Why Are You In Here?

I Don’t Normally Burden My Dear Readers with Two Blog Postings in One Day but This Is an Emergency

The finely dressed new inmate is roughly shoved into his new cell. He looks ill at ease. Already in the cell is the inmate who somehow looks right at home in the new inmate’s new cell.

They both want to be friendly so they strike up a conversation…

Ø Hi, my name is Howard. What’s your name?

Ø My name is Randolph but everyone calls me by my nickname, Killer.

Ø Hi, Killer.

Ø Hi, Howard.

Ø Tell me, Killer, have you been in here a long time?

Ø You might say that, Howard, I’ve been here since 1987.

Ø Wow, Killer, that is a long time.

Ø Killer, may I call you Killer?

Ø Sure, everyone else calls me Killer, why should you be an exception?

Ø Why are you in here, Killer?

Ø Well, as you probably have guessed from my nickname, I have killed people. Actually I killed a lot of people. I killed my wife. I killed her boyfriend. I guess I should qualify that. I killed a guy who I thought was her boyfriend but he just turned out to be someone she sat next to on the bus. I killed my neighbor’s dog because he barked after 9 o’clock at night. Then I had to kill my neighbor because he objected to my killing his dog for barking after 9 o’clock at night. Since I have been in here, I killed 3 cellmates, but I think I am reformed, because I have not killed a cellmate in the last 7 years.

Ø Howard was speechless.

Ø Killer felt obligated to keep the conversation going so he asked why Howard was in jail.

Ø Howard told him he has violated the Coronavirus State Mandate to Shelter In Place and he had gone to Good Friday Services at his Church.

Ø Killer’s eyes got big as saucers. All of a sudden he looked downright frightened. He jumped up and ran and grabbed the bars of their cell and started shouting, “Guard, get me outta here! Get me outta here!” Then he turned to face Howard keeping his back up against the bars and while grasping the bars over his head with his clenched hands he continued shouting, “Be quick about it! And send someone to help me move my stuff!”

In these uncertain times we all have our own fears and some of those fears are not only new but they are downright overwhelming.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella