The Iron Age. The Bronze Age. The Middle Ages. The Dark Ages. The Age of Confusion.

 

These things are not confusing because we know these things are for certain…

Ø Women Wear Dresses and Men Wear Pants. That has changed. Let me try again.

Ø Women Wear Ear Rings and Men Do Not Wear Ear Rings. Oops! That did not work either. Let me try again.

Ø Women Have Long Hair and Men Have Short Hair. Oh darn! That does not hold true any longer. Let me try again.

Ø In Movies Men Are Strong, Powerful and the Heroes and Women Always Needed To Be Rescued. Another oops! Women are now leaping tall buildings in a single bound in the movies and punching out a man or two before they do the leaping. Let me try again.

Ø Women Are Born Female and Men Are Born Male and they stay that way. Double oops! Try and donate blood. The first question they ask is...Are you the same sex today as the day you were born? (Stop and think about this. What if I wasn’t the same sex? Would they refuse my blood?) Let me try again.

Ø Men Are An Important Part Of What It Takes To Produce A Baby. Not anymore. Commercial after commercial we see a woman in a beautiful big house, with a Lexus and a Mercedes in the driveway, loving and being loved by her two beautiful children but there is no Man to be seen anywhere in the commercial. Where did the beautiful loving children come from? Let me try again.

Ø Looks like the only thing we are left with is Women Give Birth and Men Can’t Give Birth...Or can’t they?

Can Men Really Have Babies? - The Center for Bioethics & Culture Network 

Who’s kidding who?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Cigar Companies who used to make It’s A Boy! And It’s A Girl! cigars have discontinued this part of their product lineup and started selling Chocolates labeled, “Don’t Know Yet. We’re Waiting For It To Tell Us What It Is”.

 

The Internet and all its related New Stuff is changing Everything. Did I just hear a bunch of you say, “No chit, Sherlock, I know that”.

OK, Mr. Smarty Pants, I know you are Smart but when I say Everything is changing I mean Everything.

************

I just stumbled across wikiHow (https://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page). I now know that, by using wikiHow, I can find out how to do Everything. Here are a few examples...

• How to Make an Ugly Christmas Sweater.
• How to Light a Chanukah Menorah.
• How to Paint Pine Cones.
• How to Tell if a Guy Has a Crush on You.
• How to Accept Your Body.
• How to Become a Celebrity Personal Assistant.
• How to Throw a Baseball Harder.
• How to Grow Blueberries in a Pot.
• How to Wash a Cotton Sweater.
• How to Clean a Sisal Rug.
• How to Use Floss on Your Teeth.
• How to Sell Gold Coins.
• How to Chip a Golf Ball.
• How to Make Dumplings for Soup
• How to Get Along with Your In Laws.

I think I have made my point...Or have I?

************

Consider this...

You are Christopher Columbus. You are nobody. You have been trying to figure out how to Get to the East by Going West. You decide to use wikiHow because your friend Hugo told you it knows how to do Everything. You peck out..."How to get to the East by going West".

Sure enough wikiHow comes right back and laying it all out for you. You now know How To Do It because wikiHow told you How To Do It. You are about to start packing and you notice a link at bottom of the page that reads, "The Rest of the Story" and you click on it.

After you get East by going West here is what will happen...

• You are going to be more famous than you have ever dreamed of being famous.
• Cities will be named after you.
• Universities will be named after you.
• Countries will be named after you.
• The United States will name its Capital after you.
• A day will be named in your honor.
• People will march in the streets and get drunk on the day named in honor of you.
• Statues will be erected all over everywhere in honor of you.
• A Sausage Company will be named after you...

• People will march in the streets demanding that no one march in the streets in honor of you.
• People will demand that you name be removed from Cities, Universities, Countries, Holidays and from all History Books.
• People will stop getting drunk in your honor.
• People will tear down your statues (Probably a good idea because these same people have already spray painted them long ago).

• People will stop eating your sausages.

You give up on your dream of finding the East by going West and become very wealthy by going on the Lecture Circuit telling everyone who will listen, “Don’t Go West, Young Man”.

************

Hoards of Red men in flying canoes with Atomic Bombs come across the oceans from all directions and bomb the Heck out of Europe, Africa, Asia and anything else that is not The Americas.

************

Is there a moral to this story?

Yes there is...Columbus, sausages and all, wasn’t so bad after all.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

All Over New England Women Are Being Frozen In Place

 

When we are born we do not know how to walk. We take walking for granted but we forget that we had to learn how to walk because walking is an Acquired Skill. Humans are still evolving, and for many of the Female of Our Species, walking has now become an Acquired and Accompanied Skill.

You all know what I am talking about whether you have actually thought about it or not. In the last few days this Evolved Accompaniment to walking is causing great concern because of the wild and crazy weather in the Northeast United States.

The Accompanied Skill Part of Walking is the fact that a very large percent of Women today can only walk if a Smartphone is held next to an ear while they walk.

We are all aware (because the TV will not stop shouting at us about it) that the temperatures have fallen dramatically in recent days in much of the Good Ole USofA, however, life must go on so we are out and about doing what we have to do just as if it was not as cold as it is out there.

I’m The Noticer. You can be a Noticer too. You cannot approach my level of Miniscule Nauseating Noticing but give this one a try. Next time you pull into a parking spot at Walmart notice how Woman Drivers don’t get out of their cars right after parking in their chosen spot. What they are doing during this exiting delay is dialing up a Fellow Woman to talk to while they walk into the store, walk around the store and walk from the store back to their car. This is because they no longer can walk without talking while they walk.

The problem has been magnified because so many women are scurrying around doing their Christmas Shopping and added to this annual Christmas Scurrying there is the scurrying to buy emergency stuff to carry them through this bad weather emergency.

Having dialed their fellow woman to talk to while they walk they get out of their cars and start walking toward the store. The problem arises because this increased load on our telephone capacity is causing more busy signals to greet callers than ever before because women all over the Fruited Plain are talking to women all over the Fruited Plain. Women Walkers/Talkers can only go about 8 paces without someone to talk to on the phone. Having left the safety of their car, at about pace #5 they are now being greeted by a dreaded busy signal. When this happens they whimper a weak, “Oh, no!” and they grind to a halt on the spot.

They then frantically try to get another female on the phone but downed telephone power lines are magnifying the problem making fewer women available out there to save them. There they are in Wal-Mart’s Unheated Parking Lot in sub-freezing temperatures and all too many of them are dying in place.

************

The Male of our species could help them but they are known to get Tunnel Vision when they are panicked about running out of beer during a weather emergency and they are making a beeline to the beer aisle in the back of the store. Many are so focused in their beer panic that they actually have bumped into still alive and not yet completely frozen women and knocked them over like bowling pins.

Other panicked male beer dashers have been seen stepping over still alive knocked over women whose bodies are slowly disappearing beneath the new falling snow.

************

There are times when I start worrying about the possibility that I have blogged about everything that can be blogged about. It’s never before happenings like what has been described in this Blog Posting that tells me I ought to find something else to worry about like a Supply Chain Snafu that could cause there to be a Frightening Nationwide Beer Shortage of Epic Proportions. (If you think I am overreacting, you have forgotten the National Baby Formula Shortage.)

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

What Is A Tesla?

Where Did He Ever Get The Name Tesla For His Car?

Elon was Little Elon in South Africa when he said to himself, “When I start producing my Electric Car I’m going to name it after a Famous and Gifted Unknown Inventor”.

I got a bit carried away when I made up the Bolded Print above. Elon’s mystery man wasn’t really that unheard of when Little Elon was still little. It’s just that today we are more interested in “important” things like Football and Smartphones. Actually, the Smartphone could tell us all about Nicola Tesla but we are too busy Googling them to find out useless information about Football.

Didya notice I just snuck in the namesake of Elon’s car? Yes, he named his car after Nicola Tesla because Elon is a smart inventor and he knows about smart inventors from way back when Thomas Edison was getting all the kudos for inventing darn near everything worth inventing.

I’m not holding it against Nigel Cawthorne that he has never read my little read book. I’m just started reading his read his book because he wrote about this very interesting man who has a car named after him...

Tesla: The Life and Times of an Electric Messiah

by 

Nigel Cawthorne

Despite being incredibly popular during his time, Nikola Tesla today remains largely overlooked among lists of the greatest inventors and scientists of the modern era. Thomas Edison gets all the glory for discovering the light bulb, but it was his one-time assistant and lifelong arch nemesis, Tesla, who made the breakthrough in alternating current technology. Edison and Tesla carried on a bitter feud for years, but it was Tesla's AC generators that illuminated the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago; the first time that an event of such magnitude had ever taken place under artificial light. Today, all homes and electrical appliances run on Tesla's AC current.

Born in Croatia in 1856, Tesla spoke eight languages and almost single-handedly developed household electricity. During his life, he patented more than 700 inventions. He invented Electrical Generators, FM Radio, Remote Control Robots, Spark Plugs and Fluorescent Lights. He had a Photographic Memory and did Advanced Calculus and Physics Equations in his head.

Nikola Tesla was the ultimate mad scientist. Like many other geniuses throughout history, Tesla was wildly eccentric. He was prone to nervous breakdowns, reported receiving odd visions in the middle of the night, spoke to pigeons, and occasionally thought he was receiving electromagnetic signals from Mars. If he'd lived today, he'd likely be diagnosed with an obsessive compulsive disorder: he hated round objects and disliked numbers that weren't divisible by the three.

I don’t expect it to be an easy read like my Little Read Book is an easy read but I’m going to do my best to get through it because I’ve been told the book costs a lot less than one of Big Elon’s Cars.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It Took So Long To Overturn Roe vs. Wade Because the Backers of Repeal Were So Few and Far Between...Or were they so few?

Actually the March for Life Movement has been vibrantly active on all over the Good Ole USofA since 1974, however, there has been little Press Coverage given to the Marches.

You've got 45 Seconds. Take 45 Seconds and watch this Time Lapse Video of the most recent Washington D.C. March on January 21, 2022... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMKP2oqQRP0

The Washington D.C. March is only one of many held each year. In 2023 25 Marches are planned in 18 Locations (States, Canada and Washington D.C.). There may be less planned in 2023 since Roe was overturned in 2022 but I could not locate listings other years on the Internet, so I could not make a comparison... https://www.kofc.org/en/what-we-do/faith-in-action-programs/life/march-for-life-dates-times.html

Also there have been many Marches outside of the United States. I found this quote from an article published May 19, 2016: “In recent weeks, marches have been held in Ottawa and Victoria, Canada; Birmingham, United Kingdom; Prague; Rome; Brussels; Lima, Peru; Lisbon, Portugal; Zagreb, Croatia; and in over 40 cities across Colombia!  (Marches are also held in France, Mexico, and Ireland. Let us know if we missed any!)”

Since 2002, the annual Marcha por la Vida in Lima has been held March 25, the Day of the Unborn Child. The Archdiocese of Lima has organized the march since 2013, each year welcoming more than 100,000 participants. The most recent march in 2016 attracted over 750,000 — the largest event in Peruvian history...

Year after year they have not been kidding u!

Smartfella

How Dare You Say That?!

It’s Silly Time (not funny time) In the Good Ole USofA

************

If Our Founding Fathers Had Wanted This Country To Have Freedom Of Speech, They Would Have Put It Into The Constitution!

On November 29, 2022 an opinion piece was published by attorney Robin Keller in which she described how she lost her job at a large law firm after daring to speak up in favor of the Dobbs Decision which had recently overturned Roe vs. Wade.

She got in all this hot water for expressing her opinion on a conference call explicitly called to allow staffers to discuss the Supreme Court’s Decision...

Ø The conference call was billed as a “safe space” for women at the firm to discuss the Dobbs Decision. 

Ø Everyone else who spoke on the call was unanimous in her anger and outrage about the Dobbs Decision.

Ø Keller was the only one who spoke up to offer a different view.

Ø She noted that many jurists and commentators believed Roe had been wrongly decided.

Ø She said that the court was right to remand the issue to the states.

Ø She added that she thought abortion-rights advocates had brought much of the pushback against Roe on themselves by pushing for extreme policies.

Ø She referred to numerous reports of disproportionately high rates of abortion in the black community, which some have called a form of genocide.

Ø She said she thought this was tragic.

The other conference call participant’s outrage was immediate...

Ø The next speaker called her a racist and demanded that she leave the conference call.

Ø Other participants said they “lost their ability to breathe” on hearing her comments.

After more of the same, she hung up.

Someone made a formal complaint to her Law Firm...

Ø Later that day, the Law Firm suspended her contracts.

Ø Then her contact with clients was cut off.

Ø She was removed from the email and document systems.

Ø All U.S. personnel were emailed saying that a forum participant had made “anti-Black comments”.

Ø She was suspended pending an investigation.

Ø The firm also released a statement to the legal website Above the Law bemoaning the devastating impact her views had had on participants in the forum (most of whom were lawyers participating in a call convened expressly for the purpose of discussing a controversial legal and political topic).

Ø Someone leaked her name to the press.

She filed her own complaint with her firm’s general counsel’s office alleging that the firm and those who had attacked her on the call had violated the company’s anti-harassment policy by publicly labeling her a racist.

Her firm hired another firm to conduct an outside investigation...

Ø Three weeks later she received a letter stating that the firm had concluded that her reference to comments labeling black abortion rates genocide was a violation of the firm’s anti-harassment policy.

Ø No mention was made about the fact that this view has been expressed by numerous mainstream black and white commentators.

Ø Her complaint to her firm’s general counsel’s office was dismissed.

Ø Her contracts with the firm were terminated.

Ø After a 44-year unblemished career, she was not only fired but blackballed by other firms wary of courting controversy. 

Keller said she wasn’t surprised by the response of some of the people on the call but she was surprised how quickly the firm itself kowtowed to a woke faction inside its workforce.

Her firm thought her views were “problematic” and therefore she deserved to be out of work.

************

Are you thinking to yourself, what’s going on here? Fella is here to tell you what’s going here...

We are entering a period in our Former Free Speech Country where this kind of Foolishness, with a capital “F”, is becoming the Unwritten Law of the Land. Here is our future...

Ø A meeting is announced extending invitations to a Fact-Finding Conclave to discuss The Future of the Widget.

Ø The invitation says, “We need your input about this very important subject. Please be candid because a lot depends on the decisions reached at this Fact-Finding Conclave”.

Ø Before the meeting the invited attendees will be told which Opinions they should bring to the Fact-Finding Conclave. It will be explained that these Opinions are to be embraced in the Fact Finding Conclave as their own Opinions because these Opinions are aligned with the Opinions of those who had called the Fact-Finding Conclave into session.

Ø The final message to the invitees is quoted here, “If for a moment those of us who have called this Fact-Finding Conclave into session did not think that your Opinion was not our Opinion we would never have invited you to our Fact-Finding Conclave to express our Opinion”.

************

Fella Advice: If you are included in any of these Fact-Finding Conclaves and you have an Opinion that is in contradiction to the Opinion the Fact-Finding Conclave was convened to affirm, Fella recommends you should keep that Opinion to yourself until everyone else has left the Fact-Finding Conclave Conference Room. Then you will be free to speak out Your Own Stupid Opinion to the empty Fact-Finding Conclave Conference Room.  

If you do not heed Fella’s advice and you speak out before the Fact-Finding Conclave Conference Room has been emptied out, then the Opinion Affirmation Seekers will hear you say Your Own Stupid Opinion.

Saying Your Own Stupid Opinion where it can be heard by others may get you labeled a Stupid Stuff Sayer and you will be putting your career, your financial well being, your marriage, your children’s college education (this might be a plus) and the finances necessary to be able to afford trips to isolated beaches where you can feel free to express yourself out loud and no one can hear you say Stupid Stuff.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you think I made this source article up, here is the link to the article so you can Read All About It ... https://www.wsj.com/articles/no-dissent-allowed-at-hogan-lovells-abortion-dobbs-roe-v-wade-meeting-safe-space-forum-genocide-lawyers-outrage-11669753147?st=vkmfw2vn0x0djcy

 

Today it was my pleasure to be visited by Forest Gump. He is a interesting fellow but he sure has a One-Track Mind. All he ever says is, "Stupid Is As Stupid Does". That could get old fast but it was OK because I was in the process of writing this Blog Posting and that fit right in with the direction in which my creative juices were flowing.

We just bought our first Keurig Coffee Brewer. As with anything we buy today we are covered up with Warnings. If you forgot how covered up we are, you might want to re-read my Blog Posting from a short while ago about my Battery Powered String Trimmer... https://forii.blogspot.com/2022/11/i-have-turned-into-scaredy-cat.html

Why is the above picture sideways? That’s to make the point of how Stupid the Keurig Coffee Brewer Makers think we are. One of the warnings with this Keurig Coffee Brewer is:

Use Brewer In Upright Position Only

I don’t want to call my fellow Keurig Coffee Brewer Owners stupid but the makers of the Keurig Coffee Brewers sure think the people who buy their Keurig Coffee Brewers are Stupid, if they give into their Lawyers and tell their buyers not to be this Stupid.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Do You Think I Am Stinking?

 

In Addition To Being The Noticer I Also Know What My Readers Are Thinking

There are 56 (and counting) of my Dear Readers who think I am Stinking Rich because I have had 249,040 View of my Blog, however, all 56 of you (and counting) are wrong in your Thinking about me Stinking.

You are correct in thinking that I can make money off my Blog but you might be surprised about how much money I am making, provided you are one who is surprised about Small Numbers.

So Far In 2022 I Have Made $10.84

Go ahead, all 56 of you (and counting), admit you were incorrect in thinking I am Stinking.

Said another way, I Stink Not!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Final Notice...Or is it?

 

If you are like me the daily mail comes in each day chock full of opportunities to spend (throw away?) your money...

Ø Political contributions

Ø Contributions to children’s hospitals

Ø Contributions to the people devastated by the most recent hurricane

Ø Contributions to military organizations

Ø Extended car warranties

Ø Contributions to send My Pillow Slippers to the homeless in San Francisco

Ø Political contributions

Ø Contributions to keep Jews from starving to death in Israel

Ø Extended home warranties

Ø Contributions to research for every kind of disease you can imagine

Ø Political contributions

Ø Chances to win stuff

Ø Requests to buy my house

Ø Contributions to the people who are going to be devastated by the next hurricane

Ø Political contributions

Many annoying envelopes like Extended Home Warranties and Extended Car Warranties tell me that this is their Final Notice to me. They threaten me that, if I don’t give them my money now, they will not take my money later.

There was a time in my Silly past where I actually thought to myself...If I give them money now they will take me off their list. Little did I know that the Next Time Letter was already in the mail as I was writing my check in response to the This Time Letter.

I wish I could sue them for Envelope Falsification or Excruciating Annoyance or Unnecessary Wear and Tear on My Shredder.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

A Doctor Deciding What Sex To Put On The Birth Certificate Used To Be Easy. Take A Look. Write It Down. That Was Then. This Is Now. It’s Not So Easy Anymore.

My last Blog Posting talked to you about Palm Springs and San Francisco’s Guaranteed Income for Trans People Programs. Mostly it talked about San Francisco’s Free Money Program. San Francisco’s Program asks the applicants to specify their Gender Options and actually lays out in great detail more than 130 Gender Options for them to choose from.

Knowing that my Dear Readers would love to inform themselves about all of this craziness I have spelled out a chunk of it for your Enjoyment, Education and Confusion...

Trans Status (Check all that apply):

Ø Transgender

Ø Non-Binary

Ø Gender Non-Conforming

Ø Intersex

Ø None of the above

Pronouns (Check all that apply):

Ø She/her/hers

Ø He/him/his

Ø They/them/theirs

Ø It/its/its

Ø Co/co/cos

Ø Zie/zim/zis

Ø Ze/hir/hirs

Ø Xe/xem/xyrs

Ø Ey/em/eirs

Ø E/em/eirs

Ø Per/per/pers

Ø Fae/faer/faers

Ø Ae/aer/aers

Ø Tey/ter/ters

Ø Ve/ver/vis

Ø No pronouns/just name

Ø Declined

Ø Not listed __________________

Gender Identity (Check all that apply):

Ø Cis-gender woman

Ø Woman

Ø Transgender Woman

Ø Woman of Trans experience

Ø Woman with a history of gender transition

Ø Trans feminine

Ø Feminine-of-center

Ø MTF (male-to-female)

Ø Demigirl

Ø T-girl

Ø Transgirl

Ø Sistergirl

Ø Cis-gender man

Ø Man

Ø Transgender man

Ø Man of Trans experience

Ø Man with a history of gender transition

Ø Trans masculine

Ø Masculine-of-center

Ø FTM (female-to-male)

Ø Demiboy

Ø T-boy

Ø Transguy

Ø Brotherboy

Ø Trans

Ø Transgender

Ø Transsexual

Ø Non-binary

Ø Genderqueer

Ø Agender

Ø Xenogender

Ø Fem

Ø Femme

Ø Butch

Ø Boi

Ø Stud

Ø Aggressive (AG)

Ø Androgyne

Ø Tomboy

Ø Gender outlaw

Ø Gender non-conforming

Ø Gender variant

Ø Gender fluid

Ø Genderfuck

Ø Bi-gender

Ø Multi-gender

Ø Pangender

Ø Gender creative

Ø Gender expansive

Ø Third gender

Ø Neutrois 6

Ø Intergender

Ø Maverique

Ø Novigender

Ø Two-spirit

Ø Hijra

Ø Kathoey

Ø Muxe

Ø Khanith/Xanith

Ø X-gender

Ø MTX

Ø FTX

Ø Bakla

Ø Mahu

Ø Fa’afafine

Ø Waria

Ø Palao’ana

Ø Ashtime

Ø Mashoga

Ø Mangaiko

Ø Chibados

Ø Tida wena

Ø Bixa’ah

Ø Alyha

Ø Hwame

Ø Lhamana

Ø Nadleehi

Ø Dilbaa

Ø Winkte

Ø Ninauposkitzipxpe

Ø Machi-embra

Ø Quariwarmi

Ø Chuckchi

Ø Whakawahine

Ø Fakaleiti

Ø Calaba 7

Ø Questioning

Ø I don’t use labels

Ø Declined

Ø Not Listed: __________________________

Sexual Orientation (Check all that apply):

Ø Aromantic

Ø Asexual

Ø BDSM/Kink

Ø Bisexual

Ø Demisexual

Ø Dyke

Ø Faggot

Ø Gay

Ø Lesbian

Ø Non-monogamous

Ø Pansexual

Ø Polyamorous

Ø Queer

Ø Same-Gender

Ø Loving

Ø Skoliosexual

Ø Heterosexual (Straight)

Ø T4T (Trans 4 Trans)

Ø Don’t Know

Ø Not Listed: __

The people who compiled the above lists are brilliant! They obviously come from a group of Deep Thinkers who are fundamentally opposed to putting their fellow Americans into Pigeon Holes.

Did you notice how they started each section of the listings with the opportunity for them to be all they can be by including these words, “Check all that apply”? It gives me great solace to know that these Flexible Gendered People are not forced to be rigid in their selection of who they think they really are at this point in their confused lives...

Ø For Trans Status: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they are Intersex they can say they are Intersex and Gender Non-Conforming and None of the above.

Ø For Pronouns: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they choose to be addressed by Zie they can say they choose to be addressed as Zie and Cos and Declined.

Ø For Gender Identity: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they choose Women of Trans Experience they can say they choose to be a Women of Trans Experience and Cis-Gender Man and Declined.

Ø For Sexual Orientation: They do not have to pick only one of the choices...
>>>Instead of saying they choose BDSM/Kink they can say they choose to be a BDSM/Kink and Same-Gender and Don’t Know.

Note I gave examples of three selections each but the real beauty of all of this is they can choose 1 or 2 or 3 or any number more than 3!

The only choice I can see that is missing is, All Of The Above.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you care to read all about it, the link to all of it is...

https://www.giftincome.org/_files/ugd/40a234_fa065a88cf9b481bbae6e47c5598270c.pdf