Confused Creatures From Outer Space

Imagine along with me for a moment...

• A space ship from where no man has gone before outer space is hovering above the earth.
• He studies a Human Being and a Dog out for a walk.
• The Dog periodically poops and proudly prances to the end of his leach.
• The Human Being gets down on his hands and knees and picks up the pooped poop and puts it in a poop bag and puts the poop containing bag in his pocket.

The question for you, my dear reader, is...

Which Being Would the Observing Space Creature Think is the Superior Being?

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I know you are dying for more silliness on this subject, so I will continue on this subject.

My newspaper has informed me that the town in which I reside is having an election to determine which of four candidates will be chosen as Top Dog. Residents in good standing can vote at any one of Five Polling Locations through September 30. The news article tells me and my fellow Duluthians...

“Four Four-Legged Candidates are Vying for the Title of Mayor of Chattapoochee Dog Park”

The Silliness never ends around here. For those of you in Australia who are reading this Blog Posting I should explain that we have a river in these parts named Chattahoochee. The Dog Park is named Chattapoochee! Get it? Are you sorry you got it?

We don’t go throwing around our awards and honors lightly in Georgia. My newspaper explains what qualifies Honey, Marley, Moon Pie and Penny to become eligible for this ballot...

“The candidates were selected based on their Community Involvement, Application Presentation and their Campaign Statements describing their recommendations for Chattapoochee Dog Park”

This is the next sentence after the prior centered bolded sentence. You may think I immediately pecked out this next sentence after pecking out the prior centered bolded sentence. Actually it has been about five minutes between the two sentences. After I pecked out the silliness about Involvement, Presentation and Statements I ran out into the street and shouted as loud as I could, “What the heck is wrong with us?!” (Yes, you are right, I did not say “heck”.)

The Dogs are winning! I think Congress ought to pass a law that would say that any About To Be Dog Buyer has to watch a Computerized Presentation that would inform him of such things as...

• A picture of how much poop will have to be picked up in the years to come.
• The amount of money that will be spent on Dog Accessories of All Kinds, Vets Bills, Rug Cleaning, Food, Replacement of Furniture and Over Night Stays in the Pouchie Palace. (I am sure there are a myriad of expenses I missed but you get my drift.)
• The numbers of hours that will be spent having the Dog lead the buyer around the neighborhood.
• A footnote ought to be included to show the tabulation of the number of hours in the above bullet that were spent in the rain or snow or middle of the night.
• The number of times formerly friendly neighbors will knock on your door accusing your Dog of pooping on their lawns.
• The number of arguments in his household that will occur about whose turn it is to walk the Dog.
• The numbers of times you will shout at your Dog to stop barking at everything from Falling Leaves to Joggers to your 96 Year Old Neighbor pushing her Walker Down the Sidewalk.

It’s those ears! They hear everything! If we used to be able to put a man on the moon, why have we not invented Ear Plugs for Dogs?

Have you wondered why Dogs have such complete control over their “Masters”? I know why and you are about to know why, after you read the sentence below...

Dog Spelled Backwards Is God

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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43 Things Tags: Creatures Fro Outer Space,Dogs,Chattapoochee