We Are Determined To Protect Endangered Species But We Also Are Determined To See To It That Extinct Species Remain Extinct

I got your attention with the Subject above, did I not? Actually I am going to stop pecking on this Blog Posting for awhile while I try & figure out what that Subject means.

Pause Pause Pause

I’m back. I’m glad I took that little break because I now can plainly see that the confusion of the above Subject makes perfect sense, if you are in England.

Here is the story…

When beavers surfaced in the River Otter, Mark Owen smelled a rat because it had been centuries since wild beavers plied the region.

In recent years, any local beavers were kept as curiosities or for research, living behind electric fences.

“Nobody, as far as I know, has reported that they’ve lost beavers,” says Mr. Owen, freshwater director of England’s Angling Trust, a sport fishing advocacy group that wants the rodents removed because U.K. law prohibits introduction into the wild of any animal that doesn’t already live there, even if it once did once live there.

There it is! There is the proof that the Subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It is not Foolishness. It’s this simple...

If it lives here, it must continue to live here but, if it does not live here, even if it once did live here, it can’t be allowed to live here again because it does not live here now.

I’m sure glad these English Uncommon Laws do not apply to Blogs. I might get caught by a law that says...

If you published three blogs is a row that were not funny, you are prohibited from publishing any blogs in the future that are funny because you have forfeited your right to be funny by not being consistently funny.

In other words, my funniness would forever be extinct.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

We Failed The Test To Get Out Of High School. The Only Course Of Action Available To You Is Obvious. You Must Give Us Our Diplomas.

The San Francisco Board of Education voted unanimously to give diplomas to 107 high school students who have not met all their graduation requirements — a move that goes against state law.

The California High School Exit Examination (CAHSEE) is offered to students beginning sophomore year. There are several opportunities to take it, but some students struggled to pass and had to retake it over & over & still did not pass.  

Recently, faculty and students from San Francisco International High School showed up at the city’s school board meeting accompanied by their Principal, pleading for help. Their plead was simple... “We need another opportunity to take the CAHSEE or we need a diploma,” said the Principal.

On behalf of his fellow Pleading Students their Leader has issued a statement to the media concerning their situation...

this aint fareit iz as plane as the noos on yo fac and as elementrie as 2+2 beein 5 that our wrights have ben vialatted

(It appears that California’s education system is so bad that it cannot even teach its students how to use Spell & Grammar Check.)

When the Pleading Student Leader was asked about the lack of capitalization, punctuation, spacing, incorrect spelling & inaccurate arithmetic in his statement he responded... All that kind of stuff is no longer necessary. Modern students in America believe only necessary is necessary.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I saw an interesting link at the bottom of the article that gave me the information I researched to write this blog posting. It was entitled...

“In California Thousands of Teachers Missing Needed Credentials”

I said to myself, “Ah ha, self, this is the problem”. But, when I clicked on the link, I was taken to...

“Page Not Found...404 Error...We’re sorry, but you have reached a page that doesn’t exist.”

Their thinking must be that, by not allowing us to read about the problem, the problem will go away...Or will it?

Heaven Knows I Do Not Expect You To Read This Entire Blog Posting!

Heaven Also Knows Even I Did Not Read This Entire Blog Posting

Do the Lawyers make this type of Silliness necessary or do we make Lawyers necessary because we keep asking them to sue everyone about everything?

 

I have received am email from my TV Provider, Dish Network. They felt the need to inform me about their policy regarding how I am to go about disputing my disputes with them.

 

The small print below is that Arbitration Policy. It is 2,407 Words Long! If they had asked me, but, of course, they did not ask me, I could have shrunk their Arbitration Policy down to 21 words...

 To resolve any legal disputes with DISH, instead of a jury trial, you must use either arbitration or small claims court.

A fine example of how involved this policy is is the following excerpt where Dish tries to tell me who Dish is & is not & was & will be in the future...

For purposes of Section 12 only, "DISH," "we," "us," or "our" means DISH Network L.L.C., DISH Network Corporation and its past and present direct and indirect subsidiaries, and the predecessors, successors and assigns of all of the foregoing persons and entities, and the past or present officers, directors, employees, partners, agents, attorneys, shareholders and legal representatives of all of the foregoing persons and entities.

(The above excerpt alone is 43 words more than my 21 words.)

From: DISH
Date: Aug 30, 2015, 5:05:34 AM
Subject: Important Notification Regarding Addition of Arbitration Provision and Other Changes to your DISH Residential Customer Agreement

 

Dear Fella,

We recently made changes to your Residential Customer Agreement with DISH. One of the changes adds an arbitration provision that requires you to use either arbitration or small claims court, not a jury trial, to resolve any legal disputes with DISH. The details of the arbitration provision are provided below.

You may opt out of this arbitration provision by providing written notice to DISH within 30 days. The details are provided in Section 12(H) below, and a form that you can use to opt out is available at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/arbitration-opt-out.pdf.

The most recent version of the Residential Customer Agreement, which incorporates the arbitration provision along with the other changes, can be viewed at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/residential-agreement.pdf.

Thank you for being a DISH customer,

 

(The small print below is the part you need not read but please scroll through it to the bottom & read Fella’s Closing Wise Crack.)

12.DISPUTE RESOLUTION, MANDATORY AND BINDING ARBITRATION AND CLASS ACTION WAIVER

A. Mandatory and Binding Arbitration. In the event that you or we have a Dispute (as defined below) that cannot be resolved through informal dispute resolution pursuant to Section 12(C), then you and we agree (unless you opt out of Section 12 in accordance with Section 12(H)) to resolve such Dispute in an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, instead of in courts of general jurisdiction. You acknowledge and agree that, in the event that you or DISH commences an individual action in small claims court in accordance with Section 12 and it is determined that the applicable small claims court cannot adjudicate such individual action (e.g., such small claims court lacks jurisdiction over such individual action), then such Dispute may only be resolved through an arbitration proceeding pursuant to Section 12. Arbitration is more informal than a lawsuit in court. Arbitration means that you will have a fair hearing before a neutral arbitrator rather than before a judge or jury in a court. Arbitrators can award the same damages that a court can award. Proceeding in arbitration may result in limited discovery and is subject to limited review by courts. Arbitration means that you waive your right to a trial by a jury or a trial by a judge (other than in small claims court). Any arbitration under this Agreement will take place on an individual basis; class arbitrations and class or representative claims are not permitted. BY ENTERING INTO THIS AGREEMENT, YOU AND DISH ARE EACH AGREEING TO WAIVE THE RIGHT TO A TRIAL BY JURY OR A TRIAL BY A JUDGE (OTHER THAN IN SMALL CLAIMS COURT) AND THE RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE IN A CLASS ACTION OR TO BRING A CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY. You and DISH also each agree that this Agreement evidences a transaction in interstate commerce and, thus, that the Federal Arbitration Act (the "FAA") governs the interpretation and enforcement of this provision. Nothing in this Agreement precludes you from bringing issues to the attention of federal, state or local agencies (including, without limitation, the Federal Communications Commission). Such agencies can, in the event that the law allows, seek relief against us on your behalf.

B. Dispute Defined. The term "Dispute" means, subject to the exceptions set forth in Section 12(K), any and all past, present or future disputes, claims or controversies between you and DISH, whether based in contract, statute, regulation, ordinance, tort (including, without limitation, fraud, misrepresentation, fraudulent inducement, negligence or any other intentional tort) or any other legal or equitable theory, and includes, without limitation, the validity, enforceability and/or scope of Section 12. The term "Dispute" is to be given the broadest possible meaning that will be enforced and includes, without limitation, any and all claims between you and DISH in any way arising out of, relating to or in connection with: (i) this Agreement and your applicable Promotion Agreement(s); (ii) DISH's services (including, without limitation, Services); (iii) DISH's devices or products (including, without limitation, Equipment); (iv) billing, collection and credit reporting; (v) telephone calls, texts, faxes and emails that you claim you received from DISH and/or a party acting or purporting to act on DISH's behalf; and/or (vi) DISH's and/or its agents' collection, retention and/or disclosure of personally-identifiable information. For purposes of Section 12 only, "DISH," "we," "us," or "our" means DISH Network L.L.C., DISH Network Corporation and its past and present direct and indirect subsidiaries, and the predecessors, successors and assigns of all of the foregoing persons and entities, and the past or present officers, directors, employees, partners, agents, attorneys, shareholders and legal representatives of all of the foregoing persons and entities.

C. Informal Dispute Resolution; Notice and Opportunity to Cure. You and DISH agree to first try to resolve any Dispute informally. Accordingly, neither you nor DISH may start an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, for at least sixty (60) calendar days after you or DISH notifies the other of a Dispute by sending a written document titled "dispute resolution notice" (each, a "Dispute Resolution Notice"). You may, but are not required to, download a form Dispute Resolution Notice at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/dispute-resolution-notice.pdf. You must send your Dispute Resolution Notice to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040), and we must send our Dispute Resolution Notice to your billing address then appearing in our records. The Dispute Resolution Notice must: (i) state your name, account number and contact information; (ii) describe the nature and basis of the Dispute; and (iii) set forth the specific relief sought in connection with the Dispute. In the event that you and DISH do not reach an agreement to resolve the Dispute within sixty (60) calendar days after the Dispute Resolution Notice is received, then you or DISH may commence an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, in accordance with Section 12.

D. Arbitration Procedures. Unless you and DISH agree otherwise in writing, the arbitration will be governed by the then-current Consumer Arbitration Rules (collectively, the "AAA Rules") of the American Arbitration Association ("AAA") excluding any rules for class or collective actions, as modified by this Agreement, and will be administered by the AAA and conducted before a single, neutral arbitrator. The AAA Rules are available online at the AAA's website (as of August 7, 2015, www.adr.org), by calling the AAA (as of August 7, 2015, 1-800-778-7879) or by submitting a written request to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040). The arbitration will be held at a location in the county of your billing address then appearing in our records unless you and we both agree to another location or a telephonic or "desk" arbitration (i.e., an arbitration conducted solely on the basis of written submissions by the participants). The arbitrator will be bound by the terms and conditions of this Agreement, including, without limitation, DISH's and your waiver of the right to a trial by jury or a trial by a judge (other than in small claims court) and the right to participate in a class action or to bring a claim in a representative capacity. The arbitrator, and not any federal, state or local court or agency, shall have exclusive authority to adjudicate the merits of any Dispute. In the event that you and/or DISH elect to submit a Dispute to arbitration pursuant to Section 12, then the party initiating arbitration must open a case by filing with the AAA: (i) a demand for arbitration; (ii) the administrative filing fee; and (iii) a copy of the applicable arbitration agreement (i.e., Section 12) — (collectively, the "Demand for Arbitration"). The filing may be made through "AAA WebFile," located on the AAA's website (www.adr.org), or by filing the Demand for Arbitration with any AAA office, regardless of the intended locale of any hearing.

E. The Arbitrator's Award. An arbitrator's award will consist of a written statement of the disposition of each Dispute and a concise written statement of the essential findings and conclusions on which the award is based. The arbitrator's decision and award are final and binding, subject only to the limited court review permitted under the FAA, and judgment on the award may be entered in any court of competent jurisdiction.

F. Costs of Arbitration. In the event that you initiate arbitration and agree that you will receive less than $75,000 in damages, then, after DISH receives notice that you have initiated arbitration, DISH will promptly reimburse you for your payment of the filing fee and DISH will directly pay the AAA any case management fees associated with the arbitration and the professional fees for the arbitrator's services. However, in the event that you initiate an arbitration in which you seek $75,000 or more in damages, then the payment of these fees will be governed by the AAA Rules.

G. Class Action Waiver. NEITHER YOU NOR DISH SHALL BE ENTITLED TO JOIN OR CONSOLIDATE CLAIMS BY OR AGAINST OTHER INDIVIDUALS OR ENTITIES, OR ARBITRATE ANY CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, AS A REPRESENTATIVE MEMBER OF A CLASS OR IN A PRIVATE ATTORNEY GENERAL CAPACITY, IN CONNECTION WITH ANY DISPUTE (as defined above). Further, unless both you and DISH agree otherwise in writing, the arbitrator may not consolidate more than one (1) person's claims, and may not otherwise preside over any form of a representative or class proceeding. In the event that any portion of this Section 12(G) is found to be unenforceable, then the entirety of Section 12 shall be null and void.

H. Right to Opt Out. In the event that you do not wish to be bound by Section 12, then you must notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 by: (i) completing the Opt Out Form located at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/arbitration-opt-out.pdf and sending it to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040); or (ii) otherwise providing written notification to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address that includes: (1) your name and account number; (2) your service address; and (3) a clear statement that you do not wish to resolve Disputes with DISH through arbitration. Your decision to opt out of Section 12 will have no adverse effect on your relationship with DISH or DISH's delivery of Service(s) to you. Any opt-out not received within the thirty (30) day period set forth above will not be valid and you must pursue your Disputes (if any) as an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, pursuant to and in accordance with Section 12 (excluding this Section 12(H), which in such event will no longer apply). In the event that you are a new DISH customer, then your activation of a DISH account or receipt of Services or Equipment and failure to notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date of activation of your account shall constitute your acknowledgment and agreement that you are bound by Section 12. In the event that you are an existing DISH customer, then your continued receipt of Services or Equipment and failure to notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 shall constitute your acknowledgment and agreement that you are bound by Section 12. We will be deemed to have given you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 as follows: (a) in the event that we send you notice by U.S. mail (including, without limitation, on a mailed bill, bill insert, notice, letter or postcard), then it will be considered given three (3) days after it is first deposited in the U.S. mail, addressed to you at your billing address then appearing in our records; (b) in the event that we send you notice electronically (including, without limitation, via an e-mail, electronic bill, social media message or attachment), then it will be considered given at the time we first send an electronic communication containing such notice or notifying you of the availability of such notice (or the electronic bill in which it is included) to the electronic contact information (including, without limitation, e-mail address or social media (e.g., Facebook, Twitter) identifier) then appearing in our records; and (c) in the event that we send you notice via broadcast on a television channel, or on your receiver(s) (including, without limitation, through pop-up messages sent to your receiver) or through publication on dish.com, mydish.com, dish.com/legal or other website, then it will be considered given when first broadcast, sent or published.

I. Miscellaneous. Notwithstanding any provision in this Agreement to the contrary, in the event that DISH makes any future change to Section 12 (other than a change to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address), then you may reject any such future change as follows: (i) in the event that we elect to provide notice of such change, then by sending written notice to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address of your rejection of such change within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you our notice; or (ii) in the event that we elect not to provide notice of such change, then by sending written notice to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address of your rejection of such change at any time. By rejecting any future change, you are agreeing that you will resolve any Dispute between you and DISH in accordance with the unmodified language of Section 12, unless you have previously opted out of Section 12 in a timely manner. Except as otherwise set forth in Section 12 or under applicable law, each of you and DISH shall bear and be solely responsible for its respective attorneys' fees, costs and expenses incurred in connection with any Dispute.

J. Expenses Outside of Arbitration. Except as otherwise expressly set forth in this Agreement, in the event that either party files a judicial or administrative action asserting a claim that is subject to arbitration (other than an individual action in small claims court) and the other party successfully compels arbitration, then the party filing that judicial or administrative action must pay the other party's costs and expenses incurred in seeking to compel arbitration (including, without limitation, reasonable attorneys' fees, expenses and court costs).

K. Exceptions. The following Disputes are excluded from Section 12 (including, without limitation, the informal dispute resolution provision set forth in Section 12(C)) and may only be decided by a court of competent jurisdiction: (i) any Dispute based on your receipt of all or any portion of the Services without paying for them, whether though theft of Services, piracy or otherwise; and (ii) any Dispute based on a violation of the Communications Act of 1934, 47 U.S.C. § 1201 et seq., or the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521 et seq., or any federal or state law relating to signal theft or theft of service.

L. Survival. Section 12 shall survive expiration or earlier termination of this Agreement for any reason or no reason indefinitely.

 

Fella’s Closing Wise Crack... The scroll-through above is only Section 12 (2,407 words) of Dish’s Residential Customer Agreement (10,950 words). Research has shown that, with the single exception of the lady pictured below, no one has ever read the entire Residential Customer Agreement...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Every lawyer that read my 21 Words above said to himself, “If the Fella thinks that his 21 words are sufficient, he is really being silly!”

The Most Elusive Thing In The World Today...Truth

If you believe that the Polar Ice Caps are Growing, you should read on.
If you believe that the Polar Ice Caps are Melting, you should read on.
The Smartfella has his beliefs about the Polar Ice Caps but he takes no side of either argument in this Foolishness...Or Is It?

The Fella, as always, is on the side of truth. Father Hatrel told me in 1956, “Fella, mathematics is an exact science”. It was then & it still is.
2+2=4. One cannot say, “Fella for you it’s 4 but for me it’s 1,453”. Even if one believes it is 1,453, it is not. It is only 4.
Truth is exact. You cannot have your truth & I have my truth on the same question...Or can u?
Years ago I was Flabbergasted Fella after I heard an “intellectual” discussion on my radio. As so often happens, I blogged about it. Here is a small piece of that blog...

“The Truth Is An Opinion”

I always thought the truth was the truth. I always thought if is not true it is not true. I can imagine the panel discussion on TV where I am being put into my place and lectured down to with such “enlighten wisdom” as...

• What you fail to understand is there is your truth and there is my truth. You are not seeing the big picture.
• The next thing you are going to be telling us is facts are certainties. Don’t you understand that there are your facts and there are my facts? The two will always be separate unless and until you agree that my facts are the correct facts and your facts are, in fact, not facts but are hogwash.
• How did you ever get on this panel? Did I just hear you say that only the farmer who owns the land can plant his crops on that land? Are you serious? You mean to tell me that no one but the person who owns any particular parcel of land can plant crops on that particular parcel of land? Do you really think that is fair?

Back to Polar Ice Caps...
Below are 2 very brief bottom line excerpts of my research for this Blog Posting. Both of them came from Scientists. You know what a Scientist is, don’t you? They deal in Facts. They deal in Truth. That being said, how can Scientists have published these “Truths” within a very few months of each other?
Polar Ice Caps Are Growing... “Satellite instruments measuring the precise extent of the Southern Hemisphere polar ice cap report the polar ice cap has been steadily growing for decades.”
Polar Ice Caps Are Melting...
“Researchers have established the height of the Greenland and Antarctic ice caps with greater precision than ever before. The new maps they have produced show that the ice is melting at an unprecedented rate.”
Both of these big bold statements cannot be true. But where do we go to find out which is true? I know. Let’s go to the scientific community. They always know & speak the truth...Or do they?

Scientific discussion of the not too distant future... That’s not ice on top of the Earth. That’s 1,453.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Something Is Basically Wrong With Us

Not A Lot Of Laughs In This One

I heard a radio talk show host kick this around the other day & now I’m going to kick it your way.

There was a time long ago (when I was young) that Americans would have too much pride to do what they are doing as described in the bullets below. I wish that there were only a few of us doing this but it appears there is an awful lot of people who are saying... I might as well take what I can. That’s what it’s for, right?

• Handicapped Stickers used by people who are not handicapped.
• People who have an income around $500,000 still taking subsidized housing payments in big cities because they qualified long ago when they were making less than $67,000.
• People bringing Comfort Animals into public places saying they get comfort from their comfort animals. These companions are not just dogs. Some are getting comfort from Rabbits, Snakes, Pigs, etc.
• People are getting Disability Payments who are in no way Disabled.
• People on the Welfare Rolls who have lots of other income that the Government is not aware that they have.
• A one-time respected oncologist who was caught lying to patients about their health, telling some who did not have cancer that they did have cancer in order to give them unnecessary chemotherapy treatment just so he could bill Medicare for the procedures.

This is the part of my blog where I would normally say something cute or play around with words. Not this time. I will turn this one over to someone a lot smarter than the Smartfella...

At about the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, in the year 1787, Alexander Tyler (a Scottish history professor at The University of Edinburgh) had this to say about "The Fall of The Athenian Republic" some 2,000 years prior.

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship."
"The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:
From Bondage to spiritual faith;
From spiritual faith to great courage;
From courage to liberty;
From liberty to abundance;
From abundance to complacency;
From complacency to apathy;
From apathy to dependence;
From dependence back into bondage."

Would Mr. Tyler kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

In a “Jaywalking” sketch on The Tonight Show, comedian host Jay Leno asked random people on the street to name one of the Ten Commandments. The most popular response given was "God helps those who help themselves."

Two “nos” & one “but” are applicable here... No, the phrase is not one of the Ten Commandments & No, the phrase does not come out of the Bible & But, it appears to be fast becoming one of the most popular “Commandments”.

Oh My Gosh! My County Rulers Are Reading My Blog!

On August 9, 2015 I published a Blog Posting entitled, “My Visit To My Local County Park”. It appears that the good people who rule my county may have read my Blog Posting.

Here is what I posted...

Second Example... Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond

During my park walks I pass right by a pond. It has a fence around it to prevent our park children from wandering into the Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond.

 

County law says that there ought to be a fence around the pond & there must be a Lock & Chain on the gate into the dangerous pond…

 

This law also is not specific enough. As you can see county workers have placed a strong lock & chain on the gate to the dangerous pond but the lock & chain are not locked. They are just hanging there.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “Once the Strong Chain & Padlock Have Been Placed on the Gate to the Dangerous Pond, the Padlock & Chain Should Be Used to Lock the Gate In Order To Keep Our Park Children from Drowning in the Dangerous Pond”.

 

Yesterday as I walked past the Dangerous Pond, I was surprised & pleased to see that the County has taken action...

 

I did such a good job putting the Fear of Social Media in them that they, not only locked the gate, but they put 3 locks on it.

 

I guess this could all be a coincidence & they could have been headed toward the gate with the securing mechanism as I pecked out my hit piece.

 

I’ll know for sure when I get my next property tax assessment. If there is a large increase in my taxes, I’ll know for certain they are reading Foolishness...Or Is It?.

 

If I have to pay more taxes, I will have no regrets. It’s the White Knight in me. When I see a wrong, I try & right it. I gotta do what I gotta do.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Keeping You Informed

On February 4, 2008 I informed all of you who are smart enough to read my Foolishness about the conditions in Liberia, Africa.

Here is the entire blog posting...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Raising Children Again

I wish I were just starting out raising my children ... You just said to yourself, "Self, is he nuts"? Allow me to explain.

If we were just beginning to have children I now have a fool-proof way of getting my children to eat their vegetables. I would look each of them into their tear-filled eyes and threaten to send them to live the rest of their lives in Liberia.

The quote below comes from the Atlanta Journal Constitution on 2/22/08. Notice the use of the words "overrun", "pervasive", "half", "not", "uninhabitable", "little" & "no". After you finish using these words there is not much left to lament...

"The country is overrun with weapons, malnutrition is pervasive, half of children are not in school, and many buildings are uninhabitable. There is little running water or electricity and no sewage or landline phone system."

The Liberian Tourist Bureau is left with something like...
"Come join us in Liberia. Is it is a terrible place to live but you don't live long."

Would I kid u?

 

Here is an article that will bring you up to date on the conditions in Liberia as of August 26, 2013: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-23843578

Here is the gist of the news article (first 3 paragraphs) in case you decided not to click on the link above:

“Liberia's education minister says she finds it hard to believe that not a single candidate passed this year's university admission exam.

Nearly 25,000 school-leavers failed the test for admission to the University of Liberia, one of two state-run universities.

The students lacked enthusiasm and did not have a basic grasp of English, a university official told the BBC.”

I always try to help out my dear readers. In case you or your offspring are having trouble getting into college, here is a link to the University of Liberia’s Web Site. The above information makes it appear they have openings in their Freshman Class...

http://www.universityliberia.org/

On Final Point: The article says Liberia has not gotten over the effects of their Civil War that ended a decade ago. The Smartfella believes that the Government’s Department of Getting Over Things ought to crank it up a bit.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Smartfella Is Now Famous...Or Is He?

In October ‘14 I sent information about my little-read book into my College Alumni Magazine for possible insertion into their section devoted to Alumni Authors.

I then forgot that I had done what I just said I had done in the above paragraph.

Gadzooks! My forgotten submission has been inserted!...

Please be advised that I have now gone from being a little-known author who sold a few books to an author that a little more than a few have heard about who sold a little more than a few books.

 

I am so pleased with myself!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

You Are Trying Your Best To Fool The Court But Don’t For A Second Think You Can Fool The Federal Government

According to my newspaper...

“For young people trying to get a foot on the career ladder, internships offer valuable experience.”

“But lawsuits are mounting that claim the often unpaid positions violate U.S. labor laws, prompting experts to call for changes.”

“In March, media and entertainment company Viacom Inc. agreed to pay $7.2 million to end a class action lawsuit by former interns.”

The Smartfella is trying hard to understand this development. It looks to him that... A person needing experience in a particular field agrees to work as an Unpaid Intern in order to gain experience in that particular field. After working as an Unpaid Intern the, now Ex-Unpaid Intern, sues because his former Unpaid Intern Position was Unpaid.

Enter the U. S. Department of Labor to clarify this confusion. The Department executes its clarification responsibilities flawlessly by stipulating this flawless stipulation, “The work must be educational, beneficial and supervised and that the employer derives no advantage from it.”

This is very helpful & the Department of Labor is to be commended but the Fella has a problem with, “the employer derives no advantage from it”.

This means that the business must go to all the trouble of Educating the Unpaid Intern & Benefiting the Unpaid Intern & Supervising the Unpaid Intern but, after all that is done, There Is To Be No Benefit Derived to the Business.

Planning ahead, in order to prevent finding themselves back in court defending themselves against charges as to whether or not they did Derive Benefit, businesses ought to become pro-active & hire Cubicle Chaos Creator Interns who would go into cubicles during bathroom breaks & do things like... break pencil points, disassemble ball point pens & hiding their several parts in several trash cans throughout the workplace, empting desk drawers into other desk drawers, etc.

No lawyer could possibly argue in court that the Business Derived Benefit from such activities... Or could they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Once the Cubicle Chaos Creator has been created will his creativity naturally evolve into?...

I hope not.

Earth Day 1970 Predictions

Here are some of the predictions made on Earth Day 1970...

Ø “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.” George Wald, Harvard Biologist.

Ø “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.”
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

Ø  “Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions….By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine.”
• Peter Gunter, professor, North Texas State University

Ø “Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….”
• Life Magazine, January 1970

Ø  “Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct.”
• Sen. Gaylord Nelson

Ø “The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.”
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

Wisdom from the Fella... Despite all of the above, I am still a strong supporter of Earth Day because it is the only planet known to have Cannoli.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Continuing Your Education... Until I did research for this Foolishness I thought “Cannoli” was singular & I never gave a second thought as to what the plural was. “Cannolo” is the singular & “Cannoli” is the plural. This tidbit of info makes the last sentence of the blog above grammatically correct.

Beware Of Greeks Bearing Confusion

The world has been very hard on Greece recently for its Financial Crisis. It seems like everyone knew how to fix it except the person who was proposing how to fix it.

An agreement was recently reached to resolve the Financial Crisis...again. We all wish the Greeks luck but they may need more than luck.

The Smartfella, in my capacity as advisor to the world, am of the opinion that a major reason why the Greeks have been having so much difficulty resolving this seemingly never ending crisis is the confusion that is engrained in the very fabric of their society because of the names that they have chosen to call themselves.

Here is a sampling of everyday Greek names, Papageorgiou, Mavromoustafakis, Papadopoulos, Georgiades, Petropoulos, Sotiropoulos, Georgiadis, Panagopoulos, Stavropoulos, Georgopoulos, Stathopoulos & Gianopoulos.

I don’t want to be contentious but I contend it is not possible to read through the above name list & not become confused. You find yourself confused & you are just reading a silly blog posting. The poor Greeks are faced with this verbal assault every day!

It could be worse. In his comedy Assemblywomen (c. 392 BC) Aristophanes coined the 173-letter word λοπαδο­τεμαχο­σελαχο­γαλεο­κρανιο­λειψανο­δριμ­υπο­τριμματο­σιλφιο­καραβο­μελιτο­κατακεχυ­μενο­κιχλ­επι­κοσσυφο­φαττο­περιστερ­αλεκτρυον­οπτο­κεφαλλιο­κιγκλο­πελειο­λαγῳο­σιραιο­βαφη­τραγανο­πτερύγων.

This was a fictional food dish consisting of a combination of fish, poultry and other meat. It is cited as the longest ancient Greek word ever written.

Another comedy writer of some note, Shakespeare, just entered my blogging room looked over my shoulder & asked a very pertinent question, “Would λοπαδο­τεμαχο­σελαχο­γαλεο­κρανιο­λειψανο­δριμ­υπο­τριμματο­σιλφιο­καραβο­μελιτο­κατακεχυ­μενο­κιχλ­επι­κοσσυφο­φαττο­περιστερ­αλεκτρυον­οπτο­κεφαλλιο­κιγκλο­πελειο­λαγῳο­σιραιο­βαφη­τραγανο­πτερύγων by any other name taste as sweet?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Major Mischief!

My newspaper has hit the proverbial nail on its proverbial head!

For decades now Iran has been supplying its evil minions in the Middle East with the materials & finances to blow up Iraqi Soldiers, American Soldiers, Iraqi Civilian Men, Iraqi Civilian Women, Outdoor Public Markets, Mosques, Wedding Receptions, Schools, Police In & Out Of Their Stations, etc.

Now my newspaper has expressed a new concern of Middle Eastern leaders...

They fear their arch-rival Iran is on the verge of making Major Mischief in the region.

Oh my gosh! This is awful! Not Major Mischief!

This can only mean that all those people harmed in the past must have been harmed by Minor Mischief.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

No Trash On The Streets Of The Good Ole USofA

With all the people that have been given Community Service Sentences in recent years, there should not be any trash on the streets of the Good Ole USofA.

I just read where a woman was given 240 hours of Community Service for cutting off Rottweiler’s tails without the State’s or the Rottweilers’ permission.

Every few days we hear about some Celebrity being given a Community Service Sentence. I have never seen a single Celebrity on TV performing their Community Service.

You know darn well that photographers would be following them around while they were out & about serving their fellow man, if they were out there serving their fellow man. Lord knows they follow them whenever they do everything else...

Ø Jennifer & Chuck going out for a burger & fries.

Ø Cue Tip getting his hair cut.

Ø Sean getting divorced again.

Ø Holly getting married again.

Ø Shirley sunbathing when she was fat & sunbathing after she was no longer fat.

Ø Austin driving his sports car.

Ø Sean divorced again.

Ø Holly getting married again.

Does anyone keep track of all these Community Service Sentences? How do we know that they performed all or any of their sentences?

I have noticed many judges in court winking as they handed down these Community Service Sentences. Up until now I thought all these judges had nervous twitches but I have seen the light.

The Fella now believes that all these sentences are being handed out simply to make us feel that something is being done when actually nothing is being done.  

On the other hand, if you stop & think about it, why should they have to abide by their Community Service Sentences? They are important & we’re not.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

My Visit To My Local County Park

Considering That Our Local, State & Federal Governments Write About 700 New Laws Every Week (My Wild Guess But Probably On The Low Side) You would Think They Would Be Better At Coming Up With Laws That Would Not Be So Full Of Loop Holes

I’ve been Heavy Duty Walking for several months now. I am using Nordic Sticks when I walk (pushing with walking sticks that look like ski poles). The sticks dramatically increase calorie burn & exercise of my upper body. I have never seen anyone else in my park with these sticks. Some of the people I pass ask me if I am sick (Multiple Sclerosis) & the rest think I am crazy. 

 

Wow! This Blog Posting has started off with a major digression! Allow me to get back to Sloppy Law Writing which is the reason for this bit of foolishness....

 

First Example... Handicapped Door Opening Buttons

There is a law that says that all rest rooms in my local county park should have a button installed next to the door for handicapped resters to use when trying to exit the restrooms…

 

The left picture is the door & the door opening button with the door closed. The right picture is the door opening button being pushed but the door staying closed. This button has not worked in any of the park’s 3 public restrooms for the 12 years I have been visiting this park.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “The button should open the door when it is pushed”.

 

Second Example... Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond

During my park walks I pass right by a pond. It has a fence around it to prevent our park children from wandering into the Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond.

 

County law says that there ought to be a fence around the pond & there must be a Lock & Chain on the gate into the dangerous pond…

 

This law also is not specific enough. As you can see county workers have placed a strong lock & chain on the gate to the dangerous pond but the lock & chain are not locked. They are just hanging there.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “Once the Strong Chain & Padlock Have Been Placed on the Gate to the Dangerous Pond, the Padlock & Chain Should Be Used to Lock the Gate In Order To Keep Our Park Children from Drowning in the Dangerous Pond”.

 

Last Example... Doggie Poop Control

It is a well known fact that people in the Good Ole USofA do not like Dog Poop. In an effort to make it convenient for Dog Owners to pick up their doggie’s poop after their pooping doggie has pooped, our county has made it easy for Poop Picker Uppers to pick up their cute little dog’s poop by passing a law that Plastic Bag Dispensers be placed in our county parks.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “County Workers Are to See to it that Plastic Bags Are Placed in the Plastic Bag Dispensers Whenever All Plastic Bags Have Been Dispensed”.              

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Poopy Lagniappe #1...

 

Poopy Lagniappe #2... One time when I was living in California, I saw an Asian Lady on her knees in the gutter holding a small red plastic shovel at the Poop Ejection Point of her Cute Little Doggie which was pooping on the grass above the gutter.

 

Poopy Lagniappe #3... Picture this in your mind’s eye. What if a creature from outer space had just arrived over the Earth & was hovering above a Doggie Owner while he picked up the poop of his Cute Little Doggie. Which would the space creature think was the Superior Being, the Cute Little Doggie or the Cute Little Doggie Owner?

A Sign Of The Times

I recently blogged about the Good Ole USofA’s obsession in with Lists.

One of the most often published Lists is the Ten Richest People in the United States...

Based on What I Am Seeing More & More Of Each & Every Day, How Long Will It Be Before 7 Of The 10 Richest People Will Be Tattoo Artists?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe #1: In the first paragraph I almost typed, “Ten Richest Men in the United States”. What do you wanna bet that, if I had done that, I would have received more than a few Death Threats?

Lagniappe #2: If you wanna read my Lists Blog Posting again, click here: http://forii.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-listing-of-lists.html

Am I Smarter Than Policemen Too?

My newspaper tells me that a person has been arrested in Los Angeles for robbing 5 banks between March & July of this year.

The police are perplexed about why he robbed the banks. The newspaper article says, “No motive for the crime is spelled out in the complaint”.

I could use some extra money. I should print up some business cards & set up a blog offering myself as a Professional Confusion Remover to police departments all across the Fruited Plain.

I could start with this case which is baffling the Los Angeles Police Department. It would not take long. I would walk into the midst of the confusion & say, “The reason he took the money is he wanted the money. Pay me my stipulated exorbitant Confusion Removal Fee & I’ll be on my way. There a lot of confusion out there & I have work to do in other locales”.

I would be like a Super Hero. Maybe I’ll start wearing a cape. I’ll skip wearing a mask because I enjoy having the world know who I am...Or do they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella