The Devil Made Me Do It But It Makes No Nevermind Because It’s About To Be Legal

I picked this up from the Wall Street Journal and 2 different Internet Sites...

 

Demonstrators massed through the streets of Bucharest, Romania—as well as smaller towns and cities throughout the country—shouting “thieves, thieves!” The protesters condemned an emergency ordinance decree that decriminalized the theft of public funds when the amount involved is less than $48,000.

The leader of the ruling Social Democratic Party is on trial for diverting a sum just short of that.

The protests, among the largest the country has seen since the fall of communism in 1989, began after the decree was passed without the vote of Parliament.

 

Let me see if understand what’s going on here...

Ø A public official steals just under $48,000.

Ø That public official passes a decree which says that stealing just over what he stole is not illegal.

Ø The public official passed the decree without the vote of Parliament by decreeing the decree all by himself.

 

I have been accused of making things up because I sometimes make things up but I’m not sure even I could make up this one...Or could I?...Or have I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: The above Foolishness...Or Is It was written yesterday. Yesterday again came before today & today my newspaper tells me that the Decree Maker has withdrawn his Awful Decree. Personkind has dodged another bullet but we ought to stay alert because the Evil People out there have more bullets. Actually they seem to have an unlimited supply.

I Can’t Believe I Am About To Say This!

I have Blogged more than once about the fact that we have Too Many Laws. Am I now going to go back on this prior stated position and propose that our 11% Approval Rated Congress pass another law? It appears that’s exactly what I am going to do.

 

We often hear said, or say ourselves, that We Have a Fundamental Right in the Good Ole USofA to Demonstrate. This is how we can convey to our Rulers what our concerns are about the way our country is headed...

Ø We demonstrate.

Ø The government becomes aware of our concerns.

Ø The government takes a second look at what has upset us.

Ø The government sees the error of its ways or sees that it is politically advantageous to them to acquiesce to our concerns.

Ø The government gives in to our demands.

Ø We have made the Good Ole USofA a better place to live in for ourselves and for future generations.

Ø We go back to making widgets and writing blogs.

 

There is a Big Fly in this Ointment. Is it proper that the very wealthy pay demonstrators to demonstrate? Is this not not conveying the concerns of the citizens but conveying the wants of the very wealthy?

 

Think about it...

Is it not possible that policy changes that result from successful paid demonstration just might be the wishes of only the single Very Rich Person who financed the demonstration?

 

Does this sound like a Fundamental Right to you or is it a Fundamental Right gone amuck?

 

OK, I’ll come right out and say it...

It ought to be against the law to pay demonstrators to demonstrate.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Do you think I am about to get audited by the IRS? Actually, I feel certain I don’t have to worry about an audit. The only one who reads this Blog is you and you don’t work for the IRS...Or do u?

Dear Federal Government, Your Policy Is Not Working

Your policy of Making Like North Korea does not exist is not working. They are out there and they are making some really Provocative Statements and/or Threats directed at the Good Ole USofA, South Korea & Japan.

 

Did I just hear you say to your collective selves, “What Provocative Statements and/or Threats?” Where have you been? Try these on for size...

·        North Korea has said its main nuclear complex was working again and it was working on weapons to use against the United States.

·        North Korea has said it would fire without warning at South Korean naval vessels.

·        North Korea has said it will strike in any waters it wants to and wipe out the hostile forces infringing upon the sovereignty and dignity of North Korea.

·        North Korea once said all foreigners and foreign-run businesses in the South should draw up evacuation plans. (Don’t know the outcome of this demand. Our News Media is not very good at reporting outcomes. They specialize in publishing stuff for us to worry about.)

·        North Korea is continuously issuing shrill warnings about what it describes as likely armed conflict on the peninsula.

·        Awhile back North Korea told diplomats in Pyongyang that their safety couldn’t be guaranteed beyond the following week. (Don’t know the outcome of this demand. Our News Media is not very good at reporting outcomes. They specialize in publishing stuff for us to worry about.)

·        North Korea has warned that the U.S. should not forget that the Anderson Air Force Base on Guam (where B-52 bombers are based) and naval bases in Japan and Okinawa (where nuclear-powered submarines are berthed) are within the striking range of their precision strike capabilities.

·        North Korea has stated that, now that the U.S. started open nuclear blackmail and threat, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, will move to take corresponding military actions.

·        Their young and unpredictable leader, Kim Jong-Un, reacted with anger to something or other and threatening to attack America, South Korea and Japan.

·        Their young and unpredictable leader, Kim Jong-Un, toured military units calling for them to prepare for “all-out war”.

·        North Korea has confirmed it has pulled out of an armistice with its "enemies" and added the next step will be an act of merciless military retaliation.

·        North Korea has stated that America, South Korea and Japan should be well advised to keep in mind that the armistice agreement is no longer valid and North Korea is not restrained by the North-South declaration on non-aggression.

 

Fella Observation: North Korea’s official long name is the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Why is it that governments who hate Democracy & in no way can be considered Republics, so many times call themselves “Democratic and/or Republic”?

 

My dear readers, now that I have made you nervous about North Korea, please allow me to relieve some of your anxiety. Last year the Obama Administration State Department released a statement directed at North Korea that is certain to make them nervous...

“We continue to call on North Korea to refrain from irresponsible provocations that aggravate regional tensions and instead focus on fulfilling its international obligations and commitments.”

That oughta do it...Or will it?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I am not sure our Congress is even aware of exactly where the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea actually is. I know that many members of Congress do read my blog and, I always like to help them out whenever I can, so I am including in this blog posting a map of Korea.

Lagniappe 2: Dear Members of Congress, do you see North Korea? It’s right under China. China is really big. You do see China, don’t you...Or don’t u?

Yesterday Was A Whirlwind Day!

For those who don’t follow NBA Basketball, you might not know the Golden State Warriors are being touted as one of the greatest teams, if not the greatest team, in the history of the NBA.

 

For example, Saturday they played a very good Los Angeles Clippers team and won by 46 points. Their 2-Time MVB (last 2 seasons) scored 46 points and he did not play at all in the 4^th quarter.

 

However, the team’s management has decided they need one more piece of the puzzle to win the NBA Championship this year...me.

 

I was contacted by the team yesterday and told that they wanted me to sign a contract and fly out immediately to join the team for their next game. The amount of money they initially offered me was unbelievably high.

 

Seeing their desperation, I decided to press for even more money. We negotiated for about 2 hours and they finally agreed to my ridiculous money demands. They complimented me on my negotiating skills and we wrapped up the terms of the contract right there on the phone.

 

My wife had already started packing my bag with my lucky socks when, almost as an aside, they asked me if I had a beard. I said I did not and they said, “We can’t use you” and hung up the phone.

 

I just sat there stunned.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Felt So Sorry For Him

I was walking along minding my own business and then I noticed something. If you are one of my Dear Readers, you already know that I’m a Noticer.

 

Actually this was a Hit-You-In-The-Face Notice. This college age boy was sitting on the curb with his feet in a muddy gutter crying uncontrollably. He looked so very distraught that I had to stop and see if I could help him.

 

I knelt down beside him and asked in my most concerned voice, “You look so unhappy. Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

He did not even look up as he responded, “No, you can’t help me because, with every fiber of my being, I wanted Herman Coznif to be my President and he only got one vote and that was my vote! This means he did not even vote for himself.”

 

He went on, “I don’t know how I will be able to go on not seeing him on the news shows every day making legendary and inspiring speeches, hearing him being quoted about and seeing him sign Executive Orders”.

 

Try as I might, and I tried my best, I could not console him. I decided I would have to leave him in his miserable state and I got up to walk away. I took a few steps and turned back and asked him, “How many Participation Trophies do you have?”

 

He answered back, “73. Why do you ask?”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Remember Imelda & Muammar

Imelda Marcos was the First Lady of the Philippians for 21 years while her husband Ferdinand was the President of the Philippians. If you don’t know about Imelda Marcos and her supply of shoes...Google It!

If you have better things to do than Google “Imelda Marcos Shoes”, here is a tidbit I Googled for you...

Ø Imelda loved shoes!

Ø There is a museum dedicated to her shoes where 200 of her 1,200 pairs of shoes are on display for all to see, admire and envy.

Ø Her shoes were not necessarily very expensive but, when she bought shoes, she bought them in great quantity and she bought shoes often.

 

Some of her shoes...

 

Here is the entrance to her museum...

 

Here is the inside of the her museum...

 

Shoes were not her only extravagance...

Ø On one occasion, she spent $2,000 on chewing gum at the San Francisco International Airport.

Ø On another occasion, she forced a plane to do a U-Turn mid-air just because she forgot to buy cheese in Rome.

 

And then there was Muammar Kaddafi of Libya…

He may have had more Silly Hats than Imelda Marcos had cheap shoes.

 

Years ago, before Muammar Kaddafi was made dead I and the world were very worried about him. Not being one to just sit around and worry, I devised a plan to make him change his ways by cutting off his supply of Silly Hats...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you not now see why we would have had complete control over him, if only we had threatened to cut off his Supply of Silly Hats? The man just loved Absurd and Silly Hats!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Yea, I know that last one is not Muammar…Or is it?

The Question Is...Are You Done Yet?...Or Is It Have You Started Yet?

Let’s go back again to that fancy hotel I went to last month.

 

There I was eating my breakfast and minding my own business and I started Noticing...

Ø This 20s Something Father came back from the Breakfast Buffet Line with a plate of food that caught my Noticing Mechanism’s attention.

Ø What I noticed was the fact that Modern Father had a real big pile of food on his plate.

Ø Low & Behold (we used to say “Low & Behold” a lot when I was 20s Something Father’s age), he put his plate in front of his 6 Year-Old Son.

Ø He then went back to the Breakfast Buffet and shortly returned with a plate of food that was about the same size as his 6 Year-Old Son’s.

Ø While he was gone his 6 Year-Old Son paid hardly any attention to his Really Big Pile of Food but he devoted almost all his attention toward playing with his Action Figure.

Ø During the course of their meal 6 Year-Old Son played with his action figure, moved his pile of food around a bit and took a few nibbles every so often (actually he seemed to specialize more in the “So” than “Often”).

 

I have included a picture the 6 Year-Old’s Food Plate. You might have trouble discerning whether it is a Before or After Picture but I’ll give you a hint.

 

It is an After Picture. If you look closely, you can tell it is an After Picture because a nibble or two has been taken here and there.

 

Actually the Nibbles are not all Nibbles. Some of them are places where 6 Year-Old Child smashed his Action Figure head first into his food after it had leaped off the napkin holder.

 

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

We Used To Say, “Easy As Pie”. Now We Have Moved On To, “Easy As Alexa”.

There is no way Amazon can not make a lot of money now that this story has made the news... 

Who needs Santa? 6-year-old orders dollhouse and cookies from Amazon's Alexa

(CNN)...“ Megan Neitzel couldn't figure out why an expensive dollhouse and four pounds of sugar cookies were delivered to her Dallas home. She didn't order either. Neither had her husband.

Then she talked to her 6-year-old daughter, Brooke.

"The next morning, I asked my daughter and Brooke said, 'I was talking to Alexa about a dollhouse and cookies.'

Alexa is not a sister or imaginary friend, but the voice-activated digital assistant in Amazon's Echo Dot.

Brooke asked Alexa to, "Order me a dollhouse and cookies," and that's just what Alexa did.

A KidKraft Sparkle Mansion dollhouse, which costs about $170, and a tin of Royal Dansk sugar cookies soon arrived.

A check of Neitzel's Amazon app confirmed the order was made after Brooke asked the digital gadget, "Can you play dollhouse with me and get me a dollhouse?"

Brooke then told Alexa, "I love you so much!"

How is Amazon going to make so much money off of this? Don’t you see it?...

Ø They will sell a lot more Amazon Enabled Echo Thingies (Dots $49.99, Taps $129.99 and Echos $179.99) because everyone now knows how easy it is to use them.

Ø They will sell a lot more of darn near everything else they sell, which is darn near everything, because everyone now knows how easy it is to use Dots, Taps and Echos.

Ø In addition, all kinds of children who now know how to talk and read this story will start ordering darn near everything because they now know how easy it is to use Dots, Taps and Echos.

Ø Finally children who don’t know how to read will start ordering darn near everything as soon as they learn how to read this story about how easy it is to use Dots, Taps and Echos.

I can’t help but wonder if this is a Fake News Story planted by Amazon to sell darn near everything.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Time’s Magazine’s Brilliant People & Their Not So Brilliant Plan Of Action

I have not bought a Time Magazine in decades. I’m not sure how long it was since I bought one but I think the price was somewhere around $.50. Based on what I paid for the one I just bought, it will probably be the last one I ever buy.

 

I paid $6.99. When the clerk told me the price I said, “No, I don’t want a six-pack. I just want one”.

 

I became curious about what would make those Brilliant People at Time Magazine think they could charge $6.99 for their magazine. You know what happens when I get curious.

 

You guessed it. I put on my Potted Plant Outfit and drove to Time’s Headquarters in New York City and slithered my way into their board meeting. What I found out was these brilliant people who run Time Magazine are not too smart.

 

Here is their plan for the future...

Ø They are going to continue to raise the price of their magazine.

Ø They are planning to go after a smaller market of very rich people.

Ø I actually heard one of them say, “Once we get the price up to $1,000,000 an issue we will have it made”.

Ø They have figured out they will only need to sell 10 issues per publication at $1,000,000 and they will be in able to make an excellent profit that will generate very nice bonuses into the foreseeable future.

------------------------

Actually, as illogical as this thinking is, I see another major problem on the horizon for Time Magazine.

 

In my $6.99 issue I read a story about the recent Presidential Election that contained this quote from a Hillary Clinton supporter, “I thought, when Hillary becomes President, girls will be treated better. Boys wouldn’t boss them around anymore.”

 

I will not get into any commentary about whether or not there is any basis in fact about why this would be true or not. I would like to make you aware that this quote came from a 10 Year Old Girl.

 

Does Time Magazine really think it can get us to spend somewhere between $6.99 to $1,000,000 an issue by interviewing 10 Year Old Children?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Don’t Know Who’s Training Our Criminals to Be Criminals But They Are Doing A Bad Job Of It

There once was a time when people who did bad things to other people tried to hide the fact that they were doing bad things to other people.

 

They used to wear masks and sneak around in the dark to conceal who they were. They did their level best to hide their identity and made every effort to not get caught.

 

All of this has changed and it has The Fella in a quandary.

 

Did you just say, “Fella, what the heck are you talking about? Give me one example of criminals exposing and identifying themselves so that they end up being apprehended by the authorities because they exposed and identified themselves.”

 

The Fella says back to you, “WhatsDaMatterFaYou”? Have you not been reading the newspapers or watching the news on TV or overhearing the conversation at the next table in Starbucks or listening to the car radio while you drive around texting?

 

The four teenagers who tortured a Special-Needs (formerly known as Handicapped) 18-year-old for somewhere around 25 minutes not only did awful things but they wanted to world to know what they had done and who they were that had done these awful things because they Streamed their awful things on Facebook Live.

 

I admit I am Grasping At Straws here but I’m looking for an explanation as to why they wanted to expose themselves to capture like this. It came to me that maybe they did not know what they were doing was wrong and, therefore, their actions would not upset people. I quickly realized that this was an erroneous Straw Grasping because they have been charged with...

Ø A hate crime.

Ø Felony aggravated kidnapping.

Ø Aggravated unlawful restraint.

Ø Aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

Ø Residential burglary.

Ø Possession of a stolen motor vehicle.

 

I Googled to find out which company trained these 4 Mental Midgets and found out they are graduates of one of the industry’s largest training companies, Criminal Trainers R Us.

 

I sure hope they have a money back guarantee so they can get their stolen tuition money back.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella