really Cute, the other side would look shocked and dismayed that their side would take such a reckless position because everyone knows that Cute Little Puppies poop a lot and that stuff gets on the bottom of your shoes and makes a mess.

Ø If Senator Foghorn accuses Senator Whiplash’s side the aisle of always being automatically against anything proposed by his side of the aisle. On the other side Senator Whiplash would look horrified and he would counter that he thinks his esteemed colleague on the other side of the aisle has completely lost it. As proof of this he would point out that only yesterday he and his colleges on his side of the aisle voted unanimously with the Senator Foghorn’s side of the aisle against that crazy proposal from crazy Senator Teatoddler which would have Outlawed Happy Hour.

************

If Fella had his way our 9% Approval Rated Congress be required to take this Fella Test...

Ø One side would listen to the other side take a position.

Ø Then the other side would listen to the one side take the opposite position.

Ø Then we would have the Federal Department of Making People Forget What They Just Said zap their Recollection Thingamajigs and make them go blank so they can’t remember the positions they have just taken.

Ø Then Fella would bribe a member of one side or the other to propose the complete opposite position of the argument on which they just finished firmly embracing as their long-held belief before they were zapped.

Ø I bet you dollars to donuts that the opposite side would take the opposite position (without being bribed) to the position they just had just said was their position before their Recollection Thingamajigs were made it go blank.

I worked very hard to make sure this Blog Posting was not confusing. Aren't you glad I did?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Senator Duck (also known as Daffy) said this on the floor of the Senate a few moments ago...”I just over heard my good friend on the other side of the aisle call me a Yes Man when it comes to anything the leader of my party proposes. In the strongest terms I object to this characterization! Why only yesterday my Leader said No and did you not hear me say No immediately after he said No! Now I ask you does that sound like something a Yes Man would say?