Walmart Hiring Practices

 

On my latest visit to my local Walmart, I started noticing something Strange and Unsettling. Since I am The Noticer, I had to verify my suspicions. Right in the store I found out that my suspicions were true.

I stopped in aisle 3 and took out my phone and called Walmart Headquarters. It was easy…

• Walmart Person: This is Walmart Headquarter. How may I direct your call?
• Fella Person: I would like to speak to the person who hires people to go to work at Walmart.
• Walmart Person: That is me. I do the hiring for Walmart.
• Fella Person: Where do I go to apply for a job at Walmart?
• Walmart Person: You do not go anywhere. I can hire you right now over the phone. The process is quick and easy.
• Fella Person: This is great. Hire me!
• Walmart Person: Ha! It’s not that easy but it is quick. You must answer a couple of questions. Are you ready?
• Fella Person: I am ready! Wow, this is great!
• Walmart Person: Do you have any tattoos?
• Fella Person: No, I do not have any tattoos.
• Walmart Person: We cannot use you!
• Fella Person: Woe! Do not hang up! I really want to be part of Walmart. What if I went out and got a tattoo today?
• Walmart Person: Then we could hire you except for that fact that I already know the answer to our second Walmart Hiring Practices Question.
• Fella Person: Really?! What is that question you already know the answer to without asking me the question. I demand to know the second question!
• Walmart Person: OK, I will ask you the second question that I already know the answer to. The question is, “Do you speak and understand English?” I know the answer to that question because you have been speaking English ever since I picked up your call.
• Fella Person: I do not understand.
• Walmart Person: Do you go through life having to be spoon fed everything? I will speak slowly…You Cannot Work for Walmart If You Speak and Understand English and/or if you do not have a tattoo! You got that? It just dawned on me that the first question ought to be the second question. Once I see that the applicant can speak and understand English, I could save a lot of time and just hang up the phone without bothering to ask the Tattoo Question…Click!

“Click!” means he hung up the phone.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella