North Korean Medals vs Good Ole USofA Medals

I’ve been making fun of all the Medals those North Korean Generals wear.

After seeing all those Goofy Generals wearing all their Goofy Medals, I stumbled across this picture…

I’m not saying the Bemedaled General is goofy.

I just got a chuckle out of it, while I was scratching my head.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Bob B, your comments on a past blog started me thinking about researching this idea. I tried to send it to you but your email address is a dead end and I don’t have your phone number. I tried to get one or the other from April but she did not respond to my email request. Guess she forgot who you are.

Thank Heaven Gasoline Is Faster Than Pitch…Or Is It?

We all know what Tar Pitch (Asphalt) and Gasoline are. They are very different compounds.

 

Gasoline Prices are very much like a Geyser (a spring that throws a jet of hot water or steam into the air at intervals). Recently the Price Gasoline demonstrated its Geyser Characteristics by shooting up overnight because of Hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico.

 

Where I live, all the gasoline stations tweeted to each other one night as Harvey was approaching Texas and agreed with each other that, since Harvey could, would, could possibly, just might interrupt Refinery Activity, there was now acceptable justification to raise the Price of Gasoline. The next morning they all posted their Regular Gasoline price at exactly $2.75 (from $2.19 to $2.29).

 

Geysers shoot up fast and they come down fast. This is not the case with Gasoline Prices. The Price of Gasoline immediately shed its Geyser Characteristics and took on its Tar Pitch Characteristics.

 

What the heck am I talking about? Please allow me to start making sense…

The Price of Gasoline shot up like a Geyser and is now falling with the Characteristics of Tar Pitch

This is the part of this Blog Posting where you really start to learn something.

 

In several slow moving experiments Tar Pitch has been proven to be a Liquid…

… since 1927 at the University of Queensland in Brisbane, which Guinness World Records lists as the world’s longest-running laboratory experiment. Physicist Thomas Parnell set it up because he wanted to illustrate that everyday materials can exhibit surprising properties. In the past 86 years that experiment has yielded eight drops, with the ninth drop now almost fully formed and about to fall.

http://www.nature.com/news/world-s-slowest-moving-drop-caught-on-camera-at-last-1.13418

 

Where I live the Price of Gasoline has started it Tar Pitch Fall. A few stations have started posting their Regular Gasoline price at $2.71. We are all excited as we anticipate a further drop to $2.70 any week now.

 

I wish one of those hackers would take some time out from attacking the devil out of Equifax, Target and the Securities and Exchange Commission and hack into the Gasoline Stations Price Fixing Tweeting Cartel and give us an over-night $.50 drop in the pump price because I’m running on empty.

 

Would I kid u?

AlexO

In Order To Be Completely Honest With My Dear Readers

That picture of the North Koreans with the medals on their sleeves and pant legs in my last blog posting Another Windfall For Me was Photo Shopped.

 

I suspected it was but forged ahead anyway because I could not resist the foolishness of it all.

 

I checked it out after posting the blog and confirmed it was Photo Shopped.

 

I should have known that the North Koreans would not be that Silly…Or should I have?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Another Windfall For Me

I keep coming up with these ways to become rich beyond belief. All I require is an Insane Stinking Rich Person and an Insane Idea that will appeal to his Insanity.

 

I came up with this Insane Idea a few weeks back and it has taken me to now to come up with the Insane Stinking Rich Person to make it a reality. I have him committed now and, since he is crazy, he is chomping at the bit to give me an insane amount of his money.

 

This is the best one yet!

 

My Crazy Guy Has Agreed To Give Me…

Ø A Nickel for every time I see a North Korean clap on TV. You don’t get it? Watch the news tonight. When the Federal Government Required North Korean Nightly News Clip comes on showing their Daily Gigantic Meeting, see if you can count the claps. (Trust me, you will not be able to count the claps.)

Ø A dime for every time one of those North Korean Clappers Claps as he is jumping up and down in complete admiration for his Little Fat Leader Guy.

Ø Another nickel for every Medal for Heroism pinned on the Chest of those Hundreds of Generals who have never been in Harm’s Way that always surround the Little Fat Leader Guy.

Ø Another dime for every Medal for Heroism pinned on the Pant Leg or Shirt Sleeve of those Hundreds of Generals who have never been in Harm’s Way that always surround the Little Fat Leader Guy.

 

Don’t believe me about the Pant Legs and Sleeves? See below…

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’ve been told that Yahoo did not set up the Foolishness…Or Is It? link again.

Sorry.

Yahoo does this from time to time.

You can do either of these 2 tricks:

• Copy the link (forii.blogspot.com) and paste it in the URL Address Bar at the top of your browser and let your browser go find it.
• Highlight the link, right click it and click…"Go To Web Address".

I'll try and watch out for Yahoo messing it up in the future and fix it before it goes out.

FellaO

Hurricane Hysteria

Disclaimer: I wish to declare up front that I am not making light of Hurricanes or Hurricane Damage and Suffering. I am just pointing out that our News Reporting is obsessed with always making approaching hurricanes sound a dire as is possible. May I also point out that, thank heaven, humor is still to be found is even dire happenings, as is demonstrated by the Lady In The Boat Harbour With The Microphone below.

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As bad as it was, thank heaven it was not as bad as the News Media reported it was going to be…

“Nuclear Hurricane”? ... I expected to see a Mushroom Shaped Cloud going from city to city.

 

Today is 9/20/17 and we have Hurricane Maria out there. The Governor of Puerto Rico is trying top the Mayor of Miami Beach’s “Nuclear Hurricane” comment by releasing this statement…

“No generation has seen a hurricane like this since San Felipe II in 1928. This is an unprecedented atmospheric system.”

We’ll just have to wait and see.

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I know these things are unpredictable but some of the hysteria was just downright out of sight…

Ø At 11 pm Saturday my TV kept saying it was a Cat 5 Hurricane and, by that time, it was not still a Cat 5.

Ø One reporter said it was possible that Miami Hi-Rise Building could collapse but he gave us hope when he said he thought they would not fall down.

Ø He also said they expected 150mph winds at the bottom of these Hi-Risers and higher up on the building the winds would be 225mph. Maybe it was. I don’t know.

Ø Friday night it was reported that the Last Fuel Truck had come and gone and almost every station was out of gas. Saturday morning it was reported that most stations had gas, the traffic going north was light and there were no lines at the service stations.

Ø I don’t get cable TV anymore but I do get news clips. I was watching news clips on Saturday Afternoon for about 20 minutes before I figured out that they were showing me news clips from Friday Night and not telling me that it was not up to the moment reporting. Stop and think about this. Why show old clips at all? People watching could be told to get out now but by Saturday Afternoon the official word was stay put because it is too late to make it out. Or there was no gas to buy, when there was gas to buy.

Ø I heard one frenzied reporter say in very alarming tones, “The water in the bay is churning!” I bet it did more than churn before the storm had passed.

Ø I clicked on a screen that read “Live Streaming Coverage”. I stared at this Live Streaming Coverage Screen waiting for the Live Coverage before I realized that their Live Coverage had died because the screen never changed.

Ø Of course there were the Adjectives (there are always the Adjectives)…Herculean, Devastating, Catastrophic, Monstrous, Decimated (None of them know that this does not mean Completely Destroying Every City or Killing Every Person but Destroying or Killing every 10^th City or Person) (Yea, I know it can also mean Destroy Large Proportion of Something, which is closer to what they are trying to say, but I am being picky).

Ø The Storm Surge was predicted to be the big problem/killer. I had a lot of trouble trying to find out what the actual Storm Surge had been after the storm but before the storm the news reporting would not stop talking about it. Naples was reported to be going to get 12’ to 18’ of Storm Surge. After the storm I found an interview with the Mayor of Naples who referred to the Storm Surge as “minimal”.

Ø In the same interview, the interviewer said that the wind had been 142 MPH in Naples. The reporter hysteria rose significantly when she said “142 MPH”. The Mayor down played it by saying that 142 MPH was only a wind gust at the airport and not a sustained wind. The interviewer seemed very disappointed with his clarification.

------------------------

Finally, I saw this Lady In the Boat Harbour with a Microphone and the biggest eyes you could ever imagine. Two things she reported on made me scratch my head…

Ø She was standing on a dock that had 4 empty slips behind her. She said that the marina used to be full but almost all the boats had been moved out by their owners for safety reasons. What she did not understand was that the camera could see beyond the 4 empty slips. The rest of the marina was cram packed with boats.

Ø Then she moved to the left of the 4 empty slips and the camera moved to the boat that was tied up in that slip. She said something like this, For the boats that remain, their owners have secured them with ropes. I thought to myself… When there is no threat of a hurricane, do the owners just leave them floating around the marina?

 

Yea, I know I’m being picky.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

My Dear Readers, I Accept No Responsibility! It’s All Your Fault!

When I published my Little-Read Book, Foolishness…Or Is It? many years ago I created a Folder in my computer entitled “Next Book”. Every time I wrote another posting to my blog, I put that new posting is this folder.

 

At that point in my “Literary Career”, I thought that my book’s boundless success was assured if I got about 50 of you Dear Readers on my Notification List (actually there are 70 of you on the list at present).

 

You would then take over and tell all your friends about my Clever Use of Words, my Irrefutable Logic and my Delightful Humor-Filled Writing Style and I would be famous and I would be a frequent guest on Literary Panel Discussions on TV every time I turned around.

 

That’s what I anticipated but I am far from famous and have not been on a single Literary Panel Discussion and It’s All Your Fault!

 

It’s certainly not my fault that You Do Not Have Many Friends!

 

As of today, my Next Book Folder has 1,008 Foolishness…Or Is It Postings in it and they are covered with computer dust and, sadly to say, Foolishness…Or Is It? (Volumes 2 through 13) will never be.

 

Did I say it is all your fault?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Our Judicial System Depends On Legal Precedent And That’s A Good Thing…Or Is It?

Seattle Mayor Says He’ll Resign after 5th Molestation Claim Surfaces

Here is an excerpt from a 9/12/17 news article…

“Seattle Mayor Ed Murray will resign the mayor’s office announced Tuesday afternoon hours after news broke that a fifth man has accused the mayor of molesting him as a child.

 

Murray said in a statement that he will resign effective 5 p.m. Wednesday. City Council President Bruce Harrell is expected to serve as mayor until the November election.

 

For months, Murray has faced allegations that he sexually abused homeless boys he encountered decades ago. On Wednesday, Murray’s cousin Joseph Dyer levied similar allegations, saying he felt moved to act because of Murray’s treatment of his accusers.”

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This is from a Web Site called The Eectric Law Library…

“PRECEDENT…Legal principle, created by a court decision, which provides an example or authority for judges deciding similar issues later. Generally, decisions of higher courts (within a particular system of courts) are mandatory precedent on lower courts within that system--that is, the principle announced by a higher court must be followed in later cases.

 

I only copied the beginning of the definition. As is normally the case with legalize, it goes on to be very confusing. If you want to get confused click here: http://www.lectlaw.com/def2/p069.htm  

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I state upfront I am not a lawyer. I, however, am an accomplished Blogger of Foolishness (Or Is It?). Here is my Foolish (Or Is It?) Commentary…

 

Focus your mind’s eye on the courtroom of Judge Elmer Fudd as the Defense Attorney, Snidley Whiplash, takes the floor…

 

Your honor, I am mystified that my client is being subjected to this ill advised court action. My client has admitted to 4 instances of Child Molestation. That fact being established and admitted to, may I draw the court’s attention to the case of Murray v A Whole Bunch Seattle’s Of Little Boys in 2017.

 

Legal Precedence clearly dictates that the threshold of justice has not been crossed until and after the 5^th child has been molested.

 

It is as plain as any case ever before this court that 4 is not 5 and until 5 is 5 it is still 4. Therefore, there exist no basis in the law to bring my sleazy client before this court or, dare I say, before any court of law across the Fruited Plain.

 

I ask the court to throw out this case based on Established Legal Precedence and issue an apology to my client.

 

As much as I am not in favor of bringing law suits against our Judicial System itself, I feel obligated to point out that I can definitely see the possibility of such a court action. I can see the headline clearly…

Sexual Harasser Files Law Suit Claiming Harassment of a Sexual Harasser Before He Has Admitted To All Of His Sexual Harassing

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

4 New Things I Learned And 1 New Conclusion Drawn As A Result Of Our 28 Hour Irma Caused No Electricity Saga

Learned… Gravity still works when you lose Electricity. If you see Sir Isaac Newton around your neck of the woods, tell him we appreciate his setting up the Law of Gravity this way, otherwise we would not have been able to take Showers.

 

Learned… If I sit in front of a TV that does not light up because it does not have electricity while the Saints are playing on Monday Night Football, the Saints still lose.

 

Learned… The Force of Habit is very strong. During a 28 hour power outage, I stumbled into 112 rooms with a flashlight in hand but still flipped the light switch as I entered or exited.

 

Learned… Cell Phones still work. Thank Heaven! This means Facebook Obsessed America (not me) can keep up with all of its “friends” (the far greater majority of these “friends” they will never meet in their entire lives)…

Ø They can tell them they had a Peanut Butter Sandwich for lunch (Who the heck cares?).

Ø They can tell them they changed their Facebook Picture (Who the heck cares?).

Ø They can tell them they just dozed off while watching a Nuclear Hurricane Irma mess up Florida (Did I really just peck out Nuclear Hurricane?).

 

Don’t blame me for this Nuclear Exaggeration. I did not come up with it. The Mayor of Miami Beach coined that phrase. I expected to see a Mushroom Shaped Cloud sweep across Florida.

 

Concluded… I have now concluded that a large number of people that I used to disagree with are right about something I disagreed with them about. I speak of those who say that it is not fair that some of us have more than some of us. I now believe that, if I lose electricity, the electricity of everyone else in the Good Ole USofA who did not lose electricity should be cut off. It only fair!

 

Those of you who are still without power don’t know it yet but you have this Blog Posting to look forward to when you get your power back. That’s a good thing…Or is it?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Protecting The Privacy Of Criminals Is Guaranteed By The Constitution…Or Is It? (Part 1 of 3)

Why are we even having this conversation? What conversation you ask? Did I neglect to tell you? Please forgive me. The conversation is…

Is Criminal Privacy Protection Really More Important Than Law Abiding Citizen Protection?

BART is the public transportation system in the San Francisco Bay Area. BART is concerned about Racial Stereotyping, therefore, it was refusing to show videos it had in its possession of criminals committing crimes on its trains.

 

A lawsuit was filed to force BART to show the bad guys doing the bad things they did.

 

Click the 7/26/17 link below to hear all about BART’s “principled” stand…

http://video.foxnews.com/v/5521961383001/?#sp=show-clips

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Eventually BART was forced to release a video and here is what happened…

Suspect Arrested in 2 Unprovoked Attacks on BART Trains

By Filipa Joannou and Alison Graham

Updated 4:43pm, Monday, August 7, 2017

 

“A suspect in two unprovoked attacks on passengers riding on BART trains in the past week was arrested Monday morning, 2.5 hours after police released surveillance photos of him, officials said.

 

BART Deputy Police Chief Ed Alvarez said an Oakland firefighter recognized the suspect from the surveillance images and reported him to police.”

 

I wonder if BART now sees the correlation between Releasing the Videos and Catching Bad Guys who attacked its Law Abiding Citizen Riders or are we about to hear and see a Bart Spokesman step up to the mike and issue a lawyer-approved statement that goes something like this?...

I wish to assure our criminal element riders that they should not draw any erroneous conclusions about this being an on-going policy regarding BART’s continued release of videos showing you non-law abiding criminals committing crimes on our trains.

Our lawyers are in consultation at this very moment finding out exactly how this release happened. At this moment we are baffled but BART wants our Criminal Ridership to know that we have your best interest at heart.

Yes, we are very aware that Criminals Are People Too!

------------------------

I also wonder if one of BART’s concerns is loss of revenue if criminals were to quit riding their trains.

 

If so, I feel certain the Federal Government probably has funds set aside to supplement BART’s income until they can entice the criminals to start riding (and attacking) again.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: There was a famous Bear Actor (a real Kodiak Bear that was an actor in many movies) that killed his trainer on April 23, 2008. The Bear Actor was named BART. I wonder if there is a video of BART killing his trainer. If there is a video of BART killing his trainer, I wonder if they smudged out BART’s Head in the interest of Bart’s Privacy Concerns.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn Is Really Angry And He’s Not The Only One

This angry exchange just took place on the floor of the Senate…

Ø Senator Leghorn: “What the hell is going on here! I’ve been lied to for the whole time I have been in this here Senate!”

Ø The Guy with the Hammer Who Just Had His Facebooking Interrupted by Senator Leghorn’s Outburst: “Senator, this is the foremost deliberative body in the world and we do not allow the use of words like “hell” while we are engaged in foremost deliberating!”

Ø Senator Leghorn: “I apologize, your honor, but this is outrageous! From the first day I had the high honor of walking into this hallowed chamber, I have been told that the Road Was Endless. I was assured that I did not need to worry about Kicking the Can Down the Road because the road was never ending. All I had to do was to keep kicking and one day pigeons would be pooping on my statue. Now, my Ivy League Educated Pompous Aide just told me that someday we are going to have to take action on at least a couple of kicked down stuff like…Debt Limit, DACA, North Korea, Tax Reform, Obamacare, Crumbling Infrastructure, ISIS, Hurricane Disaster Relief, NAFTA, that Iran Deal (whatever that’s about), Balance of Payments, Inflation, Military Preparedness, Venezuela, Low Interest Rates, High Interest Rates, etc.”

Ø The Guy with the Hammer Who Just Had His Facebooking Interrupted by Senator Leghorn’s Outburst: “Calm down, Senator, it’s Football Season. The folks back home are paying us no never mind. Once Football Season is over it will be Basketball Playoffs. Then we just have to make it through a few months where we have to act like we are doing something about something. Then it will be Football Season and the cycle repeats itself. Relax, pigeons will be pooping on your statue before you know it. So you see, my good friend, The Road is Endless.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Bedeviling Is Easy

On the front page of the 9/5/17 USA Today is this headline…

DACA Could Bedevil Congress

I thought this was amusing and my silly mind started thinking about other things that could Bedevil Congress. I was covered up by a virtual avalanche of things that could send our 9% Approval Rated Congress into a tizzy. …

Ø Oh my gosh! We are back from Recess (aks: Home Work Period, Vacation, Time Off, Kick the Can Down the Road Practice Breaks)! What do we do now?

Ø Quick someone help me out here! That nosey reporter just asked me which state I represent. I’ve been here so long I can’t remember.

Ø What's this Quorum Thing we keep talking about?

Ø What do you mean I have to cast a vote today? I don’t have time now. I’m very busy updating my Facebook Page about what I had for lunch.

Ø No I will not be able to make a speech on the floor this afternoon. I have set aside time to work on that special project President Reagan gave to me a while back. I have a feeling he is going to be looking me up and asking what my conclusions are any day now. He’s not known to be a patient man, you know.

Ø What do you mean Martha’s Vineyard is not my State? I have been going there for 23 years on my Recess, Home Work Period, Vacation, Time Off and my Kick the Can Down the Road Practice Breaks. They really seem to like me there. Now I know why they always say to me, “Senator, I’d vote for you, if I could.” Next thing you will try and tell me is that Martha’s Vineyard is not even a State at all.

I could go on and on but I think you get my drift.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It’s Not That I Don’t Trust My Fellow Man, It’s Just That My Fellow Man Keeps Stealing From Me

If you are a Buckster (one who frequents Starbucks), you may not care to read this Blog Posting because you just don’t care about Starbucks or anything having to do with Starbucks but think before you delete because this Blog Posting is not really about Starbucks.

 

If you think that Your Fellow Man is honest as the day is long, you might be well advised to read this Blog Posting because that hand in your pocket may not be yours.

 

Starbucks has a Rewards Program (doesn’t everybody?) for their frequent customers. If you are a Buckster and you spend a fortune in their stores, Mr. Starbuck will see to it that you get a small something worth a small something to keep you coming back to spend another fortune.

 

This Foolishness…Or Is It? is actually about the lengths your fellow man will go to to become eligible for a small something worth a small something at the Starbucks Store of his choice.

 

Here is where the plot thickens…

Costco sells Starbucks French Roast Beans in 2.5 pound bags.

 

On these bags is a Peel-Off Sticker with a code that you can transmit to Starbucks and receive 20 Points toward a small something worth a small something.

 

Being sly, cunning and alert I have taken note (remember I am a Noticer) that my fellow man has started pulling off the Stickers of the displayed bags of Starbucks Beans that are waiting for me to come to buy them and get my Rewards Sticker.

 

Maybe this is a shortcoming of mine but I never would have thought of doing something like this.

 

I wonder if there were a display in Costco’s with a pad of pull-off coupons with a sign that read, “Take a coupon (please take only one coupon) and bring to that unsavory looking big guy just outside the store entrance. His name is Mongo. Present your coupon to Mongo and he will hall off and punch you right in your nose as hard as he can.”

 

I would be willing to bet that some of my Fellow Men would take more than one coupon just because they could not help taking more than one coupon.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella