Becoming A Naturalized Citizen Of The United States

There are some among us that believe that we have an obligation to take into our country anyone who wants to come into our country for whatever reason they want to come into our country.

If you take the time to read through the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services...Citizenship Through Naturalization you will not find the following bullet points spelled out as valid reasons for becoming a citizen...

Ø Wants to come to America because of a strong desire to get rid of the U.S. Constitution and to replace it with Sharia Law.

Ø Wants to come here to be closer to the places he wants to blow up.

Ø Wants to become an American Citizen because he has a very contagious disease and the people that he is making sick in his home country are telling him to go away.

 

Here are some interesting parts of Citizenship Through Naturalization that you will not hear about on the Nightly News...

Ø An applicant for naturalization must show that he or she has been and continues to be a person attached to the principles of the Constitution of the United States and well disposed to the good order and happiness of the United States during the statutorily prescribed period.​

Ø An applicant who is hostile to the basic form of government of the United States, or who does not believe in the principles of the Constitution, is not eligible for naturalization.​ 

Ø The applicant must understand that he or she is sincerely and absolutely renouncing all foreign allegiance.

Ø The applicant must understand that he or she is giving true faith and allegiance to the United States, its Constitution and Laws.

Ø The applicant must understand that he or she is discharging all duties and obligations of citizenship including military and civil service when required by the law.

Ø The applicant’s true faith and allegiance to the United States​include supporting and defending the principles of the Constitution by demonstrating an acceptance of the democratic, representational process established by the U.S. Constitution, and the willingness to obey the laws which result from that process.​

Ø The officer will review an applicant’s record and testimony during the interview on the naturalization application to determine whether he or she was ever a member of or in any way associated with (either directly or indirectly) the Communist Party, any other totalitarian party or​ a terrorist organization.​

Ø Current and previous membership in these organizations may indicate a lack of attachment to the Constitution and an indication that the applicant is not well-disposed to the good order and happiness of the United States.​  Membership in these organizations may also raise issues of​ ​lawful admission, good moral character​ or may even render the applicant removable.​

 

If you think I am making things up again and want to read for yourself, go to https://www.uscis.gov/us-citizenship/citizenship-through-naturalization and read all about it.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Many practitioners of Sharia Law believe in limiting Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech & Freedom of Assembly. This does not sound very U.S. Constitutional to me.

 

Lagniappe Part 2: Hey, I just went over 60,000 Page Views! That is a momentous milestone because that’s just about what Katy Perry (whoever that is?) gets in a day.

 

Did You Forget Something?

I can only assume that this sign on the front door of my local Walmart is necessary because children have been forgotten by bargain hungry shoppers dashing into the store.

 

When I saw the sign I turned around and headed back into the parking lot to see if there were any little head sticking out of car windows gasping for air. They were all over the lot!

 

I started stopping the fleeing parents and, with my Smartphone in hand, began recording interviews with them. People today love to be interviewed. Everyone I approached stopped and submitted to an interview (after brushing their hair with their hands and straightening the holes in the knee cap area of their jeans).

 

I asked each one of them the same question, “Do you know you are leaving your children in your car?” Here are the most common responses I got...

Ø What children?

Ø I know it is not right to leave them like that but Walmart is having a One Day Sale and last time they ran out of what I wanted to buy before I got to the bargain rack. I blamed the children for slowing me down. One wanted to get in the shopping cart and the other wanted to get out of the shopping cart. By the time I got that straightened out, it was too late. All the bargains had been lapped up by parents who had left their children in their cars.

Ø Why are you attacking me? They will be fine. It’s not like I was leaving my dog in my car. I would never leave my dog in my car.

 

OK, I admit I made all of this up (except for the sign)...Or did I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’m On A Roll Here ... Here Is More About The Last Day Of WWI

Hate is a natural by-product of war. This U.S. Army Artillery Captain was very angry at the Germans on the last day of WWI. This excerpt comes from the Library of Congress. It is part of a letter he wrote to his fiancée during the last six hours of the war. I underlined the most shocking part...

“November 11, 1918

We are all wondering what the Hun is going to do about Marshal Foch's proposition to him. We don't care what he does. He's licked either way he goes. For my part I'd as soon be provost marshal of Cologne or Metz or Munich or Berlin as have any other job I know of now. It is a shame we can't go in and devastate Germany and cut off a few of the Dutch kids' hands and feet and scalp a few of their old men but I guess it will be better to make them work for France and Belgium for fifty years.”

