Snow Flakes Are Out To Get You!

According to a published newspaper article there is bacteria in snowflakes. This is alarming news! I, a highly capable creator of Foolishness, am ready to describe to you the future. Knowing what is to come will permit you to better prepare yourself to protect your loved ones. Listed below are news stories we are sure to see...

• Eight-year-old arrested and taken to jail for throwing a snowball at an unsuspecting playmate.
• Research has shown that ingesting a mere 3,217,412 snowflakes is the equivalent of drinking 17 gallons of milk from a Chernobyl Cow.
• Parents have their three children removed by Social Services for allowing their driveway to remain snow covered for 48 hours.
• The tiny hamlet of Winnewaka, Minnesota is the first to construct Covered Snow-Deflector Walkways from every one of their school bus stops to every one of their school bus delivered children’s front doors.

Image via Wikipedia 

Demonstrations are increasing throughout the country for similar action to be taken by other local municipalities. Protesting parents in Whatize, New York were interviewed and their responses below show how dire they regard SnowflakeGate to be...

• “If Winnewaka can do it, why can’t we do it?” 
• “Are our children not as precious as Winnewaka’s children?” 
• “I see no recourse but to recall our useless mayor and every one of his cronies on the city council.”

You probably think I am over reacting. Go ahead and mock me. I am telling you now that I will expect an EOA (Email of Apology) from each of you when my predictions come to fruition.

Would I kid u?