Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose?

There is a town next to the town I live in called Suwanee. It is a nice place, well organized & many times has gotten national recognition as a great place to live.

That being said, it appears to me Suwanee is a town that has been Amucked, as in Political Correctness is Running Amuck over there.

This is the time of year when the Lighting of the Christmas Tree used to be on the calendars of communities all over the Good Ole USofA. They did not even have to be Nice Places nor Well Organized nor Recognized to have a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony.

This is not the case anymore & not even in Nice Well Organized Recognized Suwanee, GA.

Announcing...

Suwanee’s Jolly Holly-day Celebration

(Formerly the Old Town Holiday Festival & Caboose Lighting)

Yes, Dear Readers, Suwanee is about to light up a Caboose because Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose? Cabooses are so Correct.

I will never forget the caller to a Radio Talk Show who was objecting to a Manger Scene in front of his City Hall. If you are thinking he was objecting based on Separation of Church & State Grounds you would be wrong in thinking that. He said he was objecting because every time he drove past the Manger Scene he Felt Threatened.

I wonder if there is actually a Christmas Tree over in a dark corner of Suwanee Town Center with a sign on it saying, “Do not look at this relic of the past. If you do look, you might feel threatened”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(275)

The Dictionary Is A Living & Dying Book

Words come into our English Dictionary all the time...

• Dis... To treat with disrespect. To be rude.
• Humblebrag... An ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.
• Amazeballs... Extremely good or impressive; amazing.

Being sly, cunning and alert, the Smartfella has taken note of some words or phrases that are going out of usage. They are still in the dictionary but it won’t be long before they will be stricken...

• Vulgar or Profane... Hardly anything is Vulgar or Profane today.
• Respect... It just does not have much of a place in the today’s Self-Centered Good Ole USofA.
• Politeness... Yes, Sir ... No, Sir ... Yes, Mam ... No, Mam. These all sound sort of silly to too many of us.

That’s progress... Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(156)

Thinking Of Going Into The Homecare Business? Think Again.

There are more than 3,000 new regulations going into effect January 1, 2015.

Some of you just said that 3,000+ is not that much. Allow me to point out that this is 3,000+ added on to whatever existing regulations there are in effect before January 1, 2015.

I don’t know the total number. Probably no one does. I am comfortable in saying that it is a Whole Bunch of Confusion.

Allow me to narrow this bit of foolishness down to the Homecare Industry.

Below is a link to the January 1, 2015 changes for the Homecare Industry. I must compliment our rulers for giving the ruled more than a year to get ready for these massive changes. This allows us time to get out of the business before January 1, 2015.

You have my permission to skim the link below. Get the feel of it. Then go on to something that is easier to understand like the Mid-East Situation.

Since you are not going to read it all, allow me to paste in one paragraph in order for you to fully understand why you don’t want to be in the Homecare Industry &/or come to the realization that anyone who wants to be in the Homecare Industry ought to have their head examined...

Live-In Domestic Service Employees...

“Live-domestic service workers who reside in the employer’s home permanently or for an extended period of time and are employed by an individual, family, or household are exempt from overtime pay, although they must be paid at least the federal minimum wage for all hours worked. Live-in domestic service workers who are solely or jointly employed by a third-party must be paid at least the federal minimum wage and overtime pay for all hours worked by that third-party employer. Employers of live-in domestic service workers may enter into agreements to exclude certain time from compensable hours worked; such as sleep time, meal time, and other periods of complete freedom from work duties. If the sleep time, meal period, or other periods of free time are interrupted by a call to duty, the interruptions must be counted as hours worked. Under the final rule, employers must maintain accurate records of hours worked by live-in domestic service workers. Employers may require the live-in domestic service employees to record their hours worked and to submit records to employers.”

The Link is below. Remember to skim. I would not want to confuse you and/or depress you...

http://hometrak.com/department-labor-issues-final-regulations-companionship-exemption-effective-january-1-2015/?doing_wp_cron=1417018621.1573030948638916015625

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(493)

Lagniappe: Yes, dear reader, that is a typo at the beginning of the green paragraph above. Can it possibly be that Our Regulatory Rulers made a mistake?

Lagniappe More: On the other hand it is not a mistake if they want to make sure that we understand that, if we have a Dead Domestic Service Worker working for us, this confusing bit of regulation does not apply to him.

Eight Years Ago I Was Already Ahead Of My Time

Probably could not get all of you to agree with me about the happenings in Ferguson, so I will not tell you what I think.

Actually this bit of Foolishness is only peripherally about Ferguson anyway. It is really about those evil Eye Witnesses out there.

There may be one thing that we all could agree on & that is there has been a lot of contradictory testimony given by Eye Witnesses about what their eyes saw...

• Some saw Michael Brown charging head long at Officer Darren Wilson when he was shot.
• Some saw Officer Darren Wilson standing over Michael Brown while he was on the ground & shooting him in his back.

No matter what you believe in this case, we can all agree that is Contradictory Testimony... Or can we?

Remember the Subject of this Blog Posting where I claimed to have been ahead of my time a long time ago (actually August 4, 2006)?

If you are ready for a chuckle or two, click below & you will be impressed with my futuristic blogging abilities... Or will u?

http://forii.blogspot.com/2006/08/we-need-one-eyewittness.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(228)

Lagniappe: I sometimes wonder what has happened to Cynthia McKinney since she left Congress. Every time I do I realize that I do not know & it gives me a good feeling that I do not know.

Where Do The People Who Work For The Social Security Administration Come From?

I changed my checking account a few months ago. This account is the account that our Social Security Payments are deposited into each month.
Since this is the first time that anyone in the entire history of the Social Security Administration (SSA) has ever changed their depository checking account, I was in deep trouble because the SSA apparently did not know how to handle such a “complicated” changeover.
Here are some of the things that happened to me because I challenged the SSA to change my Checking Account...

• My most honest estimate is there have been about 20 phone calls to the SSA.
• Calls to the National SSA Office are unbelievably time consuming, the people I talked to did not listen very well to what I had to say, they were often times rude & I did not get my problem resolved.
• Calls to my Country SSA Office did not take nearly as much time, the persons I talked to listened to what I had to say, they were very polite but I did not get my problem resolved till after I had called about 6 times & made 1 in-person visit to their office.
• On 2 calls to the National Office I had to wait an hour listening to the worst sounding music ever written &, at the end of the hour, I was cut off & I had to call back.
• On 2 calls to the National Office I was offered the option to receive a call back. This meant I did not have to hold the phone listening to the worst sounding music ever written but at the end of the hour I was cut off & I had to call back.
• On 9/1 I went into our Online SS Accounts & updated our deposit bank to the correct Routing & Account Numbers. At that time I was trying to get our August SS Deposits which had missed their deposit due dates. I called the National SS Office & told them my situation. I was berated for going in & updating my account information on my own. I was told that, since I had done that, my August deposits were going to be delayed 60 to 90 days to allow for processing.
• I hung up & immediately called back & told a different agent my story & he said I would have my money in my account in 3 days & my deposit was in my account on the third day as promised on 9/4.
• It was not that easy for my wife’s deposit. After several more phone calls, her money was deposited on 10/9.
• The last remaining problem was we did not get our September Deposits on the 9/24 due date. We had already gotten our 10/22 deposits made on schedule. We eventually got our 9/24 deposits on 11/18.
• In the midst of all of the calls trying to get the 9/24 deposits, I was told twice that, since we had gotten our 10/22 checks in October, it was against the law to get our 9/24 deposits in October because that would mean we would have gotten 2 checks in the same month & we cannot get 2 checks in the same month. Stop & think about this logic for a moment.
• The deposit of the 9/24 checks got handled unbelievably fast only after I told my SSA contact that I was in the process of contacting my Congressman.

I could go on but I am certain you are tired of this by now & half of you have decided that I made all of this foolishness up.

------------------------

The story below was copied from the SSA’s own web site. If you wanna check me out, click here: http://www.ssa.gov/history/ssn/misused.html
Social Security Cards Issued by Woolworth
The most misused SSN of all time was (078-05-1120). In 1938, wallet manufacturer the E. H. Ferree company in Lockport, New York decided to promote its product by showing how a Social Security card would fit into its wallets. A sample card, used for display purposes, was inserted in each wallet. Company Vice President and Treasurer Douglas Patterson thought it would be a clever idea to use the actual SSN of his secretary, Mrs. Hilda Schrader Whitcher.
The wallet was sold by Woolworth stores and other department stores all over the country. Even though the card was only half the size of a real card, was printed all in red, and had the word "specimen" written across the face, many purchasers of the wallet adopted the SSN as their own. In the peak year of 1943, 5,755 people were using Hilda's number. SSA acted to eliminate the problem by voiding the number and publicizing that it was incorrect to use it. (Mrs. Whitcher was given a new number.) However, the number continued to be used for many years. In all, over 40,000 people reported this as their SSN. As late as 1977, 12 people were found to still be using the SSN "issued by Woolworth."
Mrs. Whitcher recalled coming back from lunch one day to find her fellow workers teasing her about her new-found fame. They were singing the refrain from a popular song of the day: "Here comes the million-dollar baby from the five and ten cent store."
Although the snafu gave her a measure of fame, it was mostly a nuisance. The FBI even showed up at her door to ask her about the widespread use of her number. In later years she observed: "They started using the number. They thought it was their own. I can't understand how people can be so stupid. I can't understand that."
Remember the subject of this blog? If not, I repeat, “Where Do The People Who Work For The Social Security Administration Come From?”
Based on my dealings with the SSA in the last few months, I have determined what happened to the Mental Midgets who used the Specimen Card as their own... The Social Society Administration Hired Them.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
(1151)
Lagniappe: If you remember the bullet points above, you will understand my agony. The agony just came back. Three days after our 9/24 checks were deposited on 11/18 we received 2 letters from SSA telling us it looks like they have overpaid us & they are going to take the 2 checks back.
Lagniappe More: They said nothing about sending us to jail because they paid us double but that may come in the next 2 letters.
I sure hope I can continue to Blog from my jail cell & I know you do too... Or do u?

The President & I Know What’s Wrong With The Economy

Yes, the President & I know the problem. Actually it is not just the two of us who are in the know. There is a third person as smart as we are & that person is you.

Did you just say you do not know what you know? If you just open your mind to what your ears are hearing, you would quickly come to the realization that you really know what you don’t know you know.

The manifestation of the problem can be heard daily on your radio. It simply is that radio advertisers are giving away their products for free. No one is making any money!…

• Program about how to Control your Uncontrollable Teenager.
• Pills to make you Lose Weight without having to eat less or to eat differently or do any form of exercise.
• Creams that will Stop Your Itches from itching you.
• Free Investors Kit. When the stock market goes up, you make money. When the stock market goes down, you make money.
• Free Makeup Foundation (whatever that is).
• Credit Reports that are free & some others that are really free.
• Free Web Sites.
• Clean Up Your Computer for free.
• Magical Debt Relief without having to stop spending more money than you have.
• Free book on how to Buy Gold.
• Book on how to make your Erectile Dysfunction function again.
• Stop Low Testosterone for free.

The Problem Is Apparent...Or Is It?

If our economy keeps giving away everything, there will continue to be no generation of income to the economy & our GDP will continue to go deeper into the tank.

The President is doing his best to get a handle on the situation. He keeps going to Hawaii so he can be alone to try & come up with a plan of action to bring this awful situation under control.

We have all seen the news clips on TV of him sitting on the beach for hours. Many times he remains there till the sun goes down with a drink in his hand with a little umbrella it just thinking thinking thinking about this thorny issue.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(379)

Finally Relief Is Coming For Our Fellow Citizens Trapped In The Awful Violence & Mayhem Of Chicago But It’s Going To Cost Us A Lot Of Money… Or is it?

My sources tell me that our Federal Government is launching a plan to physically relocate our fellow Americans trapped in Chicago for their own safety. Before the end of the year the plan will start to come to fruition...

• Whole communities will be created where they can escape their awful living conditions in Chicago to new confines where they can begin to live peacefully.
• Homes will be constructed at taxpayer expense for them to live in safety after their relocation.
• Our government will arrange for their household good to be packed up transported out of their dangerous living conditions in Chicago.
• There was a tremendous expression of gratitude when the Chicagoans came out of hiding after seeing the announcement of the “Escape from Hell Relocation Program” on television.

Some Americans were concerned about where the money to finance this costly project was going to come from but were relieved when they heard that the whole project is being funded by borrowing a lot of money from China.

This means it will cost us almost nothing because money borrowed from China does not have to be repaid. We just have to pay a little bit of interest.

One savvy Talking Head was heard to say on TV, “It’s like free money”.

The “Escape from Hell Relocation Program” will cost the Chicago Refugees absolutely nothing.

In truth their only responsibility will be that they must choose whether they want to go live in Guatemala, El Salvador or Honduras.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(286)

Georgia Has Set Its Foot In The Door & Nobody Told Me

My last blog posting...

“The Rulers Of Colorado Have Determined That Pot Is OK For Coloradans... Or Is It?”

was responded to with this comment...

“Thanks. Is this what we can expect from good olde GA after Jan 1st?”

I am one to keep up with the news but I knew nothing about what SmartRichard was talking about but I looked it up on the Internet &, I’m sorry to say, I now know about it.

Here is the text from the news article I found about what my home state intends to do to itself...

Part 1: “Medical marijuana is one step closer to becoming legal in Georgia, but it's taken a different form from its original version that passed the House 171-4 last week.

The Senate Health and Human Services committee unanimously approved House Bill 885 on Wednesday, which would legalize a form of medical marijuana in Georgia.

But the bill now also requires insurance companies to cover autism treatment for children ages 6 and under.

A few minutes before the vote, the committee's chairwoman said the medical marijuana bill will be combined with the autism bill.”

(The Smartfella hereby interrupts this quote for a comment.)

If I am one thing it is Logical. What did I just hear you scoff at my claiming to be Logical? OK I will modify that contention of mine to more accurately state that I am Logically Silly.

After reading Part 1 above I could logically assume that, in the interest of transparency, my legislature will now call this bill...

“The Medical Marijuana & Care for Kids Bill”

Right?...

Wrong!...

It is now called “The Care for Kids Bill”

How do you like that for transparency?

I ask you, who in their right mind want to go on record as having voted against a bill called, “The Care for Kids Bill”?

Part 2: Our esteemed transparent Chairwomen went on to say, "We also combined the autism bill with it. We're calling it the Care for Kids Act," she told 13WMAZ. "All the people in this legislature care about the children of Georgia."

------------------------

The bill to help Autistic Children in Georgia came to fruition because a 4 year old Georgian Child has a condition where she is subjected to 200 Seizures a Day & it appears someone has determined that Medical Marijuana will help her.

As usual, I have an Alternative Course of Action to propose...

• Send one of our caring legislators to California.
• Have him go into one of their Medical Marijuana Dispensaries.
• Go over to the “Doctor” sitting at that little desk in the corner with the stethoscope around his neck, clutching that bottle of bourbon with a sign over his head reading “Lickety Split Prescriptions”.
• Tell him you have Toe Fungus.
• Get a prescription for a bunch of Medical Marijuana for your Toe Fungus.
• Bring your bunch of Medical Marijuana back to our Suffering Georgian Autistic Child.

There you have it, another logical fix for a perplexing issue from The Fella!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(584)

Lagniappe: There is a possibility that the legislature is not contending that Medical Marijuana will be used to treat this Autistic Child but they just attached it to a pending Autistic Child Help Bill so they could hide it in the Care for Kids Act. If that is the case, the subterfuge is even worse than I thought.

The Rulers Of Colorado Have Determined That Pot Is OK For Coloradans... Or Is It?

Colorado has legalized pot. It has been big news ever since the State saw the light and decided to mend its ways. Wiser heads than I say there is no turning back the clock on this one because it was the right thing to do.

The Smartfella, however, sees the real reason why the clock will not go back and that reason is money. The Pot Industry is booming and the Pot Entrepreneurs and the State of Colorado are getting rich!

Almost immediately following the State giving the OK to smoke and/or eat pot it started a campaign to discourage Coloradans from smoking and/or eating pot.

Somebody is confused here and it’s not the Fella...

• Colorado has instituted a hard-hitting campaign to emphasize to teenagers that pot could be harmful to them.
• An example of what the campaign looks like is billboards throughout the State that say, “Does Marijuana really cause schizophrenia in teenagers? Smoke it and find out for yourself.”
• Another sign says, "Subjects needed. Must be teenager. Must smoke weed. Must have eight IQ points to spare."
• Another phase of the discouragement program is having human size cages located around the state where they can be seen by potential young pot smokers. The message the cages try to convey is pot smokers are becoming laboratory rats.
• State health officials also say they were concerned by studies showing pot can lead to depression and impairment of cognitive functioning.
• The campaign is being criticized by pro pot smokers and sellers as Scare Tactics. (The Fella believes Scare Tactics are not intrinsically evil. The key factor is, is there anything to be scared about?)

There is a lot in the above bullets that makes one wonder why Colorado would do such a thing. Do you remember my earlier comments about the State getting rich?

It’s like the State saying something like, “The State of Colorado has determined that there are 26 very valid reasons why pot should not be approved for recreational use in Colorado. We have decided to approve pot for recreational use because there are not 27 very valid reasons why we should not approve it.”

The Smartfella has two questions...

• If it is unsafe to use why approve it for use?
• If it is safe to use why spend $5.68 million to discourage its use?

Here is where we come to the full realization of how “smart” the Colorado State Legislature is. Ask yourself this question... Where does the legislature get the $5.68 million to pay for the Anti-Pot Smoking Campaign?

You guessed it... Or did you?...

They're getting the $5.68 million (and a lot more) for the Anti-Pot Smoking Campaign from the revenue generated by their approval of Marijuana for Recreational Use.

If you think you are confused after reading this Foolishness, imagine how confused I am after writing it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(502)

Can God Tell Time?

There is another Subject Line I could have written for this bit of Foolishness...

Maybe God Won’t Notice. I Understand He Is Pretty Busy.

Actually I did not write the verbiage below. One of you Dear Readers sent this to me. He is sort of like a voice crying in the wilderness. He is crying, “Oh My Gosh! I am beginning to think like the Smartfella. Is that bad? It may be a good thing because he is rather well known in his very small corner of the world”.

For better or for worst, here is what caught the eye of our new contributor, the Smartherr...

“Thought of you this morning as I was reading the AJC, page 2, story about Egypt changing clocks back and forth. The most recent change was to shorten the fasting time for Ramadan which is supposed to be from dawn to dusk”.

Either they really came up with something totally new that affects the rotation of the earth but only for Egypt, or there are hints that they are not about to become a technologically savvy country any time soon.

Maybe I am too harsh. Our Congress is capable of worse.”

Actually the Smartherr has made me feel guilty after his very first posting. Right out of the box he is taking shots at Congress. He is a frequent reader. Did I turn him against Congress?

Maybe I ought to back off a bit. Why it was only a couple of years ago that I was really pleased by an action taken by our 9% Approval Rated Congress. I actually said to myself, “Self, who says Congress is all messed up? That’s a great name for a Post Office!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(295)

It’s Time To Recall An Oldie But Still A Goodie

At the end of this posting is the link to a Brilliant Political Observation and a Real Sneaky Plan of Action published by the Fella on October 28, 2012. I bring them to your attention because the questions posed in the “Exit Polling” part have still not been answered (& never will be)...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2012/10/two-prior-postings-because-it-is-silly.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(70)

Good News & Bad News

The Good News... Tomorrow the Mid-Term Elections will be over & our crack news media will no longer be talking about Possibilities, Probabilities & Improbabilities of the upcoming Mid-Term Elections.

The Bad News... Tomorrow our crack news media will start talking about the Possibilities, Probabilities and Improbabilities of the upcoming 2016 Presidential Elections.

Oh well, at least they will be just getting started & they won’t be Wide Eyed & Shouting...

“Breaking News!”

“News Alert!”

“This Just In!”

...Or will they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(92)

Golly Gee! I Certainly Am On Top Of Things!

I just blogged about the Sweet Tax five days ago http://forii.blogspot.com/2014/10/thats-crazyor-is-it.html & now my newspaper tells me that the enemies of sweetness are moving ahead in San Francisco & Berkeley, CA.

These two bastions of intelligence are voting on a Special Tax on Sugary Beverages tomorrow. I am not pecking this foolishness out to redo this last blog (link above). I want to point out to you why this Wave of the Future is going to come crashing down on us eventually.

The reason the Sweet Tax will pass someday is the Intended Use of the Tax Proceeds that its proponents have tagged the measure with...

The tax revenue will be used for School Nutrition, Public Education & Fitness Programs

Who is going to come out & say they are against these three consistent vote getters? Even the Fella is too smart for that but he will give you this warning...

We will be shocked & awed by what that revenue is actually used for.

The truth is we will never be shocked & awed by its use because we will never find out what it is eventually used for but I bet some Special Interest Group like Citizens for the Preservation & Expansion of Kumquat Cultivation are licking their chops as I peck out this warning.

Want proof? Can you say, “Federal Highway Trust Fund” (aka: Gasoline Tax)? We were told these monies would be directed to only pay for Road & Bridge Repairs.

Actually there is a wide range of causes that have received funding from the Gasoline Tax.

Eventually we hear members of Congress lamenting the fact that our Roads & Bridges are in need of repair, our Federal Highway Trust Fund is depleted & we have to raise the Exclusive Gasoline Tax to be used exclusively for Road & Bridge Repair.

How stupid do they think we are?

The simple answer is… Pretty Darn Stupid.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(334)

There Are Too Many Bases Out There

An alternative Subject for this Foolishness...Or Is It? could have been...

There Are Too Many Lawyers Out There

Because There Are Too Many Lawyers Out There we are required to “Cover All Bases” in everything we do. Allow me to prove my point...

A restaurant wants to offer a coupon to draw customers. The cook and the manager come up with wording for their coupon that reads like this... “This coupon may be used to purchase one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo for $5.00”.

Because they have been sued before, they run it by their lawyer. The lawyer looks at them with distain and says, “When will the two of you ever learn? You have not Covered All Bases”.

He then proceeds to add on the necessary disclaimers to keep the restaurant from being sued by his brother-in-law and a whole raft of other savvy diners.

The list of disclaimers below was taken from an actual restaurant coupon I had in my possession.

• This coupon may be used to purchase one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo for $5.00 (excludes children’s menu items, soup, Garden Salad, pizza, tax and gratuity).
• Maximum value of discount offer is $4.30.
• Valid Monday – Friday until 4 p.m.
• Limit one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo per coupon.
• One coupon per visit, per table.
• Coupon must be surrendered at time of use, and any unused value will not be refunded.
• Coupon may not be redeemed for cash or combined with any other offer.
• Dine in only.
• Cash redemption value 1/20 of one cent.
• Coupon may not be reproduced, sold, transferred or traded.
• Sales tax paid by the bearer.
• Valid at any Mama Mia Gonzales Restaurant location in the U.S. Code: Lunch5.
• Expires 10/17/14.

The only thing I changed in this list was the name of the restaurant.

------------------------

It is a wonder the restaurant lawyer did not put in a few more like...

• Mama Mia is not responsible for soup splashed on any piece of clothing.
• Mama Mia will not be held responsible if any of our patrons dies from Ebola after leaving our restaurant.
• Some forms of our pasta have holes in the middle of them. These holes are the exclusive responsibility of the manufacturers of the pasta. Mama Mia is, therefore, not responsible for anyone consuming this type of pasta in our restaurant who is allergic to holes.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(431)

That’s Crazy...Or Is It?

The first time we hear a Crazy Idea we say to our collective selves, “That’s a Crazy Idea”.

The next time we hear that Crazy Idea we say to our collective selves, “There’s that Crazy Idea again!”

The next time we hear that Crazy Idea discussed it is a bunch of Talking Heads on TV and the Crazy Part is gone and they are talking about a Topical Idea of the Day.

The first time we heard that the former mayor of New York City wanted to shoot anyone who drank a big sugary soda in his city most of us thought he was being silly. Thank heaven the courts got involved and stopped him and his sweet police after only a few people were shot.

In the old days that would have been the end of such an idea but not in today’s Good Ole USofA. Not by a long shot. Now we have...

• Representative Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut recently launched the first national effort in years to tax soda drinks.
• The Connecticut lawmaker is under no illusion about the chances that her Sugar-Sweetened Beverages Tax Act will become law.
• She does not even expect the bill to come to a vote.
• However, she is forging ahead anyway anyway.
• DeLauro said, "We have a serious health problem. It is in part related to the consumption of sugar and added sugars and sugary beverages. Therefore we need to move to do something to avert this crisis."
• DeLauro's legislation would levy a one-cent tax on manufacturers for every teaspoon of sugar in their beverages.
• San Francisco and Berkeley will hold ballot measures to introduce soda taxes in November.

(Why is it that the remedies proposed to real or imagined maladies in our society always involve the levying of higher taxes?)

As is usually the case, the Smartfella has alternative courses of action to propose...

• How about an Absence of Taxes Tax? Imagine the number of children we could help with the revenue that could be generated by taxing everything.
• Sugar now and salt next. Actually a Salt Tax should have been before a sugar tax. We could go a long way to eliminating poverty in the Good Ole USofA by levying a one cent tax for every time one of us shook a salt shaker over our food.
• Stupidity would generate a humongous amount of revenue. We could start with that college student I saw on TV the other day who proposed that we fight the ISIS Terrorists by dropping food on them.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(475)

Lagniappe: More than one breathless Connecticut Voter has been heard to say, “I’ll follow Rosa DeLauro anywhere”. Looking at her all dressed up below you can easily see why... Or can you?

The Days Of The U.S. Postal Service Are Coming To An End If...

Based on the never ending volume of mail received at my house all year every week it is my considered opinion that the only thing keeping the U.S. Postal Service alive is Publishers Clearing House.

If Publishers Clearing House goes out of business the U.S. Postal Service will be gone within a week.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(72)

Politicians Worry About Mission Creep...The Smartfella Worries About Government Creep

This happens all the time. Our rulers in Washington D.C. see a wrong & decide to right that wrong. To do this they pass, what seems to be, a simple piece of legislation. Immediately that simple law begins to be expanded until it becomes a large Legislative Octopus with very long tentacles & becomes impossible to stop.

Want an example?...

When the Endangered Species Act passed in 1973, the concern was that iconic species such as the bald eagle would become extinct. The main threats were from shooting, poisoning and trapping.

I repeat... Shooting, Poisoning & Trapping needed to be addressed. Before we knew what was happening the law was reworked to address harassment, harming, pursuing, hunting, shooting, wounding, killing, trapping, capturing, collecting or attempting to engage in any such conduct.

The lawyers started licking their chops. Then the expansion was expanded to include the “taking” of habitat that harbors—or could harbor—endangered species.

Shoes started dropping all over the Good Ole USofA. One of the shoes landed on a North Carolina landowner who was arrested and threatened with fines and jail time for cutting down old-growth pine trees on his property because the trees could potentially provide habitat for endangered red-cockaded woodpeckers.

Imagine your confusion if you were sitting in jail wondering why you had been incarcerated because you had committed a crime of, “Could Potentially”.

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Did you just think to yourself that I had not made my case? Please forgive me & allow me to try again.

Children Shooting Children in school just begs our rulers to take action. I’m not going to argue with trying to address this issue but here is what Congress did...

They passed the Zero-Tolerance Approach to address this awful phenomenon as part of the 1994 Gun-Free Schools Act. I’m still not arguing but before we could turn around the law was expanded to Other Weapons ... then to Drug Contraband ... then to Ordinary Violations of School Rules, Disrespect & Skipping Class. It eventually became an across the board response to disciplinary problems.”

Over the past 19 years, prompted by changing police tactics and a zero-tolerance attitude toward small crimes, the FBI estimates authorities have made more than a quarter of a billion arrests. Nearly one out of every three American adults is on file in the FBI’s master criminal database. All too many of these “criminals” made their way into the FBI’s Database as students...

• A small pocketknife got a student charged with weapons possession.
• A 12-year-old seventh-grader was arrested & charged with disturbing the peace on school property after a minor hallway altercation.
• A student got a misdemeanor ticket for wearing too much perfume.
• A teen was charged with theft after sharing the chicken nuggets from a classmate’s meal—the classmate was on lunch assistance and sharing it meant the teen had violated the law.
• A student conducted a science experiment before the authorization of her teacher & when it went awry she received a felony weapons charge.
• Talking back or disrupting class has resulted in charges of disorderly conduct.
• Fights in school have lead to assault and battery charges &/or suspensions.
• I already blogged about the 7 year old who chewed his breakfast pastry into the form of a gun. This little terrible person was suspended from school for 2 days... http://forii.blogspot.com/2014/05/this-cant-be-true-or-can-it.html

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Back in my High School years Farther Heiter would have been shocked if someone had mentioned the possibility of a Criminal Record for a fist fight in his school yard.

He loved fist fights because they gave him the opportunity to get out the Boxing Gloves instead of calling the police. If someone had run to the phone booth & called the police, here is what they would have witnessed when they arrived & they would have loved the happening...

• Father Heiter first stepped between the combatants & told bystanders to hold the two angry youths apart.
• He ran (yes he actually ran), with a big smile on his face (yes he actually had a big smile on his face), to get his boxing gloves.
• The students not doing any holding apart automatically formed a square “ring”.
• The good father returned, had the combatants put the gloves on & we all were treated to a schoolyard brawl.
• When he thought enough was enough, Father Heiter stepped between, stopped the fisticuffs & had the once angry, but now more tired than angry, students shake hands.

It was great fun, no one got hurt, no one got a criminal record & no one went to jail.

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Before I evolved into the Fella I spent more than 30 years in the Automotive Industry. This happened over and over...

• A manufacturer saw a consumer need for a Small Car.
• It built a small car.
• Every few years that small car was retooled & we would hear the manufacturer advertising, “Our Small Car Is Bigger Than Your Small Car”.

Before long the confused public was heard to say, “Is that a Pinto or is it a Lincoln Town Car?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(873)

Congress Fixes Another Thorny Issue

Check out that Domino behind the Domino you are about to push over before you push it over. Dominos are very heavy & almost impossible to pick back up.

Congress takes note that all those 18 Wheelers on our highways are causing lots of problems...

• They tear up our highway system requiring us to have to pay huge sums to maintain & repair them.
• Highways are more expensive to begin with because of the extra durability that must be constructed into them because of the heavy duty wear & tear they inflict on the roadbeds.
• They take up a lot of room causing tremendous traffic congestion.
• They kill lots of people every year in all the accidents they are involved in & they actually cause many of the accidents in the first place.
• They pollute & pollute & pollute some more.

Congress springs into action and bans all 18 Wheelers from our Interstate Highway System.

Immediately Dominos fall all over Congress...

• Overnight there is a shortage of darn near everything in the Good Ole USofA that those Big Trucks used to deliver.
• Congress reacts by telling the business community to construct manufacturing plants all over the Good Ole USofA.
• Senator Foghorn Leghorn looks the Transportation Industry right in their formerly rich faces & tells them, “Why should you have all this manufacturing capability spread all over? It does not make sense! Building your Widgets right across the street from the consumers makes all the sense in the world!”
• The Transportation Industry complies & builds thousands of new manufacturing plants but overnight there is a shortage of workers caused by all these new manufacturing facilities.
• Congress enacts a plan to go into Africa & capture people & bring them over to the Good Ole USofA to work in the many factories.
• Some people call these new workers Slaves. Others call them Relocated Staffing.
• Since many of the new factories are seasonal a problem arises where the factory workers must constantly be moved around the country to man the different seasonal assembly lines.
• Again Congress saves the day by authorizing thousands of 18 Wheelers to transport the workers.
• Since the trucks are everywhere going everywhere, Congress authorizes the trucks to carry toothpaste, tomatoes, widgets & such.
• The commodities authorized to be transported grows dramatically until there is no room for workers.

How to get the workers from place to place is still up in the air but we do not have to worry about that because Congress has set up a Blue Ribbon Panel to study the issue. Anonymous Sources inside the committee tell us that the committee is leaning heavily toward authorizing a lot more 18 Wheelers.

Remember the Yellow Cab Slogan. “A Thinking Fellow Rides A Yellow”? Watching Congress function is like it was operating a cab company called Circle Cabs & its slogan is, “A Thinking Fellow Rides Around In Circles”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(508)

The Proverbial Slippery Slope Is Alive & Well

There was a time when a female showed her ankle in public and all who saw it were shocked. That bare ankle slid down the Slippery Slope and next thing we knew we are hearing dialog like this on Jimmy Kimmel Live...

Earlier this week, Portia De Rossi appeared on her wife Ellen DeGeneres' eponymous talk show to discuss her role on Scandal and to dispel ongoing reports that they're secretly planning to have a baby. The 41-year-old actress readdressed both topics when she appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Thursday.

"It's been a while," Jimmy Kimmel told her. "I haven't seen you for a little bit of time." De Rossi replied, "Actually, I think the last time we saw each other, we were in bed together. It was you, me and Ellen."

"My first and only threesome," the late-night comedian joked.”

Later on he asked his guest about "rumors that [she] and Ellen are going to have a baby. Is there anything to that?"

Groaning, de Rossi said, "Oh, I know. I know. Oh, gosh. It's just one big rumor that doesn't seem to go away, and at this point, I feel like I'm disappointing the whole of America”...

This from The Fella to Portia De Rossi...

Do you think you are so important that the whole of America is hanging on your every move or not move? Actually most of us do not even know who you are and, now that we do, we don’t really care whether you move or don’t move.

I for one had never heard of Portia De Rossi till now. Don’t email me back and tell me who she is. I can Google her but I probably already know all I want to know about her.

Reminds me of the time Dr. Watson told Sherlock Holmes that the Moon revolved around the Earth. Sherlock replied that, until this point in his life, he had never heard of this fact and now that he had heard it he was going to forget it because he did not need to know it.

That’s the way The Fella feels about Portia De Rossi & her moves & not moves. I understand that Portia De Rossi does not care about The Fella’s moves & not moves but, after much soul searching, I have decided I can handle it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(404)

Sorry, Mr. President, We’re Too Busy Right Now To Comply With Your Request

As much as I try to stay Apolitical, some of you may have figured out my political leanings but I will persist in trying to stay Blog Neutral in this posting.

Actually, I am going to ask each of you to forget your own political leanings and read this Blog Posting as if you do not know which way you lean.

Global Warming

One Side of the Argument:

The Polar Ice Caps ARE NOT Melting & Are Bigger Now Than They Have Ever Been

Other Side of the Argument:

The Polar Ice Caps Are Melting & By Next Thursday You Will Be Sorry You Ever Doubted This Obvious Fact

Whichever side you find yourself on I ought to be able to get you all to agree with this bit of my Foolishness...

I just read in my newspaper that our Secretary of Defense has plans to, “Retool the military to stop glaciers from melting”.

If you think this is a good idea think about it again using the 3 bullets below as your guide...

• The bad guys just made an amphibious attack through San Francisco Bay.
• The President calls up the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and orders him to get the military over there and repel the invasion.
• The Chairman says, “Golly Mr. President, this is awful! Under normal circumstances I would be more than glad to comply with your request but all my Trained & Ready for Battle Worriers are all at the poles manning the Ice Cube Making Machines.”

I guess I’m from the old school. I always thought the military was supposed to go around breaking things.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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