--------------------------

More from the book (11th Month, 11th Day, 11th Hour by Joseph E. Persico) I referenced in my blog posting earlier today. This is more about the above Artillery Officer...

“He put aside his letter to his fiancée and assembled the battery for action. The ammunition he had been firing so far with his French 75 mm artillery pieces had a maximum range of 8,800 meters. He had just received the new “D” shells, estimated to reach 11,500 meters and was eager to test them before the cease-fire. He figured the grid coordinates for Hermville, northeast of Verdun, at 11,000 meters distance, and began raining shells on the tiny village.”

--------------------------

Remember all of the above (letter and new longer range artillery firing) happened during the six hours between the armistice being signed at 5am and the cessation of hostilities at 11am.

 

What’s that you just said? Did you just tell me that I have not given you the name of the U.S. Army Artillery Captain? You are right. Please forgive me. His name was Harry S. Truman.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Ought To Post This One Every November 11th

This Is The 2nd Year In A Row That I have Posted This Blog

This posting refers back to two separate Foolishness...Or Is It? postings on the same subject. The first reiterates the Ignorance of Mankind & the second asks you to think about a Very Sobering Question.

-------------------------

First Posting...

The Last Day of World War One

The day humankind proved it is not too smart … again.

When did the First World War end? Many of you just said to yourselves…The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918. It sounds like that was scripted by Hollywood.

The most awful part of the story is that the armistice was signed at 5am on November 11th but was not effective until 11am and the fighting continued for those last six hours between 5am and 11am.

After the war, in a Congressional Hearing, General Pershing blamed Marshal Foch but many said that, at the time, Pershing appeared to be gung ho about the last assaults.

These were full frontal assaults as vicious as any on any other day of the war.

The Germans were shocked when the assaults started but defended against them with all that they had.

During these six hours, thousands of men were wounded or killed fighting for land on which they could have casually strolled smoking a cigarette at 11:01am on the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918.

I wish I were kidding you.
Smartfella

-------------------------

Second Posting...

No Foolishness, As My Mind Wanders Through This One

After you read below, I will invite you to ask yourself a very sobering question.

I published “The last day of World War One” commentary on April 23, 2008. It was about how WWI continued for six hours after the armistice was signed at 5 A.M. on November 11, 1918.

 

At present I am reading a book by Joseph E. Persico entitled 11th Month, 11th Day, 11th Hour. The quoted excerpt that follows is from page 3 of this book…

"The captain read the message twice. It must be a mistake. True, the night before, the U.S. 26th Division had received Field Order 105 to attack at 9:30 this morning. But at 9:10, just as they had been checking their ammunition and fixing their bayonets, word came that the armistice had been signed. Hostilities were to cease at 11 A.M. The attack had been cancelled. And here was another message telling the captain that the assault had been reinstated. His watch showed 10:30. A half hour remained in the war."

 

Now for the sobering question ... If you were this captain, what would you have done?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: The men of the 26^th Division under that Captain’s command went over the top at 10:35. There were 25 minutes left in the war.

 

Aw, Come On, Man!

Don’t get mad at me because I peck out the name “Bernie Sanders”.

If you dislike Bernie, don’t worry this Blog Posting does not praise him. If you like Bernie, don’t worry this Blog Posting does not criticize him.

No, this Blog Posting is a shout out at the News Media of every ilk (I just love using the word “ilk”) Liberal or Conservative that will not leave me (us) alone for even a short period of time.

 

Today I am at the High School Track trying to keep my heart from attacking me and my phone interrupts my heavy breathing with a News Alert to tell me that Bernie Sanders will not rule out a run for the Presidency of the Good Ole USofA in 2020.

 

Aw, Come On, World! Leave us alone for a little while! It has only been 2 days since the culmination of the harangue you have been dumping on us for the last year and a half! There must be something else you can find to talk about!

 

Oops! The late Walter Cronkite just came into my computer cave and started verbally attacking me saying I was an awful person because I did not want to be kept informed. He had me on the ropes for a bit but I gathered myself and told him, “Aw, come on, Walter, enough is enough! I am tired of all things election related. Leave me alone!”

 

That being said, the Most Trusted Ghost in the World disappeared in a puff of smoke and I do not expect to see him again...Or will I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

Some Synonyms for the word “Harangue”… Tirade, Diatribe, Lecture, Polemic, Rant, Fulmination, Broadside, Attack or Onslaught.

Yes, my dear reader, the last year and a half was all of these!

I Was Once Naïve

I used to think that politicians only attacked and obstructed when an election was coming close. The rest of the time they worked together to get things done for the benefit of the Good Ole USofA. Not anymore am I so naïve. 

The first time I remember having my Let’s All Get Along Bubble popped was the 2002 Mid-Term Elections. Normally the sitting president loses seats in Congress for the Mid-Terms. In 2002 that did not happen and Bush gained 2 Seats in the Senate and 8 Seats in the House.

 

The day after the election Bush was attacked as harshly as if the election was the coming up the next day.

 

Let’s keep our fingers crossed this time. For the good of our country, here’s hoping our elected members of Congress make nice with each other for a little while.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Both Assailants And Victims Have Responsibilities

For all of us to exist in modern society, we all have to do our part to cooperate with each other. This also applies to those of us who get caught up in a fist fight behind a Karaoke Bar. 

This news article was in my local newspaper recently...

“At some point at Paradise Karaoke, they walked out of the back door of the establishment and began fighting in the parking lot. It was captured on video surveillance.

 

During the fight, the victim was stabbed multiple times, but the victim did not realize that he had been stabbed until the two separated.”

 

Each of these individuals had an obligation in this encounter...

Ø The knife wielding assailant should have been nicer to the person he was stabbing.

Ø The victim should have noticed that he was being stabbed.

 

Did I hear you just say, “The Stabee was full of adrenalin and it is perfectly understandable that he may not have noticed his wounds until they stopped fighting”?

 

I quoted the article exactly and the article said “stabbed multiple times”. Once one gets past stabbed one time, it can legitimately be said that a stabee has been stabbed multiple times. Actually this guy was stabbed 17 times. How could he not notice he had been stabbed this many times?

 

I guess some people are more observant than others.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I May Not Be The Only Sane One Around But At Least I’m Not Nuts

Post-ObamaCare Preview in Colorado

(I did the underlining and the bolding.)

Amendment 69 would alter the state’s constitution to create a single-payer health system known as ColoradoCare. The idea is to replace premiums with tax dollars, and coverage for residents will allegedly include prescription drugs, hospitalization and more. Paying for this entitlement requires a cool $25 billion tax increase, which is about equal to the state’s $27 billion budget. Colorado would introduce a 10% payroll tax and also hit investment income, and that’s for starters. California would look like the Cayman Islands by tax comparison.

No one thinks this project will float on its planned $38 billion budget. An analysis from the Colorado Health Institute found that ColoradoCare would post a $253 million loss in its first year and would then “slide into ever-increasing deficits in future years unless taxes were increased.” The other options are reducing benefits or cutting payments to doctors—assuming providers haven’t fled the state.

 

ColoradoCare will have evicted whatever remains of the private insurance market, so residents may have nowhere to turn.

 

The best independent study on single payer is Vermont, which abandoned the idea in 2014: Governor Peter Shumlin, a Democrat, dumped his signature campaign issue once he figured out it’d require an 11.5% payroll tax and an individual levy as high as 9.5%. Mr. Shumlin admitted that “the risk of economic shock is too high at this time to offer a plan I can responsibly support.”

 

Remarkably, Colorado has managed to build on Vermont’s failures. For one, the plan aspires to cover more than five million people, not Vermont’s 625,000. Anyone who claims to live in Colorado qualifies, so get ready for a crush of beneficiaries who don’t pay anything. ColoradoCare would be enshrined in the constitution, which is much harder to scrap than legislation.

 

Ahh, come on! I understand that people can disagree but, when there is this much evidence against proceeding along this path, can’t The Proponents of Disaster ever look at the evidence before their very eyes and simply say, “You know you have a valid point. I have changed my mind. I agree with you.”

 

It couldn’t possibly be that The Proponents of Disaster are in a position to make money from this bill’s passage...Or could it be?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Maybe it’s the result of all that Marijuana they are smoking and eating out there.

A Primer On Seeing Through Political Spin

I was at the High School Track again trying to keep my heart from attacking me. I was listening to political interviews on my radio when it hit me... Try as they might the Interviewers are unable to get the Interviewees to answer the questions posed to them.

 

Dodging and Spinning questions presented to these skilled Dodgers and Spinners is a fine art that has now been perfected to the nth degree.

 

Sure I have seen this done for years now but these guys were the best I can recall hearing. It went something like this...

 

Question: Your candidate, Senator Leghorn, has been caught on security cameras and 27 non-partisan eye witnesses stealing money from the Cookie Jar. Are you and the rest of his team ready to concede that it’s all over for his run to the White House?

 

Answer: What you fail to realize is how transparent Senator Leghorn has always been in all aspects of his relationship with the American People. On more than one occasion he has been left alone in the Senate Chamber by his less devoted colleges as he poured out his heartfelt love for this country to that sad empty chamber. On the other hand his opponent, Congressman Whiplash, has been the epitome of obfuscation throughout his years in the Senate. On more than one occasion he has been heard to say, “A lie is as good as the truth, as long as you get somebody to believe you”. If there were an award for lying, cheating and stealing, Senator Whiplash would win it every year.

 

Question: Wow! That’s quite an answer to my question, whatever that question was. Can you refresh my memory about what my question was?

 

Answer: Certainly. You asked me to relate to you, and the folks back home, how great a patriot Senator Leghorn truly is. Actually, this question is not necessary. The folks back home have expressed their admiration for him year after. It is a crying shame that he has never won the Most Admired Senator of the Year Award but, if he had won it, he would have won it.

 

I bet you, my dear readers, have also forgotten that the question was about Stealing Money from the Cookie Jar.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

She Was So Unhappy!

It broke my heart to see her like that. There she was sitting on the curb outside my favorite BBQ Restaurant. She was really very attractive but when I came upon her she did not look very pretty because she was crying her eyes out. 

I tried to console her and, during the consoling, she told me her tale of woe...

Ø She has always loved BBQ.

Ø All her life she had been preparing herself to become a waitress in a BBQ Restaurant.

Ø She worked hard to get her certificate in BBQing from the prestigious BBQ Institute for a Greater America.

Ø She could identify, while blindfolded, all sauces used in any BBQ restaurant in a 100 mile radius.

Ø Today was her big day.

Ø She had put on her most attractive outfit and had come to my favorite BBQ Restaurant to apply for a job as a waitress.

Ø This was going to be the day she launched her BBQ Waitressing Career.

Ø She was rebuffed and she did not come close to being hired.

Ø The manager took one look at her and showed her the door.

 

I was really intrigued by this point because, as far as I could tell, she seemed to have all the qualifications to make a fine BBQ Waitress.

 

I asked her why she had been summarily turned away like this and my heart as bleeding for her as she said through her tears, “They said I could not work in their restaurant because I don’t have a Tattoo!”

 

I immediately understood why she had been rebuffed, I turned away and went inside to get my pulled pork sandwich.

 

Yes, my waitress did have a Dynamite Tattoo. Actually, she had several.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

This Is A Repeat Blog From 2011

Quote heard coming from the Smartfella 7 times last night as he suffered through the Nightly News Shows, “Yee Gads! Not another poll!”

I can’t help myself. The current presidential campaign is covering us up in Polls. Heck, they are reporting to us the results of Polls About Other Polls. Too bad they have not taken to heart the advice I gave them 5.5 years ago.

FRIDAY, APRIL 08, 2011

How Long Is A 60 Minute News Show?

I, for one, am very tired of the 24/7 News Cycle. I am, however, not one to say that’s the way is has to be. I am a Fighter but most of all I am a Thinking Fighter and I have come up with a fool proof way to address this awful situation.

I am, here and now, proposing the way to cut any current 60 Minute News show down to 30 minutes! It is so simple that you, my dear readers, are going to kick your collective selves for not thinking of it ahead of me.

On All of These 60 Minute News Shows Prohibit the Talking News Heads from Quoting the Results of Any News Poll of the American People

 

That is it. That would save easily 30 minutes an hour.

I am not so shallow as to just lay those saved 30 minutes on the trash bin of history. I am concurrently proposing that the time gained be filled in by showing reruns of any of the following…

• Amos ‘n Andy
• The Ozzie & Harriet Show
• Amos ‘n Andy
• The Lone Ranger
• Amos ‘n Andy

If you have never had the pleasure of watching any of the above shows, I feel sorry for you.

I take that back. I don’t feel sorry for you because you have a lot of viewing pleasure lying in front of you.

If, after watching any of them, you say you don’t like what you have watched, I will then feel sorry for you for sure.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Come To Think Of It

I got this Thought Provoker from one of those Lists of Everything You Can Imagine that we all see every day from the Internet...

Why don't you ever see the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

 

This made me start thinking...

Why don't you ever see the headline, “The owner of all that gold on those TV Commercials has decided to keep the gold for himself, so he can become stinking rich instead of selling it to you so you can become stinking rich”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Ole Cars Are The Best Cars

I saw a news article where a man was removed from his car by a Carjacker at the point of a gun. The victim cooperated but the Carjacker ended up not taking his car.

 

What happened? ...

Ø Did the Royal Canadian Mounted Police ride up and chase away the villain?

Ø Did a Meteorite come down and kill the dastardly fellow on the spot?

Ø Did the victim have a picture of Vladimir Putin duct taped to the dashboard and the bad guy was afraid to enter the vehicle for fear that Vladimir would come invade his home?

 

I know you are having a hard time deciding among these 3 very possible possibilities. I’ll save you from your quandary and give you the answer...

The Villain/Dastardly Fellow/Bad Guy Left the Vehicle Because He Could Not Drive a Stick Shift Car

Looks like the Villain/Dastardly Fellow/Bad Guy did not properly train himself for his chosen profession.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

What Do You Mean By That?

Speaking to Chinese Government Officials the new Philippines President has announced during a visit to China...

Ø “America has lost now. I’ve aligned myself in your ideological flow”.

Ø “I announce my separation from the United States both in military and economics also,” Duterte announced to a cheering crowd in Beijing. He added, "America does not control our lives”.

Ø “China has been a friend of the Philippines and the roots of our bonds are very deep and not easily severed,” he said. “Even as we arrive in Beijing, close to winter, this is a springtime of our relationship.”

 

Our State Department was once smart. Now it is a mere shadow of its former self. It seems pretty clear to me what the Philippines President is saying. He is saying that he feels it is safer and more beneficial to his country to be a Friend of China than a Friend of America.

 

Our State Department’s response to this very clearly laid out message was to say this silliness, “We are going to be seeking an explanation of exactly what the president meant when he talked about separation from the U.S. It's not clear to us exactly what that means in all its ramifications.”

 

It’s sort of like a gunman who points his gun at our State Department and then pulls the trigger. Between the time that the bullet leaves the gun barrel and when it hits the State Department, our State Department says, “What exactly are your intentions?”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I say, let ‘em go. Our government should encourage them to continue to be mad at us. How in the heck can a country that is named the Philippines refer to themselves as Filipinos? We don’t need friends that can’t spell.

Going Round And Round With Snails

As many of you know, I go to the local high school track in an, up to this point successful, attempt to keep my heart from attacking me. Sometime I am not alone as I go round and round the track.

Often I am surrounded by a Student PT Class getting their own form of “exercise”. The students are also going round and round under the watchful eyes of a really bored looking PT Instructor.

 

There are more differences than age between myself and the students...

Ø I am perspiring and they are not.

Ø I am actually exercising and they are not.

Ø 80% of them are Texting as they “exercise” (walk around the track), 15% are listening to “music” as they exercise (walk around the track) and 5% are staring into space with a look of despair and shock on their faces as the “exercise” (walk around the track) because they forgot to bring their Cell Phones to school that awful day.

 

Last time at the track I went up to the glassy eyed PT Instructor and said to him, “I know how you could get sued. If you told them that they had to do one lap without their Cell Phones, you would be sued for Cruel and Unusual Punishment”.

 

He looked at me and smiled (a little) and said, “I’ve never seen anything like it”.

 

If I pecked out that I saw a Snail pass several of them, you would certainly accuse me of exaggeration and I would have to admit that I was exaggerating...Or would I have to?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I’m sure glad Putin was not there to see what I saw. If he had been, he would have invaded a couple of countries the following day for sure.