This Is Yesterday’s Foolishness...Or Is It?

I have been remiss. I should have sent this Blog Posting as soon as I saw it in yesterday’s newspaper. Please forgive me.

On Sunday I published the silliness about the “Cease Fire” in The Ukraine... http://forii.blogspot.com/2014/09/glory-be-land-goshen-thank-heaven-cease.html

Then Monday I read the follow-up article that tries to reassure us that the “Cease Fire” is holding. Holding means, there is No Fighting Going On Anywhere... Or does it?

Actually what we are told is, “Kiev and the Kremlin said a cease-fire pact between pro-Russia rebels and Ukraine still held despite fighting in at least two cities in east Ukraine”

Would you like to analyze these words with the Smartfella?...

• The cease-fire is holding but there is still fighting.
• If the cease-fire were holding would that not necessitate there be no fighting?

As those shouting at us As Seen on TV Commercials say to us every day, “But wait! There’s more!”...

In the statement above we are told, “Despite fighting in at least two cities”. Do you not think “at least two cities” is pretty open ended? Three cities are more than at least two cities and so five cities or nine cities.

Guess we will have to wait for further breaking news to find out if it is two+ or five or nine or...?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(227)

Glory Be! Land A Goshen! Thank Heaven! … The Cease Fire Is Holding!

My newspaper is all excited this morning because the Cease Fire in The Ukraine is holding.

My newspaper does not get a chance to see good news inside itself very often so I will not burst its bubble of happiness but I will tell you...

The Cease Fire Is Holding Because The Warring Factions Have Gone Back To Get More Bombs, Guns, Ammunition, Sticks & Stones.

I wish I were but I’m not kidding u.

Smartfella

(90)

He Is A Cultural Icon & I’m Not But I Am & He’s Not

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about Cultural Icon...

A cultural icon can be a symbol, logo, picture, name, face, person, building or other image. It is easily recognized and generally represents an object or idea with great cultural significance to a wide cultural group. It has a special status as representing, or important to, or loved by, a particular group of people, a place, or a period in history.

In this Foolishness...Or Is It? I will address Cultural Icon Persons. They influence us. We want to be like them. They are inspirational... Or are they?

Need some examples about what it is that I am talking about? Here are a few... Marlon Brando, Arthur Conan Doyle, Francis Ford Coppola, Dalai Lama, Walt Disney, William Faulkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mahatma Gandhi, Stephen Hawking, Ernest Hemingway, Alfred Hitchcock, Vladimir Horowitz, Steve Jobs, Luciano Pavarotti, Mr. Rogers, Peter Sellers, William Shakespeare, Spiderman, Mark Twain, Orson Welles

Did you object to any of these Cultural Icons? If you did, that’s understandable. We are all entitled to our own stupid opinion.

In my own stupid opinion, one of these ought to have jumped off the screen at you. Did you just say you experienced no jumping? Did you not see, take note of and wonder why a Fictional Comic Book Character was in the list. Did you not cringe when you saw Spiderman there? If not, I am disappointed in you.

As I was kicking this Blog Posting around in my head, I happened across a young Spiderman devotee and decided to ask him about my thoughts about this Blog Posting I had simmering within me.

When I found him he was standing facing into bright sunlight in his Spiderman Costume with his baseball cap on backwards and holding his hand up to his forehead to shade his eyes so he could better see into the bright sunlight. I knew immediately I was in the presence of a mental midget.

When I brought up the subject of Spiderman being on my Cultural Icon List, he readily agreed that Spiderman belonged there and he added he thought Spiderman was probably the most iconic of the icons.

He said he admired the way Spiderman could shoot out his sticky web strings and latch onto buildings, planes, busses, and evil villains. He said one day he hoped to do the same heroic feats of strength and agility just like Spiderman.

Have you ever been looked at like you were a Complete Idiot? Well, this was my turn to be looked at this way because I told him Spiderman could not do what Spiderman does because Spiderman was a Fictional Comic Book Character and he did not exist.

That’s when it happened. That’s when he looked at me in disbelief, then shock and horror, then disgust and turned and walked away from me shaking his head surely thinking to himself that I was a Complete Idiot.

Despite that fact that some of you did not catch the presence of Spiderman on this Cultural Icon List, I do respect your opinions because you are smart enough to read my blog. Please tell me that I am right about all of this. I’m surrounded by so many who worship fictional characters and celebrities that I am beginning to doubt myself. Could it be that I am wrong?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(640)

Lagniappe: In order to prove my point, please read the article through the link below about the two 12 year old girls in Milwaukee who stabbed another 12 year old girl friend of theirs 19 times in order to impress Slenderman. You guessed it. Slenderman is a Tall Creepy Fictional Bogeyman whom they believe is real and who they greatly admire...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-wisconsin-slenderman-stabbing-20140903-story.html

Congratulate Me!

It has taken me many years but I am now approaching a milestone in my trek through Silliness. I have just under 33,000 (it has taken me years to get to this number) views on my gift to the world, Foolishness...Or Is It? I am so pleased!

I don’t know how he got into my computer room but Justin Bieber just appeared behind me and mocked my accomplishments as a mere molehill when compared to the adoration he receives.

He seemed to be enjoying himself as he knocked me down to size. He said he is followed on Twitter by just under 99,000 each day.

I really felt insignificant. I felt so inadequate. My life and all my efforts are apparently for naught. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy my misery as he looked down on me (he was hovering 2 feet off the floor).

I took some solace in thinking that my dear readers are enlightened by my attempts to educate and entertain them... Or are they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(209)

Lagniappe: Feel free to add a comment to this Foolishness...Or Is It? & enlighten me & my meager number of followers as to how Justin Beiber’s followers benefit by electronically trekking along behind him.

Mother Nature Is Not Really That Good At What She Does

Before Personkind (formerly known as Mankind) took over the responsibility of killing off various animal species on Planet Earth, Mother Nature had that job. Depending on how you look at it, she was very good at eliminating or very bad at preserving Earth’s Creatures.

“It’s astounding that we don’t know the most basic thing about life,” said Boris Worm, who is a marine biologist at Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia. (Is it not neat that a doctor involved in this kind of work is named, “Worm”?)

Recently, Dr. Worm and a Dr. Mora and their colleagues, based on a new method they have developed, presented the latest estimate of how many species there are. They estimated there are 8.7 million species on the planet, plus or minus 1.3 million.

I understand, “give or take a few” or “plus or minus a couple” but I never thought I would read the phrase, “plus or minus 1.3 million”. That’s a margin of error of 2.6 million.

I can just hear an Expert Really Smart Ph.D’ed Witness testifying, “What I am telling you is absolute fact but, of course, there is a distinct possibility that I am off by 2.6 million”.

Kick this around in your brain...

• Dr. Worm and Company say over 98% of documented species are now extinct.
• Dr. Worm and Company say that in the past 540 million years there have been five major events when over 50% of animal species died.

The Smartfella has this to say about all of this...

The Subject of this blog posting is wrong, if Mother Nature’s job is to eliminate species because she is eliminating them right and left.

The Subject of this blog posting is right, if Mother Nature’s job is to preserve species because she is eliminating them right and left.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(319)

It’s Your Turn To Do The Research

I’ve decided that I am too good to you and it is now your turn to start pulling your own weight. This all means I am not going to do a lot of research to gather examples to prove my point in this blog posting.

Did I just hear you ask yourself, “What the heck is he talking about?” As politicians say in news conferences, “That’s an excellent question”. The difference between them and me is I mean it and they don’t.

My stated position that starts your research is...

Politicians Lie

Here is when you get the chance to do the research and here is how you go about it. Find a candidate running for office who currently holds another office (i.e.: Congressman running for Senator)...

• Look at his past voting record in his current office.
• Compare what he says he was going to do if elected to his new position.
• Look at what he actually does after he gets into his new office.

Here is what’s going to be the outcome of the research I did not do but you did do...

• His past voting record in his old office is who he really is because he knows we are not paying attention.
• What he says he is going to do if elected to the new office he is running for is the result of what his Research Team tells him you want him to say he would do if elected to his new office.
• What he does after he is elected to his new office is who he really is because he knows we are not paying attention.

Politicians Lie

Solution... We ought to start paying attention.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(299)

What Else Can We Do To Dead People?

Thanks to Tom Hanks we all know that Dead Men Can Walk.

The other day I was watching a very long commercial for the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast (back when a Celebrity was a Celebrity). Right in the middle of the sales pitch a disclaimer had been inserted by lawyers that tried to prevent the bunch of Dead People on the Celebrity Roast Show from being sued.

Almost every one of the Stars (back when a star was a star) on the show are now dead. Many of their jokes are now forbidden because of Political Correctness. Back then we used to laugh at such jokes but now we are afraid to even give any indication that we heard what we just heard.

Some might say we are laughing on the inside but I’m not so sure that we are brave enough to even do that.

Here is the Lawyer Speak that I heard...

Some of the humor on this show may be Insulting to Women and such humor is hereby designated by all persons related to the production and distribution of these videos as improper and it should not be inferred by anyone the any person involved in the production and distribution of these videos condones any such insulting attempts at Women Denigration Humor.

OK, I admit I may have embellished their disclaimer a bit but you get my drift... You do, don’t you?

Refer back to the Subject of this Blog Posting, What Else Can We Do To Dead People?

It is apparent that the Celebrity Roast Production & Distribution Crowd thinks it is possible to sue dead people and they are trying to wash their hands of them and all their Used-To-Be-Funny Crudeness.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(300)

I’m Always Teaching You. Now It’s Your Turn To Teach Me

I am confused and you know I do not like to be this way. It pleases me to know that each of my Dear Readers would do anything for me. Now is your chance to help me out.

I was in my local grocery store looking at the plethora of selections in what I call the Chrystal Light Section. There I discovered something that made me say to myself, “Self, what the heck does that mean?”

All products offered in this section now have the following phrase printed on them...

Natural Flavor With Other Natural Flavor

I am fairly confident that out Federal Government is behind this confusion. Someone in Washington DC thinks this is important but the question is, why does he think this is important?

OK, it’s your turn to teach me. If you can help me out please reply to this Blog Posting with a Comment.

Commenting is easy and you can do it Anonymously, if you don’t want the Foolishness...Or Is It? tiny corner of the world to know how smart you are.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(194)

If It Makes Sense, It Makes Sense

Proctor & Gamble is the world's largest consumer products company but it wants to get smaller. It is in the process of culling as many as 100 brands from the 180 or so product offerings it currently has. The products that will or will not be cut are important decisions going forward for the economic well being of P&G.

This is a shocker. They are actually considering dropping Ivory Soap. Ivory Soap is one of its most iconic products and could very well demonstrate how far P&G is willing to go in its house cleaning campaign.

Ivory's annual sales amount to a whopping $112 million. It turns out that this is a small whopping because $112 million is a fraction of PNG's $83 billion total annual sales.

P&G hasn't said for certain which brands it will shed but those kept will be the ones with leading market positions in what P&G considers attractive product categories and that’s why Iconic Ivory is in danger of going away forever.

Many of us were raised with Ivory Soap floating around in our bathtubs. We don’ use it any more but for people my age it is part of us. We need Ivory to be out there. Is no one at P&G taking into consideration how we feel?

The Smartfella is here to come to the aid of Ivory. I think that P&G ought to use the Good Ole USofA’s time tested and proven way of culling any organization. Why mess with success? I am, of course, referring to way Unions have advocated paring down organizations for more than 100 years... Seniority.

That’s right, they obviously ought to get rid of their newest products offerings and keep the oldest ones. It is the only way to go.

I don’t know why big corporations don’t save a lot of time and just come to me for these big decisions. I would not charge much... Or would I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(356)

Lagniappe: They don’t call me The Smartfella for nothing, or should that be, I don’t call me The Smartfella for nothing?

You Say You Are The Smartfella But Are You Really The Smartfella?

This week I cancelled my DSL Internet Service and changed over to Cable. I found one part of the process that confused me and you know how I hate to be confused. Let me see if I can explain this one...

There are those that say that a requirement to show a Picture ID in order to vote is a violation of something or other. Those against this ID Showing Requirement are vehement in their opposition. I can match that vehemence by saying I am vehemently confused about this whole thing.

When my cable company left their message to remind me of the time of my installation appointment, this phrase was part of the recording, “Someone over the age of 18 with a Government Issued ID must be present...”

What if I tricked them by using a Falsified Government Issued ID and had paid my bill every month for 9 months without fail but they found out about my trickery? Would any or all of the following happen?...

• Would the Cable Police come to my house and unceremoniously rip my Internet Connection out of the ground?
• Would my name be published in the Police Reports in my local newspaper?
• Would a sign be placed on my front lawn warning school children to beware because a tricky person (me) lives in my house?

I’m sure glad my Government Issued ID was valid because the consequences of falsification would be hard to endure.

Lagniappe: As it turned out, the installer did not ask to see my Government Issued ID.

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No More Foolishness (just one minor joke) For the Rest of This Posting

Over the years the Smartfella has made it a practice to donate Platelets & Plasma. Other than writing this blog it is the other commendable service I perform for personkind.

The process is called Aphaeresis. Platelets & Plasma are very important in the treatment of Burn Victims & Cancer Patients. It is much more beneficial to them than whole blood.

The process takes about an hour and goes like this...

• You are comfortably seated in a La-Z-Boy. Should I have said La-Z-Person chair? (That’s not the joke.)
• You have your own TV in front of you for watching DVDs or Live TV.
• You are offered cookies, microwave popcorn and a variety of drinks.
• Your blood circulates through a machine over and over while the machine extracts the Platelets & Plasma.
• It is actually beneficial to your body to “exercise” this replacement mechanism and your body replaces the Platelets & Plasma faster than it would replace a pint of whole blood donation.
• I have never felt dizzy when standing up after the procedure.

During the sign-in procedure they always ask me to show them a Picture ID. I always say to them, “Are you afraid I will give you someone else’s platelets & plasma?” (That was the promised joke. Yea, the nurse never laughs either.)

Think about making a Platelet & Plasma Donation. I promise you will feel good about yourself and you will make it possible for a suffering Burn Victim or Cancer Patient to feel better about themselves also.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(548)

Will We Ever Hear A Mother Say Again, “Come Home When The Street Lights Come On”? If We Ever Did, That Unfit Mother Would Certainly Be Arrested.

1st Bit of Foolishness...

Like that GEICO Commercial says. “Congress is confused. ... Everybody Knows That”, below are two pieces of legislation Congress spent time working on that proves this point...

The No Child Left Inside Act of 2011 S.1372 H.R.2547

The No Child Left Outside Act of 2011 H.R.2818

------------------------

2nd Bit of Foolishness...

What was it Strother Martin said to Cool Hand Luke in Cool Hand Luke?

Ah yes, I remember. He said, “What we have here is a make Work Program”.

Here I go confusing you again. I am referring to the growing practice in the Good Ole USofA to hire security guards to accompany our children every time they leave the house.

Don’t knock it. A lot of families depend on these Private Security Guard/Nanny Jobs to support their families.

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3rd Bit of Foolishness...

If you are not depressed after reading this sign, you read it too fast. Go back and read it more slowly. If it still does not depress you, you again read it too fast.

The last Bullet Point for a sign like this ought to be, “If you find something fun to do that is not listed on this sign, Don’t Do It!”

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4th Bit of Foolishness...

Good News & Bad News

First the Bad News... I could go on forever with examples like this.

Now the Good News... I won’t go on forever.

Remember the Subject of this Blog Posting? I talked about Street Lights & Motherhood & Arresting. In the former Good Ole USofA what you are going to read below falls into the category of, “Progress”.

July 30, 2014 6:42 PM

A Florida mother faces charges of child neglect for allowing her 7-year-old son to walk alone to a neighborhood park to play, authorities said on Wednesday.

&

In a similar case earlier this summer, a South Carolina mother was arrested for allowing her 9-year-old daughter to play alone at a park while she worked.

The above two examples are what’s happening now. In case you forgot, this is what our world was like in the 1950s...

I like the old days. Does that make me an awful person?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(395)

So What New In Liberia This Fine Day?

My newspaper tells me, “Liberia Health System Collapsing as Ebola Spreads”

The Smartfella has this to say about that...

• That’s not news.
• This is to be expected in Liberia.
• Are you really surprised because I’m not.

As usual the Smartfella is way ahead of his newspaper. Here is what he blogged about Liberia on February 24, 2008...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2008/02/raising-children-again.html

Don’t ever doubt me!

That kid is back and he is seeing dead people...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(89)

I May Have Already Blogged About Everything There Is To Blog About... Or Have I?

On March 4, 2007 I blogged about my local newspaper’s ongoing practice of labeling certain of its news articles, “Must Read”. To get the full flavor of today’s posting (that’s the one you are reading at this moment), you really ought to go back and read what I blogged about back in March ’07...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2007/03/required-reading.html

Today my newspaper has labeled a “Must Read” Article that I did read because I am required to read it because it is labeled “Must Read” and I am one to always follow instructions.

The article was not headlined with earth shaking attention getting wording like...

Hamas, While Making No Long-Term Commitments But In A Definite Show of Compassion, Pledges To Only Kill Every Other Israeli Instead Of Killing Every Israeli, As Has Been Their Previously Stated Position

Now that would be a headline that would get the world’s attention. It would certainly swing a lot of Public Opinion Holders worldwide into the Hamas camp.

Today’s “Must Read” headline is...

Utah Woman Denied Rescue After Dog Tussles With Goat

It is not a requirement of mine that you must read this Dog/Goat article, but, if you are one of those that think I make things up, you can click on the link below…

http://whtc.com/news/articles/2014/aug/06/utah-woman-denied-rescue-after-dog-tussles-with-mountain-goat/

This is the part of the article that caught my attention in this bit of cracker jack news reporting... “It is a misdemeanor under local law to "attack, chase or worry" a wild animal...”

Do you see it? Do you see the word that caught the Smartfella’s attention? Of course, it was “worry”...

• How exactly does one go about worrying a wild animal?
• If the wild animal is worried, how do authorities go about determining that the wild animal was worried?
• Is the worried wild animal entitled to compensation?
• Does the wild animal know that it is worried?

If you are still reading this, you probably have not had enough of me yet. What’s that you just said? You have had enough of me? Don’t blame me it’s your fault that you are still reading. You could have gone on to something else important like Twitter but you stayed when you could have strayed.

Hope you are glad you stayed!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(394)

Salesmanship Is Simply Convincing The Buyer That He Needs What You Are Selling Or He Will Buy What You Are Selling

There is heavy advertising on my local radio stations about land available for sale in North Georgia. The frantic pitchman keeps saying you can see three states from these prime parcels of land.

I Googled It. I Binged It. I DuckDuckGoed It. I even went to the Public Library and demanded that they go back into their archives and bring me out an Encyclopedia and I Encyclopediaed It. (First I had to explain to the Librarian what an Encyclopedia was.) As a result of all this Herculean Effort on my part, I can unequivocally state that...

3 States From Up High Looks Exactly Like 1 State From Up High

I wonder if this kind on Sales Foolishness really works. Do buyers really say, “I’m going to borrow a lot of money, jeopardize my children’s education and my future retirement to buy this land because I can see 3 states from it! I’ll take you up there tomorrow and you will be able to see all 3 states for yourself. It is a beautiful sight to behold. It’s a lot better than 1 state!”

I’m like that kid in The Sixth Sense. He said, “I see dead people”. In my case, I see nonsense.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(244)

Lagniappe: To quote Tertullian... “Credo quia absurdum”, I believe it because it is absurd.

My Survival Plan Is Not Going To Survive

The long term survival of this once great country is going to hell faster than we can alibi for it. We used to be That Shining City on a Hill but now we are That Country that Used to be Able to Put a Man on the Moon. I have been coping with this ever more obvious reality up until this point because I was secure in the knowledge that I had a Survival Plan.

My Survival Plan was beautiful in its simplicity...

I planned to pick up the pennies & nickels that are being thrown on the ground every day outside the local gas stations by our Imported Landscaping Industry Workers after they buy their breakfast.

I had every intention of picking up enough of this thrown away money to buy Dog & Cat Food for myself and my wife from my local Pets Mart, Pet City and/or Poochie Palace.

Did I hear you say that my plan was brilliant? It was but it is now not as bullet proof as it once looked! This is awful! (Do I seem to use the word “awful” a lot? If I do, that is really awful!)

What went wrong with my plan, you ask? What caused this harsh reality to hit me flush in my face was I recently took a walk through my local Pet Adoration Store and I sadly and quickly ascertained that my cast away fortune, although quite substantial, will not be enough for me to afford the rising prices of Dog & Cat Food in the Good Ole USofA.

I am really scared.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(280)

Am I The Only One That Sees The Silliness?

Congress is getting accolades for coming up with a bill to “fix” our Veterans Administration. Here is a picture from my TV that shows their “fix”. Can you see the outrageous silliness?...

That’s a lot of money. Any member of congress who has been up there for one month can testify to the truth of this statement...

If we have a choice between fixing the problem and spending a lot of money, always choose the latter.

If we spent a lot of money and we did not fix the problem, the problem was we did not spend enough money.

After absorbing the above truth, look again at the picture. There is a line that jumped out at me. Do you see it? If you did not, don’t tell me. It would burst my bubble (whatever that means)…

It’s the $2 Billion for “Miscellaneous”.

That’s a lot of Mop & Glow!

Exactly how much Mop & Glow is that? That’s Two Thousand Million Dollars of Mop & Glow and Trinkets & Trash.

The Smartfella’s tried and true Congressional Rule of Thumb is, anything over $500 for Mop & Glow is too much.

What do you wanna bet that they zip right by their Two Thousand Million Dollars target (that’s right I said “target”) as if it was not even there?

The Late Gomer Pyle just came into my computer room, looked over my shoulder and said, “Surprise Surprise Surprise, I don’t see anything in there about cutting anything”.

If I were asked by any, yet to be fully indoctrinated member of Congress, “But, Smartfella, where do we look to make the cuts you are seeking?”, I would point him to info below for starters...

For the year 2013, government transparency database OpentheBooks.com reported that top doctors within the Arizona branch of the Department of Veterans Affairs were, on average, paid far more than other federal employees in the state.

Topping the list was Dr. George Swartz, who reportedly earned $357,528 last year. He was joined by 12 others whose salaries topped $300,000.

The highest-paid federal employee in Arizona not affiliated with the VA in 2013 was David M. Harmatz of the Department of Health and Human Services, who earned nearly $93,000 less than Swartz. In total, the top 44 salaries on the list went to individuals working within the VA.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(446)

Lagniappe: I jumped out of my chair when I saw this $2 Billion for Miscellaneous on TV last night. Within minutes Charles Krauthammer made comment on this silliness of this Silliness. What a guy! He is almost as sharp as The Fella!

Every So Often We Get Into This Debate

I could have inserted “Never-Ending” before the word “Debate” in the above subject because this debate seems like it is never going to end. This blog posting ought to end this never-ending debate, once and for all...

Humane Capital Punishment

I just read an article entitled, “Bring Back the Firing Squad”. If you think I am going to devote precious Foolishness...Or Is It? space to discussing the good points and bad points of Firing Squads or Hanging or Stoning or Lethal Injection or the Guillotine, you got another think coming.

The article in question was prompted by the recent Lethal Injection in Arizona that was intended to do away with an Arizona Certified Bad Guy with humane and painless efficiency. On this occasion, the Certified Bad Guy lay on the humane killing table for 1 hour and 40 minutes before he was certified as a Former Certified Bad Guy.

As usual, I have the remedy for the thorny issues I raise. In a plethora of movies and TV shows we have seen a wanna-kill-that-person person put poison into the soup that the about-to-be-dead other person is about to consume.

In a flash the person who drinks the Movie/TV Poison has his face fall into his soup because he has humanely and painlessly just become dead dead dead.

That’s the remedy…

We ought to use that Movie/TV Poison to get rid of our Certified Bad Guys

You have just read another example of the Smartfella’s, Simple Made Easy.

Glad I could help.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(266)

Your Shopping Experience At Wal-Mart Is About To Get Even Better!

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart saving money by spending money and I was handed an Informational Flier by an employee associate. The flier had just been received from Wal-Mart’s CEO in Bentonville, Arkansas and the store manager was more than eager to get it into the hands of all money savers presently in the store.

The flier read...

We are always looking for ways to make your shopping experience more pleasurable. That’s why I have authorized the expenditure of $10,000,000 to buy and install nationwide a whole bunch of, “This Register Is Closed” signs.

Not only does Wal-Mart save you money but now you will be more quickly directed to the few registers we have opened for you shopping convenience.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(139)

$3.7 Billion Dollars Is Not Much When You Consider All The Awfulness Out There

My awful statistics quoted in this blog posting are not my awful statistics. I lifted them from a columnist by the name of Esther Cepeda. Her awful statistics describe present day Guatemala, Honduras & El Salvador and her awful statistics accumulation shows no sign of getting better and every sign of getting worse.

The Awful Truth...

• Bloodshed, gang intimidation, drug wars, robbery, rape, murder of children in the streets and widespread dropping out of school because of belief in certain death at a young age are all a fact of everyday life.
• Among the casualties during a mild mid-July weekend were three killed and at least 24 others wounded by gunshots, many of them teens. If we took it back to the prior Wednesday, we need add in a pregnant mother of five was shot in her head while driving her minivan down a street.
• It is common to have toddlers beaten to death and their tiny bodies sometimes set on fire.
• Public school education is a joke, there are no jobs, there are no opportunities and there sure isn’t much hope.
• It is estimated that the cost of gun violence is about $1 million per gunshot injury. This estimate takes into account police time, medical cost, court costs and decreased tourism revenue from bad publicity.
• There were about 3,500 shootings in 2013, most were driven by desperation.

I can see you shaking your head in agreement that the 3.7 Billion Dollars needs to be spent and, even that huge sum, may not be enough.

My heavens! I made an awful mistake! I misread Esther Cepeda’s awful statistics. This awful situation I described above does not describe Guatemala, Honduras & El Salvador. It describes the Ongoing Awfulness of Chicago.

How could I be so careless? I’ve got to start reading what I read more carefully.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(363)

Lagniappe: Did you read the 6 bullet points too fast? To get the full impact, you might want to go back and read them slowly and carefully. Let the awfulness sink in.

What The World Needs Is Lots Of Pitched Battles

All over the world countries without the ability to design and build Major Weapons of Destruction are using Major Weapons of Destruction to kill their fellow man.

How is this happening? If they can’t design and build such things they ought not to be able to use such things but every day they are shooting and dropping such things at and on others.

This happens because the countries that have the ability to design and build Major Weapons of Destruction are selling or giving these awful weapons to the have not’s of the world.

It appears that we have evolved into a new modern principle of fairness…

Everyone Has An Innate Right To Be Able To Kill Other People In Bunches

Allow me to paint a world where the Designer/Builder Nations did not allow their evil creations to be disseminated to little evil people...

The angry little nations/movements would have to resort to their own meager resources to destroy each other. This means they would have to throw rocks at them, hit them with sticks or stick them with pitchforks.

(Did you catch the use of the words in the subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It? ... “pitched battles”? Pitchforks ... Pitched Battles ... Get it? Pretty clever of me don’t you think?)

This could actually be an economic boom to the world...

• Word could be put out that a battle was going to take place at a certain designated battlefield.
• The Battle Watchers would have to get to the Battle Site. This would stimulate revenue for the airline industry, train transportation and rent-a-car companies.
• The Battle Watchers would line up their canvas chairs along either side of the impending battle just like Soccer Parents all over the Good Ole USofA do every weekend. This would stimulate the canvas chair manufacturing business.
• Local entrepreneurs could sell popcorn, candy, liquid refreshment to the world’s Battle Watchers to consume as they watched the battles.
• The list could go on and on: Balloons, Tee Shirts, Hats, Pennants, etc..

Back in 1970 we had the film...

I think I have clearly pecked out my argument in very clear language that, if we started having old fashioned kinds of wars, the world would beat a path to them and we would have what we all want so dearly, in these dire economic times, a Worldwide Economic Boom.

I’m sure you all agree...Or do you?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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