Seat Fillers Could Obscure the Disappearance of the Awards Ceremony...
Ø The Academy uses Seat Fillers to sit in seats at the Awards Ceremony when there is not a Celebrity to sit in those seats.
Ø The result is the Theatre Looks Full when it is not really as full as it looks.
Why might the Awards Ceremony be going away?...
Ø It may get to the point where Celebrities lose interest in the Awards Ceremony and don’t show up knowing the Seat Fillers will fill in for them because...
> They have to go see their divorce lawyer.
>They just got a new batch of Medical Marijuana and they are anxious to stay home and smoke a bunch of it so they can cure anything that is wrong with them.
>Their latest Tattoo is itching and they just do not feel up to smiling non-stop for 6 hours.
> These phony people may get to the point where they don’t care about phony Awards Ceremonies anymore.
How Bad Might It Get?...
Ø It may get so bad that the Academy will have to hire enough Seat Fillers to fill up 90% of the seats...
>5% of the seats are filled by the Award Winners (the no-show situation has gotten so bad that the Academy had to start notifying the Winners ahead of time that they are Winners to get them to show up).
> 5% are smiling heads on a stick held over the empty seat by the Seat Filler or the Notified Winner sitting in the adjoining seat.
Look on the Bright Side...
Ø This is big theatre and all those formerly-unemployed-but-now-employed Seat Fillers will be enough to reduce the latest National Unemployment Rate by One Blip.
Ø This One Blip increase, ought to be enough to re-elect all those who will claim credit for the One Blip Increase (local Councilman, the Mayor, the State Representative for the district where the theatre is located, 2 State Senators, the Congressman for the district, the Governor of the state of California and, last but certainly not least, the President of the United States).
Ø All those Tuxedo Rentals for all those Seat Fillers will boost the local economy.
Ø All those Limousine Rentals for all those Seat Fillers will boost the local economy even further.
This Is a Sad State of Affairs (and these people are experts on affairs)...
Think about the caliber of stars from the past (Jimmy Stewart, Tyrone Power, Marlon Brando, Joan Crawford, John Wayne, Bette Davis, Doris Day, Alan Ladd, Laurence Olivier, Paul Newman, Henry Fonda, Frank Sinatra, Gregory Peck, Ingrid Bergman, Lucille Ball, Sophia Loren, Audrey Hepburn, Sean Connery, Maureen O’Hara, Kirk Douglas, Lauren Bacall, Carey Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Gary Cooper, Bob Hope, Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Cagney, etc).
Think about how today a movie star becomes a Celebrity after making one movie (or just by living with a Celebrity who made one movie) for which she is paid more money than Jimmie Stewart made in his entire career.
The final insult to our injury is when we hear Talking Heads discussing the fact that this particular Celebrity’s Strong Point is she knows how to take an Attention Getting Stand on the Red Carpet.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
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FellaO
2 comments:
Fella, you are the KING of satire!!!!
Once in a while Hollywood does produce a good film. One such movie is " Patriots Day". It's about the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and how the police tracked down the two terrorist behind the bombing. It was released in 2016, so you would have to view it on Showtime or some other movie channel. Patriots Day was so compelling that I couldn't tear myself away not even to urinate. That's why I have given it my highest movie rating which is a 0 wee wee. Most of the films coming out of Hollywood these days are 4 wee wee movies at best, but not this one.
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