Rewriting History … Again

I see where the Governor of New Mexico is hankering (that’s old west talk for yearning to) pardon Billy The Kid. The Smartfella? always finds himself hankering to understand why his fellow man gets himself all tangled up about such things. Such happenings always bring up questions in my puzzled mind…

• Why bother taking the time to hanker to to do it?
• Should not the governor be devoting his time to more pressing issues?

If little Billy is actually pardoned, it seems just as logical to consider other equally silly actions that ought to follow right behind…

• Should we not forgive Ivan the Terrible for being terrible?
• Once little Billy is pardoned should we not then declare that the 21 people he killed did not become dead?
• Should not the descendants who were not born of the 21 people who were not killed then be given compensation for the life that they did not lead?

As an aside…

In doing my extensive research for this Foolishness, I spend 20 minutes reading a site on the Internet about Billy the Kid called Fact vs. Myth. This was, at the same time, very enlightening and confusing. I found out that everything we know about little Billy is not true, starting with He Was Not Little…

• He did not kill 21 people.
• He was not ugly.
• He lived to a ripe old age (probably on a Brussels Sprouts Farm with Butch Cassidy & Elvis).
• He did not have a bad temper.
• He had a good sense of humor.
• He was not a big time cattle rustler.
• He did not join Jesse James’ Gang.
• He did not kill his first man because that man insulted his mother.
• He was not chubby.
• He was not left-handed but was ambidextrous and primarily right-handed.
• He was not illiterate.
• He did not shoot a man in a hotel for snoring too loud. 
• He did not drink too much.

Heck, this guy was a saint! The least the Governor could do would be to change his name to Billy the Adult.

Would I kid u?

Little Spaces Mean A Lot

I recently bought a dress shirt from Wal-Mart that was made in China. It really looks as nice as one of those shirts that cost 5 times as much which is sold in that store that advertises every week on TV. You know the one where you buy sports coat and you get 5 shirts, 3 sweaters, 4 pair of pants and 1 kitchen sink for free.

There is one problem with the shirt. It takes a herculean effort to drive any button on the shirt through to the other side of the hole.

The problem is that there is a severe shortage of Button Hole Space in China. This is the main reason driving China to be so aggressive. They are fully prepared to go to war to acquire more hole space. This, of course, is the primary reason for their current massive military buildup.

If we, as a society, would donate our excess hole space to some international do-good group and have them ship it over to China, they might like us more and we could save a lot of lives in the future.

Or maybe we could just send them a lot of small buttons.

Would I kid u?

Don’t They Have Anything Better To Do?

Is there an answer to the subject question of this Foolishness…Or Is It?  Yes there is an answer. It is a very loud and emphatic, You bet there is!. The problem is I seem to be the only person who knows that answer.

What the heck am I talking about? Again it involves our elected representatives. I hope I’m not getting into a rut here but the Foolishness just keeps flowing out of the Halls Of Congress. Please, allow me to explain…

My research tells me that, during the reign of the Congress that just concluded, our representatives took valuable time to issue hundreds of Congressional Commendations (they do this during the reign of every congress). I tried to research just how many had been promulgated during 2010 but I could not pin it down. A few days ago I heard a Talking Head say that it was 700 but I could not verify that figure on the Internet. Therefore, I will not say it was 700 because, I may be Foolish, but I try to be accurate about my Foolishness. Let’s just say it was a whole bunch.

What I did find out while doing my research was Congress Commended such silly things as (three examples)…

1. A female Little League baseball player who did good.
2. Any number of people whose major accomplishment in life appears to have been that they lived long enough to become old.
3. Acknowledged the man who established the first bakery on Saipan after American troops successfully defeated Japanese forces in 1944.

The problem is the cart is before the horse here. If these Commendations were something that happened at the end of a Congressional Session after all important business had been concluded, I would not have been inspired to concoct this Foolishness. The sad news is we just concluded a congressional Lame Duck Session that was cram packed with really important legislation.

Somewhere back in the prior eleven months that this congress was in session they found time to do umpteen Congressional Commendations. Then at the very end of the session they got around to a whole bunch of the “really important” stuff. This really important stuff was hammered together in a wild, cantankerous, finger pointing filled, up against the Christmas Break and full frenzied couple of weeks.

If you are one who spends his day watching the ESPAN channels and you see a member of our 9% Approval Rating Congress step to the podium and say, “I rise today in recognition of…”, use those words as your signal to take a nap, got to the rest room or go get a beer. If you stay in your chair, you are going to waste your time watching one of our members of congress waste his time.

Would I kid u?

If We Could Get Rid Of This Guy, We Could Afford Anything!

I saw an ad in today’s newspaper for a Hearing Aid Device. Here is what the ad promised:

• You will be able to hear pins drop.
• It is so small it is barely visible.
• It has an Advanced Micro-Chip that gives you remarkable sound quality.
• You will be able to hear every sound loud and clear.
• You will be able to listen to TV and hear everything.
• It is great at the movies and in live theaters.
• You will hear all of nature’s sounds.
• You will be able to participate in conversations without missing a word.
• You will be able to hear what others are saying – even if they are far away.

Does that sound (read) great?

Must cost a fortune! Cost is the reason for this Foolishness…Or Is It?. This wonderful hearing aid cost only $9.95 per ear!

Too hard to believe? The advertiser has a very good explanation why it is so cheap…

“We cut away unnecessary middlemen and sell directly to you.”

There you have it. This is the reason why things cost so much. It is the evil middleman! This dastardly fellow has taken the cost of hearing aids from $9.95 to $3699.99 per ear! That’s quite a markup!

If we could just get our 9% Approval Rating Congress to hold some hearings and pass some laws about this awful situation, we could all be happily watching really inexpensive Big Screen TVs, using I-Thingies of all kinds and feeling the beat of life-saving New Heart Valves for mere pittances.

Would I kid u?

I Get All My “Inspiration” For Blog Postings From The Newspaper … Or Do I?

This time I got my Foolishness from this night’s TV news.

It seems the Senate is wrestling today with an Omnibus Spending Bill that is just under 2,000 pages long.

Remember Obama Care? It was 2,700 pages long.

The Stimulus Bill was more than 1,400 pages long.

I just got the following information online from Political Hotsheet of October 10, 2009… “It should be noted that spending bills routinely exceed 1,000 pages, as do some other bills. President Bush's 2007 budget bill was 1,482 pages long.”

This one is easy…
I propose that our Congress pass and our President sign into law a bill that stipulates that spending bills must be less than 1,000 pages.

Do you think I need be more specific? OK I will be more specific…
I propose that our Congress pass and our President sign into law a bill that stipulates that spending bills must be less than 12 pages long.

Congress might just go for this if the proponents of the 12 Pages & No More Than 12 Pages Bill would point out that bills of this size would ensure that they could all be at Happy Hour when the bell rings … Every Day!

Would I kid u?

Wal-Mart ... Guilty Again

If you read the newspaper on a regular basis you will see many articles that tell you that Wal-Mart is an evil beyond comprehension. Almost every time they want to open a store there are articles about how the new store will be awful for the neighborhood, the environment, the traffic flow, the health care of the employees (especially The Children), the trees, the migration path of the caribou, etc. Then, when the store opens up, it is covered up with shoppers eager to save money.

I am not just pecking this out for finger exercise. I have a solution to propose...

• The federal government ought to take an active roll to minimize the footprint of Wal-Mart.
• Our Government should buy a huge track of land to accommodate all the stores that Wal-Mart will build in the next 50 years.
• Then all of the next 50 years stores could be built in one location.
• I'm certain each of you have already seen the benefit to our society by taking this bold action...

o Only one neighborhood will be negatively affected.

o The environment will only be damaged in one location.

o Traffic patterns will not be disrupted anywhere but this one location.

o The health care of the employees would still be an issue but I have faith that our 9% Approval Rating Congress is chomping at the bit to address this problem because it directly affects The Children of the employees.

o Trees would only have to be removed in this one area and, if we selected a location in the middle of Death Valley, this issue would become mute.

o I also have faith that our 9% Approval Rating Congress could find an area that would not interfere with the migration path of the caribou.

Being as sharp as I know all of you to be, you are probably thinking to yourselves that I have missed out on where the Federal Government will get the money to finance this huge undertaking. I've also have that covered...The Tobacco Tax. This is where Congress already gets a lot of its money.

I do see the fallacy of depending so often on the Tobacco Tax. We, as a society, are smoking less and this tax revenue source is drying up. I propose to counter this decrease in tax revenue by collecting five cent per cigarette from people who used to smoke but are now guilty of trying to smoke less and preventing our rulers from collecting a tax on what they were smoking when they were smoking. Makes sense to me!

Would I kid u?

There Is More To Football Than Big Guys Playing Football Games

I am in the middle of reading the New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton’s book entitled Home Team. While I am enjoying his book greatly, this is not a pitch for you to buy this book. Is a simply a recommendation that you read Chapter 19, Do Good.

Go into your local book store, stand in the aisle and read this single chapter.

It will make you feel better about the world in which you live.

Would I kid u?

Are They Making These Things Up?

I have already written a blog about Exit Polls which questioned how they report such minute detail about how we voted immediately after we voted.

This one is just as silly and just as unbelievable. It’s about Black Friday Shopping Statistics.

                     

A mere two days after we survived Black Friday we are being told…

• Sales were up .3%.
• Total sales were $10,690,000,000 (always amazes me that such reported numbers come out to exact round figures).
• There was a 2.2% increase in Floor Traffic.

Let us think about these numbers a bit…

• Less than 48 hours after we started charging through the doors of retailers all across the good ole USofA they know that we bought $32,070,000 more stuff than the prior year.
• With regard to that $10,690,000,000 total sales figure, please do not lose track of the fact that this is Ten Point Six Nine Thousand Million Dollars.

As for the Floor Traffic… How could they possibly know that there was not a 2.1% or a 2.3% increase in floor traffic but an exact 2.2% increase? I also think this is why the parking lots are so full. There must be a bureaucrat following each one of us in and out of all the stores we trafficked into.

Imagine how we could stimulate the economy if the Numbers Counters would release these Traffic Followers from their assigned duties and told them to go shopping instead of following us around all day.

I want you to know that I did my part to contribute to the total sales of $10,690,000,000. I am now the proud owner of a 50 Pack of CD-R Disks for which I paid $4.99.

Please do not add a comment to this blog posting telling me how proud you are of me for my purchase. I am more than glad to do my part to contribute to our economic recovery during this dire economic situation.

Would I kid u?

Safe, Secure And Protected From Everything

It gives me a great sense of security to know that “they” are looking out for me at all times. On the other hand, there are times that I wish “they” would leave me to my own devices (whatever that means).

The other day I was sitting in a nice quiet restaurant waiting for my nice quiet lunch to arrive and I took note of the following...

Contents Under Pressure, bottle may burst or cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Be sure to always point away from face and people, especially while opening.

I have never been attacked by a soda pop bottle and now that I have wasted my time reading this warning you can bet I will never be attacked by a soda pop bottle in the future.

----------------------------

It was many years ago as I was assembling a bicycle on Christmas Eve when I first became aware that “they” were looking out for me (and my son).

I had just laid out all the parts on the floor. There were about 50 parts to be assembled into what was to become my son’s new bicycle. I opened up the instructions and the first two entries on the Assembly List were the following warnings...

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. THIS IS NOT AN EXAMPLE OF MY CREATIVE FOOLISHNESS.

Warning #1... This product must be assembled by a competent person.
I looked behind myself and found no one back there, so I went ahead with my project.

Warning #2... This product must be assembled before use.
Having already laid out the 50 parts, I already knew that they had to be assembled.

----------------------------

Are you ready? Here comes the official start of my Creative Foolishness...

Nerf Balls were invented to keep our little ones from hurting themselves (bent fingers, black eyes, broken finger nails, bruised chest tissue, etc.). The question facing us today is... Is there still child endangerment lurking in Nerf Balls?

Is it not possible that a little American could get his family scissors and cut the Nerf Ball into pieces small enough that he could try to eat the little tasty looking nerf ball pieces and get them caught in his little throat and choke his little self to death?

The way I see it the Little People Protection Association of America* (LPPAA) ought to organize a nationwide effort to get all Nerf Balls removed from harm’s way. In every home they ought to be placed on a high shelf out of reach from small people. Then and only then will our little ones be Safe, Secure and Protected.

Will little Americans miss their Nerf Balls? I’m sure they will but this action is being recommended for their own good.

In the future, the fathers of America can periodically lift up their children and let them gaze upon the Family’s Nerf Ball. As a matter of fact, Child Lifting to allow Child Gazing ought to be a Federal Law. That ought to do it.

Would I kid u?
* The LPPAA National Convention is held every year in Las Vegas on the first weekend of July. Free admission can be obtained by bringing a dangerous child toy for analysis by the Top Shelf Committee.

I’m Determined To Worry About Something Else

We all know that we are required by Federal Law to worry about lots of different things. There is some speculation inside the Beltway that this Federal Law does allow us to select what we worry about. Others say that we do not have this prerogative and we do, in fact, have to worry about everything… Or do we?

The latest big worry that has been directed my way is…

There Is Lead In Some Reusable Cloth Bags

“TAMPA TRIBUNE November 19, 2010- Besides causing learning disabilities in children, the toxic chemical lead is especially good at making green inks look greener and yellow inks yellower.

That's the most likely reason why recent tests commissioned by The Tampa Tribune found elevated lead levels in elaborately decorated grocery bags sold at Winn-Dixie and Publix, according to executives in the promotional merchandise manufacturing industry.”

Now I probably do not know what I am talking about (so what’s new?) but I have decided that this is one worrisome thing that I am not going to worry about…

• The amount of time that my cantaloupe is going to spend in my Elaborately Decorated Reusable Cloth Bag is probably about 20 minutes (time it takes to drive home from the grocery store).
• In my uninformed opinion, I believe that it will take a lot longer than 20 minutes for those evil thingies inside that leaded bag to leach into my unsuspecting piece of fruit.
• My uninformed and Foolish opinion goes a bit further and says that it would probably take about 52 years of being wrapped up in my Elaborately Decorated Reusable Cloth Bag for my cantaloupe's skin to be penetrated.

OK, I got carried away in my third bullet above… Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Donuts Or Christmas – They Are Very Much Alike

It was fun to watch that old Dunkin Donuts Commercial where the chubby, bleary-eyed man stumbles out of his bedroom and, while wiping his eyes, he says, “Time To Make The Donuts”.

The same thing happens every year with the Christmas Shopping Season. The people who feed us our thoughts have in their word processors articles that predict for us every year how bad the Christmas Shopping Season is going to be. They just change a few “facts” in the article and change the date and publish it to us and there you have it, We Are All Worried About How Bad It Is Going To Be...again

We worry about...

• Do we have a personal obligation to spend more money than we thought we were going to spend or even more than we have in order to keep the economy going?
• These articles cause us to be greatly concerned about the children of the Christmas Retailers who depend so much on the Christmas Buying Frenzy for their continuing ability to buy stuff for themselves.
• If there really is a Santa Claus, how could he allow this to happen?

Then Christmas comes and goes (it does this every year) and, if (as so often happens) the Christmas Shopping Season turned out to be not as bad as predicted or absolutely bonkers good, we read about it on Page 42 of Section C of our newspaper.

Would I kid u?

Already Been Worn Out Jeans For Sale

My wife used to have a part-time job at Bloomingdale's Department Store. One time when I went to pick her up my confusion about the world I live in went up another notch or two.

Image via Wikipedia 

When I was a small person, my mother would periodically send me down to Weinstein's Department Store to buy a replacement pair of Blue Jeans. This was not a big department store but a small family owned neighborhood establishment. She would give me a $5 bill to make my purchase. I would pay Mr. Weinstein $3.47. After I had completed my purchase, I would worry my little self all the way home. My concern was, if I kept throwing money around like this, would my parents be able to make ends meet.

When I returned home with my new pair of Levis my mother was always expectant (expecting the change).

Why was I throwing my mother’s money around like that? It was because my present pair of jeans was worn out, had holes in them and they just looked terrible.

At Bloomingdale’s that day I saw numerous pairs of jeans on display that looked like those I had replaced when I was a kid. They were worn out looking, faded, frayed and had lots of holes in them. It looked like they had been recycled from Mr. Weinstein's trash dumpster behind his store.

They had been, of course, made to look old but they were new. The most shocking part is they did not cost $3.47. These jeans cost $260. Why do they cost $260? Is this high price because the manufacturer had to pay some Chinaman to wear them for two years to make them ready for sale to trendy Americans?

Something is wrong here. Wine and Tabasco Sauce have to be aged before those products are ready for sale. This may be the same principle. These jeans are “aged”.

The line above could very well be the end of this foolishness but the silliness is going to go on a wee bit more.

Yesterday’s newspaper ads tell me that trendy (trendy = silly) Americans are handing over their money for the likes of:

• Bikini swim suit top for $265 and bottom for $135 (total $400). If the manufacturer would beat the suit with a hammer and rip some holes in them with a pitch fork, they could really charge a lot.
• A Rag & Bone (whatever that is) Sweater for $425. Mr. Weinstein sold the likes of them for $8.95 plus tax.
• A Yacht Club Chronograph for $23,100. It looks a lot like the $14 Timex on my arm at this moment.

All these products above are, of course, a much higher quality than those that were for sale at Weinstein’s and Woolworth’s 5 & 10 Cents Store… Or are they?

Would I kid u?

Accidents Happen ... Or At Least They Used To

When I was young my Mother (and lots of other mothers, fathers, neighbors, barbers, etc.) would tell me, “Accidents Happen”. That was a long time ago because I come from a long time ago.

Things are different now. Whenever anything bad happens now (also known as, something for which a law suit could be filed), it is somebody’s fault. With any luck it will be the fault of someone or something with a lot of money.

I grew up dependent upon unassailable truths like...

• “A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned” has now been replaced by, “A penny ain’t much. Throw it on the ground as soon as you walk out of McDonald’s”.
• “A Stitch In Time Is Worth Nine” has now been replaced by, “Throw it away. Go to the mall and buy another one”.

The old saying that worried me the most as a child was the one where, after I asked my Mother for a nickel she would say to me, “If I had a nickel, I would sit up and watch it all night”. This was very traumatic to my little mind. I would immediately start worrying about what, if anything, we were going to eat for supper that night.

Would I kid u?

Initial Product Offering?

Billy Durant founder of General Motors

General Motors began as a Corporation in September 1908 but in the very near future it will have its Initial Public Offering (IPO).

How can that be? Does not “initial” have something to do with First Time or Original?

Maybe they are confused over at GM? Maybe they got their wording mixed up? Maybe they ought to be having...

• An “Another Public Offering” (APO)?
• A “We Really Need the Money Public Offering” (WRNMPO).
• A “Latest Public Offering” (LPO).

At first I thought GM’s Initial Public Offering idea was foolish. Considering everything else that is going on in the world, this one is probably not very high on the Foolishness Scale... Or is it?

Would I kid u?

That Was Then ... This Is Now

I read in my newspaper recently where a manager in a McDonald's in Brazil has successfully sued his employer for a 65 pound weight gain he experienced over the twelve years he was employed as a manager. The court paid him $17,500.

He contended in his suit that he was forced (notice the use of the word “forced”) to eat the food from his restaurant each day in order to ensure quality standard remained high. He felt great pressure from McDonald’s because it hired “mystery clients” to randomly visit the restaurant he managed to report on food, service and cleanliness (notice how he almost makes this mystery shopping sound evil).

Oh, by the way, he did not have to pay for the food he ate.

The Smartfella? is able to see into the future. I knew this law suit was coming the day he was hired twelve years ago. In anticipation of this day, I had a dentist friend of mine in Brazil implant a solar powered electronic bug in this guy’s left front tooth. During these twelve years I recorded him saying 323,667 times... What a great place to work! I love it here! The best part is I don’t have to pay for any of the food I eat!

Now fatso sits on the witness stand and says he was “forced” to eat all that yummy food.

I wonder if he had been employed as a Hangman, and he had been told he could hang himself as often as he wanted, how many times he would have stretched his rope in order to ensure that he was a quality hangman.

I sure glad I live in the good ole USofA where our society is not as law suit happy as they are in Brazil... Or are we?

Would I kid u?

A Voice Crying In The Wilderness...Me!

I am on the outside looking in. I am not sure what a “Blogger” is but I certainly am one...I think.

I keep hearing news reports like...
 Democrat legislators met with Democratic/Liberal/Progressive Bloggers.
 Republican legislators seeking input from Republican/Conservative Bloggers.

What I don’t hear about is...

 Democrat legislators met with Foolish Bloggers.

 Republican legislators seeking input from Silly Bloggers.

They just don’t want to hear what I have to say.

Over the weekend I traveled to Washington, D.C. to try and find out why I am being ignored. I went into a frequented Congressional Watering Hole yesterday disguised again as a potted plant to attend the Friday Night Happy Hour (The Friday Night Happy Hour was still going strong on Sunday Night.)

On several occasions I actually did hear my Blog being discussed. The question would be posed... Do you think we should contact the Smartfella? and get his input?

Every time that question was asked the same answer came back...

No need to bother with that. He consistently uses Common Sense in his blog postings. The Folks (they love to call us “folks”) back on Main Street would not know what the heck he is talking about.

More importantly, you should not forget, he comes from outside the Beltway and any thinking from outside the Beltway is unimportant because it does not come from inside the Beltway.

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella? Will Not Be Elected President!

As we wind down this awful Mid-Term Election Cycle it has become apparent that our slide down the Slippery Slope is still accelerating.

There was a time when we thought that the Truth, Justice and the American Way was what we were all about. Now it appears that we are all about Obfuscation, Trickery and We Know What You Did Thirty Years Ago.

Our candidates don't talk about Issues very much. Instead we bombarded with Rumors, Out-Right Lies and Molehill Magnifications.

Those of you who read my Foolishness…Or Is Its? know I often use the absurd to make what I think are logical points. This is exactly why I can’t be President of the good ole USofA. My silliness would certainly be taken out of context and I would be beaten into submission.

Here are just three examples…

• Criminal Education… I have advocated educating our criminals so that they will become more effective at their chosen profession.
• Economic Pump Priming… Contrary to the wishes of our Federal Government which wants us to spend every dollar we get our hands on, I have dared to put in writing my long-held belief that we ought to save our money.
• Child Safety… I openly took the position that riding babies backwards in the rear seats of automobiles is confusing the little tykes.

Can’t you just hear my worthy opponent tear me limb from political limb in our nationally televised debate? I would not have a chance.

It could be worse. At least they never found out that I dipped Margo Quigley’s pig tail in my ink well… Or did they?

Would I kid u?

Do The Police Really Protect Us From Everything?

I recently read in my newspaper where a man had gone to his Police Department complaining that he had been sold some Bad Marijuana.

A Police Department spokesman was quoted as saying there was an investigation of the complaining man in process on a charge of “Possession of a Counterfeit Controlled Substance”.

You think I am making up more “facts” do you not? It is a fact that I have not made up anything you have read above.

Below I will make stuff up … Or will I?

Headlines of the Future…

• Angry Man Returns Box Of Dynamite To Hardware Store Complaining That It Had Not Blown Up City Hall.

• Despondent Would-Be Shooter, “I Thought I was Really Going To Wreak Havoc In The Bowling Alley Last Night But My AK47 Jammed. Can I sue the Russians?”

Just is case you still do not believe me, I will say it again, the First Two Paragraphs of this Foolishness…Or Is It? were not made up. The following is a quote from the news article, “the incident remains under investigation and the man could face a charge of possessing a counterfeit controlled substance”.

Would I kid u?

We Ought To Know What We Are Doing ... Ought We Not?

 

I have written before about our 9% Approval Rating Congress not knowing what they are doing. This posting is a bit of a takeoff on the “not knowing” part of the prior sentence and attempts to zero in on...

What they don’t know even though it is right in front of them.

I just read a news article in my newspaper and I did not get beyond the first line when I knew I was looking at the makings of a Foolishness...Or Is It? commentary.

It is not important what the actual article itself was about. If I got into the article’s content, some of you might take issue with my political leanings and the Smartfella? definitely has political leanings. He just does not write about his leanings in his blog for fear of being attacked by people who think they are smarter than he is smart. Everyone is entitled to his own stupid opinion and that definitely includes me.

The first line of the article says,

A little-noticed provision in the annual defense-spending bill...”

There it is... “little-noticed”! Why is it little-noticed? This brings up several questions...

• Are the bills so big that our congress does not or cannot know what is in them?
• Are the bills so confusing that our congress does not or cannot know what is in them?
• Is our congress not reading these bills?
• Who is writing these bills?

Part of the answer is that the bills are too long and too complicated to be understood, even if they were being read, but that does not make me feel one bit better. Do you feel one bit better?

Would I kid u?

Becoming Special Before Doing Anything Special

In our area of the good ole USofA we start the school year in the middle of August. By the first week of September I was noticing that the bulletin boards outside of our government schools were announcing the teacher who has been selected Teacher of the Year for the particular school. Does this make sense?

I was still confused about these bulletin board announcements when, in late September, I read in my paper that the School District was in the process of selecting the Teachers of the Year to be finalists for Teacher of the Year for the whole School District. The awards banquet is slated for November 4th.

Wow, these people work fast! After less than three months of a nine month school year they already know who the best of the best is.

Most reports show American Children falling behind the children from the rest of the world with regard to education. Imagine how fast and far they would be falling behind if our teachers were not so fast.

Would I kid u?

Not Worrying About Hurricanes

Image via WikipediaI grew up in New Orleans. Hurricanes in my youth were exciting but really no big deal. My father would put masking tape on the plate glass window of his grocery store and we would wait for the winds to blow.

We would sit outside unless and until the winds got really bad and then we would go inside to “ride out” the rest of the storm looking through the masking taped plate glass window.

If the storm was a direct hit and the eye passed right over us, we would go back outside and look up through the eye hole.

If it got too late, my mother would send my brother and me to bed and we would find out the rest of the story in the morning.

One thing we never did even think of doing was leaving town.

Betsy and Katrina changed all that.

------------------------------------------------

We have now gone to the other extreme with hurricanes...

• In the old days we hardly paid any attention until the storm entered the Gulf of Mexico.
• Now our 24 Hour New Cycle starts telling us about puffs of wind that might turn into something puffier while they are still off the coast of Africa.
• We give them names when they elevate themselves to stiff breezes.

Many of these storms lately have stayed in the Atlantic and headed north into the Arctic. There they quietly turn back into puffs of wind.

By the time the hurricanes are in the process of unpuffing in the Arctic, there have been hundreds of thousands of tee-shirts sold in the Good Ole USofA that have printed on them, “I Survived Hurricane Harry In 2010”.

Would I kid u?

Sad Commentary On Politics

Is there any other commentary to be made about Politics other than sad?

Yesterday a wonderful person, a fine human being and a true hero (not a sports “hero”) was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. The first paragraph of the AP article reads as follows: “In a ceremony that mixed pain, pride and determination, President Barack Obama on Wednesday awarded the Medal of Honor to a young Army Green Beret who saved his patrol by holding off a Taliban ambush in a snowy Afghan valley two winters ago.”

Now begins my Sad Commentary...

Image via Wikipedia

What if this wonderful person had survived the war and returned home and was now running for political office. I shudder to think of all the muck that would be in the process of being hurled at this wonderful person by his opponents. Depending on how diligent the Muckrakers were, one of the mucks might even be true.

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella? Proven Right Again!

On August 4, 2006 I wrote a blog posting that made the absolutely irrefutable contention that more than One Eyewitness was one too many. I also included this brilliant piece of Foolishness in my published book Foolishness...Or Is It? which has now been read by a couple of people. I know you are eager to refresh your memory about this posting, so click on this link... http://forii.blogspot.com/2006_08_04_archive.html .

Why do I bring this up now? That’s because on September 28, 2010 my Foolishness was proven not silly ... again.

On the above referenced date a gunman wreaked havoc on the University of Texas campus. Here are the necessary details about the bad guy to prove my point...

• He was dressed in a black suit.
• He had on a ski mask.

As I watched the frenzied news channels report this riveting story in my gym I began to find myself critical of those talking heads who were saying that there might be a Second Shooter. I actually thought that a Second Shooter Theory could very well have been the result of a rumor.

I later found out that officials had more than a rumor to go on and I puffed up my chest as I realized the Smartfella? was right ... again.

The reason officials were looking for a Second Shooter was because Eye Witnesses reported varying descriptions of the Only Shooter!

What can be so complicated about ... A Black Suit and a Ski Mask?

Would I kid u?

Arnold Is Not Very Smart

Image via WikipediaI am attacking the Governor of California because he is definitely not smart. It is obvious. Don’t you see it? Anyone with any smarts at all would not want to be Governor of California and Arnold wanted to be Governor of California. If he still wants to be Governor of California after almost two full terms, he is really beyond all hope.

My newspaper tells me California is out of control...

• On the brink of insolvency.
• It soon may have to pay its bills with IOUs ... again.
• Arnold proposed a budget last January.
• The legislature had until July 1st to revise and pass a final budget.
• As of September 30th and the legislature has still not finalized a budget.

Image via WikipediaTheir defenders will say they have not been sitting on their hands. They have been passing other legislation. I decided to check out their recent legislative record.

Being open minded I called the California Legislature and asked for a conference call so I could better understand what they have been working so hard on that the budget remains unfinished.

The entire legislature consented to gather in bar so they could explain their actions to me on a speakerphone. I was very pleased that they took so much time out of their busy schedules to patiently explain to me what they have been doing. How lucky you are to be a reader of Foolishness...Or Is It?! You now get to read about and appreciate the California Legislature for all its worth...

• They are working on replacing the State Rock: “It is the intent of the Legislature to remove the serpentine as The State Rock and provide a suitable replacement.”
• Lawmakers passed the Happy Cows Bill.
• The Legislature also found the time to create the Lobster Management Enhancement Advisory Committee.
• They also passed Motorcycle Awareness Month.
• They seemed very proud that they passed Cuss Free Week.

Some legislators say it’s unfair to criticize them for spending time on matters like this. Only a few in the leadership or budget committee are involved in developing a spending plan. The rest of them must go about the normal business of lawmaking.

Just in case you have lost sight of what is normal lawmaking, please go to the beginning of this blog and read it again. This, my dear reader, is normal lawmaking.

Would I kid u?
PS: I delayed sending this posting out and now I see in my newspaper that there is more foolishness coming out of California and I have to expand this piece.

I’m going to have to cut this one off or quit reading my newspaper because the foolishness from California just keeps on coming.

“Medical” Marijuana in California is legal but having more than an ounce or less of non-medical marijuana in your possession has been a Misdemeanor.

California wants to make their Marijuana more free flowing so now they have changed this “offense” from a Misdemeanor to an Infraction.

If I had held off on finalizing this posting, I might have to modify my modification to inform you that it is now a Minor infraction or a Mini infraction or, if you do not have an ounce of Marijuana in your possession, you have committed a Felony.

Changing Another Definition ... Perfect

A few days ago I posted a blog about changing the definition of the word “Traditional”. If you want to see it again, click below ... http://forii.blogspot.com/2010/09/word-traditional-redefined.html

From time to time I have gone on a rant or two about Political Correctness or our Declining Governmental Educational System. I'll list a couple of past rants below, so u can "enjoy" them all over again...

• Trailers Where Our Students Are Schooled ... My County School System tried to put a good face on the student trailers that completely surround our schools by calling them, "Learning Cottages".
• Trophies ... The practice of Awarding Trophies to all participants in sporting contests involving our very young is absolutely silly. Our little athletes are showered with awards no matter how bad their teams were, how bad the individual sporty youths were or how many, if any, games their teams won. ... We should always not forget to remember what that great NFL linebacker, Bruiser Collisionski once said, “Let us not confuse Participation with Excellence.”
• 
  
  Image via WikipediaThe Score Is Not Important ... This Not-Keeping-Score practice in sports has been hard to enforce because somehow our young sporty children have learned to how count. The big unsolved mystery is whether our government schools taught them to count or does Sesame Street get the credit?

Now back to the reason for this blog posting...
Awhile back I was teaching a Computer Class and I went off on a tangent that was not related to computing. I blurted out that while my Brother was in High School he went all 4 years without missing a single day of school and he got the only Perfect Attendance Award given out at his graduation ceremony.

One of my students offered this commentary, "My grand daughter told me that, as long as she does not miss more than 10% of her school days, she can get a Perfect Attendance Award".

Looks to me like "they" have also changed the definition of "Perfect" and that seems like a definition that ought not to be redefined.

Would I kid u?

Advertisers Playing With Your Mind

I have noticing for awhile now an advertising idiosyncrasy that is fascinating (to me anyway).

It rivals the assault on our intelligence of a couple of years ago when every other commercial on television had talking animals telling us what to do about everything you could imagine.

This one involves the use of a single word… "deserve".

Advertisers have started to play with out minds by telling us that we are absolutely entitled to their product...

Mattresses -- “You deserve a great night’s sleep.”
Father’s Day -- “The best dad deserves the best steak.”
Travel -- “You deserve a trip to Las Vegas.”
Taxes -- “Your taxes should be raised because other people deserve your money.”
Clothing -- “You deserve an overpriced shirt with our company’s name on it.”

I sure hope that, after we acquire all the things we deserve, we can afford to pay for all the things to which we are entitled.

OK, I admit I made up the Taxes and Clothing examples above ... Or did I?

Would I kid u?

You Can’t See Damage? ... Pay Me Anyway

Remember the BP Oil Spill?

You just said to yourself, “What oil spill?” Yes, I know you are into your Current Crisis Mode. We all are. We are all fretting about issues that affect us in the here and now. Things like, Why the Heck Will the Japanese Not Allow Poor Paris Hilton Into Japan?

Oh, my gosh! Did I just use the word “poor” as an adjective that modifies Paris Hilton? I am worse off than I thought. We all know that there is a federal law against using the word “poor” in the same paragraph with Paris Hilton.

Back to the Oil Spill that you can’t remember...

I read recently where there is resort on Florida’s west coast that is asking for $1,000,000 in compensation from the $20,000,000,000 BP Compensation Fund claiming lost profits.

Now this may not strike you as worthy of a Foolishness...Or Is It? but let me give you the Rest of the Story... Not a single drop of oil washed ashore at the resort.

I feel through my foolishness sensors that I just failed to make an impression on you with this one but allow me to give you the Rest of the Rest of the Story... The tourist board in the county where the resort is located has reported that more tourists visited the county in the two months after the BP Oil Spill than in the same period last year.

I would be willing to bet, if I were willing to bet, that the resort owners will get their requested money because of the use of the tried and true legal term “but”. I can just hear it now, “Your honor, I know the facts are all against my client and my client’s case does not have a leg to stand on, but...”.

Would I kid u?

The Word “Traditional” Redefined

The English Language is expandable. New words make their way into our language all the time.

We also “improve” our language by redefining the definition/true meaning of words that have been with us for a long time. That is what recently happened in the legal case laid out below.

Again we have a lawyer to thank for making us better.

Briefly here is what the lawyer did for us all...

• The alleged accused perpetrator of the suspected possibility of a crime planted a backpack which contained what he thought was a bomb in a trash bin near a popular bar just steps away from Wrigley Field.
• The alleged accused perpetrator of the suspected possibility of other crimes had also told others about more attacks he was planning.
• These included bombing a skyscraper and assassinating Chicago Mayor Richard Daley.

The alleged accused perpetrator’s defense attorney is trying his best to educate us about the meaning of the word “traditional”. I shudder to think what we would do without attorneys.

The attorney said his client (and I quote), “is not the traditional bad guy”.

The Smartfella? is a highly untrained observer of such Foolishness. I will be more than glad to explain this attorney’s quote to you...

• A traditional bad guy wants to try to hurt a bunch of people he does not know.
• This attorney’s accused bad guy only wants to try to hurt a bunch of people he does not know.

I sure you see the difference ... Or do you?

Would I kid u?

Truth In Advertising

Back in 2006 ... "The BBC reports that a county council in Wales has ordered the Black Mountains Smokery to rename its spicy Welsh Dragon Sausages because the product doesn't contain dragon meat".

Don’t believe me? How could you think that of me? I am hurt.
For proof click here: http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/entrepreneur/article640266.ece

(Oops! 8/8/23 this link no longer works. It takes you to today's news.)

You got to admire the public watchdog’s of the world. They are looking out for each and every one of us. Heaven forbid that we should be deceived into buying sausage in anticipation of enjoying Dragon Meat and end up eating Beef!

Here are some other biting issues of the day that I hope they protect us from...

Cleveland Indians Baseball Team
The Cleveland Indians Team is shameful organization that is being forced to change its name because investigative reporters have discovered that there is not a single Indian (neither Native American nor Far East Asian) on the team.

Hamburgers
The FDA has banned the sale of all meat patties called hamburger because there is no Ham in Hamburgers. Effective immediately all McDonalds, Wendy’s, Burger King, Checkers, Krystal and Hardees fast food outlets are being boarded up by Federal Officials.

These mega chains have protested that they ought to be allowed to stay open because they do serve other food items. Our federal government has taken the position that a public trust has been violated and that violation has been long standing and is particularly egregious to a trusting ham seeking public.

Bulldawg Pizza ... Click here: http://www.bulldawgpizzaandmore.com/
(Oops! 8/8/23 this link no longer works either.)

You guessed it. There is no Dawg Meat in a Bulldawg Pizza.

There may be a legal loophole for this small pizza store because the Merriam-Webster Dictionary does not have the word “dawg” in its dictionary.

There is a potential problem for the above defense. At the last home game at the University of Georgia 54 incoming fans were asked if d o g was the way one would spell the word “dog”. All 54 looked at the questioner in confused disbelief. Each said that they never heard of a word that was spelled d o g. If they ate a Bulldawg Pizza, they fully expected that they were eating Lassie.

Would I kid u?

Easiest Thing I Will Ever Do

Image via Wikipedia

(Modified & Reposted 2/9/12)

I spend a lot of time in a health club trying to keep my heart from attacking me. So far it is working but it’s not easy. As I always say...

Staying Healthy Is Enough To Kill You

Today there is a new threat to my health from inside my Health Club. It is the Rock Music that the owners of the facility must think is an essential element of staying healthy because it is always there, it is always loud and it is always awful.

The other day in the midst of this musical assault, as my head was about to explode, I got a brainstorm about how I am going to spend my declining years ... I Am Going to Write Rock Music.

Why am I going to undertake such a difficult task, you ask? That’s just my point. It Is Not A Difficult Task. It is actually going to be one of the easiest things I have ever done...
 First I write five or six words of the lyrics like, “Ohhh baby you got great teeth”.
 Then I write about seven musical notes to sing the lyrics to.
 Then for two minutes the song repeats my five or six words in tune with my about seven musical notes ... Over and Over and Over and Over.

There you have it. Another modern-day Smash Hit Rock Tune that is sure to be a big money maker.

I did leave out one thing. Actually it is the most important thing ... My rocking tune is sung VERY LOUD! In the world of Rock Music, LOUD is more important than the five or six words or the seven musical notes.

One thing I will make sure I will not do. I will not make the sound as loud as a TV Commercial. That would be Beyond the Pale (whatever that is).

Would I kid u?

Maybe I’ll Start Smoking

The Smartfella? in a firm believer that, if you hang around with intelligent people, osmosis (or some such thing) will take over and I will become smarter by association (or some such thing).

It appears that smokers are smart people because they are avoiding taxes by buying their cigarettes using a machine that rolls their cancer sticks while they wait. By using these Roll-Your-Own Machines these smart guys are saving somewhere around $21 a carton.

Recent story headline in my newspaper...

Roll-Your-Own Cigarette Machines Help Evade Steep Tax

As I have told you, my dear readers, in a prior posting, throughout history tax payers have come up with ingenious ways to avoid paying their current ruler’s never-ending search for increased revenue. In the Middle Ages a tax was levied based on the number of Windows a homeowner had in his house. The Roll-Your-Own Citizens of that day bricked up their windows and avoided the Window Tax.

We fought the American Revolution over Taxation without Representation. Now we are finding that Taxation with Representation may not be working out as well as our founding fathers had envisioned.

As I peck this Foolishness...Or Is It? out our rulers are formulating ways to combat the decline of this Cigarette Tax Revenue...

• The Assistant Attorney General in New Hampshire is suing Cigarette Rolling Machine Manufacturers.
• There is a loop hole in current law about pipe tobacco being not currently as taxable as cigarette tobacco is taxable.
• These Rolling Machines are using pipe tobacco.
• Your FDA is determining “the appropriate response” and “soliciting industry input to help write new rules to tax pipe tobacco the same as cigarette tobacco.”

It is the Smartfella's? not so humble opinion that all this bureaucratic jockeying about law suits, loopholes, cigarette versus pipe, responses, industry input, etc. is completely unnecessary. The $345,000,000 in Lost Revenue can easily be restored by passing an Evasion of Taxes Surcharge Tax Penalty.

If they would go a bit further and levy a further penalty on the evaders for causing Stress and Mental Anguish to the Tax Collectors, this could be a real boon to the Tax Coffers in every state affected by this evil Cigarette Rolling Machine Scheme.

Would I kid u?

Opposite Positioning

I go to great lengths to discuss Politics in my Foolishness...Or Is It? without being Political. I will do that again in this posting but as you read what you are reading in this one you may start to think I am taking sides but I will not do that.

A short while back I was listening to a radio discussion which featured one talking head of the Liberal Persuasion and one from the Conservative Persuasion. The actual subjects they were bantering about are not important to this blog posting. It was the positions taken by the two sides that floored me.

One head made a devastating argument for his side of the topic under discussion. I said to myself, “Self, that is strong stuff! There is no comeback to that argument.” Then the other head talked his head and he said the exact opposite about every point that the first head had made. Someone had to be lying or wrong. There was no in between.

I was anxious to hear how the Moderator was going to draw out further evidence from both sides to support their positions but that never happened. The Moderator simply ignored the potential for juicy fact finding debate and moved on to another issue.

It dawned on me that I have seen this happen many times before. Actually it is an everyday occurrence. It is a strategy. This is what both sides do all the time. They send Talking Heads out to these Talk Shows to practice Opposite Positioning.

They emerge from their Focus Group Factories armed with a set of strongly held deep seated talking points and go to the Talk Shows to which they have been assigned for that particular day.

If they get to talk their heads first, they spout one of their strongly held deep seated beliefs. The #2 Head then says the opposite from what #1 Head had just said. #2 Head’s position may be exactly opposite to the strongly held deep seated belief he was about to recite before #1 Head took away his position. The Moderator then moves on to another subject.

They don’t have to believe what they are saying. They just have to say what they are saying. Both sides walk away feeling flushed with the sweet smell of victory. They are proud of what they have done and the voters are just as confused as we were before the heads made everything perfectly clear.

Since we are at the bottom of this Foolishness, I will give you The Bottom Line...If you think I am out of control on this one, I challenge you to stop and think about it for a few seconds. That’s about all it will take for you to come to the realization that I am speaking the truth. I always speak the truth...Or do I?

Would I kid u?

Our Criminals Need Our Help!

I have ranted before about how we need to educate our criminals so that they will become more effective at their chosen profession.

I recently read in my newspaper the following sad example of a criminal who appeared to be very good at stealing but was severely lacking when it comes to the logical steps he should perform on his ill-gotten goods before he tried to market his merchandise...
 When this criminal was caught he had in his possession a treasure of stolen goodies (162 cell phones and lots of computers, wallets and gift cards).
 He advertised his cell phones on Craigslist.
 A potential buyer, who had had his cell phone stolen, was shopping Craigslist for a replacement.
 The buyer saw a phone just like his stolen one and, because he was familiar with how to operate this particular model of phone, he bought it.
 When he turned on his nifty “new” phone, he found many of his Own Phone Numbers and his Return Address in his nifty “new” phone.
 The hapless criminal was arrested.

If our criminals are going to allowed to wallow around in their current state of ignorance, are we going to see the following lamentable situation arise in the future?
 A criminal breaks into a house and steals a whole bunch of things.
 Among his ill-gotten stuff he finds he has stolen a supply of Personal Stationary.
 He advertises the stolen Personal Stationary in Craigslist...

Don’t go to the time and expense of buying your own Personal Letterhead and Return Addressed Envelopes. If your name and address is exactly as specified below, you should jump on this, once in a lifetime opportunity, to acquire a whole bunch of personal stationary which is already tailor-made just for you.

I sure hope we do something to train our criminals to be better at what they do. After all, criminals are people too.

Would I kid u?

Are The Few Ruling The Many?

A few weeks ago I was in a lecture and trying hard to stay interested and/or awake when the talking guy hit me with this thought and I perked up and even started me thinking. The phrase that woke me up went something like this...

Are We Piling Garbage All Over The Garden

Because Some People

Don’t Like The Smell Of The Roses?

Does it not sometimes seem that we are falling all over ourselves trying to make a few loud ones among us happy and it does not matter what they are being loud about?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Teachers Wearing Masks

Note To My Dear Readers: I know nothing about the book at the left. All I do know is...It has a catchy title and the word "teachers" is that title.

Part 1:
Los Angeles Teachers want to be undercover agents. Sort of like the CIA or the Lone Ranger.

The Los Angeles Times reported recently the evaluations of some 6,000 Los Angeles city school teachers based on how well their students performed on standardized tests...

• L.A. is spending almost $30,000 per student.

• Since 1990 K12 education spending in California has grown by 191% and now consumes 40% of the state budget.

• Currently less than 2% of teachers are denied tenure in L.A.

• Teacher evaluations do not take into account whether students are learning.

• High school graduation rate is 40.6% which is second worst among large school districts in the U.S.

• The Times rated teachers using a “value added” analysis that has been popular in education research for years.

• Teachers are saying this way of evaluating their performance is not fair.

• The measure of school success currently is how much money was spent by the schools. (There you go thinking I made this one up.)

The teachers do have a plan of action. They are organizing a boycott of the L.A. Times. That ought to make the students smarter.

The Smartfella? would like to come to the defense of the teachers. I have done research of my own and I have found out that the reason the teachers did not want the 40.6% graduation rate published is not because they are ashamed. It is actually because they are so humble that they wanted the 40.6% kept quiet. You see the rate used to be much lower and they don’t want to be seen as braggarts.

Ok. I made this last part up ... Or did I?

Part 2:
As concerned citizens, we ought to take action to cover for our Government Education System. You, my dear reader, are now going to be the first to read about my Someone’s Got To Do It Initiative (SGTDII). You will be amazed at its simplicity and its logical approach to this all important problem...

• Recruit an army of volunteers 40 years of age and older.

• Why 40 years old and older? Research has found that the recently educated do not have the basic knowledge of Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, History and Geography to be able to take on these educational challenges. (Oops. Did I just insult a lot of people?)

• The volunteers will be equipped with bull horns and when the children are released for recess (if they still do have recess) the bull-horned volunteers will move in to educate the students.

• They will shout through their bull horns the many things that have fallen by the wayside in modern education (see numbered examples list below)...

1. 2 + 2 is 4.

2. The D.C in Washington, D.C does not stand for Da Capital. It stands for District of Columbia.

3. It’s “A Stitch In Time Is Worth Nine”. It is not “A Stitch In Time Is Worth Two In The Bush”.

4. Cultural Dancing is social interaction and fun but it is not a Career Path.

5. Spelling and punctuation is important. Filling in the “Why You Should Hire Me” part of a job application by saying “yo dude i wnt to wrk for yo biznes cuz i wnt a Ipad” will not get you hired.

6. Roe vs. Wade was not the decision that George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.

Sorry this one went so long but this is a weighty issue.

Do you feel you have spent too much time reading this? If so, it probably is because you read it too slowly. Go back to the beginning and read it a lot faster the second time. I know that will fix your problem because a government teacher told me it would.

Would I kid u?

Paris Hilton Has Been Promoted

We all know how talented Paris Hilton is ... Or do we?

One thing I know for sure is she is a Celebrity and we just love Celebrities!

A few days ago she was arrested again. This time it involved marijuana and cocaine.

In an article that reported her latest run in with the law, she is referred to as a “Celebrity Socialite”. We all, of course, know her to be a Celebrity and we most certainly know she is a Socialite. I must confess, I do not know which is higher on the Worship Scale ... Celebrity or Socialite but “Celebrity Socialite” certainly must be more important than the stand-alone title of either one of them.

Another thing I noticed (I notice a lot. It’s a curse), the article says that, if she is convicted, she faces Probation. This confuses me. I always thought that Probation came after a person had been convicted and had served their time in the clink.

I guess it must be different for Celebrity Socialites. They must have one of those (jewel encrusted) Monopoly Cards that says, “Get Out of Jail Free”. They simply show their card and go straight to Probation.

You know, I feel a lot better now that I have figured this one out.

Would I kid u?

Our Courts Are Powerful! ... Or Are They?

Today a nut (can I be sued for saying he was a nut?) took hostages, caused a ruckus at the Discovery Channel building and was killed. Could we have stopped him from doing all what he did? Our Court System certainly thought that it could.

It seems he had caused a ruckus at this same building a couple of years ago. Our Court System took action! They ordered him to stay 500 feet away from Discovery Headquarters. That worked well did it not?

Can’t you just hear this nut’s attorney (if he had not been killed today and was on trial) saying, “You Honor, my client used a GPS to determine when he was exactly 501 feet from the entrance to the building and he jumped to 499 feet.”

Can’t you just hear Your Honor saying in response, “You know you have a point there, counselor.”

Would I kid u?

Image by icantcu via Flickr

Nose To The Grindstone... Not!

Saw this in my newspaper today. It was an article about one of our U.S. Senators. It was not Senator Foghorn Leghorn. It was one of our well-known Senators. Here is what the article said about him and I quote...

“who spent his working career in residential real estate”

Image via WikipediaDo you see the key word? I’m sure you got it! The key word is “working”. Now that he is a U.S. Senator the article says he is no longer working!

Would I kid u?